“I’m honored. Just tell me what you need from me.”
“I will.”
Luca pauses and I look past him to see the tombstone embossed with her name. Sara Ann Saxton. Loving daughter, sister, and wife to be. Forever in our hearts. Forever missed. June 21, 1983-December 24, 2004.
We approach slowly and Luca brushes the snow from a spot near the grave. We sit, even though it’s terribly cold and dark out here.
“Well, here we are,” Luca says.
“Yes. What do you normally do when you come here?”
“I talk to her.”
“About?”
“What’s happening in my life.” He glances down. “I talk to her like she’s here.”
“That’s okay. I’m sure she can hear you.”
“Do you think so?”
“I do.” I take his hand. “Why don’t you do that now? Just talk to her and tell her why we came.”
He nods. “We came here to see you, Sara. I wanted you to know that I’ve let Londyn in.” He pauses and takes a deep breath. “I want to thank you for giving me your blessing and for letting me know you’re okay where you are.”
We sit quietly for a few minutes and then I lean my head against his shoulder. “What did you do with her engagement ring?”
“Put it on her. She was buried with it.”
“Oh.” I squeeze his hand. “Can I talk to her for a minute alone?”
“Yes, of course.”
Luca stands and walks away, looking back at me. I’ve never spoken to a deceased person before, but if she really can hear me, I want her to know that Luca is safe with me.
“Hi, Sara. I just want you to know that I appreciate how you’ve watched over Luca all these years. It must have been terribly difficult for you to see him so sad and not be able to do anything.” I play with the grass beneath me and pull some away from her tombstone. “I feel like somehow you helped us find each other and for that, I am forever grateful. I promise you I will take care of him. I will protect his heart and I will do everything I can to make him happy.” I say a short prayer that Sara’s soul may rest in peace. When I look up, Luca is standing nearby, smiling sweetly at me. I stand and walk towards him.
“You should talk to her alone now. I don’t mind.”
“Thank you.”
I step away and watch as Luca takes his place beside Sara. He talks quietly for several minutes and then leans his forehead against the granite stone. He says something else as he stands and rubs the grave one more time. It’s a very poignant moment and I am more than a little curious about what he said. He looks up and motions for me to join him.
“Are you ready to go?” he asks. “It’s very cold out here.”
“I am. Are you?”
He looks back one more time. “I am.”
We walk back down the gravel-covered path until we reach the pavement. As we pass the many shops and restaurants back to his house, Luca is quiet, clearly lost in his own thoughts. We arrive at his house and I stand back as he unlocks the door. As soon as we step inside, he pulls me into his arms and kisses me, our cold faces quickly warming from our embrace. Luca’s hands climb my body and tangle in my hair as he holds me so close, I simply can’t move.
“Thank you, Londyn,” he whispers as he kisses my neck. “Thank you for being there with me tonight and for being in my life. You are amazing.”
“What did I do?”
“You did everything. I’m free now. I know it. I needed this very much.”
“What did you say to her?”
“I’m going to tell you. Let’s get comfortable first.” He pulls my coat off me and hangs it up before removing his own. “I’ll make some tea. Wait for me in the study.”
“Okay.” I walk down the hall to my favorite place and sink down in the best spot in the house. Luca arrives moments later and hands me a steaming cup of tea. I take a sip and tuck my cold feet beneath me. Luca sits on the ottoman.
“It was amazing,” he starts. “Every time I go there, I feel so much sadness and guilt. I usually tear up. Not tonight. It was so different.”
“What did you say?”
“I told her I wanted to come and say goodbye. I thanked her for everything and for the time she was in my life. I told her that you were here now and I wanted to give my all to loving you. And then the strangest thing happened after that.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all. I felt nothing. I heard nothing.”
“And that’s different than usual?”
“Yes. I always felt her presence around me, especially there. It was the first time in ten years that my words were met with absolute silence. She isn’t here anymore. She’s gone now.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“Free. I’ve been let out of the prison I created for myself. I don’t know if she was here because I kept her or if I just thought she was all these years, but tonight, she definitely wasn’t there. I think you were right. I think the night I had the dream she really left and she isn’t coming back.”
“She can finally rest knowing you’re going to be okay.”
Luca nods. “I believe that.” He takes my hand. “May I ask what you said to her?”
“I just told her that you were safe with me. I would take care of you and protect your heart.”
“You will, won’t you?”
“Until my last breath.”
“Which I hope is a hundred years from now.”
I smile. “So do I. Do you want to talk about what’s in the box?”
Luca shakes his head. “No. It’s just pictures and cards written between us. Someday I’ll show you. For now, we’ll take it to the attic as you suggested and tuck it away. There are only the two of us in the relationship now.”
“I know.”
“Are you hungry?”
“Ravished, actually.”
“I’ll order a pizza. We’ll take a bath and then I’ll make love to you again. How does that sound?”
“Absolutely divine.”
I LIE NEXT TO LONDYN, watching her sleep. I love how messy her hair is after our lovemaking and how soundly she sleeps. I love that she is in my bed right now. I love everything about her.
