by Abby Blake
Or the earth-shattering orgasms they’d forced upon her over and over.
But right now the memories weren’t enough to set aside her concerns.
She’d always dealt with her men instinctively. It hadn’t been easy to find a balance between submission and equality yet until a few moments ago she’d thought she’d been doing all right. But she hadn’t even noticed how much of himself Alex had kept from her.
“Should I go talk him?” she asked, uncertain if the timing was very wrong or not.
“Use the word ‘yellow,’” Malcolm told her, apparently understanding something Sophie didn’t.
“Yes, Sir,” she said as her eyes filmed with tears. She nodded and glanced up at both of them. “Thank you.”
“Go talk to him, little sub,” Adrian said in the same indulgent tone. “We’ll meet you at the ceremony.”
She nodded and left the room quickly.
* * * *
Alex could still feel the sting on his palm.
He’d lost it, plain and simple, but he couldn’t really find it in him to be sorry. His anger had flared the moment he’d realized how much weight Sophie had lost over the past few months. She wasn’t skeletal skinny—not like the women he’d once known—but her rapid weight loss wasn’t healthy and certainly wasn’t something he’d wanted.
“Sir?” she asked from the doorway, her head down, her demeanor submissive, “may I come in?”
He hesitated to answer, a part of him wanting to send her away until he was more in control of his own emotions, but it was obvious she was here with Adrian’s and Malcolm’s approval.
“Come here, little sub,” he ordered, reaching out to take her hand as she moved closer. He had her facedown over his lap before she could protest.
“Sir, please, no,” she pleaded as he flipped the soft lace away from her bottom and inspected the handprint he’d left on her ass.
“Relax, little sub, I’m not going to beat you. I’m just checking the damage.”
She relaxed against him then, letting him run his fingers over the slightly raised welts left by his hand. Satisfied, and more than a little relieved that she wasn’t going to bruise, he carefully lifted her up to cradle her against his chest. She held on tight, sighing softly when he began to run his fingers through her hair.
“Alex,” she asked after several minutes of silence, “what did you do before you bought Viper’s Dungeon?”
He closed his eyes and tried not to give away how many times he’d managed to avoid that exact question. It wasn’t that he had anything to be ashamed of—he’d actually enjoyed his career for many years—but it had taken just one thing to taint all of his memories.
“We’re going to be late,” he said, lifting her up slightly so that he could put her on her feet.
She clung to him then, holding on with a strength he hadn’t realized she owned. “Yellow,” she whispered, her word very deliberate and, despite its soft sound, very clear.
He eased back into the chair, his hands threading into her hair almost of their own volition.
“I was a stuntman,” he said, trying to decide how much he needed to share to convince her that everything was all right. “For most of my career I worked as a body double for Zack Adams. I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie so most of the time I loved it.”
“But something happened to change your mind?” she asked quietly, her fingers caressing his chest gently as she waited for him to answer.
“Making movies is a whole different world,” he said, trying to put everything into perspective in his mind. He’d had a couple of years to think through everything that had happened but still he’d been unable to reconcile it all in his mind. “For women there is this huge pressure to stay skinny. They’re not kidding when they say the camera adds twenty pounds, so the actresses you see on the big screen are even thinner in real life than they look in the movies.” Sophie stayed quiet, letting him tell the story at his own pace. Even as the words slowly tumbled from his mouth, he realized that saying them out loud, sharing this with someone he loved was already helping. “Casey was an amazing stuntwoman. Highly skilled, highly trained, but the pressure to be as skinny as the actresses she did stunt work for took its toll on her body. She practically starved herself to the point of emaciation.” He closed his eyes as footage of her final stunt replayed in his mind. “She died doing a stunt that should have been safe. She’d starved herself so much in the name of beauty”—he nearly spat the offensive word—“that she didn’t have the energy or concentration necessary to do the stunt properly. She died because the world told her she had to be skinny.”
“So you smacked me because I lost weight?” Sophie asked, cuddling him closer.
He held her head against his chest and rocked slightly, taking comfort in the fact that she understood the connection, even if he couldn’t quite explain the fear that had gripped him when he’d realized just how much weight she’d lost.
She lay quietly in his arms as he worked through the emotions. He understood that Sophie losing weight wasn’t the same thing as what had happened to Casey but the fear of losing the woman he loved more with every breath was playing havoc with his emotions.
“I’m sorry, Alex,” she said very quietly. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“I know, sweetheart.”
“I don’t actually want to be skin-and-bones skinny,” she said, lifting away from his chest and touching her hand to his face, “but I was an unhealthy weight when you met me.”
“I love your curves,” he said, caressing his hands over her hip and thigh. “Please don’t lose anymore.”
“Casey died because she was unhealthy,” Sophie said in a kind voice that took the sting from her words. “I want to be a healthy body weight, Alex. The curves are a natural part of my shape, so I think we can find a compromise.”
