“You may believe otherwise if you like, superior sir, but I really must assure you that I did not hatch from my eggshell yesterday,” Gorppet said stiffly. “I do know that Big Uglies will lie whenever it suits their interest to do so—and sometimes, I think, just for the sport of it. And . . .” His voice trailed off. He didn’t go on with whatever he’d been on the point of saying. Whatever it was, in fact, he forgot all about it. He started to laugh instead.
“And what is so funny?” Hozzanet asked. “Give me something to make me laugh, too, if you would be so kind. I could use a good laugh, by the Emperor.” He cast down his eye turrets.
So did Gorppet, who then answered, “It shall be done, superior sir. It just occurred to me: I believe I have the proper tool for persuading this particular Tosevite to listen to me and to do my bidding, or some of it.”
“Tell me,” Hozzanet urged. “Such a claim is usually all the better for proof. I do not think this likely to prove an exception to the rule.”
“I agree, superior sir,” Gorppet said. “Consider, though. When we first met Drucker, in whose company was he? In whose friendly company was he? Why, that of Mordechai Anielewicz.” He pronounced the Tosevite name with care. “And who is Mordechai Anielewicz? A leader of the members of the Jewish superstition in the subregion called Poland. The ideology of Drucker’s superiors requires permanent hatred for members of the Jewish superstition. If those superiors were to learn from us that he had violated their fundamental rule . . .”
He waited for Hozzanet’s judgment. If he’d missed something obvious, the other male would take sardonic pleasure in letting him know about it. But Hozzanet bent into the posture of respect, a very sizable compliment when from superior to inferior. “That is good. That is quite good,” he said, and added an emphatic cough. “By all means, make your telephone call. We may realize considerable profit from it. Blackmail is liable to prove more effective than friendship. This is Tosev 3, after all.”
“I thank you, superior sir,” Gorppet said. He had no trouble telephoning Flensburg. The Race often needed to do so, to tell Deutsch officials what to do. Even though he spoke none of the local Big Uglies’ language, he was quickly connected to Johannes Drucker: plenty of Deutsche, especially those involved with communication, could use the language of the Race. The line was voice-only, but he didn’t mind that; he was not good at interpreting Tosevite facial expressions.
“I greet you, superior sir,” Drucker said once the connection went through. “How may I help you?”
He doubtless meant, How may I hinder you? Big Uglies were not immune to polite hypocrisy. Gorppet said, “I congratulate you on your promotion. And I believe I should also congratulate you on recovering your mate and hatchlings. Is that not a truth?”
“Yes, that is a truth,” the Tosevite replied. “No harm in admitting it now.”
“I hope they are all well?” Gorppet said.
“Yes,” Drucker said again. “I thank you for asking.”
“I suppose you want them to stay well?” Gorppet said. “You must, after searching so long and hard to find them.”
This time, Drucker paused before answering. Gorppet had not thought him a fool. When he did speak again, what he said was, “I do not care for the way this conversation is going. What is your point?”
“My point is that I hope I will not have to tell anyone about your recent friendship with Mordechai Anielewicz,” Gorppet replied. “I believe that would be unfortunate for all concerned. Do you not agree?”
Silence stretched a good deal longer now. At last, Drucker said, “In the language of the Race, I cannot call you all the vile names I am thinking in my own language. I wish I could. What do you want from me in exchange for your silence?”
He caught on quickly, all right. Gorppet said, “Is it not a truth that your government seeks to conceal weapons that should have been surrendered to the Race?”
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” the Big Ugly said.
“No? That will probably mean I shall have to make some other telephone calls,” Gorppet said.
Drucker spoke in his own language. Gorppet didn’t understand a word, but it sounded impassioned. Then Drucker returned to the language of the Race: “You will want me to betray my own not-empire. That is very hard for me to do.”
“The choice is yours,” Gorppet said.
Another long silence. “You will hear from me from time to time,” Drucker said, breaking it. “You will not hear from me very often, or I would give myself away.”
