by M. L. Briers
“Maybe we…” Guilt raised its ugly head.
“Let’s go. Now. While he’s busy holding his balls,” Natalie berated her as she shoved her in the back to get her moving.
“Harsh — very harsh.”
“You know what they say — if you can’t beat them — knee them in the balls!”
“Who says that?” Saffy asked.
“I just did.”
“Yes, but who else?”
“You had a sheltered childhood, didn’t you?” Natalie asked.
The alpha groaned inwardly; not only were his balls on fire, but the damn witches were arguing – again.
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~
“Which way?” Saffy asked.
The snow was just too thick to make out the landscape around them for her to have any real idea of where they were or what to head for.
“Do I look like a compass to you?” Natalie bit back.
She liked snow – when she was looking out of a window at it, all nice and warm, and snuggly. Being outside, underdressed and freezing her backside off was a completely different matter, and it certainly wasn’t her idea of a good night out.
“Maybe we should use a little magic…”
“And give the alpha a nice tingly roadmap with which to follow us by?” Natalie berated her.
“We could be walking around in circles,” Saffy grumbled.
“In that case, we would have tripped over the alpha holding his balls, don’t you think?”
“Not literally circles,” Saffy bit back.
“Don’t you two do anything but argue?” Doug growled and made both witches jump in place.
“It’s a sign of affection.” Natalie snapped back. She was already testy, but the alpha showing up again just added to her woes.
“As is kicking a person in the balls,” Saffy rushed out and offered him something of a sheepish grin.
“Yes — I have a bone to pick with you about that one,” the alpha growled again.
“Sorry, bones are not her thing. That’s a dog thing – you’re thing, right?” Natalie offered back.
“I’d use that old cliche that goes; now that I’ve got you what am I going to do with you — but the truth is — I don’t want you.” The alpha growled.
“And yet, here you are – again,” Saffy pointed out.
“Well, if you don’t want us then could you point us towards a road?” Natalie grinned.
“That was my damn intention in the first place!” Doug bit out.
“Good, then we’re on the same page,” Saffy said.
“Maybe, if you had just got out of the car when I told you to then we would be…”
“You’re still angry about the knee in the balls — thing…” Saffy got no further.
“I’ve healed. A knee in the balls is the least of my worries.” Doug growled in annoyance.
“Perhaps the lack of fur thing?” Saffy asked.
“Huh?” Doug drew a blank.
“Never mind,” Saffy looked sheepish again.
“There’s a sniffing thing?” Natalie asked and looked decidedly guilty.
“Yes, it has to do with a sniffing thing,” Doug gave a slow shake of his head in disbelief.
He was a damn fool. He should never have done it.
He knew better, but they’d miffed him off to the point where his anger had outweighed everything else, including caution, and reason.
He should never have scented the air and took the witches essence — rookie mistake – but, he also knew that he couldn’t take that mistake back.
“You want your nose back?” Saffy said.
“Huh?” Doug drew a blank again.
“Okay, not the spell,” Saffy muttered and turned her full attention towards him. “I’m confused…”
“Join the club.” The alpha growled out.
“Would you just spit out what you want to say?” Natalie grumbled.
“I…” Doug grimaced as he lifted his hand, pointed a finger, and then dropped it back to his side with a big dollop frustration, and a little hope that if he didn’t say it, then it wouldn’t be true.
“Go ahead — spit it out,” Saffy urged.
The alpha grimaced. If there was a time to believe in a Christmas miracle then, surely, that time had arrived.
“Mine,” Doug grumbled on a slow shake of his head.
CHAPTER FIVE
~
Both witches looked shell-shocked.
Then mortified.
Then shell-shocked again.
They turned to look at each other. Their mouths fell open, and their eyes widened.
“Huh?” Natalie said before she swallowed down a good portion of her tongue that felt dry and swollen.
“Why are you asking me?” Saffy rushed out with a tone that closely resembled panic.
“Huh?” Natalie said again.
She was sure that she could hear Christmas Bells — or the bells of doom — something was definitely ringing in her ears, or maybe it was in her brain.
Maybe she was dead and being called to heaven — maybe her old belief system had been wrong for all those years — she knew one thing – she just wanted to go home. Curling into a ball in the middle of her bed seemed like an appropriate action to take and didn’t scream to her of overkill.
“Ask him not me!” Saffy said as she turned an accusing finger on the alpha and the man snapped to attention, flexing his muscles as he did, and sending her brain in a completely different direction.
“This is your fault!” Doug growled out as he pointed a finger back at the witch.
“How is this my fault?” Saffy snapped back.
“All you had to do was open the damn door!” Doug growled.
“You couldn’t open the door?” Natalie bit out in disbelief.
“Oh no!” Saffy took a step back and shook her head. “You two are not laying this at my door — feet! — door! — oh, sod the bloody door!”
“That door that you should have opened?” Natalie grumbled back.
“Now hold on a minute!” Saffy raised her hands out in front of her to silence the both of them. “Who is your — mate?”
“Does it matter?” Natalie hissed back.
