“He must love us a lot,” she pondered aloud. “It still doesn’t make sense to me, though. The story does, but His love doesn’t. It’s too much. I don’t deserve it.”
“None of us do,” Jackson responded. “That’s why it’s a gift. You just have to decide if you want to accept that gift.”
Evelyn looked at Jackson and Charles. This is what made them so similar, she decided, their faith. She saw now that everything they did, everything they thought, was grounded in this faith, this relationship with the Creator of the world who died to save humanity. “I’ve always believed in God, does that count?”
Jackson took over answering her questions. “Do you believe what my dad just told you; that Jesus is the Son of God and died and rose again to save you and forgive you of your sins?”
She nodded. Though she had only just learned this, something inside her knew it to be true. “Is belief all it takes? That seems too easy.”
“No,” Jackson replied, “Even demons believe; you can believe in Him and still reject Him. You have to confess to Him that you are a sinner, that you’re imperfect, and that you need Him.”
“I do!” she exclaimed, hope bubbling inside her. “Of course I do! But really, that’s all it takes?” Excitement was bubbling within her.
Jackson smiled tenderly. “Yes, that’s all it takes.”
A frown overtook her features. As always, she was cautious with hope, and what Jackson and Charles were saying…well, it didn’t seem fair. “But He did all the work, and I get all the gain.”
Jackson put his hand over hers. “He is your great reward, and you are His treasured and precious child. Never again will you be Fatherless. He loves you and delights in you and your love for Him.”
Tears sprang to her eyes as Jackson’s words poured God’s love into her heart. She was loved. She had a Father!
Natalie walked in then. Evelyn saw the worry her tears were causing.
“We have a new sister in Christ,” Charles explained.
Natalie’s arms flew up. “Praise Jesus!” She squealed as she ran to Evelyn, throwing her arms around her in a mama bear hug. “Welcome to the family, dear.”
Evelyn was overwhelmed by this love. God’s love. She had found a Father, and an entire family in Him. As Natalie hugged her, she wept tears of joy and hope.
Jackson still held her hand, and Charles put his hand on her arm and prayed over her. “Father we thank You for Your daughter, and her new life in You. Thank You for bringing her into our son’s life and ours and we look forward to an eternity together with You. We pray protection over her, and steadfastness in her heart for knowing You more. Please clothe her with Your strength and help her find her beauty in You. And we ask for blessings to pour over her, and that Your will, will be the desire of her heart. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Chapter 26
Jackson watched Evelyn in the seat across from him, as she watched his parents’ home fade from sight. Though he wasn’t looking himself, the bend in the road told him it was out of sight. Evelyn’s eyes lingered out the window a minute longer before she settled back against her seat with a sigh.
“Goodbyes are hard,” he commented. Her eyes met his and he saw the tears she was holding back. Her lips parted as if she might say something, but instead she closed them with a weak smile, and dropped her eyes to her hands.
His attention followed hers, and the silence stretched on as they watched Evelyn’s nervous energy escape through her hands.
“You’re still nervous around me.”
She tossed him an amused expression. “I think I’ll always be nervous with you. But,” she continued, reading between the lines. “Right now, I’m just trying to process everything from the last couple of days. And from this morning.”
Guilt and regret weighed on him as he sat there watching her. He’d let a year and a half go by…
“I’m–” His voice cracked. Weird. And a little embarrassing. “I’m sorry I never spoke to you about God, or about my faith, until today.”
Her hands stilled. “You’ve shown me God, even if you never said anything. But next time someone asks you why you’re so nice, it might be a good opening to tell them about Jesus.”
Jackson laughed lightly but felt a heaviness in his heart that wasn’t there earlier. She was right, in one sense; but in another way she was wrong. He should have told her about God’s love when she asked him why he was kind to her, but in reality, he hadn’t been consciously acting out God’s love for her. He’d been acting on his feelings for her. He could see now God had given him so many opportunities to share His love with her, His salvation. But his eyes had been focused on Evelyn; not God.
“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” she asked. “God’s love, I mean.”
“Yes, it is,” he answered assuredly.
“Just look at us.” Her words came like thoughts trying to work themselves out. “You needed help finding a book, and so we met. I’m a complete fool and got mixed up with Tom and needed you to rescue me, and somehow, we became friends. I got attacked and m-” she stuttered and couldn’t finish. Shaking her head, she continued. “You rescued me, again, and took me to your parents’ home and, for some unfathomable reason, I got to meet God! Happenchance meetings. Heartbreak. Even injury. And it all brought me here, with you.”
Their whole relationship had been marked out by God to bring her to Him. Thank You for saving her, he prayed. Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep… The words from Luke 15 ran through his mind. I rejoice with you, Lord. You are good.
“It’s humbling to see Him work.”
“You mean God?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowed in an adorable way.
“Yes, God.” He saw questions bouncing in her head, so he stayed quiet and waited for her to voice them.