“I understand,” Gorppet said. “I think we may have a bargain. Do not forget your obligation, or the bargain will come undone. I warn you now. I do not intend to warn you again.”
“I understand,” Drucker said, and broke the connection with what struck Gorppet as altogether unnecessary violence.
But that was neither here nor there. Turning to Hozzanet, Gorppet said, “I believe he is recruited. The true test, of course, will be in what he reveals. If he fails us . . .” He shrugged. “If he fails us, he will pay the price.”
“He will deserve it, too,” Hozzanet said.
Before Gorppet could reply, his telephone hissed. It was another voice-only connection with a Tosevite on the other end. “I greet you,” the Big Ugly said. “Mordechai Anielewicz speaking here.”
“And I greet you,” Gorppet said in some surprise. “I was just talking about you, as a matter of fact. How may I help you?”
“You need to know something has gone missing,” the Jewish leader answered.
“Do I?” Gorppet thought for a moment. “In that case, I probably also need to know what has gone missing—is that not a truth?”
“Yes,” Anielewicz said. “That is a truth.” He used an emphatic cough.
When the Big Ugly didn’t say anything more, Gorppet realized he would have to prompt him. He did: “Will you tell me what has gone missing, or did you put this telephone call through to tantalize me?”
Mordechai Anielewicz sighed, a sound much like that a male of the Race might have made. “I will tell you. You will have heard, I suppose, that the Jews of Poland possess an explosive-metal bomb captured from the Deutsche years ago, at the end of the first round of fighting.”
“I have heard this, yes,” Gorppet replied. “I do not know whether it is a truth or not, but I have heard it.” His tailstump lashed in sudden alarm. “Wait. Are you telling me—?”
“I am telling you that we do indeed possess this bomb,” Anielewicz said. “Or rather, I am telling you that we did possess it. At the moment, we do not. By we here, I mean the organized group of Jewish fighters who have held it for all these years.”
Gorppet’s head started to ache. “Do you mean to say than an explosive-metal bomb has been stolen?” That got Hozzanet’s complete, and horrified, attention. “If you do not have it, who does?” That seemed a good question with which to start.
“There is no sign of violence in the place where it was kept,” the Tosevite replied. “This leads me to believe some of my fellow Jews have taken it, and not Poles or Russians or Deutsche.”
“I see,” Gorppet said. “And what would Jewish hijackers be likely to do with an explosive-metal bomb?” He answered that for himself: “They would be likely to bring it here, into the Reich, and try to use it against the Deutsche, against whom they have strong motivation for seeking vengeance.”
“That is also my belief,” Mordechai Anielewicz said. “If the Deutsche still have any explosive-metal weapons of their own hidden away, they might be provoked into using them against you—and against us in Poland—if such a bomb destroyed one of their cities without warning.”
“So they might,” Gorppet said unhappily.
“I am sorry for the inconvenience,” the Big Ugly said. “I do not know for a fact that the bomb can still burst. But I do not know for a fact that it cannot, either. We have tried to maintain it over the years. It is large and heavy. In my measure, it weighs about ten tonnes.” He translated that into
the Race’s units.
Gorppet thought he must have made a mistake. “Are you sure?” he asked. “That seems an impossibly large weight.”
But Anielewicz answered, “Yes, I am sure. Tosevite technology with these weapons was primitive in those days. We have improved since. That is our way, you will recall.”
“Yes. I do recall,” Gorppet said tonelessly. A hopeful thought occurred to him: “You Tosevites have many different languages. Would Jews in the Reich give themselves away by how they speak?”
“No,” Anielewicz said. “I am sorry, but no. Yiddish, our tongue, is close to the Deutsch language as is, and many Jews are fluent in that language itself.”
“Splendid.” Gorppet turned an eye turret toward Hozzanet. “By the spirits of Emperors past, superior sir, what do we do now?”
“They let someone wander off with an explosive-metal bomb?” Atvar spoke in tones of extravagant disbelief. Extravagant disbelief was exactly what he felt. Even for Big Uglies, that struck him as excessive. “They do not know who? They do not know when? They do not know where? They do not know how?”