“It matters to me!” Saffy snapped at her.
“Okay, so it matters — I’ll give you that one,” Natalie grumbled again. She wasn’t entirely sure which planet her brain was hanging out on, but it wasn’t on Earth.
Both witches looked at the alpha with expectation. Doug grumbled a growl.
“I don’t speak wolf,” Natalie snapped at him.
“There’s a problem…” he growled back.
“I see it standing right in front of me, and it’s big and naked!” Natalie snapped again.
“I don’t know!” Doug tossed up his hands in the air and let them fall back to his sides with a slap of skin against skin.
“What do you mean – you don’t know?” Saffy demanded.
“How can you not know?” Natalie bit out.
“I seem to have a — malfunction,” Doug scowled at the thought of it.
“What does that mean?” Saffy demanded.
“I can’t smell anything,” Doug admitted to his shame. An alpha without a sense of smell was like a clown without stupid hair, big feet, and a big red nose.
“Oh,” Saffy said. Then her eyes widened, and she flicked a guilty look towards Natalie. “Oh!”
“That’s…” Natalie considered it for a long moment. “Unfortunate.” She shot Saffy a warning look to keep her silence, and Saffy scowled back at her.
“Unfortunate?” Saffy asked.
“That he can’t sniff each of us and see which one is his mate,” Natalie explained with another glare of warning for her friend.
Saffy finally caught on to her meaning. For now — both, and yet neither witch was his mate – just like that stupid alive-dead cat in a box that smart people talked about.
Perhaps they could use that to their advantage.
Saffy grimaced and swallowed a guilty look that might have given the game away. But when she looked at Natalie, there on her face was the biggest faux look of sympathy that she’d ever witnessed.
“And you, an alpha,” Natalie said with a small shake of her head.
Saffy twitched with something that fast approached annoyance when Natalie shot her a look of pure glee. Not because she was playing the damn wolfman, but because she’d offered her that exact same look of sympathy when Saffy had discovered that her favorite singing mug – that Natalie hated – had somehow been put in the dishwasher and had broken.
Oh, when they got home Saffy was definitely going to have words with her best friend!
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~
“Let’s do Christmas, she said…” Natalie mumbled to herself as she trudged through the snow, following the taut naked backside of the alpha that was the best view she was going to get all night. She was cursing at the thought of all those stupid Christmas decorations that were in the back of the car. “It’ll be fun, she said.”
“Keep grumbling like that, and you’ll fit right in with the alpha,” Saffy whispered.
“Let’s see how the other half live, she said…” Natalie mimicked her friend.
“I never meant a bloody wolf pack,” Saffy hissed.
“Does the phrase; be careful what you wish for ring any bloody bells?” Natalie hissed back.
“I think I might have heard that somewhere,” Saffy’s tone was dripping with sarcasm.
“A witch that doesn’t want to use her magic. An alpha that can’t sniff his mate — and Christmas! Oh, joy! Christmas!” Natalie grumbled again.
“Well, as this is our first Christmas, maybe we should have expected a few hitches along the way,” Saffy grimaced.
“Hitches?” Natalie shot her a look of disbelief.
“Bumps?” Saffy offered back.
“He’s not a bump, he’s a bloody mountain,” Natalie tossed up a hand towards the man leading the way. “This isn’t a hitch; it’s the fecking nightmare before Christmas. And don’t even get me started on bloody stupid Christmas itself.”
“Grouch!” Saffy bit out.
“Yes, I’m the Christmas grouch!” Natalie sneered. “Why couldn’t we just burn a Yule log like every other witch?”
“Right now, I’d settle for some Mistletoe,” Saffy whispered back.
“I heard that,” Doug tossed back over his shoulder.
“Occupational hazard of having big ears, Mr. Wolf,” Saffy tossed back.
“You know better than most that mistletoe is poisonous for wolves…” He growled.
“And dogs and cats, but are they complaining?” Natalie offered back.
“Maybe just a little wolfsbane then – or a pinch of some nice belladonna would do the trick,” Saffy hissed out in a whisper.
“I heard that too,” he grumbled.
“Is it my fault that you have two satellite dishes strapped to his sides of your head?” Saffy snapped out.
“No, but it is your fault that we’re here in this snow-globe-ian, miserable wilderness with sad-sack over there,” Natalie reminded her as she pointed a finger at the alpha.
“I’m sorry. I’ll just conjure up a spell that takes away the last few hours, shall I?” Saffy tossed back. “Oh wait! That’s impossible, but don’t let it stop you flogging a dead horse.”
“I won’t.” Natalie shot her a smug smile.
“And why do I get all the blame for this?” Saffy stopped and scowled at her friend as she tossed her hands onto her hips.
Natalie stopped on a sigh and turned back to her.
“You’re the one that had to have a Christmas tree,” Natalie reminded her.
“And, being a witch and all, did you never hear of – oh wait, what is that rarity, ah yes – fate?” Saffy demanded.
“Well, sure, Sparky. What’s your point?”
“Even if I hadn’t wanted a Christmas tree, which I did, but that’s so not the point — then don’t you think that fate would have found another way to get us here? A little workaround?” Saffy reasoned.
