He just wanted to have some control back in his life.
“Redeem yourself by giving me the paperwork,” he told Danny Boy.
After a moment’s hesitation, Danny Boy pulled several folded up sheets of paper from his back pocket and held them in both hands. “Promise me another chance, Con? Come on, I’ll shine your fucking boots if that’ll make it all right.”
Conor didn’t reply and instead reached out to grab the papers but Danny Boy pulled them away. When Conor reached again, Danny Boy laughed and acted as if it was a game, keeping the papers just out of reach. After coming up empty several times, Conor lunged for the other man but he was too quick, scampering away.
“Give it to me, ya fucking geebag!” Conor said and chased after him. The two men played out the moves of children, climbing up on the sofa, hopping over the ottoman, and jumping onto the coffee table. Danny Boy delighted in the exercise, laughing wildly as he dodged and weaved with sudden athletic grace. It was a comical show, except for the fact that Conor wasn’t the least bit amused.
The ridiculous episode ended when Shay surprised Conor again by intervening, grabbing his brother’s suspenders with one hand and the papers with the other.
“Fuck’s sake. Sit your arse down,” Shay said and pushed Danny Boy so hard that he fell onto the sofa. “Here.” He handed Conor the paperwork. “I’ll pass along that meet to James and Felicity.”
Conor nodded and unfolded the papers. The quality was actually quite good. Then, he shouldn’t be surprised. Danny Boy was the ultimate counterfeiter. He could make shit smell like roses. He flipped through the pages and Shay went to his brother, speaking to him quietly and insistently. He was trying to get Danny Boy to apologize, but Conor didn’t see that happening. Danny Boy was the most unrepentant person he had ever known.
The chime of a text rang out and Conor looked at his phone with distraction, finding a message from Gavin that read:
“Question?”
Conor shook his head in frustration at the timing of this entreaty from his friend. Now was not when he wanted to get involved in a deep dialogue. He and Gavin had for years used this coded way of reaching out to each other when one was in need of advice. It was a way of signaling that the question was something serious, and the one giving an answer would therefore do his best to respond in kind. But Conor wasn’t in the best mind frame at the moment.
Still, he replied with the standard line he knew Gavin expected: “I’ve got an answer.”
The indication that Gavin was typing flashed on his phone and Conor looked away. He folded the papers, tore them in half once, then again.
When the text chime came through, Conor had to read the message twice before he understood what it meant.
Gavin wrote: “Do you want to meet my daughter?”
“Amazing,” he said softly and smiled. He looked up and the Donnelly brothers were still in their huddle. The whole argument over his guitar and Danny Boy being on tour suddenly felt inconsequential. “Lads! Lads, there are bigger things to deal with.”
Shay and Danny Boy looked at him.
Conor held up his phone. “Gavin’s a dad. Baby girl, it seems.”
“Fantastic,” Danny Boy said, jumping to his feet. “Let’s get over for a visit.”
Shay looked to Conor, his eyes expressing his conflict over this whole situation. Danny Boy was Shay’s brother, he’d always be loyal to him. Conor knew that and didn’t begrudge him those family ties. He saw now how torn up Shay was about what had happened, and that his own response had only made that worse. Shay was a good man, his intentions always uncomplicated and pure. Conor didn’t have the heart to hold his feet to the fire for what his brother had done.
“Yeah, let’s all go. See how the new family is coming along,” Conor said to Shay’s obvious relief. He picked up his guitar case in one hand and slapped Shay on the back with the other, and they quickly fell into loose, joking banter on their way out.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The day’s earlier good weather had been replaced by gray skies and steady rain, but it was still bright enough to fill the hospital room with natural light. The bed was inclined slightly so that Sophie could let the baby nurse. Gavin was curled up next to her, alternating between watching his wife and watching their daughter. For once, he was speechless. And content.
The birth had been one of those rare and enviously easy ones. By the time they made it to the hospital, Sophie was almost fully dilated and only had to push four times. The baby girl was cleaned, weighed and measured, and Gavin found himself cutting the umbilical cord in a daze. Sophie was then presented with the baby and encouraged to engage in skin-on-skin contact to foster bonding. There was no trouble with that, as she was awestruck at her daughter’s perfection.
Once in a private room, Gavin and Sophie adopted their position together in the bed and hadn’t moved. Except for when a nurse suggested Gavin step out of the room so she could have a check on Sophie, there hadn’t been all that much time between the birth and this afterglow. He’d used the brief time apart to text Conor.
They didn’t register the knock at the door, didn’t even look up when Conor, Shay, and Danny Boy entered the room.
“Oh!” Shay said.
Sophie looked up to find the three men standing there, each with a degree of embarrassment on their faces. She was slow to realize that but for the baby’s head, her breast was exposed. Gavin sat up and blocked their view.
“Well? Get the fuck out already,” he told them. He hadn’t said it with anger and they didn’t take offense as they turned around and stepped outside the room.
“Sorry, darlin’. I told Conor, but didn’t think he’d bring a crowd.”
