A smile eased across my face as I sunk low under the warm water in the tub, my legs dangling humorously over the edge. “Be thankful for the little things,” I murmured, relishing the feel of the water on my weary muscles.
* * * *
That night, I went to bed early, sapped of the energy to play even the simplest of games of marbles with Matthew, Patrick, and Dean. My hands carried fresh bandages and ointment and Gran heated up a bag of rice to place on my throbbing back. The lumpy mattress and worn quilt felt heavenly as I sunk down beneath the sheets. I could smell the fresh scent of lavender and eucalyptus from the homemade soap. For the first time since I had arrived, I felt good. Despite the physical pain, I rejoiced from the simple fact I had been useful today and not a nuisance. I had survived hay day and impressed Rodney all in one day.
I felt redeemed, like I’d put a mark on the wall for my aunt that meant something good in her life for once. Hopefully, it wasn’t the last. I had one major goal to look forward to, a chance to turn Sarah’s life around forever, and hopefully save myself in the process.
I stared out the window, connecting the numerous stars with imaginary lines until my lids became heavy. That night, I dreamed of hay. Endless bales of hay.
Chapter Eight
Jekyll and Hyde
I could feel a difference in the house the moment my eyes opened. A flutter of excited voices floated up from the kitchen. Ashamed to see I was the last one up (again), I jumped from bed and checked my reflection in the cracked mirror above the dresser. Sunburned, freckled, and chapped, my face was hardly recognizable after my days out in the harsh sun.
Rubbing some ointment over my red, scratched thighs and blistered hands, I dressed quickly in a pleated knee length skirt and blouse. Today was going to be special – it was Sunday. I could barely suppress my excitement. I knew for a fact, the family practiced following the strict rules of the Sabbath. After church, it would be a day of rest. No chores!
A ribbon tied for a headband and a pair of plain black Mary Jane shoes completed my Sunday dress. Descending the stairs to the kitchen, I massaged the aches and pains from my arms and neck, surprised to feel pain in places of my body I didn’t know had muscles.
Dean exploded from the table and into my arms the moment I appeared. “Today is the fair! Today is the fair! Dave brought tickets, just like you said!”
On impulse, I swung him around in a circle, getting caught up in his boyish exuberance. “I told you he would come through,” I said, ruffling his hair. Maybe Dave could finally win Dean’s approval. I could only hope.
Eager to start the day, I helped dress the twins, wash the breakfast dishes, and load the trailer with canned goods for the 4-H booth at the fair. I dreaded the hour-long church service that stood between me and my day with Dave. I could almost taste the warm powdered sugar funnel cakes and the wispy swirls of cotton candy.
Loading into the rusted shell that served as the family car, I squeezed into the back seat and held the twins on my lap. It was crowded and loud, the chattering and guessing of rides at the fair the number one topic on everyone’s mind.
“What’s that smell?” I asked, wrinkling my nose, juggling the twins down the rutted, bumpy road.
“Rodney used the car to bring the goats and pigs in for the fair,” Dean answered from between the broad shoulders of Bobby and Rodney in the front. “Dad’s truck broke down again.”
“Gross,” I whispered. I hadn’t checked the seat before I sat down. I could only guess what graced the floorboards of the packed car. Breathing through my mouth the entire way to town, I sat miserably amongst the rowdy kids in the back. I could only pray that by the time we got to the fair, the smell would wear off. Just once – once! – I would like to smell like a girl again, instead of a barn!
When the service ended, we drove straight to the fair; I chose a seat next to the window and practically hung my head out in the driving wind the short journey across town. All through church I had been preoccupied, barely reciting the familiar prayers, my mind busy envisioning my day off. Maybe Dave and I would be like in the movies, where we ride the Ferris wheel and kiss at the very top. Or maybe he would win me a stuffed animal, something I could display proudly in my bedroom. The possibilities were endless and utterly romantic. It was the sort of date I had been waiting for my whole life.
Matthew and Patrick pushed me from the vehicle the moment we paused in the fair’s open lot for parking. Joyce and Janice tumbled out around my legs and I heaved the twins up by their waists to keep from getting trampled. Pulling at my clothing, Dean and the rest of the boys whined, “We want the Tilt-A-Whirl first!”