But Natalie didn’t feel the need to be reasonable. She felt the need to deny everything – even stupid fate.
“Maybe we would have dodged that particular bullet,” Natalie offered back.
“Can you two save the arguments for when we get inside?” Doug growled.
“You wait your turn,” Saffy grumbled at him as she held up her hand to silence the man. “So, fate would have just given up?”
“You never can tell. And now we will never know,” Natalie shrugged.
“The house isn’t that much further away,” Doug offered. He was naked in a snowstorm after all.
“Just wait!” Saffy snapped at the man. Then she turned her attention back to her friend. “ Of course we know. Fate is fate. It’s like death; it can’t be avoided.”
“People avoid death every day…”
“Only because fate lets them…” Saffy shot back.
“It’s just through those trees,” Doug lifted his hand and pointed, but neither witch was paying much attention to him.
“Fine. We’ll be there in a moment,” Saffy tossed up an absent hand back at the man.
“Well, I don’t see it that way,” Natalie tossed back. “It’s not called dodging a bullet for nothing.”
“Fine. Here’s a bullet to dodge,” Saffy grumbled before she turned towards the alpha. “She put a spell on you so that you couldn’t smell anything but bacon fat.”
The sound of Natalie gasping in a shocked breath made Saffy turn a smug grin on her friend. She folded her arms and tipped her head to one side.
CHAPTER SIX
~
“You did what?” Doug growled.
“You wait your turn,” Natalie bit out as she held out her hand to silence the man. “How could you?” she scowled at Saffy.
“Quite easily,” Saffy tossed back.
“Hello? Is my volume turned down?” Doug grumbled.
“Unfortunately not,” Natalie snapped at him before she rallied to Saffy again. “What you fail to realize is that you just cut your nose off to spite your face.”
“How’s that then?” Saffy demanded.
“Because, we still don’t know which of us is his mate,” Natalie offered back as she tipped her chin up and offered a smug smile of her own.
Saffy mouth opened, but no words came out. Her lips did move, but Natalie had to wonder if that wasn’t due to the cold.
“Oh look, your goldfish impression,” Natalie said.
“I like a good catfight as much as the next guy, but I’m freezing my balls off,” Doug growled.
The witches turned to stare at him.
“And how would that be bad news for us?” Natalie asked.
“I haven’t forgotten that you’re the one who spelled me. I’m just choosing to ignore it until…” Doug growled.
“You have warm balls?” Natalie asked with a smug smile that he would have loved to have wiped off her face.
“We need to keep moving,” Doug growled. It was true, his naked body was starting to succumb to the weather, but he was always running hot, and if push came to shove then he could shift into his wolf – they weren’t so lucky. “I’m not going to be responsible for two witches that resemble frozen popsicles.”
“I have fur-lined boots,” Saffy announced with an air of one-upmanship on her friend. When the alpha did a double take on her, she realized her mistake. “Oh, not real fur. I would never wear real fur.” She assured him.
Doug gave a slow shake of his head in disbelief. He wasn’t sure which planet the witches had come from, but he was certain that he never wanted to pay it a visit.
“Let’s go!” Doug growled.
He’d had more than enough of them already. That didn’
t bode well for the fact that one of them was his mate.
“I have fur-lined boots…” Natalie mimicked her friend.
“Well, one of us planned ahead,” Saffy shot back.
“Enough!” The alpha roared. “Pups aren’t as much trouble as you two.” He berated them. “When does it end?” He almost begged for the nightmare to be over.
“We are witches,” Saffy shrugged her shoulders. She looked to Natalie.
“It never ends,” Natalie offered as plainly and innocently as she knew how.
Doug grunted in annoyance. He lifted his hand and pointed, opened his mouth to speak, and then — gave up.
With another grunt, he turned on his heels and started to walk, muttering to himself all the way. He even considered burying his head in a snowdrift just so he couldn’t hear them bickering anymore, and with the added bonus of brain freeze.
Natalie and Saffy grinned at each other.
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~
“Oh my god, its Santa’s grotto!” Natalie bit out.
They were standing on top of a steep ridge looking down into the valley below. A community of cabins nestled along the valley floor, covered in snow, smoke coming out of the chimney’s, and brightly colored fairy lights illuminating the scene.
“Now that’s Christmas!” Saffy beamed her friend a smile.
“Oh no, if it looks that bad on the outside…” Natalie groaned.
“Trust me, that’s nothing…” Doug growled.
“Yea! Christmas!” Saffy giggled like a schoolgirl.
She was the first to put one foot in front of the other and start down the hill. Her reluctance to go to pack land had vanished at the sight of the twinkling lights.
“Yea,” Doug grumbled.
“And you allow this?” Natalie berated the alpha. “Shame on you.”
“There are extenuating circumstances…” Doug offered back.
“There can be no excuse,” Natalie grumbled.
“It’s called booze and the Christmas feast.”
Natalie considered his words for a long moment. She chewed them over and then gave a small shrug of her shoulders.