Afraid they might be overheard, Anne lowered her voice. ‘I must admit, I’m convinced it had to be a neighbour who complained. But can you blame whoever it was? I mean … I’m sure you agree, we wouldn’t have chosen them as neighbours.’
Meanwhile, upstairs in Marie’s room, Cathy was explaining to Marie how worried she was about Ronnie. ‘What’s going to happen to him? He doesn’t have anywhere else to go. He can’t go to Beth’s house because he doesn’t get on with her horrible husband.’ Now the tears began to flow.
Marie slid a comforting arm about Cathy’s shoulders. ‘Aw, now, don’t go getting yourself all upset. I know it’s a bit of a shock, but I reckon we should stay calm until we’ve had time to talk about it properly. I’ve no doubt Ronnie will tell you all about his plans in the light of what’s happened next door. But, I promise, if you haven’t heard from him by the end of the day, I will have a word with her next door.’
Cathy was not convinced. ‘She probably won’t want to talk with you, Nan, after what’s happened. She’ll be upset herself.’
Marie had the very same thought, but she put on a smile. ‘Let’s be patient, eh? I imagine Ronnie doesn’t even know that we’re home yet. Either way, I don’t want you worrying, because I believe that either Ronnie will be round to see you, or he’ll call to let you know what his plans are. If he loves you – and I’m sure he does – he’ll be in touch, you’ll see.’
‘I hope so, Nan.’ Cathy sniffed. ‘I told you, didn’t I, Nan, how when his parents died – they were old, much older than you are, and not very well – he and his sister lived in the house but when his sister got married, he came to lodge next door because he didn’t want to live in his parents’ house by himself.’
‘Yes, you told me all of that.’ Marie continued to unpack her case. ‘I still believe he will contact you so you can stop your worrying.’
Cathy was not so confident. ‘If they’re evicted, he won’t have anywhere to go, and I’m really worried about him. Where is he, Nan? Where could he have gone?’
Marie shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart. Like you, I have no idea. There is a chance that he might not even have seen the board yet, if he’s been at work today. Think back, was it there when you and Mum left the house?’
‘No, Nan. I would have noticed it.’
‘Well, there you are then! Maybe he left for work before the board was put up, and if that was the case he might not even realise what’s happened. All we can do, is be patient and see what transpires. I’m sure he’ll be in touch. Either way, you must be patient and see what turns up.’
‘Oh, Nan! It’s so unfair. It really suited Ronnie to live at Bob and Peggy’s because it’s near his work at the garage, and also he said he wanted to be near me.’ Remembering that lovely moment when he’d told her this, she blushed a tender shade of pink.
‘I never told anyone else, Nan, but Ronnie said he was saving up for a deposit on a little rented place of his own. He said he was looking to the future and wanted us to be together.’
‘Really? Well, I never! And you didn’t even say a word to anyone.’
It seemed as though Cathy was truly in love. That they were planning a little nest together meant that she and Ronnie were more serious than Marie had thought.
She realised that the time to tell the truth was not all that far away.
Maybe her relationship with Cathy would be damaged as her darling girl’s trust was undermined by the lies.
The clock was ticking fast now, bringing the dreaded moment ever closer.
For now though, Marie forced herself to put away her own fears, and concentrate on Cathy and the young man it seemed she loved and possibly intended to spend the rest of her life with.
‘Mum, Cathy, what are you doing up there?’ Anne’s raised voice resonated through the house. ‘You must be hungry. Come down, I’ve made us some more tea and some sandwiches.’
Having been duly summoned, Marie and Cathy quickly arrived and were seated at the table in the cosy kitchen.
‘There you are!’ Anne proudly indicated the late lunch she had set out. There was a large home-made chocolate cake, baked that very morning, set alongside a plate piled high with sandwiches, and right in the centre of the table sat the big old china teapot hot and ready for another round of tea.
While everyone was tucking in, the conversation continued about next door, Dave filling Marie and Cathy in on the drama, and what might happen to the family, although Cathy was more concerned for just one special person. ‘Daddy?’
