by Candi B
“I should have stayed my ass at home. I hate him. I can’t believe he hit me in front of all those people.” I cried.
“Me either, but he gon’ get his, I promise you that! Please tell me this was his first time, Sunjai, because you were ducking and dodging like you knew his next move.”
I didn’t say nothing, because the cat was already out the bag.
“What the fuck, Sunjai? You been letting this nigga hit on you?”
My head snapped up quick. “Look, we’ve beaten on each other. Don’t get it twisted, I ain’t no weak bitch, who’s just going to let a nigga whoop my ass. I know it’s fucked up, but that was just how we rocked together.”
“Bitch, that shit sounds dumb, and I can’t even believe you went through that with that nigga.”
“Bitch, I can’t believe you stayed married to a nigga who got your cousin pregnant! We all stay for different reasons, you had yours, and I had mine.”
I wasn’t sorry for saying what I said to Ivy. What she said was like calling the kettle black, and nothing about her marriage was some shit I would want to go through. I knew it hurt her feelings, because talking about Sharaya was a big no, no, to her. The rest of the ride to my house was quiet. I told her thanks for the ride, and got out. As expected, she pulled off without saying anything to me. I knew her feelings were hurt. I will call and apologize to her later, but for right now, she can stay stuck in her feelings. I was right when I said we stayed with niggas for our own reasons, and no matter the situation, in the end, we all were looking for the same thing.
I made it to my house and collapsed on the floor, and burst out crying. The minute I put these shorts on, I knew what I was doing. I wanted to get Melo’s attention, and I wanted to make him jealous. I couldn’t lie to myself anymore, being by myself was making me go crazy. I needed a friend, something that would make me feel good. I went to my liquor cabinet and took out a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, this bottle was about to be everything I needed and more, tonight. I was rolling me a fat ass blunt when there was a knock on my door, and I knew it was Melo. His ass sobered up and he came over to apologize.
“I just came to see was you good. I’m sorry about what happened at the car show. Look-”
“No, you look, you can either step inside and fuck me like you miss me, or get the fuck away from my door, and go back to where the fuck you came from.”
I opened the door and wasted no time stripping out my clothes. I wasn’t about to let this pain destroy me and take over me, but right now, I’d rather feel something other than loneliness.
Ivy
I was about ready to quit this job today. I was on my thirteenth x-ray scan, with five more patients to go, before I could end my shift. Tonight, Zane was taking me out on a date, and I hope I had the energy to go through it. These doubles were killing me, and it would be a cold day in hell before I volunteered to do this again. I took my last break, and went to the vending machine to get me a Red Bull energy drink. The taste was disgusting, but it got the job done. I turned on my phone, and Sunjai kept texting me bible quotes about forgiveness, but I wasn’t feeling her right now. Xavier was a scumbag and all between, but one thing he never did was put his hands on me. I don’t give a fuck if Sunjai was fighting his ass back, she shouldn’t have allowed him to even feel like it was ok. Sunjai was unraveling, and I had saw her on Snapchat at Club Celebrity, cutting loose. I was all for her having fun, but when I saw her taking a picture with Big Rick, the neighborhood dope dealer, I knew Sunjai was unraveling. Big Rick only fucked with you if you fucked with him, and that involved drugs, sex, and money. I made a mental note to stop by her place after I got off from work. Now it was my turn to turn her living room into an intervention.
After I dropped her off the night of the car show, I went back to the park to take Zane his car and pick mine up. I know I was a little crazy, but it would take a doctor to tell me It wasn’t Xavier following me. He took heed to what I said, and he hadn’t come back to my condo, but I know that was him shadowing behind me. Calling my brothers and letting them know what was going on was a death sentence for Xavier, so I didn’t call them, because technically, I wasn’t for sure it was him.
“How did you know I was on break?” I answered my phone.
“You know a nigga got a sixth sense. You still up for tonight?” Zane asked me.
The sound of his sexy voice had me all smiles. “Yep, and as soon as I’m done here, I’m going to stop by Sunjai’s, and then I’m on my way home. What are you doing?”
