“Is that what you fear?”
I nod my head and cast my eyes downward. Luca lifts my chin up and gazes into my eyes. I want to look away as the tears build, but he won’t let me.
“I am like you, Londyn. I don’t have a boodle and I don’t daydream, but I am a thinker. Do you know how many days I spent watching you at work, wishing I had the nerve to walk across that office and kiss you like I wanted to?”
I shake my head.
“Oh, well then, you probably aren’t aware of how many nights I laid in this bed staring at the ceiling wondering what you were doing. You likely didn’t know that the only reason I wanted to read your boodle is to know if you shared my affection. Perhaps you didn’t know that I’ve softened up on numerous students so as not to disappoint you. I know you don’t know that I confided in my closest friends the night of the almost kiss, asking them how I could win you over. I’m sure it never dawned on you that I have spent hours upon hours wondering what your lips would feel like on mine or how amazing it would be for my skin to come into contact with yours.”
My hearts beats hard in my chest. I am astounded to hear all these things. He is correct. I had no idea.
“Do you remember the evening I called you and told you I misdialed?”
I nod.
“That wasn’t true. I was in so much pain and sadness at that moment and yours was the voice I needed to hear. I didn’t know what to say, but I knew it was you whose voice would soothe me.”
“Oh, Luca.”
“Londyn, I don’t know exactly when I started to love you, but let me be as clear as I can be. I know, without a doubt, that you have completely captured my heart and I willingly submit to your allure. I am not a spontaneous person. There is nothing about my intentions towards you that is impulsive. You are an angel who was sent here to save me. My angel. I assure you that everything I say to you is well thought out and said with conviction. I never want you to not be wherever I am. I want to wake up every morning and see your sweet face. I want to make love to you every night. When I look in your eyes and kiss your lips…” He looks down at our entwined hands, his voice cracking.
“Luca?”
“Londyn, when I do those things, I feel my new destiny. Teaching is my job. You are my life.”
“Luca,” I start, but stop when his lips press down on mine. I am pulled into his arms as we lie back down.
“So when I say I will marry you, I mean it. Do you understand that now?”
“Yes,” I say, nodding.
“Are you still scared?”
“Not at all.”
Luca kisses the top of my head. “Good.”
We lie this way for several minutes. Neither of us wants to move, but we have to.
“We have to go to work,” I say. “You have meetings today.”
“I know. Shower with me?”
“Yes.”
Luca rolls over out of bed and pulls me with him. He smiles and wraps his arms around me, kissing my neck.
“There is one more thing you don’t know,” he says.
“What’s that?”
“How many hard-ons you caused that I had to hide from you.” Luca laughs and although I am blushing now, I laugh too.
“I definitely did not know that. I assure you if there was a female equivalent, I had the same problem.”
We walk into the bathroom and Luca starts the shower, whilst I brush my teeth. I feel comfortable here, as though I was always meant to be. Perhaps I was.
Stepping into the shower, I stand beneath the hot spray of water, thinking about how incredible Luca is. He can be so intense and passionate, yet equally vulnerable and fragile. It’s a heady combination. Luca steps in behind me, and taking the soap, begins to wash my back for me. His hands gently knead my shoulder and neck muscles whilst gliding over my suddenly aroused skin. Oh, it’s a wonder how I’ll survive the day without his constant touch. When we make contact with each other, it’s as though a lost part of me is suddenly found. I don’t know if there could be a more comforting feeling than that.
“What are you thinking, angel,” Luca whispers, as his hands slide down my sides and settle on my hips.
“How lovely it is to be in your arms.”
“Mmm, I couldn’t agree more. It’s a shame I must release you shortly.”
“Only temporarily.”
“Definitely.”
I twist around in his arm and flash a cheeky grin. “We have time for a bit of morning nookie, don’t we?”
“Nookie?” Luca asks, laughing.
“A bit of a shag, whatever you want to call it. I need you.” I reach down between his legs and stroke the building erection waiting for me there.
“A bit of a shag? I like that,” he says, pressing me against the tiled wall behind me. “You’re sure you aren’t too sore?”
“I’m fine.”
Leaning forward he kisses my neck, then my lips. “Thank God.” Luca reaches down and lifts my leg, wrapping it around his waist. His hand rubs gently, then slightly firmer between my legs, preparing me for what is coming next. I hold my breath and wait.
“Is this what you want?” Luca asks, rubbing the tip of his cock against my opening.
“Mmm hmm, yes. Very much so.”
“How much?”
“Ooh, Luca, you tease. I want it very badly. I can’t concentrate until I get it.”
“Get what, my love?” he asks, grinning.
“You want me to talk dirty this morning?”
“More than anything.”
I tilt my hips forward just a bit and smile. “Luca, I’m craving a bit of cock this morning. Your glorious cock. Please, I beg you to enter me.”
“Ah, a touch of proper with your smut talk? That’s even sexier. You’re a little minx.”
“I’m two seconds away from taking you forcibly, sir. Now get on with it!” I laugh, but then stop suddenly when Luca’s hands tangle in my hair and pull my head back slightly. He leans forward, his face so close to mine I almost have to look away.