‘Yes, Cathy?’ Dave glanced up. ‘What is it?’
‘Well … it’s just that I’m worried about Ronnie. Did you hear if he was caught up in the rowing and such?’
‘Well, no. It was just the two of them, Bob and Peggy, going at each other … like two maniacs they were!’ Dave’s imagination had been much exercised by what he’d heard of the row, and he couldn’t stop talking about it.
‘But I’m afraid love, Ronnie has gone up North for a while, to find some work and sort himself out a bit. He couldn’t go on living with that pair now could he?’
While the others talked of the neighbours, Cathy’s thoughts, as ever, were with the young man she had given her heart to. Now, though, doubts were creeping in, and she began to believe that maybe, just maybe, he did not feel about her the same way she felt about him. Maybe he had not been sincere when he told her that he loved her.
The cruel possibility that he might have been stringing her along made her deeply unhappy.
And she was feeling quietly troubled, even if she had no real reason to be. It was just the little things that made her unsettled, to do with the family. Maybe it was her own vivid imagination that made her uneasy. In fact, Nan was always telling her how she had too vivid an imagination.
And maybe her nan was right. But things hadn’t been quite the same ever since her nan had booked her holiday to Blackpool. Because one time, when she’d walked into a room and her nan and mum had been quietly talking, she’d noticed how the conversation had suddenly stopped when they saw her. She recalled how she was made to feel oddly uncomfortable. It was almost as though they had been talking about her, and were afraid she might have overheard the conversation … which might have been something she was not to know.
Whatever it was … there was no doubt whatsoever in Cathy’s mind that her unexpected entrance had startled them into an uncomfortable silence.
But for whatever reason, she still felt there was something not quite right with her life. There was always some little thing niggling at her peace of mind. And when she’d mentioned it to Ronnie, he assured her that she mustn’t worry, because he also had doubts and worries. Mainly his thoughts were for their future, and the hope that nothing would go wrong to interfere with their plans, to be together and stay together, for the rest of their lives.
‘I’m sure everyone has doubts and worries,’ he told her now, ‘it’s the way of life, I suppose. It seems that there is always someone worrying about something.’
When he gently gathered Cathy into his arms, she told him softly, ‘I think you’re right. So! We shall have to stop worrying and start believing, won’t we?’
With Ronnie by her side, she felt as though she could face anything that fate had to throw at her, and all of a sudden, she felt immensely grateful for what she had. He was the love of her life and with him by her side she felt strong and safe. She ached for the moment he was back here with her. What would she do without him?
‘And now he’s gone? Left without a goodbye?’ Cathy said sombrely. ‘I just know I won’t see him again.’
Dave had reached a point in his narrative where Ronnie had come round hoping to see Cathy. Suddenly, he leaped to his feet. ‘Dammit! With all the noise and chaos next door, I almost forgot!’ He grabbed an envelope from beside the toaster and handed it to Cathy. ‘I’m so sorry, love, it went out of my head until just now.’
She turned the envelope over and over in her hands. ‘I’m almos
t afraid to open it,’ she admitted. ‘I worry about what he might have said, what plans he might have. I was thinking he’d gone away without even letting me know. I should have realised he would never do that.’
Cathy instantly recognised Ronnie’s haphazard and swirly handwriting. She was pleased and greatly relieved that he had thought of her especially when he must have had so many worrying matters playing on his mind.
‘On the contrary, as I was just about to say, Ronnie came round to see you.’
‘Came here? When? How long ago? If I go now will I catch up with him?’
‘No, I’m sorry, love, I think you really have missed him,’ said Dave. He told the women how Ronnie had appeared in the hope of seeing Cathy, what he’d said about finding a new job and then had left for the station.
‘We didn’t see him there,’ said Cathy, looking tearful again. ‘He must have got there after we had set out in the taxi home.’
Anne put her arm around Cathy’s shoulders. ‘Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m sure he tried and it was just bad luck.’
‘I know he tried,’ said Dave. ‘There’s no doubt that the young fella is mad about you. He’s off to seek his fortune and it’s all with your future together in mind. He’ll be in touch, right enough, when he’s settled. And in the meantime he left that note for you. Why don’t you open it and read what he has to say? I’m sure he’s explained it all much better than I can.’