“Getting my hands dirty. I helped Berg drop a transmission, and now I’m about to start on rebuilding the motor. I should be leaving here in a few hours. You came across my mind, so I hollered at you.”
“You thinking about me? How sweet! You missing me and shit, mama will be at the crib in a lil bit, daddy.” We laughed.
“You wild, you know that? But I got to get back to work. I’m working the front desk since Tangie called in sick today.”
“Awe, shucky ducky, she might be pregnant.”
“Girl, you talking crazy, I’ll kill her and her baby daddy.”
I laughed. “Leave Tangie alone, before she go off you. You know Tangie crazy.”
“Just like yo crazy ass, but I’ll get up with you later, aight?”
“Ok.” I blew a kiss through the phone.
Zane laughed. “You corny as fuck.”
“You better blow me one back.”
“Ok, kiss me through the phone, Soulja boy, looking ass girl.” We cracked up.
Me and Zane had to slow it down, before I ended up pregnant. It was fun knocking on each other’s doors, and slipping into each other’s beds in the middle of the night. Whew, the sex, Zane was a beast in the sheets, and he kept my legs in the air. We were running through condoms faster than a newborn baby did with diapers. We still hadn’t put a title on what we were doing, but I was just going with the flow, we both were having fun. His daughter, Zanaya, was a trip though, and out of respect for him and her crazy ass mama, the nights she stayed over we didn’t knock on each other’s door. After I whooped Timeka’s ass, she never came back over, and Zane said she had been really quiet. I hope that bitch wasn’t up to no funny shit, because I would beat her ass again without a thought.
My shift was finally over, and I hauled ass out the hospital before anyone could ask me to do anything extra. I loved my job, and a few colleagues told me I should go up for the supervisor position, but at times, my job could be demanding, and I didn’t want it to take away from my personal life, since I had one. Thanks to Zane, I didn’t have to stop and put gas in my car. He always made sure my car has gas, and he always made sure things around my house were taken care of, like taking out the trash. I almost lost my life one morning when he caught me with a trash bag in my hand.
I attempted to call Sunjai, but her phone went to voicemail. I parked next to her car and proceeded to her front door. Sunjai lived in an ok neighborhood, but you still had to keep your car doors locked around here, because there wasn't any security riding around guarding the place. I knocked on her door, and the loud moans and screams I heard, made me take a few steps back. Wasn't a damn thang wrong with this skank, she was in there getting her back blown out.
"Yesss, baby, eat that pussy." I heard Sunjai.
“Mmmmm,” the other person growled.
I shook my head and stepped away from her door, and went back to my car. I didn't see Melo's car, so my suspicions were correct, she was fucking around with Big Rick. We were too damn grown, and I wasn't about to tell another grown bitch who she she should and shouldn't give her pussy too. Especially since I've been humping my next-door neighbor like a rabbit. I hope like hell she knew what came with getting involved with that nigga. Fifteen minutes later, I was pulling up into my parking space. I got out the car, and let out a loud scream, when I felt someone grabbing me from the back. I reached in my purse and pulled out my gun.
"Ivy, chill, chill, Ivy, it's just me."
"What the fu
ck is you doing here?! I told you to not bring your ass back here! You think I'm playing with you, Xavier?!" I raised my gun to his chest.
"Just chill! I just want to talk to you, damn. I know you stole my money and my work. I'm in a bind, and I owe some people some money I don't have. I just need a few grand to get them off my back until I can come up with something."
"You have ten seconds to get out of my proximity."
"Then go ahead and shoot me! My family is gone, I'm broke, I'm about to die anyway, so just take me out my misery."
“You ain’t said nothing but a word.”
“That’s how it is now, Ivy? I fucked up and lost the best thing that ever happened to me. You don’t love me anymore, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. I’m sorry for everything. I just want you back, baby.”
