‘You’re right, it doesn’t,’ said Amy, relieved that Ben seemed to understand what she needed so instinctively.
‘Shall we just take things slowly and see where we end up?’
‘Sounds good to me,’ Amy replied. ‘Thanks for understanding.’
‘I’m a master at that,’ said Ben with a dry grin, and before she went he brushed his lips softly against hers. Her heart caught in her throat. He was so perfect in every way, and every time she turned round he seemed to be there, just where she needed him. Just where she wanted him. The only problem was, he wasn’t Jamie, and she still felt caught between her past and her future. But as she walked back in the dappling sunlight, for the first time she felt that perhaps the pull of the future could one day be stronger.
‘I just don’t get it,’ said Saffron as Pete staggered in with the shopping a couple of days later.
‘Get what?’ Pete was starting to empty bags out while Saffron tidied away the remnants of tea. Ellie was gurgling happily in the high chair, and Becky and Matt were ensconced in front of the TV.
‘One minute Amy and I are really busy, and getting lots of new business,’ said Saffron, ‘and the next we have clients cancelling all over the place. Even some of our more regular clients are beginning to make excuses and saying they don’t need us. And yet no one’s complained of the work we’ve done. I don’t understand it.’
‘Oh, it will probably just be a blip,’ said Pete. ‘I expect you’ll get busier again in a week or two. Anyway, didn’t you say it was going to be tricky to work in the holidays? I’m sure it will pick up after then.’
‘Yes, but suppose it doesn’t?’ said Saffron. ‘We might find ourselves with no work at all.’
‘I’m sure it won’t come to that,’ said Pete. ‘Where do the teabags go, by the way?’
Saffron rolled her eyes. ‘Where they normally go,’ she said.
‘Which is?’ Pete still looked blank, so Saffron took pity on him.
‘Top left cupboard, second shelf,’ she said. ‘Honestly, one of these days I’ll teach you to be domesticated.’
‘I’m doing my best,’ protested Pete.
‘I know. I’m just being grouchy because of this business with work. It’s almost as if someone’s badmouthing us or something, but who?’ She went over to pick the baby up. ‘Yeuch, a smelly nappy from you is the last thing I need.’
‘Now you’re being silly,’ said Pete. ‘Who would do such a thing?’
Saffron had the sudden awful thought that maybe Linda Lovelace’s neighbours had spread the word that she was a part-time hooker. But she could hardly tell Pete that. He still thought she was going to aerobics classes every Wednesday. Somehow, the longer it went on, the less able she was to tell him. Anyway, half Linda’s neighbours came to her classes, so they were a fairly broad-minded bunch. But if not them, then who?
She snapped her fingers. ‘Gerry, that’s who! It’s the sort of petty, spiteful thing he would do, just because I said he couldn’t have the kids at Easter.’
‘Oh, come on, Saffron, even Gerry wouldn’t be that small-minded?’ Pete replied. ‘Surely he’s got better things to do with his time?’
‘You don’t know Gerry like I do,’ said Saffron, a grim look on her face. ‘He’s quite capable of anything. But you’re right, he probably doesn’t have time. I’m just wondering who the blonde bimbo is friendly with. I wonder if she knows anyone on Mrs Turner’s street?’
‘Saffron, you have no way of proving any of this,’ warned Pete.
‘Don’t I?’ said Saffron. ‘You just watch me try.’
‘Is everyone sure they’ve had enough?’ Amy asked for the third time. She had hardly dared to hope what a success her lunch party had turned out to be. It had been a little cramped, it was true, but everyone had had enough to eat, and the kids had run off to play, allowing her and Saffron time for girly chat while the boys got into passionate arguments about the football. Harry had happily pottered in and out of conversations and seemed to be taking the greatest delight in blowing bubbles at Ellie.
‘Amy, I am absolutely stuffed,’ said Pete, finishing the last mouthful of apple crumble, and everyone chorused the same.
‘How about coffee?’ Amy got up to go to the kitchen, when Ben hijacked her lunch party in a most decisive manner (masterful was definitely his word, she thought again dreamily).
‘I’ll do it,’ he said. ‘You sit down.’
