by S. Nelson
“I’m so sorry. Truly. Maybe he just wanted to make sure you were it for him before he told you?” I knew Sully was only trying to help, but she was inadvertently making it worse.
I rose from the couch while trying to keep my composure, and it was at that exact moment that Ryder walked through the door, amused at something Stone had said.
His eyes instantly found mine. He muttered something to the club’s VP before advancing toward me, but when he saw the irate and hurt look on my face, he stopped midstride.
“Braylen?”
“Don’t come near me,” I shouted. I hadn’t meant to cause a scene, but my temper escaped before I could rein it in. I clamped my mouth shut before hurrying off toward the back of the club, heading straight for his room. I prayed there was a lock on the door; otherwise, I couldn’t be held accountable for my actions if he came after me.
I heard Sully apologizing to him as I slammed the bedroom door with such ferocity I swore it shook the entire clubhouse.
Ryder
“Goddamnit, Sully. What were you thinking?” I paced back and forth. “This is why I keep my shit private,” I gritted, flashing everyone a pissed-off look even though I knew none of them deserved it. This was all on me.
“You better watch how you’re talkin’ to my wife,” Marek growled, appearing out of nowhere. “It’s not her fault you didn’t tell Braylen about your kid.”
Not acknowledging him or his truthful spewing, I hauled off toward the back of the club, knowing damn well I was the last person Braylen wanted to see. I had to deal with the issue before it escalated. Part of me wanted to leave it alone and get drunk, but the other part, the one that had developed feelings for the feisty woman, wanted to apologize and see if I could make things right between us. We’d been at odds for weeks, and I wanted the stress to stop. I had enough on my mind with the threat against the club; I needed to check her forgiveness off the ever-growing list.
Without knocking, I flung open the door to my assigned room and found her. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, the bag she’d packed resting on her lap.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I hadn’t meant to sound so gruff, but there was no way in hell she was leaving. Not until we’d eliminated the threat, which could take days.
“I’m not staying here.”
“You’re not leaving.”
She raised her head and glared at me. Clutching her bag tightly, she said, “You can’t keep me here against my will. That’s called kidnapping, Ryder. Look it up.”
“Well, then I’ll kidnap you if I have to. You’re not going anywhere.” She parted her lips to respond, but I took a step closer and cut her off. “I know you’re aware of the threat against us, and unfortunately that threat extends to you and your sister.” Underhanded move, but I had to use it. Her breath hitched. “So until we can take care of it, no one is allowed to leave.”
“You can leave.” It wasn’t a question.
“I have to help keep us safe, so yeah, I do get to leave.”
“That’s not fair,” she mumbled, fidgeting with her bag again before standing and walking across the room, farther away from me. I didn’t know if she thought by releasing the bag she was surrendering to her fate for the next few days, but she refused to let it go. “I want to be alone. You need to leave.”
“No.” I braced myself for impact. She’d been through a lot; surely all of her fear, anger, and uncertainty was gonna come bursting from her in the next few seconds.
“No?” she yelled, her mouth agape in astonishment. I wasn’t goin’ anywhere, not until I convinced her she was safe with us at the club. Not until I gained her forgiveness for not telling her about my daughter. Not until . . . fuck! I didn’t know what else I wanted from Braylen, but it sure as hell wasn’t for her to be standing so far away from me, looking at me like she didn’t know who the fuck I was. Admittedly, I had a lot of demons, personal and shared with the other men of the Knights, but I was just me. A man fumbling through life trying to find some goddamn meaning.
Braylen was the sliver of light in an otherwise dark and lonely world. I’d always had an inferno burning inside me my entire life, and the woman standing in front of me was the first person to ever calm me. I couldn’t explain it—I just knew she was it for me. I just had to convince her that I wanted her once and for all.
No more mixed signals.
No more thoughtless words.
No more secrets.
“Braylen,” I said softly, relaxing my tensed muscles before erasing some of the distance between us. “I need you to listen to me.”
“Listen to you? Why? Because you wanna lie some more?” Before I saw it coming, she launched her bag at me, hitting me in the chest and knocking me back a step. “Oh, sorry,” she spat sarcastically. “Not lie. Just omit everything!” Her voice rose a few octaves. If I didn’t calm her down, and fast, I knew our business was gonna be made public for the entire club to hear.
“Calm down.”
“No, I won’t calm down. You won’t share any of yourself with me. You refused to tell me why you attacked me in your sleep, and then you kept something as huge as having a child from me.” She backed up a step. “Do you know how that makes me feel? I know I may appear strong and brave, but I’m hurt.” Her bottom lip quivered, and it almost gutted me. “You hurt me,” she said softly. “You’ve basically told me that I mean nothing to you. That I’m just someone to pass the time with when you’re bored. Someone to have sex with when you’re horny.” A lone tear fell and she wiped it away with an irritated swipe of her finger.
“You know that’s not true.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.” I took a tentative step closer.
“Don’t” was all she said before lowering her head, breaking eye contact with me and essentially giving up.
“Braylen.”
Nothing. Not a single muscle moved in her body. I swore she held her breath as well.