“You are perfect for me, Londyn. Do you understand that? Everything about you.” He enters me and I hold my breath, relishing the sudden fullness deep within me. Luca doesn’t move for a moment, as our mouths combine in a passionate kiss. Slowly, he moves in and out of me and my body welcomes him, embraces him, and melts leisurely from the hot passion searing through my insides.
He pulls back, smiling, then proceeds to slam into me. “I love you, Londyn, so much. You are my fucking dream woman.” My other leg is lifted, bringing me completely off the floor, as Luca continues to dominate my body. “You are perfect for me.”
I brace myself by holding onto his shoulders. I want to tell him how perfect he is for me too. I need him to know what he is doing for me. His love is changing my entire perspective. Instead, I lie back against the wall, getting the bloody hell fucked out of me. I reach down and rub my own clit to help the process along.
“Mmm, Londyn, you feel so good. So good. Fuck, I’m gonna come soon.”
“Fill me up with it. My body is yours.”
“Yes, mine,” he pants against my neck as his fingers claw my flesh.
“All yours, Luca. I belong to you.”
Luca pulls back and stares into my eyes before a smile begins to spread slowly across his lips. He grasps my chin and kisses me hard, his cock digging even deeper inside me. His intensity increases and he pounds so hard into me, I fear for a moment we might bust through the wall behind us. My orgasm builds deep within me as I grind against him. When it hits, I cry out his name as I’m struck repeatedly by waves of ecstasy. I open my eyes to see Luca still staring at me. He says nothing as his body tenses against me. A groan escapes his lips as he releases into me. His mouth finds mine again and we kiss as our bodies come back down from this intense high.
Slowly my feet find the ground again, but Luca doesn’t release me. He leans against me, our bodies pressed against the wall.
“Luca?” I ask, quietly.
He still doesn’t move, but holds me a little tighter. His hands stroke my hair, but he is otherwise motionless. The water begins to cool and still he doesn’t budge. I hold him tightly to me, unsure of his emotions. Finally, he pulls back and runs his hand over my cheek.
“Londyn…”
“What is it?”
Luca shakes his head and turns around to shut the water off. We step out of the shower and I can’t take my eyes off of him as he hands me a towel. Walking back into the bedroom, I sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to speak.
“Are you alright?” I ask.
“I think the immensity of this love just hit me. I was overtaken for a few moments by how much I love you and how much I realize you love me. Your words in the shower pushed me over the edge. I know that you would do anything to make me happy. You must know that I would do the same for you.”
“I do know, Luca.”
“Good.” He walks towards me and smiles, planting a soft kiss on my forehead. “I just never expected to feel like this. I never thought I would be happy again or feel love and want to see the future. You have given me so much. You have no idea.”
“It fills me with immense pleasure to know that I make you happy.”
“I only seek to return the feeling.”
“You already have.” We quietly dress, the silence between us comforting and natural. Luca plays his selection of moving classical music as we complete our morning routine. I pull on my boots, as Luca disappears from the bedroom. He returns moments later with a small box in his hand.
“Come into the living room with me,” he says.
“Yes, of course.”
We walk out to the main room and sit on the sofa. Luca takes a deep breath and then looks up at me with his warm honey colored eyes.
“In this box are the remnants of my life with Sara. The anniversary of her death is fast approaching and I think I need to do something with these items. I want to put the past behind me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe we can bury them or something.”
“Luca, why would you even consider that? Those memories are precious.”
“I don’t want to look back and be reminded of it anymore.”
“I have an idea. Do you trust me?”
“With my life, Londyn.”
“Good. Tonight, I’ll return. You will show me everything in that box and tell me all about it. Then we’ll package it up in a nice box and we’ll put it in your attic.”
“I don’t need it anymore.”
“Luca,” I reach over and take his hand. “Sara will always be a part of you whether you keep the physical evidence or not. It would break my heart for you to let go of those items. You can put them in a place out of sight without ridding yourself of them all together. I fear you would regret it someday.”
“Do you think?”
“I do.” I brush his cheek with my fingers. “Is this how you thought you should say goodbye?”
Luca nods.
“Why don’t we go see her?”
“Would you do that with me?”
“I would. I’d be honored, in fact.”
Luca lowers his head. “Okay. We’ll go after work tonight.”
“Then it’s settled. Besides, I want to. I owe her my thanks, too, for helping you open up to me.”
“You’re amazing, you know that?”
“I must be to have earned your affection.”
Luca lifts my hand and kisses the back of it. “Shall we go now?”
“Yes. How should we handle arriving to work at the same time?”
Luca shakes his head softly. “I don’t give a damn. Let them talk. I plan to deal with it very soon.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Talk to a trusted colleague and hope for the best.”
“If you think that’s best.”
“I do. I was nervous about it yesterday, but today I’m filled with such clarity about what I want for the future.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“You’re wonderful.” He stands and walks to the door as I quickly follow. Turning to face me, he wraps my scarf around my neck and kisses my nose. “Ready?”