‘I can’t possibly let you,’ she said. So instead the pair of them did the washing-up together, while they watched the kids playing in the garden.
‘We always seem to find ourselves in the kitchen at parties,’ said Amy.
‘Don’t we just,’ said Ben, flicking her with a tea towel. ‘Are we done, do you think?’
‘Yup, that will do,’ said Amy. ‘Let’s round up the troops and walk off our lunch.’
Harry got up to make his excuses and go. ‘I’m not really up for walks on the downs these days,’ he said, ‘so I’ll love you and leave you and snooze off my dinner in front of the box.’
‘Not with a whisky, I hope,’ said Ben.
‘Oh do stop fussing,’ said Harry, pottering off to the front door. ‘Thank you, Amy, my dear, for a lovely meal.’
He kissed her on the cheek, and opened the door. As he turned to go, he muttered under his breath, just so Amy could hear, ‘You’d do much worse than Ben, you know. I think it’s time to let go, don’t you?’
‘Oh get away with you, you old matchmaker,’ she said, pushing him out of the door.
‘Just remember, Amy,’ he said, ‘life’s really too short.’
She turned back into the house with a smile playing on her lips.
‘So now you’ve been here a while,’ said Ben, ‘are you glad you came out this way?’ They were on a picturesque path down by the river, and had walked past countless pretty little pink cottages. ‘Suffolk pink’, Ben had called it.
‘Absolutely,’ said Amy. ‘I can’t tell you how lovely it is to be out here after the hustle and bustle of the city. Just to smell this air is a joy.’
‘What, even here?’ Ben grinned as they meandered towards the water meadows where several cows were grazing, leaving a rather rich aroma behind them.
‘Even here,’ said Amy. ‘And thanks to those books you lent me I’m beginning to get a feel for the place. I found it fascinating learning about the wool industry here. I had no idea.’
‘Yup, it was pretty big in the eleventh century, so I believe,’ said Ben. ‘Which is why you get such big churches round here – they were all paid for by the wool industry.’
‘I was wondering why a town this size has such a huge church in the middle of it,’ Amy mused. ‘It could almost be a cathedral, couldn’t it?’
Pete and Saffron were up ahead. Somehow they had taken all the children between them, and while Saffron carried the baby on her back, Pete was pretending to be a cyberman and chasing the others. Which meant that Amy and Ben had been forced to walk together. Not that it was much of a hardship, thought Amy. And really, the others couldn’t have been more transparent if they’d tried.
‘Isn’t it just perfect out here?’ Amy continued. The path had broadened out now and they had left the river behind and were walking in woodland, where the children were now rushing about playing Robin Hood. The sun shone high in the sky, and though there was still a cold spring wind, the air was fresh and bright. It was a day for feeling vivid and alive. Everywhere you looked you could see people: families out walking, dog-walkers, couples holding hands, the occasional horse-rider.
Amy thought back to days like this that she had shared with Jamie. He was no longer by her side, but Ben was. It was time to grasp that future. She took Ben’s hand in hers.
‘Come on,’ she said. ‘I know why Saffron and Pete have gone ahead. Let’s give them something to talk about.’
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
‘Now, have you got everything you need?’ Saffron knew she was wittering, but she couldn’t
help it. When Gerry had gone on business trips, she couldn’t wait for him to go out of the door, but with Pete it was different. The taxi was coming for 5.30 a.m., and though Pete had said she didn’t need to get up, Saffron felt she had to squeeze the most out of even these last few remaining minutes together.
It was pathetic, really. She was behaving like a schoolgirl with her first crush, but they had barely spent a night apart since they were married, and now they faced a whole week. She was dreading it, but she didn’t want Pete to know how much, so was busying herself with mundane tasks to keep her mind off it. Pete was evidently getting rather irritated, as he had twice banned her from going through his suitcase again, just to make sure he had packed it properly.
‘I have done this before, you know. I may be a man, but I’m not totally incapable,’ said Pete. ‘I can tie my own shoelaces and everything.’
‘Ah, but “before” you didn’t have me,’ said Saffron. Then she looked contrite. ‘Sorry, I’m fussing, aren’t I?’
