by Morgana Best
Janet rolled her eyes at Gemma. “Give her a break, Gemma. It’s Rose, not some legal client. Rose, what about the nuns?”
I shook my head. “There’s no evidence at all,” I admitted reluctantly.
“Did they find your car?”
“Yes, Adam found it. It was down the road about five miles.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t just some punks playing a bad prank? Why would they just leave you out in the middle of nowhere without taking your cell phone?” Janet asked.
“No cell service. It’s a known dead zone.” Gemma turned to look at me. “Emphasis on dead. Everyone knows that’s a bad area, Rose. You get a flat tire there, you can’t call roadside service.”
“So you told me.” I gave a thin smile. I knew this was Gemma’s way of showing how worried she was, but I had a feeling I was going to be driven crazy for the next few weeks about hiring a six foot tall, three hundred pound gorilla to help load furniture and scare away would-be criminals. Gemma didn’t believe in doing anything halfway.
“Rose, Rose, Rose!” Bunny ran up to us in excitement and shook my arm. “Could I borrow a dollar? Just one. I promise to get it back.”
What was this with everybody and dollars tonight? Was I suddenly a personal ATM machine? “Sorry Bunny, I’m all out.”
“Oh no.” Bunny pouted and at once commenced frantically navigating through the stolen grapes and nuts in her purse. “Maybe he’ll take less? What do you think? How much do you pay them, anyway?”
“Are you buying something?” I asked. Come to think of it, why would anything on display here be a dollar?
“The show is finally here!” Bunny said, as she triumphantly brandished a crumpled up five dollar bill from amongst the stolen food. “And what a show! You were right, Rose, these art exhibitions and shows are great.”
“Bunny, the art exhibition is the show,” Janet said patiently.
“No, the hot male stripper is definitely the show,” Bunny said with a coy grin before hurrying across the floor toward the doorway, waving the money over her head while making cat calls.
Everyone turned to look.
A hot stripper? What in the world? I looked over at the doorway. My jaw fell open as I saw a familiar face in a fire suit, slowly backing up from a gyrating, dancing Bunny as she tried to get up close and personal with him.
“Oh my gosh, it’s Adam,” I said, causing my friends to get whiplash looking from him to me, then back to him again.
“Adam’s a stripper?” Gemma demanded.
“I thought he was a journalist?” Janet asked.
“No, he’s not,” I said, clutching my throat.
“He’s not a journalist?” Gemma said in an accusing tone. “You said he was a journalist!”
“He’s not a stripper!” I jumped up and headed for Bunny. A small crowd had gathered to watch the spectacle. Bunny had Adam pressed into a corner and was trying to unbutton his shirt, all the while dancing like an overly enthusiastic pole dancer and making loud cat calls.
I managed to grab Bunny’s arm in the nick of time just before she thrust the five dollar note into his trousers. “Bunny, he’s not a stripper. He’s my friend, Adam — he’s actually a real fireman.”
I took the pouting and unhappy Bunny by the arm and pulled her away from the very uncomfortable looking Adam who was clutching his fireman’s suit around him. His face was beet red.
It took a minute to calm things down and apologize to the event organizers for the ruckus. Thankfully, Gemma and Janet were well versed in chaos control with their lines of work. Soon the party was back to normal, though we were on the receiving end of many disapproving looks after Bunny’s scene.
“Sorry I’m late.” Adam gave a nervous laugh as Gemma and Janet stared at him. “I tried to get here as fast as I could. Yesterday and today we had orientation, but then there was a call out we had to go to.”
“What job is that?” Janet asked skeptically, eyeballing the fireman suit.
“Volunteer bush fire brigade.” He smiled and gave me an apologetic look. “I think I left my phone in the locker. I was in such a rush to get here that I didn’t have time to change. I was half afraid you’d given up on me getting here.”
“Oh, don’t worry. For you, we’ll consider it fashionably late,” Gemma said with a star-struck smile.
