The Sinful Count

by Amaya Evans

  He heard a noise and saw the door slowly open and a small figure came in. The figure crossed the room silently and took a book from a shelf.

  Isaac knew that Angustias had not seen him sitting on the couch but when she turned to leave, she faced forward and noticed him. A small scream escaped from her mouth.

  “Calm down. It is just me.”

  “You scared me. I hadn´t seen you.”

  “I know.” Isaac observed Angustias standing in front of him. She wore a nightgown. Her hair was loose and fell to her waist. Her white skin seemed to shine with the faint light of the fireplace and contrasted against the black color of her hair. Her emerald green eyes were fixed on him, watching the count with curiosity.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked.

  “No, I just want you to sit with me for a little while.”

  She seemed to evaluate the possibility for a long time. Then, she approached her husband slowly. Isaac tapped the cushion next to him, signaling for her to take a seat.

  “How is your bedroom? Did you find everything to your liking?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  “I know you weren’t feeling well on the carriage ride here. Was it because of your mother?”

  “No, I don’t want to speak about that. Please.”

  “Very well.” Isaac stroked her shoulder with one finger.

  Angustias got goosebumps at his touch.

  “I think you are cold. I will fix that in a moment.” Isaac stoked the fire. When he returned to her side, he put an arm around Angustias’ shoulder. Angustias looked at him like he was going to jump on top of her.

  “Calm down. I am not going to do anything. I would not force you to do something you don’t want to do.” His face was close to hers and Isaac could not stop himself from kissing her. The kiss was delicate at first but Angustias forgot to breathe under the strength of his kiss. His lips caressed her with intensity and his scent invaded her senses. It was a combination of tobacco and cedar. He forced her mouth to open for him and a wave of emotions threatened to reach a boiling point. Angustias didn’t feel like herself. She was dizzy and an overwhelming feeling of pleasure ran throughout her body. It made her want more while her body trembled. Isaac’s tongue deepened in her mouth. It made Angustias’ heart beat strongly inside her chest. She felt it was about to explode. It was wonderful, tender, and intense at the same time. It left her without the ability to think. The only thing she could do after his kiss was sigh and hold onto him. Isaac remained motionless for a while. He held her in his arms and Angustias kept thinking how she could have thought she could live with this man under the same roof without ending up in his bed.

  A little while later, Isaac moved away. He needed to put some distance between them or he would end up seducing her and that was not what he wanted. Something told him that if he did that there was a chance that he would get used to it and that would be bad for her and him. He was used to doing things the way he wanted and living in the manner that he wanted, without someone interfering.

  “I am sorry. I should not have done that.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have.” Angustias felt hurt by his reaction. For a moment she had thought that something could happen between them but then she scolded herself for the foolish desire that it could happen. When she didn’t want a husband and all that it entailed. She wanted her freedom. Angustias stood up and without saying a word left the room.

  CHAPTER 5

  The next morning Angustias explored the surrounding areas. She was a bit tired on her return home. She saw a rider fast approaching and as the rider came closer, Angustias recognized her husband.

  “Good morning, Angustias.”

  “Good morning, Lord Beaufort.”

  “I see you are still upset.”

  “I don’t have any reason to be.” Angustias moved away from the horse and its rider.

  “Well... if you are not mad, I want you to accompany me somewhere.”

  “I can’t right now. I am tired from the long walk and am returning home now.”

  “You will not need to walk.” Isaac patted his horse. “My friend Azabache will be more than happy to carry you.”

  “I don’t know how to ride a horse.”

  “You do not need to know how it is done to ride with me. I will be with you.” Without giving Angustias any time to reply, Isaac jumped down. He took Angustias by her waist and placed her on the horse. She grabbed onto the horse and panicked because she was on such a large animal. Isaac mounted behind her.

  “Take me down. Please!”

  “As soon as we arrive at the place that I want to show you.” Isaac was deaf to Angustias’ protests.

  When they arrived Angustias couldn’t say anything and her face was red with rage.

  “Put me down, now!” she demanded.

  “All right, all right, woman. What a temper you have.” Isaac laughed and held out a hand to help her get down. Angustias was in such a hurry to get her feet back on the ground that she almost fell off the horse and started looking around.

  “What is this place?”

  “This is my favorite spot on the country estate. Do you want to see it?”

  Angustias was suspicious of him but reluctantly agreed. Isaac took her by her hand and guided her to a marble gateway. It looked very old and was covered by Ivy. It didn’t seem to lead anywhere but a few seconds after stepping through they were in the middle of a forest and could hear the sound of running water. They walked a few feet and were in front of a beautiful lake. It was such a quiet and peaceful place that it seemed almost out of a fairytale. No one else was there, only the two of them.

  “What do you think?”

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “I knew you would like it. It is full of trout that my father introduced years ago and the lake is overpopulated. Every once in a while my father allows tenants to come here and fish depending on the season.” Isaac took Angustias’ hand. “Come, sit beside me.”

  They stood beside a large boulder. Isaac removed a simple fishing road from behind the boulder. He put some bait on the hook and spoke in a low voice. He didn’t want to scare the trout.

