As Mayor Lillian spoke into the mic on the tiny dance stage and welcomed people, the last few stragglers entered the roadhouse.
To JJ’s surprise, Hawk limped in, using the walking cane Caz had given him. Face pale and strained, he stepped to the side of the door.
Although still pissed-off at how he’d spoken to Regan, JJ pulled an empty chair away from a table of loud men. She pushed it against the wall at the end of a line of occupied chairs and waited for him to notice. He needed to sit until he got past the pain and could join his family.
At least he had a family.
As he straightened, his gaze landed on her. She motioned to the chair she’d planted her boot on to keep someone from appropriating it then pointed to him. Yeah, it’s for you, stupidhead…as Regan would say.
He scowled. Nodded.
As he moved toward her, a woman and little boy hurried in. The kid ran right into his wounded leg.
Hawk gave a growl of pain.
Looking up at the man, the child gasped and hid behind his mother. The woman saw Hawk and retreated so fast she almost tripped over her boy.
JJ frowned. That seemed excessive. Admittedly, Hawk’s face looked like rough road, but there was no need to act as if they’d seen Leatherface with a chainsaw.
Body a tense line, he watched them flee to the PZ corner, shook his head, and moved toward JJ. He gave her a cold look from eyes the color of steel. “Thanks for the chair,” he rasped and sat down very carefully.
Yes, he was hurting. “You didn’t drive here, did you?”
He flicked a glance at her. “Don’t need my left leg to drive.”
No wonder he looked like hell. “But…why?”
“Seems I have a niece. And own part of the town.”
True enough.
Caz had told her how, as the town was dying, Mako’d purchased a number of the failing businesses. With the newly opened mountain resort, Rescue was making a comeback. Mako’s sons were cherry picking who could purchase or lease the business properties. The guys seemed invested in bringing in good people.
From Hawk’s irritated expression, he’d rather have a root canal than have to be part of a community. Yet, here he was.
He sat back as Mrs. Wilner herded her class of third, fourth, and fifth graders out onto the stage. They were leading the singing of historic songs—gold mining tunes, Alaska Native songs, and old Russian songs. The children introduced each song with a bit of its history.
Hawk’s expression softened when Regan stepped forward to tell about the deaths from winter during the Klondike Gold Rush.
JJ smiled. Last week, she’d helped Regan make her performance more dramatic. Many of the other children had mumbled or spoken in a monotone. Regan’s delivery was clean, clear, and filled with emotion.
“Fucking amazing,” Hawk said.
When Regan finished, she looked at her father’s wide smile—and her expression lit up. When she checked the back of the room, JJ pumped her arm in the air for victory and got a happy grin.
Hawk gave Regan a thumbs-up, and the girl’s smile almost split her face.
“Good for you,” JJ said to him.
His face had gone back to being hard and unreadable. “What?”
“You made her whole night.”
“Yeah, right.” Yet the flash of vulnerability in his pitiless…haunted…gaze was startling.
Reconsidering her impression of him, she gave him a nod.
Behind her, two men entered the room, getting her attention when one said something about the law. She glanced over her shoulder.
Stopping by the wall, a rail-thin, black-bearded man continued talking to his friend. “Yes, I get why you don’t want to rock the boat here. But the movement will stall unless there is drastic action. Something to draw the attention of the nation.”
The brown-haired man shook his head. “No. That is not the way.”
After a second, JJ recognized them. The clean-shaven one was the Zealot leader, the so-called Reverend Parrish and the black-bearded one was Captain Nabera.
Parrish glanced at her, frowned, and his voice dropped. Nabera shot her a cold look before both men turned their attention to the stage.
As JJ leaned back against the wall, Principal Jones drew the school’s part of the program to a close. “…and I want to remind you there will be music to enjoy as you eat.” He waved to a trio of old-timers with guitars and a banjo.
People started to move around. Without even looking at JJ, Hawk limped over to the table where his brothers and Audrey were sitting, passing Gabe who grinned at him.
Joining JJ against the wall, Gabe listened to the trio for a moment and nodded approval. “They’ve been practicing.”