“Braylen,” I said with more authority, hoping she’d hear something in my tone that would make her look at me.
Still nothing.
“Goddamnit, Braylen! Fuckin’ look at me.” Apparently when I shouted it worked.
She finally picked her head up, her stare cutting into me like a thousand knives. More tears streaked her cheeks, and I couldn’t stop myself. I rushed forward and pulled her into me before she could stop me, wrapping my arms around her so tightly I feared I’d bruise her ribs.
“Just let me go,” she cried, feebly trying to push me away, but I refused.
“I can’t.” She trembled in my arms. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” I promised, kissing the top of her head, continuing to crush her distraught body to mine. “No more secrets.”
It was in that moment that I fully let go, relieved I could finally share myself completely with someone. A ton of bricks dropped from me as I felt her nod against my chest.
Here goes nothin’.
Braylen
I sat on the edge of the bed while Ryder pulled up a chair so he could sit in front of me. Hesitancy stroked the air around him but he pushed on, taking a deep breath before he started to talk.
“You heard what I said back at your place, didn’t you?” His brown eyes bored into mine, searching for something I was unclear of in that moment. “Before you left me on the couch?”
I wanted him to be truthful with me, so I made sure to return the favor. “Yes.” Short and simple, yet it was anything but. Even though I had an idea he knew what my answer would be, he still looked a little shocked. He quickly regained his composure, wasting no more time before he told me what happened to his mother.
“Richard came into our lives when I was just five. From what I could remember he seemed okay, bringing me a toy whenever he visited, but it wasn’t long after they met that he moved in with us. And that’s when things changed. Most of my memories of him after that point are of him being drunk, and when he’d been drinking, he’d whale on my mo
ther. When I tried to help her, I got it too.”
I reached forward and captured his hands, offering him support while he worked up to the worst part. Even though I was still hurt, and angry with him, I knew I had to put all of my emotions aside and allow Ryder to tell me his story.
Breathless moments passed where the both of us remained silent, him working up the courage to tell me the reason he seemed so closed off and secretive, and me silently contemplating if I had the energy to forge ahead with a relationship with the very intense and complicated man sitting in front of me.
He loosened his hands from mine and pulled back, running them down his thighs in uncertainty. “One night it got really bad. I woke up to her screaming, and when I ran downstairs, I saw her on the ground, bleeding and clutching her stomach. I tried to save her, but I couldn’t. She begged me to go back to my room and I did.” He rose from the chair so fast it skidded behind him. “Fuck!” His fingers gripped his hair and I watched him slowly losing it. “If only I hadn’t gone down there that night, maybe she’d still be alive.”
“What do you mean? You just said he was beating her.”
“He was, but when I tried to help her, he came after me. Came up to my room and tried to—” He suddenly stopped talking, and I knew reliving his past tore him up inside. So I waited, giving him the time he needed before finishing. “Looking back, I think he was gonna rape me, and when my mother saw his pants unzipped, pinning me facedown, she screamed for him to leave me alone. That’s when he wrapped his belt around her neck and strangled her to death.”
A shocked gasp escaped me. I couldn’t stop it. Ryder muttering “I saw him kill my mom” when he was drunk did nothing to prepare me for the full story. I couldn’t even imagine what he went through, watching his mother’s life extinguished right in front of him.
“You were only trying to protect her. It’s not your fault. The only one to blame is him. Only him,” I repeated, hoping my words would break his irrational thought. I stood and tentatively approached him, his back to me as I walked up behind him. Resting my hand on the middle of his back, he flinched but then quickly relaxed.
Turning to face me, he looked emotionally beaten down. I knew it had been difficult, but I was thankful he’d finally told me, even after everything that’d happened between us.
“I wasn’t sure I wanted you in my life,” he announced. “Not permanently. After my mother’s death, I closed myself off from everyone, only giving people the bare minimum. I think that’s why I kept putting off telling you about my daughter.”
His confession hurt, but at least now I understood him a little more. “And now?”
He seized my hands and placed them on his chest. “Now I can’t imagine my life without you. I can’t explain the pull you have over me, but I know I don’t want to lose you. Ever.” He circled his arm around my waist and drew me forward. “Please forgive me for not telling you sooner.”
I looked deep into his eyes, drew his undivided attention because I needed him to really hear me. “I need some time to think about . . . us.”
His arm fell to his side and he took a step back, my hand sliding off his chest. Ryder looked distraught, but for as much as I wanted to wipe away his sadness, I needed to make sure forging ahead with him was what I truly wanted.
I completely understood what he meant by the pull that existed between us because I felt it as well. Attraction, chemistry and raw passion certainly weren’t an issue either. But could I trust him? Not only to continue to share himself with me, but with my heart?
I was in love with Ryder, but was it enough?
“Okay. Fair enough.” He strode toward the door, but I didn’t want him to leave just yet. So I decided to change the subject.
“Was there a puppy out there?” My question told him I was open to talking about something other than us, that I wanted to engage him while still taking the time I needed to process everything.
“Yeah,” he answered over his shoulder, his hand gripping the door handle. “Come on, let’s go see him.”