“For anything.”
We step out into the cold Boston morning and begin our short walk to campus. I wish I could reach out and hold his hand, but I keep a reasonable distance. It’s absolutely mind blowing to me what has developed between us. Not only the physical piece, but we’re in love and Luca speaks of marriage. How this happened is a complete mystery to me. A joyous, beautiful mystery.
“What are you thinking about, angel?” Luca asks sweetly as we make our way down the street.
“What am I not thinking about? So much has happened between us.”
“So much more will. We’re just beginning this love story.”
I tilt my head up at him and smile. “I like that you call it a story. As though it’s unfolding each day. It’s an empty book with blank pages that we fill with each new moment.”
“Yes.” He looks down for a moment. “You should let me read some of your writing now.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. Compared to what you’ve written, it’s hardly compelling.”
“Since you downplay all of your accomplishments, I expect that isn’t how I will feel at all. Will you consider it?”
“Yes, of course,” I reply softly.
“Good.”
“I have a question for you.”
“Yes?”
“The music you listened to in the morning, before classes started, it always made you seem so sad. Were you?”
Luca glances down. “You noticed that?” I nod my head. “Yes, very sad, but also very comforted. Sara and I were huge music lovers. Our first kiss happened in her attic listening to her grandfather’s old, scratched records on a turntable. Nessun Dorma was her favorite. We listened to it while we studied.”
“I wished that I knew what that song was. It was so beautiful and haunting, and I wanted to impress you. It was my first day.”
“I remember. I wish you could have seen the look on your face when I found you in the hall. You looked so peaceful, as swept up by the music as I was. I was embarrassed that you almost caught me in a private moment.”
“I did. I saw you when I peeked in the door. That’s why I stayed in the hall. I didn’t want to break that moment for you.”
“You’ve always been looking out for me, haven’t you?”
“Since day one.”
We turn the corner and approach Harvard. I wonder whom he is going to talk to about us. To my knowledge, he only regularly talks with Professor Lance. If it’s her, I do hope she will keep his confidences. I know Luca wants this news to come out his way. Perhaps it would be better if we waited until winter break.
“I was thinking…” I begin.
“Yes?”
“Perhaps you should wait to talk about our relationship until winter break. We’re so close now and there is so much work that needs to be done. No sense in distracting everyone with our personal life.”
“Would you prefer that?”
“It feels like it would be best.”
Luca nods. “You are likely right. Let’s finish this semester out and then we’ll work it out.”
We walk up the stairs to our building and Luca opens the door for me. I pass him and hear him inhale deeply.
“You smell lovely,” he whispers.
“Thank you,” I whisper back.
We ascend the stairs quietly and head into the office. As usual, we are here before others have arrived and we both set out to do our morning tasks. My eyes shift up to glance at my handsome professor and my cheeks blush when I realize he is already looking at me.
“I do adore when you look at me,” Luca says, smiling. “I used to sit here and try to will you to look at me and when you did my heart would race.”
“It still amazes me to think you harbored such feelings for me.”
“T
hat feeling is mutual.”
“Oh, Luca, I am positive there are throngs of women madly infatuated with you and I was just one of many. You are a breathtaking man in so many ways.”
“You flatter me, deeply. I’m an ass and I have no idea how to love a woman, but I assure you I will learn.”
“You are mistaken about that, Professor. You know exactly how to love this woman.”
I’m rewarded with a warm, loving smile before our morning chat is interrupted by a knock on the door. Luca looks up and, smiling, gestures for someone to enter. I glance over to see Professor Lance come in.
“Ah, good morning, Professor and Miss Harper,” she says. “Terribly cold morning today.” She rubs hers arms as though she is trying to warm herself.
“I was about to get a cup of tea. Would you like one as well, Professor Lance?” I offer.
“Oh, that’s kind of you, Londyn, but no. I’ve had two cups of coffee already today. I’ll be climbing the walls if I have any more caffeine.” She laughs softly and flips her long white hair off her shoulder.
“If you’ll excuse me,” I mutter as I squeeze past Professor Lance. I glance back at Luca and offer a wink.
Once inside the break room, I set about preparing two cups of tea. Just as I’m finishing adding the honey, Ella walks in.
“Hey there, Ella.”
“Hey. How was your night?”
“Pretty good. How was the concert?”
“It was good. I lured a friend to go with me.”
“Oh, that’s good. Were you out late?” I ask, stirring my tea.
“Yeah, wicked late, but I’m used to staying up. I can’t wait for Dixon to get back to town.”
“So things are going well there?”
“Yes, I think so. He’s so sweet.”
“He seems nice.”
Ella leans against the counter next to us sipping a cup of coffee. “Anything happening for you on the dating front? What about Luca’s hottie brother?”
“Oh, no,” I laugh nervously. “We’re just friends. He has a girlfriend.”
“So no boyfriend?”
I have no idea how to answer. If I say yes, she may pry. If I say no, she’ll know some day that I lied to her. This is quite a dilemma.
“I date a bit, but no news to report.” That’s a reasonable answer, I think.
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