by Alora Kate
“It’s two am,” I informed him.
“It is.” He leaned forward, his hands clasped in front of him. “Your life is about to change, Ki.”
“So, you’re going to tell me what’s going on?”
“Yes. Kind of. Despite how I feel about the situation.”
“What’s that mean?”
“I don’t think you should know, but that’s not my decision.”
“Someone else’s?”
“Yes.”
I sat up. “Who?”
“I wasn’t supposed to talk to you. You weren’t supposed to know I existed, and after today, you’ll understand why. But life has a funny way of fucking things up. My mom’s worried about me, and for some reason, she called the one person in this world that I’m protecting,” he paused. “I’ve been following you for over six months. I know everything there is to know about you. I know all of your quirks. Your likes and dislikes. Your favorite foods and flowers.” He glanced to my nightstand. The peonies he gave me were there, and he smiled. “I like it when you smile, and I love your laugh. You’re kind. Sweet. Everything I know about you,” he turned to me, “I love. I’m completely head over heels in love with you, Ki.”
Oh, God.
Everything hurt.
My eyes burned.
The lump in my throat prevented me from speaking, but what could I say?
My heart was on that line; the line between love and hate, and it felt like the feelings I had weren’t my own. I hated him for the bombshell he just dropped, but I wanted to love him because he loved me.
But I didn't love him.
He turned on the bed so he was facing me.
“I barely know you,” I said softly.
“True, but I know everything about you.”
“This isn’t fair,” I said as the first tear fell.
“It really isn’t.”
My feelings were all over the place, and my heart was breaking.
“I want to be the guy, Ki. But I’m not.” He reached for my hand. “I know about Prescot. I know how you feel.”
“But I—”
“Ki,” he said squeezing my hand. “I want to be the guy. Not your second choice, or someone waiting in line.”
I knew what rejection felt like and my heart continued to break for him. “I’m so sorry, Lucas.”
“Don’t be sorry.”
“But I know how you feel, Lucas, and it’s horrible. I never thought I’d make someone feel the way I’ve felt for years.”
“I know,” he said gently wiping a tear from my cheek. “And I know you need to move on. You just aren’t going to be moving on with me. And that’s okay, but I would regret not telling you how I feel.”
“I’m so confused right now.”
“I know you are, but can I suggest something?”
I nodded.
“Do everything Alexa has planned for you tomorrow. Get your braces off. Get your hair and nails done. Enjoy a night out. You’ve been moping around for over a week, and you have to kick that shit to the curb. You made your choice, and I’ll back off. You need to be you, Ki. No matter what’s going on in your life. No matter who’s in it, or isn’t. Be you, Ki. Always be you.”
“I’m kind of scared.”
“Just know, no matter what, I’ll always be there for you.”
“I still need protecting?”
“Yes.”
“And my life is going to change?”
“Yes.”
“But you won’t tell me how or why?”
“It’s not my place.”
“So, if I tug on my right ear, you’ll be there?”
“Yes.”
“It makes no sense.”
“It will soon.” He caught another tear and kissed my forehead, and then he walked away without looking back.
Chapter 14 – Prescot
Divorced.
Gone.
My biggest regret.
It took longer than I thought. But it was finally over.
I had the locks changed.
The password on the security system was new, and my case was closed.
My client was innocent.
He’s home where he belongs.
My other client, the one with the new mattress, wasn’t.
He took a deal.
“Mr. Bale,” Molly’s voice sang through the speaker on my phone.
Ki was right.
Molly was perfect.
“I told you to call me Prescot.”
“The state’s attorney is on line one.”
“You can call him Jake.”
“That’s not professional,” she said, then hung up.
I talked to Jake.
Most days I hated the man.
But not today.
Today he gave me good news.
I hung up and started to roll my sleeves down.
The day was almost over.
“Mr. Bale,” Molly said, coming into the office, “can I ask you a question?”
“Not if you keep calling me Mr. Bale.”
She ignored me.
She’s done that several times.
But my calendar was perfect.
Just like when Ki did it.
“Why hasn’t Ki been around?”
Standing, I looked at her.
It was Friday.
The staff wore jeans on Friday.
Ki wore jeans every day of the week.
Her jeans.
Her kisses.
Her breasts.
“She doesn’t work here.”
“I know that, but she was here a lot for a week, and now she just disappeared.”
“She’s fine.”
“How do you know?”
“She’s a client.”
“Really? She’s not on your roster.”
“You should fix that.”
“So, we have her phone number?”
Her number.
I had called her.
Once.
Only once.
To hear her voice.
Her sweet voice.
“Yes.”
“I’ll fix it,” she said, walking back to her desk.
I opened the top drawer.
Her pencil.
Her crumpled up two dollars.
I shut it and left.
“Have a good weekend, Mr. Bale.”
All the kids in my class looked forward to the weekend.
