Desires, Sweets, Secrets

by Kyle Autumn

  “Your plan backfired, bro,” I tell him as Aidan walks out the door. “He’s cool though. I could use more friends in this town. So thanks.”

  “Yeah, no problem.” He dips a fry into his ketchup and eats it.

  I watch him for a second, unsure how to phrase what else I want to say. But Dr. Setts would tell me to just say it no matter how it comes out so I can get it off my chest. So I do.

  “And,” I start hesitantly, “thanks for everything you said. And did.” Then I gulp before sipping my water to hide the action.

  He releases a deep breath and drops the fry he was about to eat. “Listen, whatever’s going on with you and Dani’s boss… Just don’t let it come back on her, okay? She doesn’t need that.”

  I bob my head, keeping it dipped low so I don’t have to look at him right now. “I know, man. I know. I asked her about that and she said she wouldn’t do that to Dani. But…”

  “But what?” he prods, scooting his chair in.

  I exhale deeply, leaning an elbow on the table and leaning back. “But it just feels different. And I let it go further than I have with any other woman since…” I trail off, not wanting to ever say her name out loud again. “Well, you know.”

  “Does that mean…” He gestures for me to go on.

  “Yeah,” I confirm. “We slept together.” Then I rush to add, “But don’t fucking tell Dani, okay? I’m not trying to hurt her or anything, and I wasn’t before, either. But she’s super worried and I don’t want to do that to her again. I just…”

  “Couldn’t help it?” he finishes for me.

  “I’m drawn to her, Matt. It doesn’t help that she’s right next door. Single. Sexy as fuck.” I have to chuckle at how ridiculous I sound, but it’s all true, and it feels good to talk about it. “And she’s just as into me.”

  He stares at me for a moment. Then he raises an eyebrow. “Can I say something you might hate?”

  I lift one back at him. “My lack of permission won’t stop you, so feel free.”

  He sets his elbows on the table and clasps his hands. “Maybe I’m wrong, but this sounds exactly like what happened back then.” Before I can cut in to tell him how ridiculous that is, he continues. “Now, hear me out. You’re feeling pulled toward an older woman—”

  “Okay, no.” I shake my head. “Not even close.”

  “I get that she’s not that much older than you are, but she’s still older. Running a business, living in her own home…” He picks his fork up and scoops up some of his lunch. “Anyway, she’s someone Dani’s close to and this could cause her some serious harm. Dani’s older now and it wouldn’t be as big of a deal, but she just got her first job and she’s living with you part time. Are you sure you want to chance this again?”

  “First of all,” I say, raising one finger, “Meli’s not married. That helps. She’s also not twice my age, which also helps. She’s not actively seducing me, either. I had to be the one to put it out there.” With a whole lot of memories I don’t want anymore swirling around my brain, I raise a fourth finger. “And I’m a lot older now. I know what I’m getting into. I can make these decisions and understand the consequences, not get wrapped up in the physical or emotional feel of it as much.”

  Matt takes a deep breath and digs his credit card out of his wallet. “Look. All I’m saying is be careful. You’ve already crossed over the line by sleeping with her. Don’t get Dani hurt in the crossfire, okay? She probably won’t forgive you this time.”

  As he hands the check and his card over to the waitress, I take a moment to think about his words. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before—or thought myself. But things with Meli are different. My life is different too. It only so happens that she’s connected to Dani. I won’t let Dani get hurt though. Not this time.

  Except I don’t think I’m that worried about Dani. After Meli’s reaction the other day when we finally acted on our feelings, it doesn’t seem like I should be worried about Dani at all.

  I should probably be worried about myself instead.

  ∞∞∞

  Amelia

  When Danielle takes off after the day’s work, I can breathe again. It’s taken everything in me not to act awkward these last four days whenever I’ve seen her. And I see her a lot, seeing as she basically runs this place with me now. She’s fabulous with customers and manages to stay off her phone most of the day.

  But none of that changes the fact that I slept with her brother and she can’t know.

  I only get to breathe for ten minutes though, because my sister, Gerald, and Jacob walk in the door at the same time while I’m making the last pot of coffee for the day.