“Says the woman complaining about presidents and deli meat,” Janet quipped, apparently unable to resist even in front of Adam.
“Adam, these are my best friends, Gemma and Janet.” I gestured to my friends. “And you’ve met Bunny.”
I watched everyone exchange greetings with him with a small sense of relief. It wasn’t exactly how I had imagined their meeting to be, but it seemed to be going well — apart from the whole Bunny thing, of course.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you ladies, finally. Rose has told me a lot about you,” Adam said politely, as he tugged on the collar of his fire suit. “If you’ll excuse me, I’d better go home and change. Rose, I just wanted to make an appearance to tell you I’d be late. I’ll be back in five minutes.”
“Me-ow-ow-yowza. Rose, if I gave him that twenty, do you think he’d let us watch him change?” Gemma asked teasingly as Adam disappeared through the door to get his clothes.
I laughed and gave Gemma a light slap on the arm. “Behave.”
“Oh, he’d look fantastic in our yoga class.” Janet’s eyes looked glassy as she studied the closed door through which Adam had just vanished. “Rose, you two have to join our yoga class. I’ll even provide the mat and clothes.”
I sighed.
Chapter 14.
Adam shook his head for what seemed to me to be the hundredth time in the last hour. He held his hands up in front of his body and took a step back, but then he was pressed against the wall of my living room, and he had nowhere else to go.
“No way,” he said. “Why can’t you do it?”
“Because I’m a girl, silly,” I said.
“That’s great, because it’s a nun costume,” Adam said, nodding now. “So it would look fine on you.”
I held the plastic bag in my hand. It was a Halloween costume, but it looked pretty good judging by the picture on the cardboard rectangle.
“Actually it’s perfect for you,” I said, holding the bag out to him. “All of the nuns in this town are men pretending to be women, remember?”
“Yeah, but I don’t wear dresses. Or make up.”
“It’s a habit,” I said with a laugh, “not a dress. Anyway, you said that the best shot we had of catching these guys was getting our hands on the convent’s mail.”
Adam finally knew he was beat. He didn’t shake his head any longer. His chin fell to his chest as he sighed. “Defeated,” he said softly, and then laughed.
I had bought the Halloween nun costume on eBay a few weeks ago, figuring it might come in handy at some point. I hadn’t been planning anything in particular, but one night I’d been up late surfing the web and it had dawned on me that it might be useful one day. I’d gone ahead and ordered one.
And now my efforts hadn’t been in vain. Adam took the bag and tore the plastic open with his white teeth. I had noticed how white his teeth were multiple times before. They were so perfect that I always thought maybe he had shares in Crest. I could picture him in ads, his face in an issue of Cosmo next to a tube of toothpaste, his lips curled into his unique smile, his shining white teeth lighting up the glossy page. Maybe someone would even photoshop a little star shaped sparkle onto one of his teeth, near the corner of his smile.
Adam reached into the now open bag and pulled out the habit. It was in two pieces, the robe-like body part and the black and white cover for the head. Adam stood and pulled it over his head and then pulled the head part on.
“So how do I look?” he asked.
I laughed. “Heavenly.”
“Ha, ha.” Adam said, but then he actually laughed, unable to keep up his pretense at being annoyed.
“Make up time,” I
said. I had brought out a few things and I placed them on the table. I grabbed a tube.
“What’s that?” he asked, leaning backward in protest.
“Concealer. I know the guys at the convent use it — you can see it caked on their faces. They’re trying to hide their wrinkles and facial hair, but they don’t do a good job. So we’ll copy that.”
Adam sighed. “Are you telling me not only do I have to wear makeup, but I have to wear intentionally bad make up?”
I laughed. “Are you going to bail if I say yes?”
“No, this is important.”
“Not only is it important,” I said, “but it’s really, really funny.”
“Yeah, yeah, let’s get this over with, all right?”
“Okay.”