“It must have happened during the fighting in Poland, Exalted Fleetlord,” Pshing replied. “Things were chaotic then, you must admit.”
“Whose side are you on?” Atvar snarled. “I would not mind so much if another Deutsch city vanished from the map, but I fear the Deutsch Big Uglies could still retaliate against us. No matter what they claim, I find it unlikely that they have surrendered all of their explosive-metal weapons.”
“Another round of fighting would leave the Deutsche extinct,” his adjutant remarked.
“I wish they were extinct now,” Atvar said. “But they have been damaged enough not to be dangerous at the moment, and the one set of reasonably reliable Tosevite allies we have had, the Jews of Poland, have turned on us.”
“They did not mean to do so,” Pshing said.
“I do not care what they meant to do.” The fleetlord was in a perfect fury of temper. “They are letting their own private, trivial feuds influence the policy of the Race. That is intolerable—intolerable, do you hear me, Pshing?”
“Yes, Exalted Fleetlord,” Pshing answered. “But what will you do? What can we do?”
That was a different sort of question. It painfully reminded the fleetlord that the intolerable was all too often commonplace on Tosev 3, and that the Race’s policies here had to pay far more notice to the Big Uglies’ whims and superstitions than anyone would have imagined possible before the conquest fleet set out from Home. “We have to try to get the bomb back,” Atvar answered. “That much is obvious, but if we fail there, we also have to convince the Deutsche that we did not detonate it.”
“That will be difficult,” his adjutant said. “It also may not help much. The Deutsche dislike the Jews as much as the Jews dislike them.”
“Both those points, unfortunately, are truths,” Atvar said. “And the not-emperor of the Deutsche is sure to blame us for anything the Jews do.” The Big Ugly named Dornberger would have reason to do so, too, but the fleetlord chose not to dwell on that.
“Will you warn the Deutsche this bomb may be on their territory?” Pshing asked. “I gather from the reports that the weapon is anything but inconspicuous.”
“Until we have more definite information, I believe I will keep quiet,” the fleetlord answered. “One more truth is that I would not be altogether dismayed to see the Deutsche punished further, so long as they fail to avenge themselves on us. It is not as if they fail to deserve it.”
“The variable being whether we can escape their vengeance in the aftermath,” Pshing said.
“Yes. The variable,” Atvar agreed. That was a nice, bloodless way to ponder whether thousands or tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of members of the Race might become radioactive dust on account of the reckless actions of a handful of headstrong Big Uglies. He sighed. No male since the unification of the Empire had had worries even remotely like his.
He skimmed the report again. The occupiers were doing what they could in secret to help the Jews find their missing bomb. How much was that? How secret was it? The report didn’t say. The fleetlord took that as a bad sign.
And then the telephone hissed. “If that is Fleetlord Reffet, tell him I just jumped out the window,” Atvar said to Pshing. “Tell him I have joined the Muslim superstition and am at prayer so I cannot be disturbed. Tell him anything. I do not wish to talk to him now.”
“It shall be done, Exalted Fleetlord,” Pshing said, and went off to do it. Atvar was one of the few members of the Race prominent enough to have another individual to block nuisances from him. Most males and females had to make do with electronics. He let out a self-satisfied hiss, enjoying the privilege.
But it turned out not to be the fleetlord of the colonization fleet. Pshing’s image appeared on Atvar’s monitor. “Exalted Fleetlord, it is Senior Science Officer Tsalas,” Atvar’s adjutant said. “He maintains that the matter about which he would speak to you is of some urgency. Shall I put him through?”
“Yes, by all means,” Atvar replied. “Tsalas is not one to start laying eggs out of mating season.” He winced after speaking. That slang expression for getting excited over nothing was perfectly good back on Home, but how much meaning would it have here on Tosev 3 in a few generations if he couldn’t suppress the ginger trade?
Pshing vanished from the screen, to be replaced by an elderly, studious-looking male. “I greet you, Exalted Fleetlord,” Tsalas said.