Tonight was a major shift. I’ve felt for a while now the absence of Sara’s constant presence, but I didn’t know until tonight that she was truly gone. I hope she has found the peace she gave to me. Tomorrow I have to figure out how I’m going to sneak away for a few hours to start my planning.
My mind races with thoughts on what is coming in the next few months. First, I’ve decided I’m going to talk to Angela on Friday as I finalize the semester. I’ll give Londyn the day off and decide how to transition our relationship to a public one. In the morning, I plan to ask her a question I pray she says yes to. She’s a brave girl, though, so I think she’ll be up for it. For now, I close my eyes and drift happily into a deep sleep.
Stirring in my sleep, I wake to the sound of the shower coming from the bathroom. I open my eyes and stretch, before sitting up and looking for my angel. She must be taking a shower. Climbing out of bed, I hope to join her before it’s over. I creep into the bathroom and pull back the shower curtain. A long sigh escapes my lips at the sight of her naked body. Her creamy skin is tinged pink from the heated water and she stands, eyes closed, under the stream letting it fall over her luxurious hair. I quietly step in behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her to me. I’m surprised when she doesn’t startle.
“Good morning, angel,” I whisper in her ear.
“Good morning, love. Did you sleep well?”
“I did. You?”
“Perfect.”
“I was afraid I startled you.”
“I knew you were there.” She turns and gazes into my eyes. “I always know where you are, Luca.”
I smile and kiss her neck as I run my hands over her exquisite breasts. “These are so beautiful. Do you know that?” I ask.
She shakes her head
and if her skin wasn’t already pink, I’m sure she’d blush.
“Well, they are. They are perfect. Everything about you is.”
“You don’t think I should lose a bit of weight?” When she asks this, her eyes shift away from mine. I pull her chin up so our eyes meet again.
“No, I don’t think that. I think your body is lovely. I love the curve of your hips and the softness of your thighs. I adore when we make love and I can hold you close. When my hands roam your skin, it feels like touching silk.” I drop to my knees and run my hand over her belly. “I think this part of you is nice. This space between your gorgeous tits and my favorite spot is the perfect place to lay my head after I’ve satisfied you.” I run my hands over her ass and squeeze just a little. “And your ass is amazing. I wish you could see what I see when I’m inside you. It’s a beautiful sight, Miss Harper.” I look up at her. “I assure you I don’t want you to change a thing about your appearance.”
Londyn smiles and runs her fingers through my hair. I love when she does that. In my mind, I know we should get out and get ready for work, but I need one more taste of her before we do. Parting her legs, I flick my tongue out and drag it over the essence I’m becoming obsessed with. I love the soft moans that trickle past her lips when I lick her. I love how her thigh muscles tighten. I love when she reaches up and squeezes her own tits, like she’s doing now. I love when she whispers my name. I love when she comes and she claws my hair. I love that all signs of my prim and proper assistant dissipate as she convulses with pleasure. I love that I do this to her.
Rising, I slip my tongue in her mouth and kiss her hard. She wraps her arms around my neck and returns my passion. When we stop, I gaze intently in her eyes. They look back at me, warm, loving, and always inquisitive.
“I love you. More than I ever thought it was possible to love another person.”
She reaches up and rubs my cheek. “I know. I can feel it. I feel like the luckiest woman alive. You are an amazing man. I love you so much.”
I kiss her once more before turning off the water and helping her step out. Going to work will be difficult today. I just want to drag her back to bed and spend the day nestled between her legs.
We dress and I watch Londyn put her hair into a bun on top of her head. She looks very much like a librarian right now. A sensual, expressive librarian. It turns me on.
“I’m tempted to take advantage of you,” I announce.
“I don’t see how my will has been compromised,” she says, grinning. “You may do with me as you wish.”
“You look really hot right now.”
Londyn laughs. “Hot? You’ve gone mad now for sure.”
“I have gone mad. Love does that to a person.”
Her cheeks blush as she smiles. “Yes, I’m acquainted with those feelings.”
“I have something to ask you. I thought, perhaps, we could walk to get a coffee this morning and discuss a few things.”
“Of course.”
“Wonderful.”
We walk out to the living room and wrap up in our coats and winter gear. Londyn suddenly goes from looking like a librarian to a porcelain doll. She should be put on a shelf for all to admire, but fortunately, for me, I get to look upon her as I wish.
As we step outside, the wind brushes past us, blowing snow across our faces. Instinctively, I pull Londyn close and wrap my arms around her. We stand on my front stoop and kiss again. I feel my body begin to warm from her touch.
“Come,” I say. “Let’s get coffee.”
“Yes.”
We walk on and as we do, the space between us widens the closer we get to Harvard. I hate it. Hopefully soon, we won’t have to hide so much. Crossing the campus, we get to my favorite coffee spot and I order two coffees for us. Londyn sits down at a small table looking out across the courtyard. I join her and do my best to return to a more professional demeanor rather than the love fool I’ve become.