The confusion of our arrival ended just as quickly as it began. Louise took Joyce and Janice to the petting zoo. Rodney and Bobby took the twins with them to the 4-H building where the girls could be watched by any number of gossiping housewives, leaving them the ability to tend to their animals in peace. That left me with the three middle boys.
Dean kept a tight grip on my arm as we entered the crowded gates. Various rides were already in motion; squeals of delight and fright echoed throughout the fair. The familiar smells of the fair hit me at a rapid rate, sending me reeling into a zone of confusion – both of my worlds, past and present colliding into one. I reached for my father’s hand, searching for the warmth and comfort of an adult, but instead a small bony hand took its place. I turned to look into my father’s eight-year-old, animated face. Weird, I thought.
Standing in line for the Tilt-A-Whirl, I eyed the Ferris wheel and its slow easy motion. Envious of the couples on board, I scanned the crowds for Dave’s telltale blond hair. His physical presence would stand out easily in the masses. I blinked, mesmerized by the number of people that swarmed the tiny festival. People of all ages, rich and poor. The fair was sort of a uniting factor, drawing the people out from their isolated lives of the rural country. Who knew this many people actually lived in this town?
After the third straight trip on the Tilt-A-Whirl, I begged the boys for a break. Handing out a few tickets to the three, I offered to wait in the long concession lines to buy them a snack. Thanks to Dave’s generosity, the family had enough tickets for rides and food, something they’d never had before. I joined the snake-like line leading to the tiny booth that harbored an array of sugary goodies.
A tall, slender boy just in front of me turned and smiled in my direction.
I smiled back, automatically averting my gaze to discourage his attention.
“Hello?”
I pretended not to hear the soft-spoken voice of the boy.
“Oh, what? You’re not talking to me now?” the boy kept on.
I sighed. It was obvious the boy couldn’t take a hint. “Hi,” I answered, turning to meet his gaze. I couldn’t hide my surprise. The boy’s face was handsome, dimples denting his soft features. His warm brown eyes, so intent on my face, had a ring of gold just around the pupil. I instantly liked the boy’s earnest, honest face.
He seemed offended at my slighting his attention. Realizing he was just being friendly, I held out my hand. “I’m Ka…er, Sarah.”
He grasped my hand in his and laughed. I noticed his dimples deepen drastically, making him appear mischievous, but not in a bad way. “I know. We go to school together. Remember? Or have you tried to blank that part out from your memory?” His rich, smooth laugh lit up his face. “Did all those months in Mrs. Bernhoft’s class mean nothing to you?”
I cringed. Of course the boy would know me. The whole small-town, everyone-knows-everyone thing was lost on my city girl roots. I continued to hold his hand and blushed.
Voices called out from across the grassy median. “Travis! Hurry up! The tractor pull is about to start!” Several boys milling about the grounds were motioning for Travis to get out of line and join them. Some made eyes in my direction and shot Travis suggestive gestures.
“Travis… of course,” I said, stalling for time. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want Travis to leave. “I guess I n
eed my eyes checked. I didn’t recognize you,” I said, teasing him with a flirtatious laugh. “Have you been working out?” I wanted to gag at my lame attempt at a cover-up.
Travis leaned in close, so close I wanted to reach out and touch his gorgeous dimples to see if they were really as deep as they looked. “You look real nice today, Sarah. But then again, you always do. Come find me if you need a partner for the Ferris wheel,” he hinted, raising his eyebrows a notch. He passed me a cone of cotton candy, pulling out an extra ticket as he paid for a popcorn and candy apple.
I giggled, feeling the nervous pangs of attraction flutter in my stomach, which were quickly followed by waves of guilt. What am I doing? Dave is my boyfriend. I can’t be interested in other boys! I couldn’t believe how easy I had fallen under the spell of Travis’s boyish smile. He seemed so… good, I decided. It was only an innocent conversation, I told myself. Nothing happened.