“And I greet you, Senior Science Officer,” Atvar replied. “My adjutant tells me something urgent has come up. What is it?” He wondered if he really wanted to know. Urgent matters on Tosev 3 spelled trouble more often than not.
But Tsalas made the affirmative gesture. Atvar braced himself for the worst. It didn’t come, at least not right away. The science officer said, “You will have been advised of the large meteoric impact on Tosev 4 not long ago?”
“Oh, yes.” Atvar used the affirmative gesture, too. “This solar system, by everything I have been able to gather, is much more untidy than that of Home. It seems a fitting place to have hatched the Big Uglies.”
Tsalas laughed. “That no doubt holds a good deal of truth, Exalted Fleetlord. But there are data to suggest that this impact was not altogether the result of chance.”
“I do not understand,” Atvar said. “What else could it have been?”
“None of our probes out in the belt of minor planets between Tosev 4 and Tosev 5 noticed anything out of the ordinary among the American Big Uglies working there,” the science officer said. “But a new probe traveling toward that belt had its forward camera operating, and caught . . . this.”
His face vanished, to be replaced by a view of space and stars. Off to the right of the screen, a new star, not very bright, suddenly came to life. After Atvar watched it for a little while, he saw that it was moving against the stars in the background. “That is a rocket motor!” he exclaimed.
The display winked out. Tsalas reappeared. “Truth, Exalted Fleetlord,” he said. “That is a rocket motor, and one of considerable power, or the probe would not have noticed it at such a long distance. I sped up the video for you to help you grasp its nature more quickly.”
“But what motor is it?” the fleetlord asked. “It cannot belong to either of the two American spaceships now in the belt of minor planets, or the probes already there would have seen this burn. What are the Big Uglies doing?”
“I am not certain,” Tsalas replied. “No one is certain—no one not an American Tosevite, at any rate. But it seems likely that the motor accelerated a good-sized chunk of rock from its normal orbit among the minor planets and toward the more inward regions of this solar system. It seems likely, in fact, that our outbound probe happened to catch the launch of this chunk of rock toward its eventual collision with Tosev 4.”
“But Tosev 4 is an utterly worthless world,” Atvar said. “Why would anyone, even Big Uglies, be so addled as to bombard it w
ith meteors?”
“Perhaps,” Tsalas said gently, “to give them practice in hitting other, more inherently valuable, targets.”
That needed a moment to sink in. When it did, Atvar let out a hiss of unadulterated horror. “You are telling me that they could bombard us here on Tosev 3 from out in the belt of minor planets,” he said.
“I believe so, yes, Exalted Fleetlord.” Tsalas sounded no happier than Atvar felt. “I apologize for not bringing this to your notice sooner. Connecting several apparently unrelated pieces of data took longer than it should have. On the other fork of the tongue, perhaps we should count ourselves lucky that the connection was made at all. The American Tosevites plainly intended to keep it secret from us.”
“Yes. Plainly,” Atvar said. “And we shall have to see about that, too. Indeed we shall. I thank you, Senior Science Officer. I believe you may well have done the Race a great service.” He listened with some small part of one hearing diaphragm to Tsalas’ thanks, then broke the connection and shouted, “Pshing!”
His adjutant rushed into the office. “What is it, Exalted Fleetlord?”
“Summon the American ambassador to me this instant. This instant, do you hear?” Atvar said. “I do not care what that Big Ugly is doing. I do not care if he is eating. I do not care if he is mating. I do not care if he is standing in front of a mirror and watching his hair grow. I want him here at once. No delay, no excuse, is to be tolerated. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Exalted Fleetlord. It shall be done, Exalted Fleetlord.” Pshing fled.
Henry Cabot Lodge arrived quite promptly, even if not so soon as Atvar might have wished. “I greet you, Exalted Fleetlord,” he said, his accent thick but understandable. “What can I do for you today? I gather from your adjutant that the business is urgent, whatever it may be.”
“You might say so,” Atvar answered. “Yes, you might say so. How does the United States dare to prepare to bombard Tosev 3 from the belt of minor planets between Tosev 4 and Tosev 5?”
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