“You had a question for me?” she asks, sweetly.
“Yes. Well, several questions actually. I’d like you to attend Angela’s holiday party with me.”
“Do you think that is wise?”
“I do. I plan for this to be public by then.”
“Public? It’s in just a week.”
“I know. I’m going to talk to Angela about it tomorrow and decide how to proceed.” I lower my voice. “I can’t keep this a secret any longer. I don’t want to.”
“I will follow your lead.” Her eyes shift up to meet mine and I admire the dark, lush lashes that frame her blue-green eyes. She doesn’t need a stich of makeup to be breathtaking.
“My second question, and I understand if you need more time, is…” I pause. This is huge.
“Luca?”
“Will you go to my parents’ house with me? For Christmas? I want them to meet you.”
Londyn gasps softly and places her hand over her heart. “You want me to meet your family?”
“I do. Very much. I’ve thought a lot about what you said. I need to make peace with all of this. I need to talk to Nico and my parents. I need to tell them what happened.”
“Do you think that would be more hurtful? After all these years?”
“I don’t know, but I think the secret has been killing me. I think it’s time. I hope they understand and forgive me, but I can’t keep it in anymore.”
“I’m so moved and touched that you want to do this with me. I’m so proud of you.”
“That is the finest compliment I could ever hope to receive.”
“Where will you start?”
“With Nico.”
“What are your plans tonight?” I ask Londyn as she starts to close down for the day.
“As difficult as it is to separate, I should go home. I need to do some washing and I’d like to catch up with Maddie.”
I frown briefly. “I understand. It will be difficult for me as well. Will you call me before you go to sleep tonight?”
“Yes. I won’t be able to sleep without hearing your voice.”
“Also, I want you to take the day off tomorrow. We’re caught up and tomorrow will just be meetings for me. You and Maddie should go to the spa or a movie or something fun.” I walk over to her and pull her into my arms. “Then I hope you will find your way to my home and spend the night with me.”
“Yes,” she says softly, lifting her chin so that I may kiss her. Rubbing my nose against hers, I close my eyes and relish the feeling of her body pressed against me.
“I love you, angel.”
“I love you, too.”
We kiss and then I finally release her. She moves away slowly then looks surprised when she glances at the office door that is only slightly ajar.
“Professor Lance,” she says. “Did you need to see Luca?”
I turn to the door as Angela steps inside my office.
“Oh, yes, I wasn’t sure anyone was still here. It was so quiet.”
“We were just wrapping up,” I add.
“I stopped by to see if you’d join me for dinner. There’s a train delay.”
“Sure. I can do that.”
Angela turns to Londyn. “Would you like to join us, dear?”
“Oh, no, but thank you. I must get home and tend to my chores. Have a nice evening.” Londyn’s eyes shift from Angela to me. “Both of you.”
“You too, Londyn,” Angela says.
“Yes, you too.”
Londyn’s sweet face fills with her smile and she excuses herself. When she leaves, I feel as though a part of me went with her.
“So,” Angela starts. “I’m just going to say this and get it over with.”
“Yes?”
“I saw you kiss her.”
I’m sure all the color just drained from my face. “What?”
“I really thought she was gone since it was so quiet. I stepped inside and saw the two of you so I quickly stepped back out. I didn’t want to disturb or embarrass you.” Angela smiles and sits down in the chair in front of my
desk. “I knew you were in love with her. I just knew it.”
I sigh and sink down into my chair. “I guess I can’t deny it now. Honestly, I planned to discuss it with you tomorrow. You are the only person I trust here with my personal life and I wanted your advice.”
Angela laughs. “Okay, but first, can we please talk about how this happened?”
“How it happened was slowly. I didn’t even realize it until it was too late.”
“So you are in love?”
“Oh, yes. Most assuredly.”
“That’s wonderful. Are you happy?”
“Immensely. She is everything I could have ever hoped for.” I feel a knot in my throat as I speak. No words could be truer.
“There was something about her that told me she was right for you. She has a soothing presence over you and you are a different man around her. It’s been joyful to watch. How long has this been going on?”
“A few weeks?”
“That’s it? What I just witnessed seemed like two people who have been in love for ages.”
“I think we have been. We just didn’t do anything about it. I was so afraid to ruin our working relationship, but it became unbearable to hide my feelings any longer. I am thankful she returned my affection.”
“Wonderful. So what advice do you need from me?”
“I don’t want to hide my relationship with her, but I’m not sure how to handle things at work.”
“Hmm,” Angela says and she pushes her glasses on top of her head. “Well, I’ve never been in this situation before, but I remember about seven years ago this happened, but it was a scandal. She was his class assistant and still a student.”
“What happened?”
“He transferred to another university. What was his name?” She looks to the ceiling for a moment. “Henderson. Yes, that’s it. He taught English Lit.”
“It was a scandal?” I ask, frowning.
“Well, yes, but I think it’s because they tried to keep it a secret. The girl bragged to her friends, though, and it got out. Of course, I think it was just a fling. Nothing serious at all.”
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