“Thank you,” he said, finally lifting her off his lap and setting her on her feet. He kissed her as he stood up, his love for her growing stronger even as his thoughts turned back to the responsibilities he held as the owner of Viper’s Dungeon. “Let’s get this ceremony over so that I can bring you home and hold you all night.”
* * * *
Sophie kept a surreptitious eye on Maya, following her lead when it came to dungeon Dom-sub etiquette. In some ways it was like an entirely different world. The relationship she shared with all of her men somehow both similar and completely different to what she was experiencing here.
She watched in fascination as Penny knelt in front of Alex, her Dom standing behind her as she promised to commit her life, her heart, her soul, and her obedience to the man she loved. Sophie had heard similar vows in church weddings, but in this setting the word “obedience” took on a far more ominous meaning. She nearly laughed when she realized how much that turned her on. It no longer frightened her to be in a relationship with dominating men. She obeyed them in the dungeon and mostly in the bedroom, and it seemed to work well for the four of them. The rest of the time she was in charge of her own life.
Penny’s Dom, Adam, smiled as he agreed to similar vows—without the promise of obedience, of course—but with the added vow to protect and provide for her for the rest of his life.
Despite the similarities and the differences between other marital and commitment ceremonies she’d attended, it was still very easy to feel the emotional connection between these two people. Penny and Adam were obviously deeply in love, and it gave Sophie that happy, romantic little glow deep down, the same as any other wedding.
She blinked the happy tears from her eyes as she listened to Alex announce that Adam had a gift for his submissive that he would like everyone to be a part of.
Malcolm had told her that it was tradition at Viper’s Dungeon for the ceremony to often end with a BDSM scene so she wasn’t really surprised when Adam fastened a collar around Penny’s neck, attached a leash to the front, and then led her to the wooden stockade set up on the stage beside them.
She was barely in plac
e when he struck her with a cane, leaving a vicious red line on the back of her thighs. Penny made a startled noise, apparently not expecting the hit to be quite so hard, or perhaps not so early. The second strike was just as brutal, Penny’s sob filling the room a moment before the third one landed.
Sophie winced feeling almost certain that the marks would bruise. These days she enjoyed being spanked, even the harsh slaps Alex had given her earlier tonight still tingled in her pussy, but she was almost mind-numbingly certain that she would not need or want the level of pain Adam was giving Penny.
She wailed with the four hit, her knees buckling as pain overwhelmed her. Before she could recover, Adam nodded to a man behind him and then watched as the second man gripped Penny’s hips, slammed his cock inside her, and fucked her mercilessly.
Sophie dragged in a startled breath. She hadn’t realized that Penny had a second Dom. He hadn’t been part of the ceremony so she’d just assumed that Penny and Adam were a couple, not a trio.
But when the first man finished another stepped forward. Sophie swallowed hard when she realized there were three more men behind him, all dragging on condoms as they waited their turn. Penny continued to sob, her body shaking violently as they gripped her hips and fucked her harder.
Overwhelmed, Sophie turned away, her movement catching Adrian’s and Malcolm’s attention.
“Relax, little sub,” Adrian whispered as he pulled her closer. She shivered in his embrace, unwilling to break the dungeon’s rules by talking but feeling the need to burrow into her lover’s embrace. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, but didn’t try to make her turn back to the stage. Penny’s scream went right through her, the noise making Sophie shake even harder.
All of the gathered Doms clapped soon after, Penny’s crying finally reducing to quiet sobs as Adam thanked everyone for attending their special day and invited them to play for the rest of the evening.
Sophie shook her head, fairly certain she never wanted to “play” again.
The lights dimmed almost immediately, a sudden fear of the dark pounding through her chest as she tried to rationalize what she’d just seen. She knew from the legal agreement she’d signed that the club policy was “safe, sane, and consensual.” None of her Doms had seemed concerned so there had to be a rational explanation for what she’d just seen.
Nausea hit her unexpectedly and she tried desperately to hide it from her Doms. Unfortunately, she wasn’t that good an actress.
“Sophie,” Malcolm said, lifting her chin so that she had no choice but to look at him, “you’re safe here. I know the first visit can be overwhelming but no one is going to hurt you.”
She nodded, swallowing down the bile that reached the back of her throat.
“I need the bathroom.”
Malcolm went to lift her into his arms but loud angry voices caught his attention. They all turned to see one of the female cleaners yelling at a man dressed in leather. “Sorry, baby,” Malcolm said, “I need to handle this. Stay with Adrian.”
Adrian nodded, wrapped an arm around her waist, and walked her to the bathroom door not far from where they’d been standing. “I’ll wait just here.” She nodded, grateful that all of her Doms respected her need for privacy even as she rushed into the small room. She’d never been aroused by the idea of having to pee while someone watched and her men had easily accepted that she didn’t want it as part of their lifestyle. But right now she was especially grateful for their understanding. She was hideously embarrassed to be reacting this way to a scene that she didn’t fully understand.