“They’re good. I’m surprised they didn’t ask you and your brothers.”
“They did, and we’re on in about an hour. You should join us.”
“No.” She took a step away from him. Singing at the house was one thing. In front of people? Oh God no, especially with these rumors.
“That’s what Audrey said…at first. She’ll be up there with us.”
“Chief, just the man I wanted to see.” Mrs. Wilner, Regan’s teacher, hurried up. Her shaggy hair, narrow face, and pointed nose reminded JJ of a curly-haired dachshund—and the woman was even friendlier.
JJ gave her a smile and started to ease away so the two could talk.
“No, don’t leave, Officer. I want you, too.”
“Want us for what?” Gabe asked.
“One of my programs during the winter months is to explore careers. Your fingerprinting presentation caught the children’s imaginations. I’d like to have you two visit our classroom and explain more of what you do, as well as the process of getting there.”
Oh, damn. JJ really wanted to keep a low profile right now, yet the idea was a good one. “Children—girls—have so many more choices now.”
“Exactly. How can we get the children to dream if they don’t see the end result?” Mrs. Wilner beamed. “So I can pencil you in for—”
“No. That’s a bad idea.” An attractive blonde with big hair turned away from a nearby group. Arms crossed over lush breasts, she scowled. “You keep that woman away from our vulnerable children.”
JJ almost cringed.
Mrs. Wilner looked confused. “Excuse me? Who in the world are you talking about, Giselle?”
The blonde put her nose in the air. “Whatever that officer and those men do out at their place is their business, but she can stay away from the school.”
Gabe growled. “There’s nothing going on at the Hermitage. Where the hell did you—”
“Nothing, my ass. We saw her. Making out with the doc right there on the street. Like—”
JJ found a smidgeon of courage and firmed her voice. “Last time I looked, even police officers were allowed to—”
Giselle flipped her hand up, palm out, in the time-honored talk to the hand. “Don’t speak to me. Or my daughter.” Turning, she grabbed the hand of Regan’s friend, Delaney, and headed toward the other side of the room.
“That woman.” Mrs. Wilner sighed, then looked at JJ and Gabe. “We’ll figure something out.”
JJ put her hand on her stomach, feeling as if she was going to throw up. Wouldn’t that just top off an ugly night?
Expression hard, Gabe was watching the Hermitage table with Bull, Hawk, Audrey, and Caz. The adults, even Hawk, were keeping Regan running with orders. The little girl was eating it up.
“Gabe? I…” When he turned to look at her, she faltered to a stop, because what could she say? She wasn’t a slut, but she’d certainly been having sex with Caz. There were no rules against a law enforcement officer having a sex life. Having relationships. Yet, considering the mess in her past, it’d been decidedly unwise.
She bit her lip and felt like crying. Did that mean she needed to go through life without love?
“You didn’t do anything wrong. But we do need to address the situation.” Gabe’s lips curved, but the smile didn’t
reach his eyes. “Let’s talk tomorrow.”
“Ah…since I’m off, I figure I’ll drive up to Anchorage tonight. Spend a couple of days in the city.” Yes, it would be fleeing, yet she needed to think without any distractions.
In Weiler, the disaster affected only her. Here? What would it do to the reputation of the police department? To Caz and his health clinic? And…the most vulnerable of all—to Regan?
Gabe studied her. “All right. We’ll talk Monday. We’ll figure this out, JJ.”
“Sure.”
The festival had been awesome.
In her bedroom, Regan turned over in bed. Sirius mewed in annoyance before he settled back down against her tummy. Again. Okay, maybe she was moving too much, but she was kinda bouncy.
She’d done good in her part of the program. Everybody said so. Mr. Hawk—Uncle Hawk—had even given her a thumbs-up.
JJ had been working, so she hadn’t sat with the uncles, Audrey, and Papá, but she’d been there. Regan grinned into Sirius’s fur, remembering how the cop had done a fist pump for Regan. JJ was so chill. And she gave great hugs.