  “Hey!” my sister says loud enough that the whole bakery hears her. “Look who I ran into outside?” She points behind her, her purse hanging in the crook of her elbow.

  “Hey, guys.” I wave everyone over to the counter. “Where’s Aria today?”

  They all take a seat, Cass dropping into a stool while the guys take a more sophisticated approach.

  “I left her with Derek,” she explains. “I stay home with her all day while he works, so the least I get is a break that involves adults and baked goods.” She holds out her palm to me. “I’ll take one of whatever you have. I don’t even care if it’s lemon flavored. I just need sugar and gluten.”

  I chuckle while I snag the last chocolate chocolate chip muffin out of the display case. “I must have saved this one just for you,” I say as I plate it and slide it over.

  She eagerly unwraps the treat before taking a wild bite and humming her approval.

  My smile doesn’t die down as I ask, “Boys, what can I get you?”

  They both hold hands in the air as if to say no, thanks.

  “Nothing for me, but thank you,” Jacob says.

  Gerald sets his hand down on the counter. “Actually, I’ll take some of that coffee when it’s ready.”

  “Gotta long night coming up?” I ask him, taking a coffee cup down from the rack.

  He looks like he wants to deny it, but he can’t seem to stop the smile curving his lips, so he doesn’t. “Maybe. I guess we’ll see.”

  “Ooh, Gerald!” Cass tries to tease—tries because her mouth is full of muffin. “Do you have a girlfriend we don’t know about?”

  Gerald waves a dismissive hand at us. “None of that is important. What’s important is letting you know that Jacob’s pretty much up to speed and fully capable of taking things over for me at the end of the month.”

  With a rag, I wipe the counter down while I’m standing here. “So we have you for two more weeks?”

  “That you do.” He nods as the coffee pot dings.

  I pour his cup and bring it to him. Then, to Jacob, I say, “So, what do you think? He says you’re capable, but you think you can handle it?” I give him a reassuring wink to let him know I’m teasing. If I knew how to do it all, I’m sure I would, but I’d rather leave it to a professional.

  “Accounting is my specialty. I think we’ll do just fine,” he says kindly.

  “Great!” I throw the rag over my shoulder. “I’m sure it’ll be a smooth transition. Though”—I cover Gerald’s hand with mine—“I’ll be sad to see you go, Gerald.”

  “It’s time, Amelia.” He places his hand on top of mine and smiles.

  “I know. But still.” I give his hand a squeeze before taking mine back. “Seems like the end of an era, you know?”

  My sister chimes in now that her mouth isn’t full and her muffin is gone. “The end of an era was when you took over for Grandma.” She brushes the crumbs off her hands. “Speaking of, she’ll be back from her trip this weekend. I’m sure she’ll want to meet Jacob.” After a pause, she says, “And Danielle.” Then she pointedly stares at me. “And Jere—”

  “Yeah! Jacob! You’ll have to meet our grandma,” I tell him excitedly, my eyes probably too wide. “Yeah, that’s a great idea. The woman behind the business. She’s the one who started this bakery.” I know I’m rambling, but I can�
��t stop. Otherwise, my sister might start talking about things I don’t want to discuss. “And she handed it down to me because—”

  “Hey, Amelia?” Cass reaches over the counter to touch my arm. “You’re scaring the last customer in the shop, sweetie.”

  Jacob rises from his stool and pushes it under the counter. “I’d love to meet her,” he says. “But, for now, I’m off. Gotta get home, but let me know when you set that meeting up. Thanks, ladies. And Gerald.” He extends his hand to shake Gerald’s. “Bye now.”

  Gerald sets his coffee cup down as the bell over the door announces Jacob’s exit. “You know, I should probably head home too.”

  “So soon?” I ask. “You only drank half of your coffee. Want a to-go cup?”

  “Thanks, but no,” he says as he gets up. “Tell your grandma I said hi when you see her though, okay?”

  “Oh, you should be there too,” Cass tells him, swiveling on her stool to face the two of us. “You can introduce Jacob.”

