by Rachel Dylan
“I want answers. Any way you have to get them is fine with me. If he is innocent, he will understand.”
“And if he’s not?” Kip asked.
“I will kill him myself,” Igor responded without flinching.
Much to Sadie’s credit, she didn’t break character. Even when Igor threatened to kill his own flesh and blood.
“I’ll keep you updated,” she said.
“Yes. No matter how trivial you may think it is. I want to know.”
Once they were back in Kip’s car, he heard her let out a deep sigh.
“You did great in there,” Kip said. “It’s a bit eerie that you’re able to hide your true emotions so well.”
“I’ve had a lot of practice.”
He wondered what she meant by that. “As a P.I.?”
“Yeah,” she said quickly. “What in the world are we going to do now? I had no idea he was going to want us to work on this angle. And since we’re the ones that made up the story about Artur, we know we’re not going to find anything.”
“You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if Artur does have it out for his older brother. But you’re right. This could prove to be difficult. Seems like we’re going to have to go on another trip.”
“Can we check to make sure he’s actually in New York before we go?”
“Yeah.”
“And we need to figure out what we’re going to do up there.”
“I’m going to check in with the field office. There’s an agent there who should be able to get me some additional information,” he said.
They decided to go to her office and plan their next steps. After some coffee and a snack, they were seated at the table ready to work.
“What was the number Igor wrote down?”
She blew out a breath. “One million.”
“Wow,” he said. “That’s crazy. With family, it’s personal.”
“I know. I wasn’t expecting anywhere near that.” She paused. “What that tells me, is Igor is highly motivated to get to the bottom of this. We can use that to our advantage in gathering evidence against him.”
“Sadie, I should’ve told you this earlier. But now that Megan is safe, we can get you out of this. There’s no reason to put yourself in such personal danger. Even as a consultant for the FBI, we can’t pay you enough to justify those risks.”
She turned toward him. “That decision is mine to make. Do you really think I’d bail now? Do I need to remind you how that meeting just went? If you want to take down the Vladimir network, you need me.”
“There will always be bad men like Igor out there, Sadie. I don’t think I could forgive myself if something happened to you.”
“Nothing is going to happen to me, Kip. I think I’ve shown you that I can hold my own. Against almost anyone.”
“All right,” he said reluctantly.
She stood up and started pacing. “If this is about last night, then let’s talk about that instead.”
“What do you mean?”
“The fact that you kissed me. If you don’t want to work together now because of that, have the courage to say so. Don’t hide behind excuses.”
Ouch, she was really going in for the kill. He shouldn’t have kissed her. Romance always complicated things. Especially working relationships.
“Sadie,” he said as he rose from his chair and walked to her. “My asking if you wanted out of this operation has nothing to do with my kissing you.”
“I find that hard to believe. You’re clearly having second thoughts on both.”
Without thinking he leaned down and kissed her again. This time he lingered a few moments longer on her sweet lips. Then he pulled back and put his hands on her shoulders. “See, no second thoughts about that, and I think you’re an amazing partner. I’m just concerned about your safety.”
She looked into his eyes. “I’m sorry, Kip.”
“Don’t apologize. You’re right. You can handle this. I just wanted to make sure you knew that you weren’t under any obligations.”
“Thanks. I get the risk. And I’m all in.”
EIGHT
Kip had kissed her again. Was this really happening? She had been ready to push thoughts that there could be something more with him away when he suggested that she back out of the mission. No way. She was all in just like she said. What she hadn’t expected was for him to kiss her a second time once she questioned him about it.
“Do we need to talk about what’s going on between us?” she asked. She didn’t want to overanalyze things right now, but she also didn’t want it to be weird.
“Do you think we do?”
It would be so much easier if she could just tell him the truth. Get it all out there. But she couldn’t. Not now. “I just want to make sure that we’re comfortable together. This trip to New York could get difficult.”
He reached out and grabbed her hand. “Sadie, there are a million different reasons why I probably shouldn’t have kissed you the first time and a million more for why I shouldn’t have kissed you again. Honestly, it just felt right to me. And I think it feels right to you. But I don’t want this to move any more quickly than we’re both comfortable with. You’re right that we’ve got a job to do here and that has to be our top priority. But once we’ve completed the mission, we can talk about whether you’d be interested in seeing me again because I’d like to see you. Does that work?”
She didn’t know what to make of his suggestion. Did that mean he wasn’t going to kiss her again? “I guess so,” she said in a noncommittal fashion. She poured them both more coffee and then took a seat.
“New York,” she said.
“Yeah, New York,” he replied.
“I think we first have to understand who and what we’re dealing with. Once we’re clear on that, then we can evaluate whether we can approach him. That’s my opinion.”
His phone buzzed and he read the text message. “Our FBI guys have eyes on Artur. He is in New York City. Igor wasn’t lying. He just had lunch at a swanky place in downtown Manhattan with what my guys describe as a supermodel.”