There’d been so much food. A couple of the casserole-things were icky, but there’d been cherry pie and cookies and a ginormous cake with sprinkles. She’d pretended to be a waitress and brought drinks for the grownups, and Uncle Bull said he’d hire her when she was older.
Niko had been there with his family, and his dad had said she could come over and meet his dog.
Regan’s smile faded. Delaney’s mom hadn’t let her sit with Regan, and Delaney had looked weird before they left. Like she almost wanted to cry.
Well, Regan would talk to her tomorrow and—
“What the fuck were you thinking, bro?” The angry voice came from outside. That was Uncle Gabe. Something crashed, and Regan cringed at the loud grunt. The groan.
Regan sat up. Was he hurt?
“Dios, Gabe. At least tell me what I’ve done before you punch me.”
That was Papá. Uncle Gabe had hit him?
“What do you think you’ve done? Did you not hear the shit they’re saying about JJ?”
“JJ? What about JJ?”
Regan crawled out of bed and over to the window. Nothing to see—just the side of Mako’s cabin. But she could hear. Real good.
“You and JJ? Ring a bell?” Gabe made a growly sound like a mean dog. “I told you your rep could hurt her. For fuck’s sake, they’re saying she’s doing us all out here.”
“Please. No one would believe that.”
“Except you two were seen locking lips. Jesus, Caz, I thought we had an agreement. Hands off my officer.”
Papá didn’t say anything for a long time. “That was the plan. It didn’t—and won’t—work out.”
Uncle Gabe made a sarcastic noise. “Bro, no female lasts more than one night with you. She doesn’t need your crap.”
“There’s something between us.”
“Are you shitting me? It’s serious?”
“Sí.”
“Is that why she headed for Anchorage?” Uncle Gabe’s voice kept getting louder.
“She what?”
“Yeah, you’re really close. I can tell.”
“Pinche cabrón.” Then there was that sound again—and Regan’s stomach got all tight because they were fighting.
A groan.
“Next time you want to talk, ’mano, use your words first, not your fists.” Papá’s boots sounded on the deck. The door to the house opened and closed.
Uncle Gabe was still outside, and she didn’t think he was supposed to be using words like that.
Feeling sick, she climbed into bed and buried her face in Sirius’s soft fur. What was going on? Uncle Gabe had hit Papá, and Papá had hit back. But why? Something about JJ.
Did Papá want her for a girlfriend?
Regan hands closed into fists. Mom had gone after guys—like a lot—and when she had a new boyfriend, she forgot she had a kid, too. She’d be with the guy all the time, wouldn’t come home till she needed clothes.
Apartments were scary at night.
If Papá got a girlfriend, would he forget he had a daughter?
“But JJ likes me,” Regan whispered to Sirius. “Doesn’t she?”
Chapter Twenty-Six
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. ~ Murphy’s Laws of Combat Operations
* * *
Papá’d been in a crummy mood on Saturday and Sunday. He’d been looking at his phone a lot, and his face got all hard. An’ he was still nice to her, but he wasn’t happy at all.
JJ wasn’t at her place. On Sunday, Regan had been sitting on Mako’s big couch…again…and crying when Uncle Bull came in, and he took her to his roadhouse and taught her how to make cherry pie. He said she’d get him put in jail for child labor—and then laugh. He was kinda crazy.
Last night, Papá got the first Harry Potter movie, and they ate popcorn and watched it, only she kept missing JJ. And not missing JJ.
She hadn’t been able to eat any breakfast with her stomach feeling icky. Sirius ate her eggs when Papá went to finish getting dressed.
School had been hard. All day, Delaney kept giving her funny looks but wouldn’t talk about it at lunch. Just said her mom was saying bad stuff.
Finally, the bell rang and school was over. Regan walked out with Delaney. “What? Tell me now.”
“Mom says that JJ’s doing sex with all your uncles and your dad. All of them.” Delaney looked sick.
Regan stared. “No, she’s not. Well, not Papá. I would’ve seen.” Although JJ had been over a lot. For supper. To watch movies.
“Not if they were doing it after you went to bed,” Delaney pointed out as they walked down the dirt sidewalk toward town. “Mom saw your dad kissing Officer Jenner. Right out on the street and everything.” Her voice lowered. “Open-mouthed and tongue.”