Sophie smiled. She felt like she was in a drugged state, though labor had progressed so quickly she hadn’t had an epidural. The strongest medicine she had was ibuprofen for soreness. The surge of hormones had left her both numb and exceedingly happy.
“It’s okay. I want to introduce her to everyone,” she said.
The baby had fallen asleep and Sophie carefully pulled her away from her breast. Gavin helped her cover up.
All three men were waiting right outside the door and Gavin waved them in.
“Are you sure it’s okay?” Shay whispered.
“It’s grand,” Gavin replied.
“We can come another time,” Shay continued.
“Why are you whispering?” Sophie asked. “It’s okay, just act normal.”
Shay laughed and leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek. They all took turns congratulating the new parents and admiring the sleeping baby. Before long, Shay suggested he and Danny Boy leave. Conor stayed behind while Gavin walked them out.
“So,” Conor said.
“I know,” Sophie replied. Though they were no longer as close as they used to be, she could still read him. In that one little word, she recognized the mix of his emotions. He was happy for her, amazed by the baby’s presence, and yet also concerned about what this meant for all their lives. This was a change in the dynamic they had enjoyed for so many years.
“You’re beautiful. The two of you are. This suits you perfectly.”
Sophie didn’t bother to try to blink away the tears and they rolled down her cheeks. She knew she was a mess, with her hair mostly falling out of her ponytail, makeup smudged, wearing a generic hospital gown, and IV tube and blood pressure monitor attached to her arms. But he wasn’t seeing any of that. His opinion, and approval even, still meant a lot.
“Thank you, Connie.”
He sat on the side of the bed so he could give her a hug, careful to give the baby space. As he pulled away, he wiped dry her tears, then gazed down. “Those idiots didn’t think to ask, but I will. What’s her name?”
“Daisy.”
“That’s a fine literary name.”
She wasn’t surprised that he recognized the F. Scott Fitzgerald connection. Though Conor was not formally educated, he had always pursued knowledge of the arts. It was an i
nterest they had in common.
“We think she’ll be an improvement on the fictional version.”
Conor smiled. “I don’t have any doubt about it.” He gestured to the baby. “Can I?”
“Be careful. She’s brand new,” Sophie said as he took Daisy into his arms. He held her with ease.
“You’re good at that.”
“You of all people should know how much the ladies love me.”
Sophie watched him as he cradled the baby. He held her protectively with one arm while stroking her cheek with his other hand. For a moment, she had a view into an alternate reality where they were together and this was their child. There had been a brief time when that could have been a possibility. But Gavin and this life was always her destiny. She was happier now than she ever imagined she could be.
And Conor was with Felicity. They made a great couple, each challenging the other in ways they needed—him to be more mature, and her to be less guarded. Sophie was good friends with Felicity, making her already complicated relationship with Conor that much more so.
“Conor?”
“Hmm?”
“Where’s Felicity?”
He was frozen still for a moment. “Em, at the house, I should think.”
“You should have brought her. You should have called her the second you found out.”
Daisy’s toes had come loose from the swaddling blanket and he touched them one by one. “You’re right. That’s the thing to do, isn’t it?”
“Why didn’t you?”
A nurse opened the door and came into the room before he could respond. Gavin followed after her and Conor stood up. The nurse took Daisy from Conor and moved her to a changing table.
“What do you think?” Gavin asked.
“Incredible. Really, man. I’m so happy for the both of you,” Conor said and the two men embraced, giving each other hearty slaps on the back.
“It truly is a wonder, isn’t it?”
“You’re the luckiest man I know, Gav.”
“Isn’t that the truth!” Gavin said and grinned at Sophie.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Shay had cut the hospital visit short for a variety of reasons, including wanting to limit the opportunity for Danny Boy to somehow screw things up. He had also sensed Conor’s desire to say something to Sophie. There was still a connection between those two, but Shay could see it was of a different, less intimate, nature now. And then there was still the NME issue.
“He didn’t say no, yeah?” Danny Boy said as they drove back to the house. He crossed and uncrossed his legs while opening his window an inch, then another before finally closing it.
“What?”
“Conor. He didn’t say no to me going back on tour.”
“Yes he did.”
“I mean when I asked him for another chance at the end there.”
Shay sighed and shook his head. “You mean when you were busy having him chase you around the bleeding living room?”
Danny Boy laughed. “He’s not as fast as you’d think, aye?”
“You did a piss poor job of setting things right. What the fuck? No apology?”
“It’s not the apology that counts. It’s your actions. I’ll show him before the tour starts again that I can be trusted.”
“Don’t count on it, Danny Boy.”
“Ah, you’ll see.”
Danny Boy continued on, talking incessantly about his grand plan to get back into Conor’s good graces. He kept talking through the drive, and didn’t stop even when they were back inside the house. Shay barely listened as he replaced pillows on the sofas and straightened the coffee table and ottoman. He was delaying the inevitable of bringing James and Felicity into this situation. But finally, he knew he had to make the call. Ignoring Danny Boy, he climbed the stairs up to the second level of the house and went to the large empty room that had been as Jessica’s dance studio.