As Marie watched Cathy unfold Ronnie’s letter she saw the joy on that lovely girl’s face and her eyes brimmed with tears which she quickly and carefully brushed away, so that Cathy and the others would not see.
A moment later, Cathy was out of the chair and heading for the stairs. ‘I’ll finish reading it up in my room,’ she said. ‘Oh! And he sends his love to everyone!’
As she ran up the stairs, Anne called out to her, ‘While you’re up there, you can tidy that bedroom. It’s disgraceful. Oh, and put your shoes in the wardrobe, there’s a love! And in future hang your clothes up instead of draping them on the backs of the chairs. It’s like a rag-and-bone shop in there at times!’ Chuckling quietly, she added, ‘Read your letter first, though. You can tell us all about it later.’
While Cathy lay on her bed, reading Ronnie’s loving words, the three of them downstairs quietly discussed where Ronnie might be now, and whether he had had any success in finding a place to stay.
‘This upset with the landlord was bound to have made Ronnie think of his own, unstable situation,’ Anne said. ‘It can’t have been a picnic living there, what with the shocking rows, to say nothing of the lack of discipline with the sons, and all the other yobs coming round for late-night parties, causing chaos and uproar in the early hours. I’m sure neighbours have complained time and again – I’m ashamed to say I’ve been tempted once or twice.’
Being that much older and wiser, Marie had seen this kind of thing before, ‘Yes, you’re right, and it looks like they’ve gone too far this time or the landlord would never have put up that board.’
Dave added his own opinion, ‘I’m not sure if they’ve had a warning before like they did this time, but they would have probably ignored him if they did. If you ask me, what with one thing and another, the poor landlord must be fed up to his eyes with the pair of them.’
Anne recalled one particular incident, ‘Oh … yes, what about that time when they insisted the landlord should replace the back door. They told him it happened during the night and they had no idea who had done it. They never did tell the truth … as to how it was the husband who kicked it down, after she locked him out following a huge row between the two of them. The poor landlord still believes that it was done by some angry drunkard. He never did find out that it was the husband himself who did the damage.’
‘They really are a shameful pair, aren’t they? I know I shouldn’t gossip but she swears like an old soldier, sometimes I hear her let rip from the kitchen window. Father O’Malley must think hellfire’s been let loose on us.’ But after saying that, Marie was not altogether without feelings for the family. ‘To be honest though, and even after they’ve been noisy and offensive to us and the other neighbours, you never know the circumstances, do you? I’ve had some long chats with her over the fence when we’ve been hanging the washing out, we’ve talked about the kids mostly. I can’t help but feel a measure of sympathy for them … or for anyone else who is threatened with losing their home.’
‘Ah, but that’s because you have a soft heart and you always look for the best in everyone, Mum.’ In truth though, Anne had also felt a pang of regret for their rowdy, troublesome neighbours.
Marie was relieved that they might shortly have newer, quieter neighbours. ‘I don’t imagine for one minute that Ronnie would want to stay any longer in that madhouse. Of course, the entire family will be heading off any day now unless they somehow wriggle out of their current troubles and manage to make peace with the landlord.’
Anne added quietly, ‘From what you tell me, Dave, I really think they’ve gone too far this time. We know the landlord has threatened them before, but as far as I can tell they’ve taken no notice of him whatsoever. This time, though, it looks serious.’
‘Maybe Ronnie’s sister can put him up,’ Dave suggested worriedly. ‘If he’s got a sound base to work from, he’ll soon find employment, I’m sure.’
‘Well, I hope she can.’ Families, she thought – who’d have them!
Anne was ever optimistic, but she did have her doubts. She knew Beth’s husband was a difficult man and there was no love lost between him and Ronnie.
CHAPTER EIGHT
NOW THAT MARIE was fortified with sandwiches and the delicious chocolate cake, and Cathy was occupied upstairs with Ronnie’s letter, Anne wanted to hear all about Marie’s trip to Blackpool. Dave offered to tidy away the tea things and do the washing up while Anne and Marie took themselves into the sitting room and sat close together on the sofa so that they could converse quietly.