I lowered my gun, and something came over me. I couldn't stop laughing. I was laughing so hysterically, that I hadn't realized I was crying. "Motherfucker, you’re miserable? Why, because all your side bitches left you? Where’s Monique at? Where is my cousin? What happened to the nigga who had the city in the palm of his hands? Nigga, you ain't miserable, it's just your time to face all the wrong you did. I don't give a fuck about you being in a bind. Did you really think I would save you? Even if I could, I’d still watch you crumble, and you know why? Because you taught me not to give a fuck. You showed me what heartless looked and felt like. You damn right I took your money and your drugs. What was yours was mine, and I took what was mine. Love, what’s that? The last time I tried to love a nigga, you know he did? That nigga fucked my cousin! Now, you've overstayed your welcome by ten seconds!"
“Ivy, baby, I’m sorry. Please calm down and hear me out.” Xavier begged.
I could feel someone behind me, and as they got closer, I smelled Zane’s cologne. “Ivy, put the gun down, this nigga ain’t worth a bullet.”
I hated Xavier, everything about him, and what he believed in I hated. My hands shook, and it took everything in me not to pull the fucking trigger. Flashes of my Monique and her son crossed my mind. I could see Sharaya standing in the doorway with an evil ass smirk on her face. I heard the lies of Xavier, telling me it was all a mistake, and how Sharaya came on to him and the same tired ass line he just tried to use. “Baby, I love you.” No, motherfucker, you never did! I was yelling inside my own head.
POW!
The gun went off, and the bullet barely missed Xavier, and it grazed his ear. Zane hurriedly took the gun out my hand. I tried to slap the taste out of Xavier, but Zane grabbed me. Xavier held on to his ear, while mugging me and Zane.
"Bruh, you need to pick up your feet and get the fuck away from here. If I see you around here, or her again, shit’s gon’ end differently, and we know you ain't bout that life, X." Zane had called Xavier by his street name.
"Nigga, fuck you, homie, you don't know me! This is between me and my wife, nigga. "
Zane chuckled. "Nah, homie, ex-wife now. Nigga, if it wasn't for me, Big Rick wouldn't never made you high in rank. You only got the position because I quit mine, other than that, you would still be on the corners pushing dime bags and twenty sacks."
Xavier looked at Zane, and then his eyes bulged. "Zane?"
"The one and only. You then saw me too many times in action, so you know how a nigga handle his. You better come up with a different way to get Big Rick his money, because all that's over here is death and a funeral. My baby ain’t fucking with yo coward ass. Get the fuck from around here, nigga."
Xavier’s mouth twitched, and he wanted to say something back to Zane, but the look on Zane face told him to think smart. "I don't want no trouble, man. Ivy, tell your brothers to get at me."
I watched Xavier get into his car and leave. Zane came over to me and wrapped his arms around me, and I held on to him tight. Didn't matter that cars were passing by and looking at us like we were crazy. He stood right there with me, and let me cry into his chest.
"I'm sorry." I told him. I wiped away my tears and cleaned off his shirt. I'm usually good with holding my emotions in, but Xavier brought out the worst in me.
"You owe me a new shirt."
"Really? Just chalk it up to all the panties you owe me." We laughed.
"Girl, you know you don't wear panties unless you going to work."
"Oh yea, huh." We laughed again.
"C'mon, and let's go inside the house." He took my hand in his and we walked up the stairs.
"Just give me a few minutes to get ready. I don't want that to ruin our date. I've let that motherfucker ruin a lot of things in my life, and he ain't ruining shit else."
Zane took me by face and brought his lips to mine. "Don't worry about that nigga, I got you. Just go get ready, and I'll be waiting."
Inside my apartment, I took off my clothes and stepped inside my walk in shower. Tears fell down my eyes, and to be perfectly honest, my ass was crying because I deserved to. How, and why, was I so damn stupid behind his lil weak punk ass? I know I got smart in the end, but still I let him take so much away from me. I meant what I said, Xavier wasn’t in control of me anymore. Me and Zane had a great friendship going, and I wasn’t going to be the bitter ass woman who couldn’t get pass her ex. I got out the shower and dried myself off. There was a knock on the door, and I knew it was Zane’s impatient ass. I opened the door and let him inside.