The expression on Travis’s face changed as fast as a flash of lightning. The warmth vanished from his eyes and his mouth straightened into a somber line. Trying to appear nonchalant, he stepped away from me as if he had just learned I had a contagious disease. Without turning around, I knew what had made Travis turn so cold. The hairs on the back of my neck rose in response and my cheeks deepened in color, but from guilt, not pleasure.
Dave appeared at my side, as if an apparition, his face grim as he stared down Travis like a hunter eyes a kill. For some weird reason, I had the feeling he’d been watching me, waiting for me to step out of line before he swooped in to play the part of the possessive boyfriend.
“Did I miss something funny?” Dave asked, making his question more accusatory than merely curious.
Jumping between the two boys, I tried to tear Dave’s murderous glare from Travis. I forced out a laugh and pulled some tickets from my pocket. “I was going to get some food for the boys and Travis here was telling me about the tractor pull, weren’t you, Travis?”
Travis looked at the ground and then back to my eyes, his face a mask of disappointment. I could see the longing in his eyes as Dave put his arms around my shoulders, pulling me close.
Dave snorted. “That’s what I thought. Well, then. Why don’t you get going, Travis.” Dave said the name as if it were something vile and unclean.
Travis smirked, never looking in Dave’s direction. “See you around, Sarah,” he said sadly, eyeing me with –pity? He walked away, shaking his head.
I faced Dave, angry he had barged in and challenged Travis like the two of them were Alpha dogs fighting over territory. “What was that about?” I demanded. “I was just saying… ow!” I whimpered as Dave’s grip on my arm turned sharp like a vise. He grabbed the cotton candy from Travis out of my hand and threw it to the ground. Pulling me roughly, he practically dragged me along, never uttering a word until we reached the backside of the food pavilion, far away from the rides and vendors.
I realized a second too late that there was no one around.
Trying to wrench my arm from his painful grasp, I pulled against his powerful grip.
Dave let go of my arm and twisted me around, gripping my blouse in his fists. He slammed me up against the wooden wall, I felt my teeth rattle and my head snap from the brute force. His full weight pressed up against my body, holding me pinned to the wall.
Too numb to defend myself, I could only stare into Dave’s face, sinister and dark in the shadows of the building.
Dave’s breath came hot on my face. His mouth twisted in a sneer and he pulled my arm up behind my back in a painful twist. “What the hell are you trying to pull? Are you trying to make me look like a fool? Wearing my mother’s ring and playing the town slut at the same time, batting your eyes at any boy who’ll look your way? You damn slut!” He pressed against me even harder and I bit my lip to keep from crying out. Spit flew from his mouth and into my face and I turned away in disgust and shock.
Wild with anger, Dave was almost frothing at the mouth.
My mind whirled with confusion. This was my aunt’s boyfriend, her supposed true love, and he was a monster! His generous gifts and professed love were all a lie – a horrific lie to keep people fooled to his true nature. I thought back to our first date, the night he bruised my arm in anger. I should have known then, but I was blinded by his good looks and charm. Recalling Dean’s chilling words about Dave, and knowing what he did to me, sent a wave of revulsion through my body. How long had Sarah been dealing with this? Is this why she had tried to leave him?
Indignation welled up in my chest. I had to fight back – for myself and for Sarah. Willing my voice to work, I growled, “Get your hands off of me, Dave Slater, or so help me God, I’ll scream loud enough to bring the whole town running.” I stared hard into his face, hoping my threat was believable.
Dave’s chest heaved. He acted like he hadn’t heard what I said. “You’re mine,” he gasped. “You’re my girlfriend, damn it! All these years I’ve been devoted to you, and you keep putting me off… toying with me. Everyone saw it but me. You were just stringing me along, like some sort of puppy…making promises and…” He trailed off.
He looked at me then and my knees turned to water. His beautiful face had turned raw and ugly, and I could read his thoughts as though they were my own. “You swore you’d never leave me. You tried, but you came back. You promised.”
“Don’t…d-don’t do anything you would regret,” I stuttered, pressing my free hand against his chest.
“I should have taken you a long time ago. Then no boy would even look at you.” He was rambling now, the fever of jealousy making his eyes wild and bright. “You’re mine, Sarah Christenson, and I’m going to make sure you never forget that.”