Marie was glad to unburden herself of the unpleasantness of her encounters with Eileen and she had to confess that she had failed in what she had set out to do.
‘I thought in that cheerful place, with the holiday atmosphere and all the wonderful memories of the good times we had, that they would forgive me,’ she said sorrowfully, ‘but it was not to be. I think Tony might have done, but Eileen didn’t give him a chance to get a word in. She’s very bitter towards me still. Had it gone better, I might have ventured to tell them the truth about Cathy but I don’t think they’re ready for that now, if ever.’
‘How awful that must have been,’ said Anne. ‘You were obviously made uncomfortable just being with them, weren’t you?’
‘Yes, I admit there were moments when I was sorely tempted to make my way home. I desperately needed to tell them the truth, but then I would imagine their reaction, and I couldn’t do it. Like I said, Eileen still believes that I ended the pregnancy. And Tony knows nothing.’
Anne was greatly relieved that the secret had not got out somehow. ‘To be honest, Mum, I’m always nervous that one way or another they might find out. I don’t mind admitting, I still have nightmares about that.’
She lowered her voice further. ‘Oh, dear Lord, if the truth ever did come out, and it wasn’t us that revealed it, it would be the end of love and trust as far as Cathy is concerned. She would be absolutely devastated. It doesn’t even bear thinking about. She would never forgive us – never in a million years – and I for one would not blame her.’
Marie was stricken with guilt all over again. ‘For pity’s sake, Anne, do you think I don’t know all that? I fall asleep at night to that thought rampaging about my head, and I wake up in a nightmare that’s never ending. And when I look at her and remember the truth of what we did, I don’t know what to do, or even to think, knowing that it was me who actually caused all this deception. I should never have turned to you. It was incredibly selfish of me to put you and Dave in that situation, but I had nowhere else to turn.’
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She admitted tearfully, ‘I often wonder if it might be best if I was to confess everything now, to throw myself at Cathy’s mercy and hope she might find it in her heart to forgive us.’
Thinking of Cathy now – the look on her face when she’d seen Ronnie’s letter – Marie’s heart grew warm. There had been many times over these past fretful years when she had asked herself if it would have been better if Cathy had never been born. And each time the answer was a resounding no. Of course Cathy was meant to live, and love, and experience the joys of being in a world that held such beauty and promise. Cathy was a lovely-natured young woman with a heart of gold and a way of making friends wherever she went.
So often Marie asked herself how she could ever have given birth to such a darling girl, a girl who was born out of badness and deceit, but who had grown into a beautiful woman. She had a way of caring about people so that they instinctively returned the love back to her.
Feeling threatened by her own imaginings, Marie leaned closer to Anne. ‘It frightens me, the fact that one day everything will be out in the open. I know it’s the right thing but it scares the living daylights out of me. For all these years, the truth of what happened has been such a heavy cross to bear, but it’s only what I deserve. If I could change the past, I would in an instant, but I can’t. I often think how my life might have been if I truly had terminated the pregnancy. Lord knows I meant to. I found out where to go, which was difficult, as I didn’t want anyone I knew to hear that I’d been asking, but I could not bring myself to do it and at the last moment, I ran away. I could not end an innocent child’s life, not even if it ruined my own. I always knew in my heart that I could never go through with it.’
She reached out to take hold of her daughter’s hand. ‘I’m so sorry to have brought you and Dave the problem, that was unfair of me. I should never have done that to you, my daughter.’
‘You didn’t bring us into the problem,’ Anne told her mother softly. ‘It was the two of us who convinced you that we could help. How could we let you do that terrible thing? If you’d been found out you’d have gone to prison. And do you know what, Mum? Neither of us has ever regretted helping you. Somehow, at some time, like you, I know the truth must come out. But when it does, we’ll be there with you, me and Dave, together. Like we’ve always brought Cathy up – as a family. Until then, you must stop punishing yourself. What will be will be.’
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