I leaned forward and got to work. It took me close to half an hour before I was satisfied. I wanted the makeup to look bad, as if a man had done it himself, and it was hard to get my practiced hand to betray me. Nevertheless, Adam finally looked like a proper mess. There was too much eye shadow, and blusher under his cheekbones. It wasn’t even close to looking good.
Adam stood and went to the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror.
“This is terrible,” he shrieked.
“I know, isn’t it great?”
Adam came back into the living room, his shoulders slouched, his head down, fully in the posture of a man defeated. “Can we just go get this over with?”
“All right, don’t get your habit in a bunch,” I said, and then I burst into laughter. Soon Adam was joining me.
“So what’s the plan?” Adam asked.
“You go in, ask for the mail. Simple as that.”
Adam rubbed his face. “And what if they don’t buy it?”
“Why wouldn’t they buy it?”
“I don’t know,” Adam said. “But what if they don’t?”
“Well if they don’t, run,” I said, trying to crack a joke. “What’s the worst that could happen? If they don’t think you’re a nun, so what?”
“I don’t know, maybe they call the police? Or what if I go in to get their mail, and one of the nuns is already in there. He sees me — he knows I’m not really one of them. And then it’s lights out, isn’t it? These aren’t good guys.”
I couldn’t help but let my mind travel to the other night, when I was almost killed by the gang. “I know,” I said softly.
Adam obviously realized what I was thinking about, and he stepped forward. He placed his hand on my shoulder, and I stood, turning toward him. I leaned forward and he did too, and he wrapped his strong arms around me as I began to cry. We stood like that in my small living room for some time, me shaking and crying, and him just holding me, his head bowed so his chin rested on my head.
Finally I was done crying and I stepped back, smiling softly as I craned my neck and looked up to Adam. I wiped away my tears with my sleeve. “Sorry,” I said softly.
Adam shook his head. “Don’t be sorry,” he said. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. Really, I’m the one who should be saying sorry. I keep pulling you into this mess.”
“It’s all kind of scary, isn’t it?” I said.
Adam nodded.
“Are you scared?”
Adam thought for a minute. “A little. These are bad guys, we know that. And after what they did to you — well, I guess I’m just worried, you know?”
“About me?” I asked.
“About both of us,” Adam said. “Not scared, but worried.”
I nodded, sniffing back more tears.
“You know, when I was a kid, I was in a car accident. My mother was driving, and we were on the highway, and one of our tires blew out. The car spun off the road, and down this big hill along the side, and at the bottom of the hill, where it straightened out, the car flipped. We were on the roof. My mother got knocked out — somehow she hit her head. She was alive — she’s fine now, but at the time, I mean, I was only eight,” Adam said.
I waited for him to continue. I could tell he wanted to say more about it.
“I was in the back seat, hanging upside down. I couldn’t get my seat belt off. It was so long ago but I remember it like it was yesterday. I’ll never forget it. I remember the seat belt cutting into my leg — it hurt. I wanted to get out. I kept calling for my mom, but she didn’t answer me. People came, pretty quickly, but the car was all banged up and they couldn’t crawl in to get me out. So I hung there and they talked to me and someone left to call someone for help. It took a while. Finally they came, men, fire fighters, and they had to cut the car open to get me out. And they got my mom out, but before all of that, just hanging there, I was scared and I was worried. I felt like something bad was going to happen. I felt like it wasn’t over.”
I nodded. “And that’s how you feel now?”
Adam looked at me and nodded, too. “Yes. I feel like it isn’t over — I feel like something bad is going to happen.”
I felt sick to my stomach. “Is it?”
Adam shrugged. “I don’t know. But I thought that way in the car, and nothing bad happened. Someone came, and they got me out. So perhaps I’m worried for nothing.”
“I hope you are,” I said quietly. “I hope this is as bad as it gets.”
We were both silent for a long while, and then I took a deep breath, pulling myself back together. “It’s hard to take you seriously while you look like that,” I said.
Adam laughed. “Let’s go get the mail then.”
Chapter 15.
Adam entered the post office first. He had driven himself in his Jeep, and I had followed him in my car. I pulled up to a space at the front of the building.