  They were there for a while and had a sack full of trout.

  “Will you bring all these fish home?”

  “No. I was planning on giving them to a good friend of mine.” Isaac followed a small path into the forest until they arrived at a small cottage.

  Angustias couldn’t contain her curiosity. “Who lives here?”

  “You will see.”

  Isaac knocked and a middle-aged woman opened the door. “Good morning, milord.”

  “Good morning Mrs. Tate. Is my friend home?”

  “Of course he is, and he has been waiting for you for days.”

  Two children played on the floor while a couple of elderly people sat in front of the fire. The woman knitted while her husband held a ball of wool. The elderly man stood up to greet Isaac and the woman bowed. Isaac hugged them both and gave the woman a kiss on the cheek.

  “I have not been able to see you for some time and I am glad that you are well.” Isaac looked at Angustias. “I want to present my wife, Angustias.”

  “Lady Beaufort, It is an honor to meet you,” said the elderly man.

  “It is a joy to meet the woman that managed to bring Lord Beaufort to heel,” said the old woman.

  “Rose, please. I have asked you to call me Isaac. I am not the count to you. I am your friend.”

  “We know, Isaac. But one should never forget good manners.” Rose smiled.

  “I brought you some fresh trout. I know Frederick loves them.”

  “Thank you so much. I will put them on the fire right now. We can all have lunch together. You are staying, right?”

  “Of course.”

  “Please, go in to see him. He will be glad to see you.”

  Isaac took Angustias’ hand and they entered a small room. A thin man lay on a bed. While a woman sat next to him reading a book. When the wom
an noticed them she stopped reading and the man on the bed smiled when he recognized his visitor.

  “Lord Beaufort. I am so glad to see you.”

  “Frederick, my friend. I am sorry I could not come earlier.”

  “Please, don’t apologize. I know you have been busy.” Frederick looked at Angustias with a mischievous smile on his face.

  “I want to introduce you to my wife, Lady Angustias St. John, Countess of Beaufort.”

  “It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady St. John.”

  “The pleasure is all mine,” said Angustias. She was delighted by his easy-going smile and pretty blue eyes. Under the tired face, marked by illness, she was able to see the handsome man he had been years ago.

  “How have you been?” asked Isaac.

  “I am better now. Thanks to you.”

  “You mean, thanks to the doctor,” replied Isaac.

  “It is the same thing, my friend. The doctor came because of you.”

  “Lord Beaufort. Please take a seat.” The young lady that had been sitting next to Frederick waved Isaac and Angustias over to have a seat. She left her seat offering her own chair and placed another chair there so they could both sit. She opened the windows to let in fresh air and left the room promising to bring tea and cookies.

  “I owe this man my life, Angustias,” Isaac explained.

  “Then, I am grateful to you.” Angustias looked at Frederick.

  The man on the bed sighed. “I was only doing my job, milady. Lord Beaufort was an impulsive young man, full of anger at that time. He was hot-headed and used to pick a fight wherever he went. One day we were on a ship heading to France when we got attacked. My friend and I defended the ship like everyone else but he was not aware that a man stood behind him planning to plunge a knife into his back. I saw it just in time and fired. But I failed to see that another of those bastards was behind me and he shot me,” Frederick was silent. It was hard for him to talk about what came next. “I blacked out and when I woke up I was in bed. I had a fever and was in terrible pain. My legs were useless. The doctor told me the bullet had grazed my spinal cord and that I would never walk again. I could have a normal life from my waist up, but I would have to use a wheelchair. I rapidly saw how my life as a ship captain failed and I had to return home. Now, I am a burden to my family.”

  Angustias’ eyes filled with tears. She imagined how hard it was for this man who in all other respects looked so full of life. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Do not be sorry. It was hard in the beginning but your husband is a stubborn man. He insisted on helping me. He said it was his duty after I had saved his life. He came every day to my house when I was the most bitter and full of rage.” Frederick laughed. “More than one time I told him to go to hell but he kept returning. We would often get drunk to forget all of our troubles and we eventually became good friends. One day, he arrived with a very expensive doctor. He owns a clinic in Bath and is famous for an innovative treatment for people who cannot walk. I never really believed in the treatment when I first started but little by little I have felt better and I have seen some progress in one of my legs.“

  “That is great news!” Angustias was exited.

  “Your husband has done so much for me. He comes and reads to me whenever he has the time. He is patient enough to help me ride a horse. He ties me onto the back of the animal so that I do not fall and we ride throughout the country estate. He watches over my family and my children who only have me.” Frederick paused. “He is a good friend.”

  “You saved my life, Frederick. That is priceless,” said Isaac.

  Angustias looked at her husband. She felt as if she were seeing him for the first time. She had always heard rumors about him and the life that seemed to confirm that he wasn’t an emotional man. Though he was not a bad person. Now that Angustias knew of his kind gesture she found it hard to believe and she felt deeply moved.