The high peaked roof and one mirror-covered wall made the room feel larger than it was. The hardwood floors were worn but smooth. Shay had specially installed the mirrors along with a barre with the intention of convincing Jessica to move to Dublin to be with him. He had wanted her to feel comfortable and for her to know that he supported her dancing.
And she was who he wanted to call now as he scrolled through his contacts. He didn’t want to be dealing with Danny Boy’s mess. He wanted to call Jessica and tell her about Sophie and the baby. They had always had an easy time talking on the phone, preferring real conversation to text.
After Jessica had allowed him to watch her ballet class and shared her deepest disappointment with him, Shay had flown back home to Dublin to try to be of some service to Gavin during the fallout caused by the Vanity Fair article which exposed his family’s secrets. He’d found, as was often the case, that Conor had been the one Gavin relied on first. While Gavin was grateful for Shay’s attempt to be there for him, it was clear that there wasn’t much he could do. Gavin needed his space as he tried to wrap his head around the press and fan reaction.
Shay decided to stay in town for several more days just in case, but most of his time was spent trying to connect with Jessica. With her school and work schedule and him trying to work on the movie soundtrack long-distance, they traded missed calls before falling into a pattern of speaking when she was off her shift at the restaurant, making it just after five in the morning for him.
For four days in a row, he stretched out in bed, trying not to let her hear the sleep in his voice, and they talked for an hour or more. Using this distance to their benefit, they got to know each other little by little. He told her a what it was like growing up in Dublin with a small-town mentality, only to travel the world at age eighteen. At her request, he listed every country he had been to, along with his thoughts on whether he would go back on his own. He admitted he had never been married and hadn’t had very many long-term relationships. She told him about life growing up in San Francisco with her Chinese American mother and African American father. She spoke fondly of her two older twin brothers, her hometown, and the arts high school she had attended. She admitted she had only had two serious boyfriends, both of whom were dancers. Neither spoke of how they might make their long-distance relationship work.
On the fifth morning she surprised him with a video call.
“Let me see your face, Shay,” she told him with a laugh.
“What?” He pulled the phone away from his ear and saw her smiling at him. She was still wearing the quasi-Asian black dress that was her restaurant uniform. But her hair was down from its tight bun and rather than being straight was now full of loose curls. Just looking at her pretty face made his morning erection even harder. With a start, he checked to be sure the sheet covered his waist. He realized after a moment that she couldn’t see that part of him.
“I woke you,” she said. “I’m sorry. What time is it?”
Shay sat up and squinted at the bedside clock. “Half five.”
“Oh no. I didn’t realize—I thought there was a bigger time difference, that it was later there. You should have told me.”
“It’s fine, really. How was your night?” He pulled his feet up and rested his forearm on one knee as he held the phone up.
Her eyes scanned over him and he looked down at his shirtless torso to see what she did. He wasn’t a fitness obsessive like Gavin and Conor but to keep from wrecking his back with all the hours he put in at his drum kit, he did abdominal and back exercises to build up the muscles. His pecs and abs were well formed, his chest smooth and strong. He also did arm weights and had the defined biceps, triceps, and forearms to show for it. Seeing her openly examine him sent him rigid again and he was glad he could limit what she saw. They had barely kissed after their dinner date. He had wanted to go slow after how skittish she had seemed, and had only brushed his lips against hers before giving her a lingering kiss on the cheek. He had repeated this when saying goodbye the next day before leaving for the airport. But with the open desire she was showing him n
ow, it felt like jumping ahead a few steps and he didn’t mind that at all.
“I feel overdressed,” she said with a laugh.
“Make yourself as comfortable as you’d like.”
“I will.”
She didn’t move, though, and he thought he must have crossed the line. There was no way they were going to go from a kiss on the cheek to video phone sex.
“Shall I put on a shirt? I’ll put on—”
“No, don’t,” she said. “I was just thinking.”
He watched with curiosity as she set her phone on the coffee table in front of her, sat on the floor, and started unbuttoning the top of her high-necked dress. The buttons were set closely together and it took her some time to undo them, raising his anticipation. She stopped at mid-chest level and the dress opened enough for him to see her bra-covered breasts. The bra was black lace and her breasts were no more than a handful, but perfectly desirable to him. Her small nipples were dark and pointed, and he envisioned taking one into his mouth. The thought made him wonder how expressive she might be in bed. Would she moan or did she hold back in verbalizing how she felt? Would she like dirty talk? Enjoy spanking? Out of her view, he pulled on his boxer briefs to free himself. He was too hard now to be contained.
“There. We’re about even now.”
That made him smile. “I’d say you have the advantage.”
“When did you say you’re coming back to New York?”
He watched as she toyed with another button on her dress. “Not soon enough, Jess.”
“Well, we’re sort of together now.”
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