  That same smile he couldn’t help before dances on his lips sooner than he can mask it, and I wonder what he’s trying to hide.

  “We’ll see,” he says, turning toward the door. “Let me know when you want to do that.”

  “Bye!” Cass and I say at the same time.

  Before he exits the bakery, he says, “Bye, girls.”

  Even the last customer heads out the door with a, “Thank you for the cookies and quiet computer time.”

  And then it’s just me and Cass. Me and the one person who’ll do anything for juicy, gossipy information about my dating life. Or lack thereof. Or…whatever the hell it is. Sigh.

  “Finally!” she shouts as she runs to the door to lock it and flip the closed sign over.

  “Uh, it’s not closing time,” I remind her on her way back.

  “You can reopen when we’re done.” She releases a deep exhale as she plops onto a stool again. “But, for right now, I need some sister time.”

  “I know what that means,” I say, taking my apron off. Then I push the door to the kitchen open. “It’s not happening.”

  Much to my dismay, she follows me through it. “Come on! Danielle’s not here, so tell me all about what’s going on with you and lover boy.”

  I freeze, my arm up in the air as I reach for a cupcake box. “Ew.” Bringing the box down, I say, “Don’t call him that. Why would you call him that?”

  “Um, because that’s what he is?” she says, though it sounds like a question. But she continues when I don’t answer her and pushes herself up onto the counter to sit. “Because this is what you do. You take on…lovers.”

  I was about to grab a cupcake to put into the box. This special order needs to be filled before the customer shows up—to a locked-and-closed bakery—to pick it up in an hour. But nothing is going to get done if my sister keeps saying weird stuff like this.

  “No, I don’t. That’s not what I do,” I insist, unfreezing and putting the cupcakes in the box.

  “Really?” she asks, a teasing tone dripping from the single word. “Then name one guy you actually dated, not just slept with, since Danny.”

  His name strikes a match that lights a fire in my gut. I’ve thought I just needed time, but isn’t three years enough time to move on? I don’t know, and I don’t want to think about it, so I focus on Cass’s question.

  Yet I come up completely short. Not one name comes to mind. But I should have known that. No one’s even come close to Danny, though I shouldn’t be comparing. It wouldn’t matter anyway. The fact of the matter is Cass is right, even though I hate to say it.

  “I can’t,” I admit solemnly. “It’s not right.” Then I place the last cupcake into the box only to realize I ruined two of them while boxing them. So I sigh and tip my head back, staring at the ceiling. And, well, trying not to cry. I want to tell her about the phone calls I’ve been ignoring, but that’ll open up a whole other can of worms I don’t feel like dealing with right now, either. So I don’t.

  “Hey.” Cass jumps off the counter and puts her hand on my back. “I’m not saying you won’t get through it. I’m just saying—”

  “I know what you’re saying.” I take the two ruined cupcakes out of the box and hand one to her. Then I unwrap the other one and take a bite. Around a mouthful, I tell her, “I slept with him.”

  “And?” she asks, a bite of cupcake all over her teeth.

  That makes me laugh, which also makes me tell the truth. “And he seemed a little out of practice, which seemed weird, but still—I loved it. And I want to do it again.”

  “Well, that’s a step in the right direction.” My sister finishes her cupcake and wads the wrapper up in her hands. “But?”

  I let another long sigh. “But I cried over Danny when we were done.”

  Her hands pause in midair. “What did he do? Did you tell him that’s why you were crying?”

  Shaking my head, I pick off a piece of cupcake and pop it into my mouth. As soon as I finish remaking the other two, the customer is going to love these. They’re damn good.

  “I didn’t say much,” I tell her. “He thought he hurt me or something, but I told him he didn’t. And, now, we haven’t spoken in four days.”

  “Maybe he’s busy?” She shrugs like she knows that’s probably a lame answer, but still.

  “I don’t know.” I hold my hand out for her wrapper, which she gives me, and then I throw them away. “When I left him, I told him I wasn’t ready.”

  She raises her eyebrows at me. “Oh, well, that explains it. You sent him packing, Amelia. What did you expect?”