  *****

  That evening they left the cottage and made their way home. Angustias didn’t speak a word the entire way back. She was deep in her thoughts. Once home, she went directly to her room after thanking Isaac for giving her the chance to know another aspect of his life that she wasn’t aware of.

  After that day something changed inside of Angustias. She started seeing her husband in a completely different way. Isaac showed her some of the most beautiful spots on the country estate and also took her to some of the tenant’s homes so that she could get to know them. In many of the houses, the people were surprised to see Isaac and they would invite them into their homes. They treated Isaac and Angustias with the utmost respect and generosity. They rode every day and in a short time, Angustias was an expert horsewoman. As the days passed by, they became closer and closer. The more Angustias knew about her husband, the more she liked him. At the same time, Isaac was enchanted by the kindness and generosity of his wife. Her selfless way of being made everybody love her.

  Isaac observed how she attended the little town church every day. That she noticed the children from the poorest families and was touched when she saw them dressed in old clothes that were sometimes frayed. Angustias went home and collected everything she could and took it to the church. She made sure the clothes were given to all of those families and even founded a small group of wealthy women. The group was made up of the wives of the landowners and they would meet once a week to sew and embroider sheets, garments, towels, and blankets for the poor. Isaac was astounded at how she won the hearts of all the people around her. Although, it should not have surprised him as she had managed to win his own heart.

  A few days later they sat in the library after having lunch. They drank a glass of wine while they talked. One glass became two and then three. The alcohol began to take effect, and they were suddenly talking about more sensitive topics of conversation.

  “I have been wanting to ask you something since we first met. Why did your mother name you Angustias? It means sorrow in Spanish, right? To me, you are more an Angelica or Aurora. Any name would be better. Angustias doesn’t express properly what a special woman you are.”

  Angustias looked at him with sad eyes. “My mother is an extremely religious woman. She has always told me that I was named that because I was the result of her sinful relationship with my father. She believes this despite the fact that he is her husband. She believes that the nine months of her pregnancy and having to go through labor are the punishment for that sin. For her, that time was full of sorrow and it was very traumatic for her. That’s why she named me ‘Angustias’.”

  Her eyes reflected a deep sadness and it made Isaac caress her cheek.

  “Is that why you spent so much time in church? And never separate yourself from your rosary?”

  Angustias smiled. “It made me feel safe and comfortable to pray and spend so much time in church. But I came to understand that I was getting obsessive like my mother. She is a good woman but I don’t want to be like her.”

  “You are nothing like your mother. You are a great woman.”

  She shook her head sadly. “I am the living reminder of a mistake.” Angustias hid her face. She didn’t want her husband to see how much it still hurt. “I am the product of a terrible sin according to my mother.”

  “To me, you are not sorrowful. You are an angel and from what I have seen of you these days. You are not a woman that causes sorrow. Especially not someone who is the result of sin. With all due respect, I do not think that your mother hated your father when she willingly married him and not out of obligation. I also do not think that it was very traumatic for her to be with your father. Your aunt told me he was a good man.” Isaac shook his head in denial. “I refuse to believe that someone like you is the result of such a terrible union.”

  “Well... I guess we will never know, will we?”

  “Maybe not but I do not want you to live your life thinking the worst just because she told you that. Besides, even if your mother had a bad experience in her marriage, it does not mean you will have the same fat
e.”

  Angustias smiled sarcastically. “Didn’t you see the way our marriage started?”

  “Other marriages start worse.” Isaac felt helpless for not being able to give her what she needed. He felt a deep desire to make her happy.

  Both of them fell into thoughtful silence. After a while, Angustias decided to go forward with a personal question too.

  “Have you ever been in love?” Angustias asked.

  “Yes, once.” Isaac did not want to talk about it but for some reason, he felt like he had to give Angustias an explanation.

  “Tell me.”

  “She was almost the same age as me. She lived next to our country house in Bath. When we grew older we fell in love. Her parents approved of our relationship but then I had to move far away because of my studies. My mother died and left my father devastated. It was hard to see him like that. I came to visit as often as I could but my studies did not leave me a lot of free time. When I came back from school I used to see Bell. We would take walks, talk and make plans together. But one day I came home, and she was no longer interested in us. She told me there was somebody else and that she realized I was not the one for her.”

  “She didn’t say anything else? Or have a better explanation?” Angustias was bothered by the woman’s lack of tact and subtlety.

  “She didn’t. I was an idiot back then. I humiliated myself searching for her everywhere. I looked for her anywhere I knew she would be. At the dances held by the nobility and I even slipped into her bedroom at her parent’s house. Had I been found I could have been shot. She told me to stop looking for her. That I looked pathetic and that the people were laughing at me when they found out about my obsession for a girl that only rejected me. In that moment I could not recognize her anymore. The sweet girl that had shared my deepest dreams had been replaced by a poisonous snake.”

  “I am so sorry.” Angustias caressed Isaac’s hand. “You must have suffered a lot.”

  Isaac looked down at their entwined hands. “I did suffer. It hurt for a long time. After that, I dedicated myself to having fun without falling in love. It was the best way of keeping my heart safe.”