‘Yes,’ said Pete. ‘However, if you feel like part of the fussing should involve stroking the back of my neck to ease the inevitable tension that has arisen out of your demented behaviour, you have my permission to do so.’
‘Oh go on then,’ said Saffron, and started to tickle his hair and massage his neck. Before they knew it they were rolling on the bed, giggling like a pair of school kids.
They pulled apart, and Pete looked at her. ‘I’ll miss you,’ he said.
The look on his face sent a shiver of delight right through her. It still took her by surprise to know how much he needed her.
‘Give over,’ she said. ‘You’ll be so busy with your high-powered meetings you won’t even notice I’m not there.’
‘Ah, but the bed will be far too big without you,’ said Pete.
‘Won’t it just,’ Saffron agreed with feeling, and snuggled up to him again.
They broke off to the sound of a car beeping.
‘That’ll be the taxi, then,’ said Pete.
‘Yes, it will,’ Saffron agreed.
‘Right, best be off,’ said Pete, showing no signs of moving.
‘Yes, you had,’ Saffron replied.
They held each other for a few seconds more, then Pete shook his head. ‘No, really, I had better be off. I don’t want to miss my plane.’
She followed him downstairs, and saw him to the front door. She kissed him again, and waved him off with a sinking heart, trying to tell herself that it was only a week.
It might only be a week, but the way she felt watching him go, it could have been a lifetime. Plus, it would be the first time she was going to have to manage all three kids completely solo.
‘Thank the lord for helpful mothers,’ she said out loud as she went to make herself a cup of tea. At least she wouldn’t be totally alone.
‘That’s strange,’ Amy frowned as she snapped her mobile phone shut.
‘What’s strange?’ Saffron looked up from Linda Lovelace’s vast flowerbed – the job had been too much for just Amy, so Saffron had reluctantly come along to help. Amy still didn’t know about the pole-dancing lessons and Saffron intended to keep it that way.
‘Mrs Reeves has cancelled for the second week running. You know – she was the one I went out to on my own when your mum was ill. I went over, dug over the beds, did a bit of weeding, and she asked me to come back to do her hedges. But she’s just rung to say her nephew did them at the weekend and she won’t be needing me again. It seems so odd. She was really keen when I first went round.’
‘Not another one!’ Saffron put her trowel down and stood up.
‘What do you mean, not another one?’
‘God, Amy, I’m sorry, I should have mentioned it before, but I thought it was nothing. And then with Mum not being that great, and Pete being away, it slipped my mind …’
‘What did?’
‘The fact that we seem to be losing clients at a scarily rapid rate. Mrs Reeves isn’t the first. You remember how Mrs Turner rang up to cancel? Well, I’ve had others too.’
‘But why?’ protested Amy. ‘We offer a good service, at a good price. I thought the business was growing.’
‘So did I,’ said Saffron. ‘But something odd’s going on. It’s as if someone’s badmouthing us.’
‘But who would do that?’ said Amy. ‘And why?’
‘Oh, I’ve got an idea,’ said Saffron, looking grim, ‘but I don’t know how to prove it.’
Just then Saffron’s phone rang.
‘Hi,’ she said. ‘Oh, Mum, it’s you. Everything all right? What? Stay there. I’ll be with you right away.’
‘What’s the matter?’ Amy asked as Saffron frantically gathered her things together.
‘That was Mum,’ said Saffron. ‘She’s just thrown up blood in our bathroom. I think I need to get her to the hospital pronto.’
‘That’s awful,’ said Amy. ‘Go on, you’d better get over there straight away. I’ll finish here, and I’ll get the kids from school. What about Ellie? Shall I take her too?’
‘It’s okay, I’ll take her with me.’ Saffron looked distraught. ‘Oh God, Amy, if Mum’s really ill, what am I going to do?’
Later that day, Ben rang Amy’s doorbell, but there was no reply. Since her lunch party, he and Amy had only seen each other a few times. It was still all very casual. He came over occasionally at the weekend and played football with Josh, and the three of them went out for walks on Sundays. He and Amy didn’t get a lot of time alone, so they hadn’t done much more than hold hands and have the odd kiss, but it was cosy and comfortable, and, more importantly, he was growing used to it. She was normally in at this time on a Friday. It was odd that she wasn’t.