I walked inside and pretended to look at the merchandise for sale. There was a small line and I saw Adam queue up at the end of the line. He kept his head angled down, his hands clasped in front of him. There was a man in a ball cap and dirty work shirt in front of him, and he kept turning and glancing at Adam. I didn’t know whether the man thought that Adam was the ugliest woman he had ever seen, or that he was clearly a man dressed as a nun. Either way I just hoped the man didn’t do anything other than stare.
After Adam had waited in line for five minutes, and was the next one up, I got in line three people behind Adam. I was going to pretend that I needed to buy stamps, but I was just there to make sure nothing happened. If something started to go wrong, I was going to help in any way I could.
There was only one woman at the post office counter, of course, right smack dab in the middle of the day. The woman was older, with a shock of white hair curled high upon her head. She smiled widely to each customer and chatted. Soon the man in the ball cap was done, having posted his large package, and then it was Adam’s turn.
Adam walked slowly to the counter and everyone in line behind him stepped forward a few feet. I leaned forward, so I could hear the conversation Adam was about to have.
“Hello, Sister,” the old woman at the counter said loudly. I noticed that the woman barely even looked at Adam.
“I need the mail for the convent,” Adam said softly.
“Oh, it’s in the convent’s P.O. Box,” the woman said, already turning to call forward the next customer.
“I forgot the key. Actually Sister Maria has misplaced it.”
The woman stopped what she was doing and looked at Adam. “Misplaced it?” Her tone was stern.
“Yes,” Adam said in his soft voice, doing as best he could to sound like a woman.
“Well, we can issue another one, but it will take some time.”
“I’m sure we’ll find it,” Adam said, “but we needed to get our mail today, and I was wondering if there was anything you could do to help us out.”
The old woman hesitated for a moment and then smiled and nodded, probably spurred on by the habit. No one could turn a nun down for a favor, could they? “All right, I’ll get it for you.”
“Thank you so much.”
The woman left and disappeared behind a door. She r
eappeared shortly after, and handed some envelopes to Adam. He thanked her again and left, shooting a look at me as he walked past.
I waited in line and bought the stamps, and then hurried outside and drove back home. Adam was parked outside, the habit already off. He had tried to rub the makeup away, but I was going to have to give him a lot of cleanser to remove it. He came over with the envelopes as I unlocked the door to my apartment.
We hurried upstairs and into the kitchen. I filled a pot with water and set it upon the stove before going into my bathroom to fetch a jar of cleanser and a small facial sponge. “Put this on your face,” I said, handing over the jar and sponge.
Steam was already rising from the pot and I took the first letter in my hand. The envelope was addressed to the covenant, specifically to Sister Maria, in shaky handwriting. The return address was listed simply as ‘Vatican City’.
I held the envelope over the steam and before long I was able to pull open the seal on the envelope. I pulled out a single sheet of paper and read it while Adam looked over my shoulder. The note was short and sweet. It read:
Thank you for providing the finances for me to go to Rome. It really is a wonder to see it all with my own eyes. Enjoying my time, and finding myself being drawn ever closer to God. This trip has meant the world to me. Thinking of you, and God Bless,
Sister Bertrand.
“So Sister Maria wasn’t lying after all,” I said with great relief. “I thought they might’ve killed poor Sister Bertrand.”
Adam sighed. “Well it’s nice to know that they’re not entirely evil.” He took up the only other envelope and held it over the steam.
“Here we go,” Adam said, when he had pulled out the paper inside. Once again, it was a single sheet of paper, but this one was certainly more juicy than the first letter.
Bring the diamond, I have the 70 grand. Meet me behind the fire station in West Springs, Tuesday the eleventh at ten. Let’s just get this done.
Jack.
“Who is Jack?” Adam asked me.
“Not a clue,” I said, “but I know where West Springs is. It’s an hour and a half from here. Real small town. A few houses up on a hill. There’s a fire station at the bottom, and a public toilet.”