“Ew.” That’s what Uncle Gabe had said, wasn’t it? All of it. And locking lips—that was kissing, right? “I guess she might be his girlfriend. Maybe that’d be okay. She’s nice.”
“That’s what I told Mom. That she’s really nice and does your hair and stuff.” Delaney nodded fiercely. “But Mom says she’s only nice to you to suck up to the doc. When she has him good and tight, she’ll make him get rid of you.”
Every word struck like the slaps of a hard hand, like the way Mom would hit her if she got in the way. Especially when Mom was flirting with a new boyfriend. That was how grownups were. A new lover meant a kid got forgotten.
Or gotten rid of? The chill that filled Regan was as cold as the muddy snow under her boots.
Maybe JJ didn’t even like her, was just being nice so she could hang around with Papá.
“Oh, it’s the little stupid girls. The noob and the fatty.” Brayden came running up beside Shelby. He shoved Delaney off the path and started to push Regan.
Anger filled her until she couldn’t see, and she hit him with all of her strength. Just like Papa and JJ had taught her.
He fell back on his butt, nose gushing blood. “Bitch spic!”
Shelby slapped Regan right across the face. “Leave him alone.”
Regan kicked her in the knee and followed with a fist to her belly. “Soft belly, you fucking bitch.”
Brayden was up. A hard fist hit Regan’s mouth and her cheek, and she screamed and put her head down, ramming him in the chest. He tripped and fell, and she landed on him and kept hitting him.
“Fighting again? What are they teaching you here?” JJ yanked Regan off of Brayden and dumped her in the snow off to one side. Then she grabbed Delaney and Shelby and pushed them apart.
Regan stared. Delaney had jumped into the fight? Her friend’s hair was all over the place and scratches ran down her face. Shelby fought like a girl.
“Mr. Jones,” JJ called to the principal who’d just left the building. “Can you deal with the older ones? I’ll escort Regan and Delaney to town and have the doc look—”
“No!” Regan yelled. “No, you won’t.”
JJ turned. “What?”
“You just want my Papá for your boyfriend. You’re not my friend. You were never my friend, and I hate you.” Tears burned her eyes, and everything hurt.
Regan ran toward town.
* * *
Stunned into silence, JJ stared after Regan, feeling as if she was the one who’d lost the fight.
Oh, God, she had. She’d lost…everything. To be part of Rescue, to be able to serve them. Lost things she’d only begun to realize she wanted. A man. A family. That little girl who’d fled as if JJ was a monster.
As despair swept through her, JJ bit her cheek to keep from crying. All weekend in Anchorage, she’d been mustering her courage. She’d decided to stay. To outlast the rumors.
Because she had Caz. Almost a family. Caz and Regan were worth fighting for.
But now… She looked down the road. Regan was still running.
Turning, JJ ran her gaze over Delaney…and remembered how the child’s mother, Giselle, had been so nasty. But it wasn’t the child’s fault. “Where is your mother picking you up?”
“Not my mom, but Grams is.” Delaney looked as if she’d rather be anywhere but with JJ.
“Are you hurt anywhere?”
“Uh-uh. Shelby just scratched me.” Delaney backed down the path.
Who was JJ to stop her? “All right. Make sure your grandmother cleans the scratches and puts an antibiotic ointment on them.” JJ made a shooing motion and the child ran toward town.
Escaping. Fleeing.
JJ’s shoulders sagged. It appeared that was what she herself needed to do.
She and Caz weren’t really in a relationship, but they were in…something. He’d undoubtedly heard the rumors about her, but, knowing Caz, she doubted he’d care, except for how they might affect her.
Every beat of her heart spread the pain deeper. For him, she would’ve stayed and tried to weather the storm. Would have ignored the name-calling and ugliness, but this mess involved more than just the two of them.
Regan mustn’t get swept into the sewer along with JJ. Even if JJ tried to explain what was happening, the child was too young to understand about vindictive gossip. About lying.
Lethal Balance Page 28