  I shake my head again. “Okay, but he said he’d wait until I was.”

  “So you need to reach out to him.” My sister peeks inside the box. “Got any more of those?”

  Pulling the lid down, I tell her, “You’re gonna die of a sugar overdose if you eat anything else in here.”

  “Don’t change the subject.”

  “Fine!” I huff out, a little exasperated. All of this is more than I’m used to, and the emotions are overwhelming without my sister telling me how to handle them. “I’ll reach out to him.”

  “Good!” She smacks her hands together. “Looks like my work is done for the day. I’ll see myself out.”

  “So you just eat the damaged goods, manage my love life, and leave?” I tease. “I see how it is.”

  “Damn skippy. Back to the train wreck that is raising your niece.” With her back against the door, she says, “If you ever want to pay me back for all the help I provide you, I’ll gladly consider babysitting currency.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I wave her out of my kitchen. “See you later!”

  She disappears before I can see if she does anything else. But it’s probably better that I don’t see it. She might get me to agree to more stuff I’m not ready for.

  Or maybe I am? The idea of sleeping with him again is beyond tempting. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that there’s zero chance that it won’t happen again. But actual dating? Can I picture that? Dinner with Jeremy? A movie? Maybe dancing? Does he dance? Or maybe he’s one of those people who hates movies too. God, what if—

  Ah, ah, ah. Nope. My sister would tell me that I’d find all of that out if I were to date him. Or at least have a conversation with him that is free of the previous false assumptions we both had. But not free of clothes. For at least this one time.

  With a deep, cleansing breath, I get started on remaking the two cupcakes I messed up and come to the conclusion that, yes, I am ready to date.

  As long as it’s with Jeremy.

  Chapter 9

  Jeremy

  I really need to start mowing the lawn in the morning on my day off. The summer heat is no fucking joke. I took my shirt off, but that just means more skin exposed to the sun, which probably wasn’t my best idea. But, when Meli pulls into her driveway and almost hits her garage door with her car while she stares at me, I rethink my position on the matter.

  I will always mow the lawn at this tim
e on Wednesday afternoons with my shirt off.

  If that’s the reaction I’m going to get when I do that, I’ll always do it. Sunburn be damned.

  I finish up the last section of her lawn as she races out of her vehicle and smooths her clothes down. She’s in a cute skirt and a button-up shirt that accentuates her curves—all of those curves I’ve seen naked and in all of their glory. But they won’t make me forget what almost just happened, and I chuckle as she approaches me.

  “You didn’t have to mow my lawn,” she says a few feet away from me. “I told you I’d fix my mower.”

  “I know what you told me.” I start pushing the mower over to my garage. “Doesn’t mean I can’t help in the meantime,” I tell her over my shoulder. When I sneak a peek behind me, she’s focused very intently on my back. My sweaty, bare back. And I take that as a good sign. “Have a good day at the bakery?”

  She skips to catch up behind me while I put the mower away. “I did, thanks. Danielle was amazing as always.” When she pauses, she twirls her hair with a finger. “But then my sister came by and helped me find some”—she hesitates for a second and then finds the right word—“clarity.”

  “Is that so?” I ask, taking my shirt out of my back pocket and wiping my forehead with it. I approach her, and when I’m a couple of feet away, I stop, laughing on the inside because her gaze is on my chest. My sweaty, bare chest. Not that I mind. “What kind of clarity did you find?”

  She clears her throat and zips her eyes up to mine. “Well. For starters. Um.” She blinks a few times, doing her damnedest to keep her gaze focused on my eyes. “What was the question?”

  “I’m not even sure I remember anymore,” I laugh. “Are you okay?”

  Coughing into her hand, she nods. “Oh yeah. I’m fine. Just had a long day. I messed up a couple of cupcakes for a special order, so I had to remake them, but I ate one of the ones I ruined and the sugar seems to be getting to me now.” That came out in what seemed like one breath.

  I touch her arm and dip my head, keeping her gaze on mine. “Breathing would be a good start to getting through that.”