by Alora Kate
The dreams I had about us would become a reality.
“Why are you back so early?” Alexa asked when I walked into the apartment.
I locked the door, tossed my purse on the counter, and went to the fridge. “Prescot banned me from seeing him.”
She gasped. “What? How the hell does that happen?”
“Nurse stopped me at the desk, and he even had a security guard at his door.”
“That’s kind of harsh.”
“I get it, Lex, I do. He’s hurt, angry, and severely stubborn, but he’s totally shutting me out.”
“What are you going to do?”
I smirked. “What do you think I’m going to do?”
“Yay!” She started clapping. “We have to get you passed the guard.”
“That’s where you come in.”
“This is going to be fun!”
“He’s going to be so mad.”
“He’ll get over it,” she said, but then dropped her smile. “Well, maybe.”
“Don’t, Lex; don’t make me second guess it. I walked away from Braydon when he picked that other girl over me. I never asked to see him again or plead my case.”
“I know, Ki. I want you to fight for this, but he almost died.”
“True, but he didn’t die. I really like Prescot, and I’m not going to back off. Not yet. Not until he hears me at least one more time . . . maybe two.”
“I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”
“Find your shortest dress, Lex, because tomorrow we are on a mission.”
###
“Put a little more sway in your hips, Lex.”
“I know what I’m doing,” she said pushing my hands away. “Stop pulling it up. It’s short enough.”
“Fine.” I huffed and watched her get on the elevator. “Hurry up.”
“Can’t rush this,” she said moving her hands down her body seductively while the doors slid shut. I laughed at her and then started to pace around the lobby. The plan was to get me into his room so I could chat with him. He’d have to listen to me. I thought about what to say and what not to say. I mean, I told him how I felt the other day, but I guess it wasn’t good enough. Keeping my eyes on my phone, watching each minute change was painful, so I held it in my hand instead. Every time the elevator dinged, I waited with bated breath for Alexa and her short black dress to appear.
Twenty-two times the elevator dinged before she appeared.
“Hurry up,” she hissed, waving me in. “He’s not in his room.”
She hit the button for the eighth floor a few times. “Hurry up and close.”
The doors started to close but I heard a guy yell, “Hold the door!” and I immediately stuck my hand out.
Lex glared at me, and I shrugged a shoulder.
A man in a wheelchair came in and turned himself around, and I stood by Lex in the middle of the elevator. When he glanced at the buttons, I noticed a scar on his cheek, but he quickly turned his head toward to door like he was trying to hide it. He was very tan, might even be half-black with a bald head that had a little growth on it. He didn’t say anything, so I assumed we were going to the same floor. I turned to face Lex, and she peeked around me to look at the man again. I smacked her arm, grabbing her attention again, and she shook her head and pursed her lips. Her eyes went wide, and she peeked at him again.
“What are you looking at?” I heard him ask and felt completely embarrassed for her.
She didn’t say anything but tried to hide behind me, which didn’t work because she was taller than me.
“What are you looking at?” he asked again, and she said, “Nothing.”
“Is it my face or the chair?”
“I wasn’t staring,” she said stepping forward. “I just, I think—”
“Don’t give me some bullshit story, and stop fucking looking at me.”
She faced the door, and I thought I saw her eyes fill with tears, but then the door dinged. The man went first, and I waited a second before dragging her off the elevator.
“What the hell, Lex?”
“I wasn’t staring at him.”
“You were.”
“I think I know him.”
“From where?”
“I think I had sex with him last year.”
“He didn’t look familiar, Lex.”
“The MMA fighter. Tapper Low.”
“Oh, him. Well, he wasn’t in the wheelchair last year.”
“I know! That’s why I kept looking. I know it’s him. I stopped keeping tabs on him after we stopped sleeping together, but I didn’t know he was injured.”
“Okay, we’ll come back to this guy, but I really need to know where Prescot is.”
“Right. This is the therapy floor. Probably why Tapper’s here also.”
I cocked my head at her.
“Right. He decided to go to therapy. Yay!”
“Good. This is really good.”
“Let’s go snoop.”
And snooping we did. We manage to get down a hallway and came across a large room filled with people and several different types of workout machines. The room was bright, airy, and various areas were sectioned off for different types of physical therapy. There were several beds on the back wall, with two older patients laying on them with a resistance band hooked around their foot. A therapist sat between them and instructed them on the stretches they needed to perform. Off on another side, a single exercise trampoline, a wooden ramp, and a series of three steps going up and down from a platform took up most of that area. I saw different sized balance balls secured in a net that hung low from the ceiling, and two bars bolted underneath to assist those who needed help learning to walk. I saw a group of three adults at a table, working tweezers, string and beads, and buttons, with groans of frustration coming from a large man with a cast from his palm to his forearm. The therapist was patient and kind, though the man loudly grumbled that he could not get his fingers to grab small beans with the large tweezers. A majority of the area was open with long blue mats on the floor, allowing for those in wheelchairs to move around easily and try to become accustomed to their equipment. I saw an older woman using an exercise bike, and her smile lit her whole face up as she talked with her therapist animatedly.