“Do you believe God set it all up?” she asked with sincere confusion.
“Well,” Jackson thought aloud. “It’s clear God had you marked as His. Jeremiah 29:11 says God knows the plans He has for us, for a hope and a future. And Romans 8:28 says He uses all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. I think He’s a good God who didn’t want to see you live without Him for another day. I believe He took Tom’s ill intent, and even my failure to speak to you about my faith, and used it all to bring you to Him.”
Evelyn mulled this over, thinking back over other things that had worked to prepare her to hear and receive God. The Madames, the stained-glass-windows, even things Bekah had said. Hindsight was always better, and she saw now the arrows God had placed throughout her life, pointing her to Him.
“Evelyn, how old are you?” Jackson asked suddenly.
“Twenty. I thought you knew that?”
“That’s what I thought. I’ve just never asked you.”
“How old are you?”
“I turned twenty-seven last Monday. When do you turn twenty-one?”
“June second.”
“Do you have a middle name?”
She smiled playfully. “Yes, do you?”
“Charles, after my father. Will you tell me yours?”
“Evelyn.” She laughed at the face he made. “I go by my middle name. I don’t know when, or why, they started calling me Evelyn, but when they told me it was my mother’s middle name too, I didn’t mind. My first name is Ayanna.”
“What does it mean?”
“Beautiful flower.” Her face scrunched at the confession.
“I think that’s a perfect name for you,” Jackson said, remembering how he’d thought of her as a flower among thorns the first time he saw her. “So, now I know your full name, and your birthday, and how old you are. What else don’t I know?”
“I don’t know,” she said shrugging. “I’m not really used to telling people things about myself. You already know more than most people. What do you want to know?”
“You’ve never had a boyfriend?”
Her cheeks flushed. “Correct.”
“And
you really don’t know of anyone else who’s ever liked you, like that, I mean?”
“No. Remember, before college I was pretty much surrounded by girls, living in a government home and all. The only boy I ever saw regularly was Tom since his dad manages the orphan program. Why are you asking?”
“Well,” Jackson continued, not answering her question. The reminder of how long Tom had been in her life chaffed his nerves. He tried to not think about it. “You’ve been in college for a while now. You really, honestly, have no knowledge of men being attracted to you?” He smiled as she turned into a tomato.
With her hands clasped tight, Evelyn shook her head.
“You’re oblivious to the world around you,” he said, laughing. “Do you know how many guys I’ve overheard talking about you? And not in relation to Tom, either. I almost hit a guy this past spring because of the way he was talking about you!” Okay, maybe he had hit a guy because of it, but she didn’t need to know that. Besides, it was more of a shove.
“Being talked about isn’t the same as being liked,” she said quietly.
He sobered. “You’re very right, it’s not. But you’re still oblivious.”
She rolled her eyes. He was oblivious. “Do you have any more questions?”
“Oh, I have more. Have you ever liked anyone, more than just their looks I mean? Liked them the way you want to be liked?”
“You ask very personal questions.”
He just kept looking at her, waiting for her to answer.
“No.”
“Liar.”
“Yes,” she conceded under the pressure of his gaze. “Yes, of course I’ve liked someone.”
“Who is he?” he asked, undaunted.
“Jackson, even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t tell you.” She gave him the cutest pointed look. “How far is it to Syracuse?”
“Maybe a little over an hour.” They’d been driving around thirty minutes already. “You can ask me questions, too, if you’d like.”
“How many women have you dated?”
Obviously payback for his questions.
“Since starting college, I’ve had four girlfriends, none of them very serious, or at least not very long. Before college, well, that shouldn’t count.”
“How many before college?”
“Twelve.”
“Twelve?” She almost choked. If their difference in age didn’t make her feel like a child, her lack of experience did. “Were you in love with any of them?”
He inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “There was one I thought I loved; but I was foolish. So, no, I wasn’t in love with any of them.” He was curious when her hands began fidgeting again.
“Evelyn,” he coaxed after a period of silence. “What is it you want to know?”
“What was she like?”
Poison, he thought. “Much like your friend Sarah. She enjoyed seducing men, and when she decided she wanted me, I wasn’t strong enough then to resist.”
There was such shame and bitterness in the way he spoke about this woman. But she could understand. She knew Sarah.
She also knew Sarah was like Tom in what she wanted from a relationship.
“Sarah tends to leave a trail of broken hearts,” she commented. “If your woman is truly like her…” She paused, not knowing if her words were appropriate.
Jackson smiled a self-conscious smile. “Thanks, I think? Do you mind if I ask some more questions?”
“Sure,” she answered, “But I have one more for you first. What were you and your dad talking about during breakfast? He seemed upset and I couldn’t help feel that I had something to do with it.”
“Well, we were discussing the New Year’s Ball, if you must know.” It was true; they had spoken, briefly, about the ball.
Thank goodness, she thought. She could relax. She had worried all day that she had upset Charles and was glad to know it had to do with something completely unrelated to her. “Okay, go ahead, ask your questions.”