"Ivy, you can't wear a towel to where we going. Go put on some fucking clothes," he joked.
I dropped my towel and walked to my room, making sure each of my ass cheeks jiggle. I slipped the dress over my head, and slipped my feet into my favorite sandals. The dress hugged me, but it was long, and appropriate for any outing. I left my braids in the bun I wore when I go to work. A coat of clear lip gloss, and my large hoop earrings, I was ready for whatever.
"Go back in the room." Zane told me. He was getting a bottle of water out the fridge.
"What? No, ain't nothing wrong with what I got on." I glanced over my attire, and I was cute.
"Ivy, I can see the dents in your ass through that dress. Go change." He took a sip of the water.
"No." I challenged him. That didn't do any good, because he picked me up and slammed me on my bed.
"Nigga, I could have broken my neck!" I laughed, while holding my neck. Zane went in my dresser and threw me a pair of panties, and went in my closet and picked me out a pair of jeans.
"Zane, this doesn't match, and it’s too hot to be wearing a sweater." I held up the shirt he picked out.
"I don't care, put that shit on, and let's go! You got too much ass to be letting it roam free, you gon’ put a leash on that motherfucker today."
"Zane!"
"Ivy, I don't give a fuck about that look on your face. You and Zanaya got that shit down pat, but I ain't going for that no more. Put the got damn shirt on and let’s go."
This was a battle I wasn't going to win, but I wasn't going to put on this tacky ass shit. I changed into the pants, and put on a blouse that matched my sandals. "Does this meet your standards now?"
"Turn around let me see?"
"Nigga!"
Zane laughed. "I'm just fucking with you, you look sexy, now let's go."
I loved the fact that whenever me and Zane would be together, he gave me his undivided attention. He didn't have the radio blasting, and he didn't answer his phone for anyone, unless it was Zanaya.
"I ain't trying to be funny, but I can't believe you were married to that bottom feeder ass nigga. X was a part of my crew, and was in charge of selling the bullshit ass pills. There was a time that nigga took orders from me."
"I can believe that, and it's a long fucking story. I guess when you got out the game, he stepped his game up, because he was making money, and his name was buzzing out here."
Zane chuckled. "That nigga was stealing and making enemies. I still hear shit, even though I've washed my hands clean, so Roddrick and Demarcus are your brothers?"
"Yeah, how you know?"
"I did some work on one of Big Rick’s
cars, and he was talking about them. It was all good shit too, the drugs that you gave them belonged to Big Rick. They took it back to him and he put them on, Big Rick will put anybody on who shows him loyalty."
"Damn, I had no clue you were the plug. So, what made you get out, besides your daughter?"
"Shit, my freedom. Things started getting crazy in Detroit, and niggas were getting busted left and right. I never want my daughter seeing me through a glass window, so I got the fuck out and been legit since.”
“So, why aren’t you with your baby mama? Why’d you leave?” This was the million-dollar question.
“Timeka and I just don’t mix. I tried to do the whole family thing once, but all the nagging and insecurities got to me. We’re better at co-parenting, and that’s what it is.”
“Let me guess, you cheated on her?”
“Why niggas always gotta be the ones to cheat? She cheated on my ass with her best friend’s boyfriend. That was way back, but she thinks I’m holding that against her.”
“Well, are you? Y’all niggas can’t take when a woman dog y’all ass out.”
“I did when we were young, but now I’m about twenty vaginas in, so it’s safe to say I don’t give a fuck. I’m a man. I work, take care of my daughter, and do me. I ain’t worried about Timeka, for real. So, why you never had any kids for that nigga?”
“That’s crazy, because I never wanted kids with him. Having kids wouldn’t have made the situation better. Besides, we stopped fucking each other way before the marriage was over.”
“That’s some sad shit, Ivy. What, you didn’t think you were worth anything more than that bullshit? Shit, you already know I’ll dig your guts out, damn shame you have all that good pussy and that nigga didn’t know what to do with it. Don’t worry, sweetheart, that pussy in good hands now. I’ll caress the pussy, talk to the pussy, me and your pussy gon’ be the best of friends.”