He should have tried to ring her, but he’d been busy all day and just popped in on the off-chance after work. A lazy sun was setting over the allotments, and the birds were chattering in the trees. Spring was definitely in the air. He knocked on Harry’s door – maybe he’d know where Amy had gone – but there was no reply there, either. He rang her mobile but it was switched off. Damn! Now what should he do?
He glanced at his watch. It was a bit early for Pete to be back from work, but occasionally he was. Perhaps he should call round there and see if he was up for a quick pint. He could always call back on Amy afterwards. And, thinking about it, there was a strong likelihood that Amy was with Saffron anyway.
‘Ben! Thank God you’re here,’ Amy greeted him with a kiss. A scene of total carnage met him. There were toys scattered all over the hall floor, Becky and Matt were arguing loudly by the stairs, a PlayStation was beeping equally loudly in a room to the left of him, and from the depths of the house he could detect the wailing of a baby.
‘Wha—? Where’s Pete? And Saffron?’
‘Pete’s away on a business trip. Back next week. Saffron’s mum was rushed to hospital yesterday morning– she’s just had an emergency gall bladder operaion.Saffron’s with her now. So Josh and I are holdin the fort and sort of camping out here for the weeken.’
‘Oh, right,’ said Ben. ‘Is Elizabeth okay?’
‘I think so,’ said Amy. ‘But it was a bit touch and go yesterday. Apparently she had a massive gall stone removed and lost a lot of blood. She’s still in ICU. Saffron’s been beside herself.’
‘God, I should think so,’ said Ben. ‘Poor Saff. Is there anything I can do?’
‘Unless you want to enter the pit of hell, no,’ said Amy. ‘I am so glad I only have one. The baby doesn’t seem to want to settle. The kids just keep fighting. And I haven’t even started on the dinner yet. I don’t know how Saffron does it.’
‘Why don’t I stay for a bit and help,’ said Ben. ‘I’ve got nothing better to do.’
‘Would you?’ Amy shot him a grateful look. ‘It’s been a bit wild to be honest. I don’t know how I’m going to cope for the weekend. Saffron came back really late from the hospital last night and it looks like she will again tonight.’
‘No probs,’ said Ben. ‘Why don
’t you go and sort Ellie out, and I’ll try and get this lot to tidy up a bit.’
‘If you can manage that, I’ll cook you dinner – and throw in wine,’ said Amy. ‘I have all the impact of a gnat.’
To Amy’s surprise, not only did Ben manage to get the kids to tidy away their toys, by dint of playing a rather noisy game in which he seemed to be impersonating a lion most of the time (even Becky, who had affected to be too old to join in, couldn’t help but be won over in the end), but he also took Ellie from Amy to let her cook dinner. He sat for ages, pulling silly faces and bouncing her on his knee, till by the time the food was ready, she was all smiley and cuddly, just the way babies should be.
‘That was nothing short of miraculous,’ Amy told him as she sat back and watched the children tuck into not-very-inspiring fish fingers and chips, but it was all she could manage to find in the freezer. Saffron evidently hadn’t done the shopping this week. ‘You’re a natural.’
She smiled as she said this. The sight of Ben holding the baby so calmly and with such affection had given her a real insight into the kind of dad he would be. Since Jamie she had assumed there would be no other children for her, but a sudden image came into her head of her and Ben holding a baby, with Josh bouncing around at their sides. Maybe it wasn’t impossible …
‘I’ve had some practice, with my brother’s kids,’ explained Ben. ‘Besides, I like babies. Ever since I did my obs and gynae bit at college. I usually volunteer for the baby clinic at the surgery. I’ve always wanted a family of my own.’
‘Have you now?’ said Amy teasingly, thinking there was undoubtedly something very sexy about a man who liked babies. Something very sexy indeed.
‘Sure have,’ said Ben, giving her a deeply flirtatious look, ‘I just need to find the right woman …’
‘And where do you think you’ll find her?’ Amy archly returned the look.
Pastures New Page 18