“What are you gonna name him?” I asked, accepting all of the puppy’s kisses and trying not to smother him because he was so damn cute. Ryder told me how he found him, and while my heart broke for the little guy, I wanted to find the asshole who discarded him so carelessly and beat the hell out of him myself.
“I’m not.”
“Why?”
“’Cause I’m not keepin’ him.” I looked at him like he was nuts, to which he said, “Bray, I can’t have a puppy. You know how much work they are?”
“And? What’s your point?” I passed the dog to Ryder, and without an ounce of hesitation, he took him, clutching him close to his chest. “You’ve already formed a bond with him. Don’t give him away.”
He didn’t answer because he knew what I said was true.
“I’ll take him,” Hawke yelled from across the room. “He’s a cute little fucker.” He laughed when Ryder turned around and gave him a threatening glance.
“See. You don’t wanna give him to anyone.”
“No, I just don’t want to give him to that jackass.”
“I heard that,” Hawke shouted before finishing off his drink.
“Good,” Ryder replied, a small smirk appearing on his gorgeous face. Looking back at me, he shrugged. “You’re right. Even though it’s only been a day, I’m already attached to him, but I don’t think I’m up for the commitment.”
“What if I help you?” I offered, surprised the words came out so freely.
So much for needing time to think about us.
“I thought you said you needed time to think about whether or not you wanted to be with me.” His voice lowered as he spoke, and I knew it was because he wanted to keep our conversation as private as possible.
“We still have a lot to work through. Namely you telling me all about your daughter—the full story—but I’m not going anywhere, Ryder.” I smiled and snatched the puppy from him, kissing his furry little head before walking toward the exit to take him outside. Ryder jogged until he caught up with me, smacking me on the ass as he ushered me forward.
Ryder
Six days the lockdown lasted.
Six days of knowing Braylen was safe.
Six days of not knowing if or when we’d ever catch the break we needed to finally move forward and put a plan in place to end the war between us and the Reapers once and for all.
“We got a hit,” Marek shouted as soon as he walked into the clubhouse. “Chambers. Now.” He strode into our meeting room and everyone present followed after him. The only ones missing were Stone and Breck. I knew our VP was in his room with Adelaide, and while I didn’t have to guess what they were doing, it was gonna have to be cut short because we had an impromptu meeting.
After making sure Braylen was still asleep in my room, I rapped on Stone’s door.
“Go away,” he barked, grunting incoherently while I continued to bang on the door. I really didn’t need to hear them goin’ at it, but I had no other choice. His presence was needed, and I wouldn’t walk away until he answered.
“Stone. Let’s go.”
“What the fuck?” I heard his heavy footsteps right before he yanked open the door, looking at me like he wanted to kill me. I could see Adelaide in the background, lying on the bed with tousled hair and the bedsheet pulled up to her neck. She was laughing, which only served to make me smile. “You better have a good reason, brother.”
“Marek wants everyone in Chambers. Now. Then you can go back to trying to satisfy your woman.” I moved back as he swung at me, practically tripping because he was using the door to shield his dick from view. “Let’s go, lover boy,” I shouted over my shoulder as I disappeared down the hallway.
Walking into Chambers, I could feel the tension and worry pouring off every member. We probably all had the same question popping around inside our heads: When the hell will all this end? Unfortunately, there was gonna be more bloodshed before it was all said and done.
Once Stone joined us, throwing me another annoyed look to which I just smiled, Marek grabbed everyone’s attention when he started to speak.
“I just got a call that a guy fitting the description of the one who attacked Braylen was spotted going into the Overbrook. He’s not alone, though. Two other guys are with him.” The Overbrook was a low-class stripper joint close to forty minutes away, a place we knew most of the Savage Reapers visited.
“Who called you?” Jagger asked, looking around the room and seeing everyone present except one man. “Breck?”
“Yeah,” Marek affirmed.
“So what now?” Cutter asked, his stare darkening and looking none too pleased that his son was close to the enemy without any backup. “Are we goin’ to get ’em? Just give me five minutes and they’ll spill their guts, literally and figuratively.”
Cutter wasn’t shy about torturing when the situation called for it, but I’d have to intercede on this one, for at least one of the Reapers. The fucker who dared to put his hands on Braylen was gonna die a slow and painful death, whether or not he gave us pertinent information on his club. His fate would be sealed as soon as we captured him.
“I know our club has been through a lot over the past year or so, and normally I’d tell ya to be patient. That the time to react should be planned out.” Marek slapped the table. “But fuck that!”
A few of the guys shouted, “Yeah!” while the rest of us just nodded. Of course, we’d follow whatever our prez said, but we couldn’t hide our excitement that we’d be able to do something about our predicament sooner rather than later.
Marek doled out instructions like he always did, forever the leader. “Jagger, Tripp, and Cutter, you’re goin’ to meet Breck. Call him to find out exactly where he is. You know enough to stay in the background, showing yourselves only when necessary.” He withdrew a plastic baggie from inside his cut, tossing the package on the table and sliding it toward where they sat. Trackers. “Put these on any of their bikes you see.” The devices were small, would be virtually undetectable by the human eye, but for as high tech as they would undoubtedly be, they would only last two weeks. Three, tops.