They would talk about their plans with their parents: ball games, playing in the park, visiting family, and shopping. I would lie about my plans.
A knot formed in my stomach on Friday mornings, and wouldn’t leave until Monday when my foot hit the steps of the school.
My safe place. My home. School was my home.
Most weekends, I wouldn’t eat, as Mother refused to feed me if I couldn’t answer her questions. She always had so many questions, rapid fire, and I couldn’t get my answer out fast enough. Weekends were spent bloody, broken, and alone. She’d lock me in my room, from the outside, sometimes for the whole weekend. Leaving me no food or water, no way to use the bathroom. She’d unlock the door Monday morning, screeching about the smell, how stupid I was to relieve myself in my room like an animal. She’d beat me like an animal—the horse whip was new her favorite.
In those moments alone, the hours left to myself, I learned how to quiet my thoughts, how to make sense of my broken brain. I wasn’t like anyone else. I was alone.
I was alone.
Divorced.
Done.
My biggest regret was gone.
But Ki wasn’t.
And I was an ass.
I wanted her kisses.
I wanted her body.
I fucked up once.
I wouldn’t do it again.
Chapter 15 – Ki
It was amazing what a little pampering could do.
I smiled at myself in the mirror. My teeth were perfect. And weird.
“They feel weird.”
“Duh,” Alexa said at my side. “I’m jealous of how perfect they are.”
Three years. It’s been three years exactly since I got my braces on. Three years of appointments, tightening, wires poking me, and pre-pubescent boys trying to check me out while I waited for my appointments. Three years since I actually saw my teeth, and they were as perfect as the orthodontist promised.
“They must have put extra shiny stuff in my hair,” I said running my hands through it.
“They colored it and it looks fabulous; don’t you like it?”
I got highlights and low-lights, and all the darker colors blended well together. The pop of purple underneath it was the best part. They didn’t cut too much off the length, just enough to breathe some life back into my hair, which fell just below my shoulders. I couldn’t stop touching my strands, watching as the colors blended together. It was so soft and smooth, and I knew I would never be able to recreate it the way the stylist did today.
“Again, it’s different.”
“Ki,” she warned.
“Fine. I love it. I love it all.” It was hard to stop smiling. My teeth were so perfect. “I’m just tired.”
“Why? You were snoring when I woke you up.”
That was true. I had a tendency to snore.
I had an early afternoon appointment at the orthodontist today to get my braces off. It was an hour-long appointment that included my braces being removed and my teeth being polished. They took impressions in the event I needed a retainer, but I prayed I wouldn’t have to deal with that, ever. I was surprised by how quick it was, remembering how long it took to put them on.
The makeover appointment, as Alexa called it, took much longer. It felt like we had been there for ten hours, and I felt exhausted from all the primping and prodding. I felt like cattle at times, when they were leading me to their chair, to the dryers, to the sink, and back again. At one point, when I must have been scowling from all the moving around, Alexa just winked at me and called out, ‘Beauty is such hard work, huh, Ki.’ The stylists all laughed and Alexa proceeded to let them know that I didn’t pamper myself often. It showed, for sure, especially when I had my brows waxed. I gasped as the hot wax was spread against my skin, and then damn near flew off the table when the small woman pulled the strip off my face. Tears sprung to my eyes, and it took over an hour for the redness to disappear. So yes, I was exhausted, and slightly traumatized by Alexa’s ‘makeover.’
Throughout the day, we had lots of time to talk, but I didn’t tell her about Lucas. It felt too personal, and it still hurt, so I decided to keep it to myself until it hurt less. Plus, I figured he had bugged our apartment and that’s how he knew everything. I didn’t want to freak her out, and I was still processing everything myself, so I wasn’t going to say anything yet.
“I guess I was just nervous about today.”
“Look in the mirror again, Ki. You’re a knockout.”
I did feel great. And pretty. I found some black slacks in the back of my closet that still had a tag on them. I was surprised at how soft and comfortable they were. Alexa said my top was silk, and I took her word for it. I was used to my plain, muted cotton shirts. This one was shiny and red, and I felt okay wearing it since it had the shape of a tank top. It’s about as dressed up as I get.
“Let’s go. My detective is waiting.”
Alexa’s detective was going with us, but he would give us our room because we still didn’t know if people were following me. He would be there, but not with us, so we could enjoy our night out. I assumed since Lucas was out waiting in the shadows that I was still in danger. He was right though; my life was changing. I looked like a new person.
For the first time in my life, I was confident in myself.
I wonder if this is how Alexa feels every day.
Just then there was a knock on the door, and Alexa smiled ear to ear. She opened the door and giggled like a school girl.
“Ki, this is Detective Barrows, and Barrows, this is Ki.”