She laughed. “We should book our tickets. And let me call my cat sitter. There’s a girl in high school that I use when I have to go out of town. I don’t know how long we’ll be gone, so I want to make arrangements for Leo and Sammie.”
“Good idea. I’ll talk to my buddy about Colby.”
* * *
The next day, they arrived in New York City. Igor had called the night before, ensuring that they would be on a flight out the next day. He’d insisted on booking them first-class tickets and putting them up at a fancy Times Square hotel. The problem was that Igor only booked one room. A very nice suite. Kip, being the gentleman, immediately secured a second room for himself.
As she looked around her plush suite, with a full living room and oversize bedroom, she flopped down on the large bed with a super-soft down comforter. She allowed herself to pretend for just a minute that she had a normal life. That she could actually have a relationship with Kip. That her past wouldn’t haunt her daily. But she knew better. She was far from normal. Her baggage was sometimes too much for her even to bear. And she still didn’t know how she’d ever tell Kip the truth. No one outside Witness Protection knew who she really was. She had to keep it that way. Her life depended on it. She was already taking a risk by coming to New York, which was a violation of protocol. The problem was that she was in too deep now. The risks of her turning down the trip would be higher than her going. Igor would definitely get suspicious.
She had to fight the desire to kill Igor herself. It would be so easy. One meeting, one shot. It would be all over. She’d found herself praying about it more and more. The temptation was great. Even though she knew it was wrong. Terribly wrong. She’d even dreamed about killing him.
Seeking revenge on him for all he’d taken from her. And for getting answers. She desperately wanted to know what the connection had been between her father and Igor.
For now, though, she had to keep with the mission. Kip hadn’t kissed her again. That was good and bad. Good because she couldn’t see a way forward for them once this was all over. Bad because she had grown to have feelings for him. Feelings she’d never experienced before. At twenty-seven years old, she hadn’t dated a lot like most girls her age. She had too many secrets, not to mention plenty of hang-ups. She couldn’t deny that she was drawn to Kip. Had the Lord brought him into her life? She needed him and he needed her—though each for very different reasons.
There was a light knock at the door. She opened it without thinking assuming it was Kip. Bad move. The man standing in front of her was not Kip. Definitely not Kip. It was Jay Clifford—the U.S. Marshal who was her Witness Protection contact. He stood there all six foot four, with his fancy suit and perfectly styled dark hair and a scowl on his face. She was in big trouble. She pulled him quickly into her room.
“What are you doing here?”
He walked into her living room and then turned around to face her. “You haven’t been returning my check-in calls.” Jay kept his voice low. “Then imagine my utter amazement when I find out that you’re working with the FBI on the Vladimir case.” He crossed his arms over his chest, and he didn’t have to say more for her to know he was angry.
“You didn’t tell the FBI, did you?”
“Of course not. Some of us know that we shouldn’t break protocol. No matter what.”
She let out a deep breath. “Thank you.”
He took a step toward her. “No, no. You’re not off the hook that easy. What is going on?”
“I didn’t realize my quest would lead me back to New York.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
“It’s true. I am working against Igor. I know it doesn’t justify my breaking protocol. But I had a client—her daughter was kidnapped by Igor’s network. I went to Mexico to rescue her. I started working with the FBI because I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. You know how I feel about them. But now I’ve gained Igor’s trust. I can’t just bail. Too much is riding on this. There’s more at stake than just my safety. An entire FBI operation and the lives of others matter too.”
Jay started pacing back and forth and muttering under his breath. “You know protocol. And you definitely know you’re not supposed to be in New York. What were you thinking?”
“I’m in deep cover right now, Jay. I couldn’t break it, or I would risk being exposed. And also threatening an FBI investigation.”
“How do you know he doesn’t recognize you?”
“I know. I can tell. Believe me.”
“This is a mess, Sadie. A complete mess.” He blew out a breath. “I underestimated your desire for revenge. I foolishly thought you’d moved on and had found an outlet for your anger by being a P.I.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “That was your first mistake, Jay.”
“Hand over your phone. I’m putting a tracker code on it that only I can access. I need to know where you are at all times.”
Given the circumstances, she complied.
“Who are you here with?”
“An FBI agent. His name is Kip Moore. We went to Igor as a team. But Igor has taken a liking to me.”
“What do you hope to accomplish?”
“Bring Igor to justice for a start.”
“You don’t need me to tell you how difficult that will be.”
“I’m not going to stop trying. You can’t pull me off this. Just walk away.”
“You could be removed from the program for such a willful violation of protocol.”
“Please, I just need time.”
“If something happens to you, I’m responsible.”
“No. You’re not. This is my choice. I can put that in writing if you want,” she said with a raised voice.
“Don’t you get it, Sadie? You could be killed. I don’t have to tell you what type of man Igor is.”
“I get it. Believe me. I get it.” He was the one who didn’t get it.
“Sadie,” Kip’s voice rang out from behind the door. “Are you okay? Open up.”