Dave threw me to the ground and was on top of me before I could catch my breath to react. “Don’t act like you don’t want this,” he said, running his hands up my legs and underneath my skirt. “You keep saying we need to wait until you’re ready. Well, I say you’re ready.”
I squirmed and clamped my legs together. Oh, God! Somebody help me! Tears streamed down my cheeks as I fought to keep Dave from assaulting me right there on the muddy grass of the fairground.
Dave slapped my cheek with a teasing hint of brutality. “You’re nothing without me,” he repeated, breathing heavily into my face.
I opened my mouth to scream and Dave was upon me, smothering my mouth with a crushing kiss that bruised my lips and scraped his teeth against mine. My scream died out, muffled and unheard; the roaring of the fair rides masking any hopes I had of a rescue.
Dave’s hands wrestled with my skirt, pulling on it so hard I could hear the ripping of the seams. I thought hard, trying to focus my rattled brain. I’d taken self-defense classes as a kid—think! But, my brain had shut down, all reason and rational thought had vanished when Dave threw me to the ground. Daddy! my mind screamed. Help me!
Dave clamped a handful of my hair in his hand, yanking my head at a harsh angle. “This is your fault, Sarah. You do this to me. Seeing you talking to other boys, you know how I feel about that. What we agreed on.”
One of my hands twisted from his grasp and swiped across his face. Nails met flesh and I gouged three distinct tracks into his cheek.
Dave snarled, his mouth lifting in a tight grin. Was he enjoying this? I could only guess what his twisted mind was thinking. But my lashing out seemed to be the consent he needed to go ahead with his plan. Grabbing both of my hands into one of his, he held them above my body, trapping my head like a vise. Straddling my legs, he put the bulk of his powerful frame on my thighs and used his free hand to begin undoing the buttons on my shirt.
Helpless, I could do nothing against his brute strength; my mouth silently forming the word “no” against the senseless violation of my body.
A familiar voice cried out somewhere beyond my vision. In my frantic state, the voice sounded blurry and the words ran together, like listening to someone talk under water.
“I mean it, Slater! You better get off her, or you’ll ha
ve me to deal with.”
My eight-year-old father stood just beyond Dave, his scrawny shadow mingling with ours on the ground. Ironically, my father had come to save me, just not in the form I had imagined. Anger colored his face a mottled red, and his skinny arms held a fighting stance, fists and all.
Dave didn’t even bother to look up, but his hands paused in their attack. “Get outta here, boy, if you know what’s good for you. Your sister and I are busy doing things your little brain can’t even comprehend. Now take the tickets I brought for you and go ride some rides.” Dave’s voice was low and even, the expression on his face cold.
Dean shuffled his feet and swallowed before speaking – his high boyish voice almost comical. “I’m not leaving until Sarah tells me to. Sarah?” Dean’s eyes searched my face, noting the tracks of tears and the fear etched in my features.
Using what strength I could muster, I twisted my body and wrenched my hands free from Dave’s grasp. I pushed Dave to the side and rolled away from him. Surprisingly, he let me go, but not before I saw fire flash deep within his eyes. Brushing my skirt free of grass and straightening my blouse, I tried to keep my fingers from trembling. I didn’t want Dave to see the effect he’d had on me; that he had controlled me and would have beaten me if Dean hadn’t come along.
Unsure if my legs would work, I smoothed my hair and took a tentative step toward Dean. My mind whirled from all that happened; I wouldn’t have even believed it had happened if it weren’t for the hint of a tear in the folds of my skirt and the smudges of dirt on my rumpled shirt.
Cautiously, I moved to Dean’s side, placing my hand on his shoulder for support, thankful for his lean, wiry body. My father’s cheeks puffed in and out, his eyes never moving from Dave’s nonchalant pose on the ground. We backed away together, afraid to turn our backs, as if Dave were some sort of boogie monster instead of a boy.
When we reached the side of the pavilion, I finally found my voice and turned back to Dave. “In case you haven’t figured it out, we’re done. For good this time,” I said, loud enough to make sure he heard.
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