“Nice to finally meet you. You can call me Blake,” he said putting his hand out. I shook it and immediately noticed he was bald but in a good way. He was very clean and sharp looking, even though he was wearing jeans and a black leather coat. I could picture him on a Harley.
“I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Okay,” Alexa said before we could chat, “let’s go.”
Twenty minutes later, we were at a bar that had a dance floor, and the lights were flashing around like crazy. The music wasn’t that bad, but it was very crowded and I was already sweating.
“Ask them to turn the AC on when you order our drinks,” I suggested to Alexa.
“Stop complaining.”
“I’m already sweating!”
“Well, get used to it.”
“I’m putting my hair up.”
“Don’t you dare!”
“Then I could show the purple off.”
“Not happening.”
“Later, regardless of what you say.”
She ordered us a shot of Tequila and margaritas.
“You look amazing, Ki. But can I suggest something?”
“Sure.”
“Stop running your tongue over your teeth. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing, but you should probably stop.”
I smacked her arm even though she was right. I probably looked stupid.
We took our drinks and walked over to the other side of the bar and saw one empty stool. Alexa had on higher heels than me, so I told her she could sit and I’d stand until we got our next drink.
“We need to dance soon,” she said.
“I can barely walk in heels, let alone dance.”
I glanced around for Lucas, but I knew it was useless. I’ve never caught him following me before and now that I’ve turned him down, it’d be even harder. My ear felt like it’s been itching all day, just so I’d reach up and touch it, to see if he’d come running.
“Don't look,” Alexa warned, and my head automatically followed her eyes. “I told you not to look. Josh’s over there.”
“What’s he doing here, Lex? I swear if you planned this I'm going to hurt you.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you!” I gave her a look questioning her motives and she widened her eyes, letting me know she was being truthful. I sighed and pretended like I didn’t see him.
Alexa pinched my arm to get my attention. “We can't ignore him, Ki.”
Just then he caught my eyes and I smiled. It was enough to get his attention, and he started walking toward us.
“Lex,” I groaned, “I can’t deal with him right now.”
“He’s not that bad.”
“I know, but I don’t want to deal with men right now.”
“Go to the bathroom,” she told me.
“What?”
“Just go to the bathroom, I’ll handle Josh.”
I looked over my shoulder, and he was so close.
“Go!” she yelled smacking my ass at the same time.
I rushed off to the bathroom and washed my hands since I didn’t actually have to go. I wasted time admiring my perfect smile until a group of giggling drunk girls came in. I slipped out and peeked around the corner and saw Josh was no longer standing by Alexa.
“I hope you were nice to him.” I picked up my drink and noticed it was already half gone and Alexa’s was empty. “Were you drinking mine?”
“Yes, but I ordered two more.”
She slid off her chair and offered it to me. She smoothed her hair, shimmied her top a bit so her chest looked better displayed, and applied a little more gloss to her lips. “I’m going to say hi to my detective. I’ll be right back.” She winked at me before she strutted away.
I watched her make her way across the bar and saw a waitress with black and pink hair walk toward me with a tray full of drinks. She set it down and slid our two drinks off, and I tried to give her a twenty.
“It’s already paid for.”
“Oh.”
“Some guy bought them.”
“Are they safe?”
“Yeah, honey, they’re safe. Us girls have to stick together.”
She moved to her next table, and I started checking out the bar area to see if it was Josh who bought the drinks. I didn’t see him though. I saw no one I recognized, so I moved my eyes to Alexa and smiled at her. She got the message and came back to me.
“Ready to dance?”
“Not really.”
“You aren’t having fun?”
I shook my head no.
“Fine. Drink up. I’m taking you somewhere else.”
“Another bar isn’t going to make a difference.”
“Not another bar.”
“Where?”
“It’s a surprise.”
We drank, she texted Blake that we were on the move, and I saw him follow us out.
“It’s around the corner,” she informed me as we started walking arm in arm.
“These shoes suck, Alexa.”
“For one night, suck it up.”
“Fine.”
“And smile damn it.”
Chapter 16 - Prescot
Solace.
Tattoos.
Peace.
“You’re running out of room.”
Ace.
My tattoo guy.
“Keep going,” I said. I laid face down in his chair. He was finishing up my back piece.
My scars needed to be covered, and Ace never questioned them. Piece by piece, session by session, I was removing my mother from my life.
Doves.
Olive branches.
I’m covered in them.
Addiction.
“It’s some of my best work,” he said as the needle continued to puncture my skin.
“It better be.”
He chuckled, wiped my back, and then started up the needle again. “The extra tribal and shading really brought it to life. At first, I thought it’d be girly but all these additions really make it badass.”
Ki.
She’s always in my head.
Simple.
Beautiful.
“Oh, hey,” Ace said and the needle stopped. I heard his chair roll across the floor. “I’ll be with you soon. Check out the books on the table, or the wall.”
“We already know what we’re getting.” I heard a woman say.