Oh no. How would she explain Jay being in her room? “You,” she said in a hushed tone as she jabbed her finger to his shoulder. “You better think of something fast.”
She had no choice but to open the door. Kip stopped short when he saw Jay and pulled his gun.
“Who are you?” he asked, looking to Jay and then back to Sadie.
“I’m an old friend of Sadie’s.”
Kip’s eyes widened in suspicion.
“Yes. This is Jay. I told him I’d be in the city so we could meet up. You can lower your weapon.”
Kip narrowed his eyes at Jay and slowly brought down his gun. “All right. Let me know when you’re done. So we can get to work.”
“No, no. It’s fine.” Jay shook his head. “We’re done catching up for now. It was great to see you, Sadie.” Jay gave her a stiff hug and then walked out of the room.
“Wow, well, I don’t know what to say.” Kip stood with his arms crossed.
She could play this a couple of different ways. Which would be best? “There’s nothing to say. He and I are just old friends.”
“Didn’t look like you two were just friends to me.”
“Are you jealous?”
“Of course not,” he said. Then he looked at her. “That’s a lie. Yeah, I am jealous.”
“There’s no reason for that. I’ve known him for many years. He’s more like a big brother to me.” And that was the truth. She relaxed when she saw his face soften.
“I’m sorry. I can be a total jerk.”
She laughed. “Yes you can.”
“And since I thought he was your ex, I was prepared to tell you my ex story.”
“You can still tell it even though he and I never dated.”
“My ex moved on with my fellow ranger team member before she was actually my ex.”
“What?” Now, she hadn’t expected that.
“Yeah. It’s a really ugly story.”
“What happened?” She grabbed his hand and led him to the sofa to sit down.
“We were engaged, actually. I thought everything was going great. Man, was I ever wrong.” He stopped talking and his shoulders slumped. Then he looked back at her. “During my last deployment, Brad was at home doing some knee rehab. So while I was in the field, putting my life on the line, he made his move on my fiancée, Lacy.”
“Whoa. Kip, I’m so sorry.” She put her hand on his knee and squeezed.
“Needless to say I was devastated. Not to mention angry with both of them. Brad’s betrayal was probably even worse than Lacy’s. He was the leader of our team. I lost it and punched him. Hard. Knocked him out.”
She couldn’t believe this. Seeing the hurt deep in his eyes pained her.
“I knew there was no way I could serve with him again. I decided it was time for a change. I went through a rough patch. I started drinking. A lot. Before I realized it, I was in a downward spiral and I couldn’t pull myself out. One night I was sitting at a bar, and the bartender looked at me—the look on his face was full of pity. It was that night I decided I had to get sober—and I haven’t had a drink since then. I retired from the military so I wouldn’t have to face Brad again and joined the FBI.”
It all made so much sense now. His struggle with faith was inextricably tied to what had happened in his past. “It’s understandable that you had a severe reaction. You were betrayed—twice. I don’t know who this Brad guy is, but he clearly was in the wrong. But that doesn’t mean that God’s plan for you isn’t being played out. Don�
��t let your anger toward Brad continue to hurt your relationship with God.”
“I know you’re right, but it’s much harder to come to grips with than you might think. I kept asking God, why me? I wallowed in self-pity. That was part of what led to the drinking problem. And when I drank, I only felt numb. I knew it wasn’t the way to deal with my problems, but I felt weak—out of control. A stronger man would have turned to his faith. But I wasn’t strong, Sadie. I turned away from God and everything I’d ever believed in. It took a toll on me.”
She held his hand and rested her head on his shoulder. What really hurt her was knowing how devastated he would be if he knew that she hadn’t told him about her past. But what choice did she have? She had none. Jay’s visit just reminded her how much her life hung on the thread of keeping her identity a secret.
She lifted up her head and looked at him. “God is patient, Kip. He understands your pain. He hasn’t abandoned you. I promise.”
“I know that now. You’ve been a blessing to me, Sadie. I can’t help but think that us getting to know each other has been part of God’s plan to try and bring me back to where I need to be. I’m not going to lie and say I’m there yet. Because I’m just not. But I want to be. And having your friendship and support has been a huge boost. I never want to go back to that darkest of dark places ever again.”
“You don’t have to.”
“And to top it all off, I still feel guilt about what happened in Iraq during my last deployment with Brad. The nightmares I have are about Iraq, not about the cheating. I think I hold Brad responsible. And I hold myself responsible. I can’t help but to think that I could’ve done more to save innocent lives. A village was being attacked by militants, and we were told to retreat because it was too risky of an operation for us. But I knew that we could have done more to help save the inhabitants. Because we didn’t act, the entire village was slaughtered.”
“Look at me, Kip.” She placed her hands on his face. “You’re not the one who killed those innocent people. It sounds to me as if had you tried to do something, you could’ve been killed, too. Just think of all the lives you saved in Iraq. Guilt will eat you from the inside out. You can’t let it do that.” She rested her head on his shoulder again.