We saw Tapper right away, he was talking to someone with the same scowl on his face, and I moved passed him until I found Prescot. He was in a wheelchair talking to another guy who was sitting in a chair across from him holding a clipboard. He was writing, and they were exchanging words. Prescot kept his eyes focused on him, and I was starting to formulate a plan.
“I think we should wait until he leaves,” I told her while she kept her eyes on Tapper. “I don’t want to make a scene in there with all those people.”
“Good idea,” she said, and I moved my eyes to Tapper. He rolled over to the large mat area and parked his chair on the side. He did something to the chair and then, literally fell face first right out of it.
I heard Lex gasp, but Tapper caught himself perfectly as if he was doing a pushup and then rolled into a sitting position. He moved his legs so they were straight in front of him and the same guy who was talking to Prescot had walked over to him. His back was to us, but given the look on Tapper’s face, he was talking. Tapper said something that looked like, ‘fuck off,’ and the man walked away.
“I really thought he fell out of his chair.”
“I did also.” I looked back at Prescot, and he was being pushed toward us. “Shit, we gotta move.”
We rushed aside so he couldn’t see us when they left the room and we followed them to the elevator. Everything happened fast, but Lex and I slid into the elevator before they had Prescot turned around.
I smiled when his ice blue eyes hit mine. “Hey stranger, fancy seeing you here.”
Chapter 26 – Prescot
It was worse.
So much worse than before.
I wasn’t sure if it was from the accident or the stress and pain the accident left me in, but it was worse.<
br />
My thoughts.
The memories.
The pain.
It’s more intense. Rapid fire. I struggle.
Every second. Every breath.
New thoughts. Old memories.
Can’t focus. Sharp pain. Dull pain.
Everything. Hurts.
Ki.
I hurt her.
I banned her.
I can’t focus.
She needed more.
So much more.
I’ve been told I’m using too much morphine.
I needed it.
I needed to sleep.
It’s the only peace I have.
Old memories.
My mother.
“Speak!” she yelled with a whip in her hand. “You ain’t no fucking mute boy!”
She always wanted my voice.
My words.
I never gave them to her.
But she gave me hers. So many nasty words and the bruises to match.
The worst memories came at night. When the morphine wore off and I was lucid, hallucinating that she was there with me.
And then I was eight years old again.
Tied to a chair, in our dirty kitchen, roaches were skittering against my feet in the dim light. My mother’s face the only thing I could see.
Her eyes wild, a snarl on her face.
Spitting as she talked, vodka on her breath.
A cigarette between her lips, her fingernails yellow.
“If you don’t speak to me, I swear to all that’s holy, I will beat those words out of you!”
Still, I stared, my throat dry, my words stuck.
I never talked.
The rope was itchy against my wrists, and I squirmed, terrified when I saw the whip next to her.
She flicked her cigarette, the ash landing in my lap, burning holes against my underwear.
She inhaled, chuckled in my silence, and stepped toward me as if my silence was a challenge against her.
She put her cigarette out on my chest and lit another.
Still, I wouldn’t scream.
I had a voice, but I chose not to talk.
I was afraid of saying the wrong thing.
The scariest was when her voice was eerily calm.
“Boy, I’mma tell you somethin’. I don’t give a fuck if you are the smartest goddamn kid in that whole school. You ain’t shit to me. You’ll never be nothin’ but a goddamn disappointment and mistake.”
I heard the sharp crack of the whip before it struck my back, lashing up and down my back. The whipping went on for hours, days maybe. She would hit the same spots, repeatedly.
Still, I would not scream.
Not when she would put her cigarettes out on my arms and legs because she ran out of chest space.
Not when she would whip me.
Not when she would smush rock salt onto my back.
The darkness came for me, but my thoughts remained.
I would not scream.
I would not give her my voice.
My mother didn’t deserve them.
She didn’t believe me.
Thought I was crazy.
I was young, couldn’t handle all the things going on in my head. It took a long time for me to learn how to function and think at the same time.
I still have problems with my words, my thoughts.
But not as much.
Ki.
She deserved them.
I just can’t give them to her anymore.
It’s too many.
Too much.
Burden.
Weak.
Coward.
“Hey stranger, fancy seeing you here.”
I knew she’d find a way. Sooner than I gave her credit for.
“Ki.”
My words were shit.
But she smiled.
God, her smile.
Always hypnotic.
“I told you the other day I wasn’t going anywhere, but I guess you weren’t listening, so I’m here to tell you again.”