“What’s your favorite color?”
“That’s easy, green.”
“What’s your favorite food?”
“Chocolate chip peanut butter cookies and French toast are pretty high on my list. But always fresh fruit. Growing up, any fruit we had was canned, so fresh still tastes like a luxury to me.”
“Really?”
Evelyn nodded, looking as if growing up with no fresh fruit was the most normal thing in the world.
“Okay, one more question and you’ll be off the hook for today. Will you go to the New Year’s Ball with me?”
Evelyn’s lips turned into a tight frown. “It’s not nice to tease, Jackson.”
“I’m not sure if I should be offended or not. I’m really asking you to the ball. I’m not teasing you.”
“Is this what you and your father were talking about? Did he tell you to ask me, because your mother wants me to go? I should have told her not to say anything to your father either.”
“No! We did talk about me taking you, and he was frustrated that I hadn’t asked you, but only because I was assuming you knew I wanted you to go with me. He said you didn’t have the slightest idea about it; I can see he was right. If you don’t want to go with me, just say so. But don’t act like I’m the one not wanting you to go.” This wasn’t going how he thought it would. Evelyn had a way of making it hard to think, and hard to say what he meant. It appeared that she was as unaware of his feelings as his father suggested.
“I’m so sorry, Jackson. I’m not sure why you’re upset,” she stuttered in sincere concern. “I’m so confused…Isn’t there someone else you’d rather go with?”
“Don’t you think if there was someone else, you would have heard about her by now?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Is that the kind of thing we’d talk about?”
“Oh, Evelyn,” he laughed, moving to her side and scooping her into a hug. “Please forgive me for being a jerk. I honestly want to go with you, and only you. Please, please say you’ll go with me?”
She was stone in his arms for a long moment before he felt her sigh, her body relaxing against his.
“I’ll go with you on one condition,” she said, playfully smiling up at him as he loosened his hold on her. “I’ll go if you have a date for Bekah, too. She really wants to go…” She could easily find her own date, Evelyn thought, “and it’d be nice to have her with us…with me.” She bit her bottom lip as she waited for his answer.
That was easy enough. George had been asking about her since he found out Jackson knew her. “You have a deal,” he said, releasing her and moving over just enough to be respectful. “But, if I said I couldn’t, would you really not go with me?”
“Of course, I’d still go.” Her smile was radiant. “I’m really excited. A lot of girls are going to hate me after this.”
He delighted in her happiness. “You’re excited that a lot of girls are going to hate you?”
“No!” A giggle escaped her. “I’m so excited to go. With you. But a lot of girls are going to hate me for going with you…oh goodness,” she went a bit pale. “I’m going to be hated by the entire school; maybe the whole city.”
His laugh rang through the car. “They’re not all going to hate you.”
“I’m quite serious. Every unattached female is going to despise me for getting to go with you, instead of them getting to go with you. Then everyone thinks I…you know…with Tom, so of course no one will think I deserve to go with you. Of course, really, they’re right about that, but not for those reasons. I’m not even certain Bekah won’t loathe me for this! You should have heard her when she found out I kissed you! She actually asked if I thought you could ‘misunderstand her?’ Because that’s what I told her, that it was all just a big misunderstanding. It’s a good thing I’m graduating in the spring…I might have to move after this!” Evelyn paused finally to breathe. “Sorry…I’m rambling.”
There were only two things he really heard her say in all of that: the first, that s
he said she kissed him; it was the first time she didn’t say he was the one who kissed her. The second, that she was graduating in the spring.
“You’re only twenty years old. How do you have only one semester left?”
Alluring was not the look she meant to give, but it’s the one he received. “I worked very hard…and I’m a genius.” Her face cracked. “I started when I was sixteen. The Head Madame at my home had me take some tests and recommended me for an early-start program. I think it came down to money. It was cheaper for them to put me in school and let me start working than to keep me in the home.”
That wasn’t true. Jackson knew those programs were incredibly difficult to get into. You had to be extraordinarily smart and show overwhelming evidence that you could live responsibly away from your parents, or in her case, her orphanage. “What are you planning on doing after you graduate?”
“I’m not entirely sure, to be honest. I’ve been putting off any decisions until after this semester is over. I’ve been thinking I’d like to stay on at the library, but I don’t know if I would be able to afford to work there once I’m not in campus housing. How much longer until you’re finished?”
“This is my last semester,” he answered while thinking over her words. “I’ll be staying in Syracuse, though, with my job; unless they were to transfer me somewhere else. But the way things are, I don’t see them doing that.” He didn’t want to mention the rising crime. He was still hoping against the odds that they were just random incidents.
They were back in Syracuse now. Evelyn only noticed the fact when she spotted her mother’s cemetery. That was a topic she would not be bringing up, at least not today.
Unspoken Words (Hope and a Future Book 1) Page 17