The moment she closed the door to the toilet stall she fell to her knees, heaving painfully as her stomach emptied violently. She heaved several more times, her face feeling heated, her hands shaking as the nausea slowly receded. She spent a few shaky moments waiting to make sure it was actually over before trying to stand. Thankfully she felt a little better so she flushed the toilet and then opened the door intending to rinse her mouth and pull herself together before going back to join her men.
“Are you okay?” a very skinny, blonde woman asked as Sophie reached the sink. “Would you like me to go get your Dom?”
“No,” she said quickly. “I’m okay now.” Surprisingly that was actually true. She was still a little clammy but nothing like the way she’d felt a few moments ago.
“Hey, didn’t I see you with Malcolm and Adrian?” she asked with a smile.
Sophie nodded, trying to be polite, but not really wanting to chat in the bathroom with a stranger.
“They’re both great Doms,” she said with a wink. “And oh my god what they can do to with their cocks is heavenly. I think you’ll enjoy getting fucked by them. I know I do.”
Do?
The younger woman winked as she turned to the mirror and fussed with her hair. “If you get a chance, you should approach Master Alex as well. He’s the best fuck I’ve ever had. Hell I can still barely walk from last week’s session.”
Sophie had begun to shake again, but now for a whole different reason. Anger burned her gut even as she finally realized that none of her men had made her any promises of fidelity. Hell, they worked in a fucking sex club. “Playing” with other women was probably part of their job descriptions.
And if Penny’s “gift” was anything to go by, they probably wouldn’t even see what Sophie’s problem was. God, how could she have been so naïve?
The woman beside her continued chatting happily, apparently unaware of Sophie’s turmoil.
“I’m sorry,” Sophie managed to mumble when the woman finally took a breath, “I’m still not feeling very well. I’m going to go…ah…find my…ah…Adrian and ask him to take me home.”
“Of course,” the woman said, giving her a friendly but concerned smile. “I hope you feel better soon.”
Sophie nodded, her movements feeling jerky and wooden, her limbs weighed down with grief. “It was nice meeting you,” she lied.
* * * *
“Where’s Sophie?” Alex asked as he came to stand beside Adrian.
He pointed his thumb over his shoulder and mouthed the word “bathroom.” Someone had turned the music on full blast, and when it was pounding, it was far easier to read lips and signals than to try and get a conversation heard.
“Is she okay?”
Adrian’s instinct was to nod in reassurance but he wasn’t one hundred percent certain it was correct. He knew that Penny’s “gift” had been a shock to Sophie—and if he’d known what Adam had planned he would have warned her—but he intended to explain as soon as they got home so even if she was a little confused right now she would be okay when she understood.
Alex looked concerned enough to follow her in despite knowing that privacy in the bathroom was one of Sophie’s hard limits.
He leaned close to Alex’s ear to shout over the music. “Gina’s in there. She’ll let us know if something’s wrong.”
Alex nodded, but no longer looked ready to barge into the room and grab their sub.
But when she finally did come through the door, she was so pale he took a step toward her. His heart leapt into his throat when she nervously backed away.
“Sophie?” he asked, still uncertain what to do. Considering that Alex still stood beside him, it was obvious he wasn’t the only one.
She shook her head and pointed to the door on the far side of the room—the one that led to the office area and connected to the apartment. He nodded, grateful that they lived so close. He stepped toward her, intending to lift her into his arms, but again she backed off.
Adrian had no idea where Malcolm came from but he scooped her into his arms, held her tight, and headed toward the apartment. Alex and Adrian were right behind him.
* * * *
Nausea gripped her again by the time they reached the apartment. She managed to mumble the word “sick” into the quieter space and Malcolm thankfully understood. He carried her into the bathroom and sat with her as she dry heaved over the porcelain bowl.
He patted her face with a wet washcloth, his touch comforting, caring, his loving attention making her ache even more.
“I’m sorry,” she finally whispered, the pain in her chest stalling the words that needed to come. She settled for an explanation that might have been true. “It must have been something I ate.”
“It’s okay, baby,” he said as he smoothed the washcloth over the back of her neck. “You’ll feel better soon.”
If only that were true. Her heart was breaking into a million tiny pieces. She didn’t expect to ever feel better again.
* * * *
“She’s finally asleep,” Malcolm whispered as Alex and Adrian stood in the doorway. They both still had that dominating presence that seemed to be so natural for them, but at the moment they were both looked nearly as pale as Sophie. “What happened at the club?”
It was possible that it was just what Sophie had claimed—a touch of food poisoning—but her reaction had been just a little too similar to the way she’d been the day her mother had died, and because of that Malcolm wasn’t willing to accept things at face value.
The fact that she’d backed away from Adrian rather than step into his arms was very concerning. When she was exhausted and vulnerable after a scene, she snuggled into them. It seemed likely she’d react the same way when she was ill, and not pull away as she’d done. Malcolm tried not to think of the way she’d stiffened in his arms when he’d lifted her up and carried her back here. Whatever had happened, it was affecting her deeply.
“She was disturbed by Penny and Adam’s scene,” Adrian said with a shake of his head. “We should have realized he’d plan something like that. We should have warned Sophie of what she might see.”