“Ki.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Prescot. I’m fighting for us; whatever we had I liked, and I want more. There could be so much more,” she kneeled in front of me, and I gave her my eyes, “for us, Prescot. We haven’t had much time together, but the time we had meant more to me than anything has in a long time. We’re good for each other, so please, don’t do this to us.”
Old memories.
New thoughts.
My mother.
“Speak!”
Her words hurt.
And so did mine. “I can’t.”
Defeated.
Useless.
“We can. I’ve been here every day for you, praying for you, waiting for you.” She grabbed my hand. “You don’t have to do this alone.”
Pain.
Suffering.
My head hurt. Legs. Hips. Feet.
My words.
She wanted my words.
Her hand touched my cheek.
The elevator dinged.
Her eyes.
Tears.
I hurt her.
“Please, Prescot.”
No words.
“Speak!” my mother’s voice shrieked again.
No words.
It was better this way.
She didn’t need complicated.
She was simple.
Easy going.
Laid back.
She didn’t deserve this shit.
I left her in the elevator.
After my pothead therapist helped me to bed, he spoke, “I don’t know much about your relationship man, but that woman . . . she’s a keeper.” He pulled the covers up so I could reach them. “Not many people are cut out for the long haul, but she is.”
No words.
New thoughts.
Old memories.
“She’s not that bad to look at either.”
I cleared my throat, and he got the hint.
“I get it. But since you can’t unhear my words, I’m going to say this – it could have been worse. I see people in all kinds of conditions, and you were lucky. You have your legs, you just have to learn how to use them again, and that’s what I’m here for. It’s not the best time to be pushing people away because as strong and independent as you are, you still need someone. And that girl, she’s it. Don’t let your ego or pride get in and fuck it up.”
Regrets.
Ki was now my biggest regret.
Chapter 27 – Ki
I drug my arm across my face again. “Why does it hurt so bad?”
“He broke your heart.”
“No words,” I muttered lying back down. “It was worse than anything he could have said.”
“I got you something,” Alexa said, crawling off the bed. Nothing she got would help my heartache. She crawled back into bed and shoved a stuffed animal toward my face. “Isn’t it cute?” She rubbed the fur against my cheek.
“What is it?”
“It’s an otter.”
It was brown and white, and at least a foot in height. “It’s kind of big.”
“Isn’t it soooooo cute?” She talked like I was a child and slipped under the covers with me.
“I guess.” I tucked him in my arms and held him to my chest. “Thank you.”
She pulled another one from behind her and mimicked my pose. “I couldn’t help it. Until we get matching tattoos, we’ll have matching otters. Ophelia and Olivia Otter, the unstoppable duo, catching woodland creatures—”
“Alexa.” I laughed and pushed her otter out of my face.
“It’s nice to hear you laugh. And my gift had its intended purpose.” She flashed me a smile and cuddled me close.
I smiled and ran my fingers against the fur. “When you put it like that, how could I refuse?”
“It’s super soft and can collect your tears for you.”
“Maybe if I hadn’t thrown myself at him, and took him to bed, I wouldn’t have liked him so much.”
I hit her with my otter. “Lex!”
“I told you I’d never let it go!” she yelled back, hitting me with her otter.
“You’re a grown child sometimes.” We both started laughing as we dropped our otters and cuddled with them again.
“We should act like children sometimes. Live young.” She smiled. “You know, all that crap.”
“We’ll be two old grandmas in a nursing home, playing jokes on everyone someday.”
“Of course we will.”
My Alexa. My sister. She always knew how to cheer me up, and had a heart of gold. We were afraid of going into business together, thought it might ruin our friendship, but honestly, I couldn’t imagine navigating my life without her by my side. I couldn’t imagine going through all of life’s milestones without her, experiencing our lives together. It goes without saying that we will be each other’s Maid of Honor when we get married; we will be each other’s godmothers to the children we will have someday. Family vacations together. Always a shoulder to lean on when life gets to be too much. And we will absolutely go to the same nursing home, leaving havoc in our wake.
“So, I’m changing the subject,” she informed me. She waited for me to say something but I didn’t. We should talk about something else.
“Has your mom called?”
Well, I didn’t want to talk about that either.
“No, and I don’t think she will. She probably knows that I know her secret. We haven’t talked in years, and now I’m calling almost every day. She must know something’s up.”
“But she should care enough to make sure you’re all right. What if you were in the hospital? She’d never know.”
“She’s depressed and trapped in her life.”
“Doesn’t matter, Ki.”
“I know, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m not going up there. Ever. I refuse to go back to that place, or see my father.”
“Speaking of fathers.”
I closed my eyes. “I want to take a nap.”
She ignored me. “I’m afraid Lucas might be right. At least call him, meet up for lunch or something. You don’t want to piss someone like that off.”
I started snoring, and I felt her smack my arm. “Ki.”
“I’m sleeping.”
“You’re ignoring me.”