“Do you like Greek yogurt or normal?” Jen asked.
“I’ll eat any kind without chunks of fruit,” he answered.
She laughed. “A picky eater, are you?”
“Not usually. I like fruit. Just not little mushy surprise pieces of it.”
She shook her head, shoulders shaking with laughter as she picked out a few containers and placed them in the cart.
He liked this. Them being domestic. They’d left work together and came to the store, like a newlywed couple. Having her in his home had been a bit of an adjustment, but not in bad way. It was nice. He kissed her when he wanted to, sought her out in the middle of the night when he wanted to, showered with her. It was like his life had done a one-eighty, and he had no desire to go back to the way things were before.
And as happy as she seemed most of the time—all things in her life considered—something was off. It could be the fact that her world had also done a complete turnaround. Things had happened fast. They’d finally received the all clear to enter her apartment, but they hadn’t gone yet. He knew she was nervous, and there was no telling what kind of settlement she’d get. Insurance wasn’t known for its generosity.
TJ wasn’t worried about the money situation, but he knew she was. He hadn’t forgotten about the unpaid water bill, and he couldn’t help wondering how bad her finances might be. It was a subject he wasn’t ready to broach with her. As much as he wanted it to be, right now, it was none of his business, and he knew bringing it up would only make her mad and feel defensive. But he was a facts and numbers kind of guy, so it was killing him not to know exactly what they were dealing with. What she was dealing with.
He continued to follow her with the cart, answering her questions, throwing a few things in he usually bought for himself.
“Miss Mackenzie!” A child at the end of the aisle screeched.
Jen’s head jerked over, and TJ watched her face light up. “Jade, hi!”
The little girl ran toward Jen, who knelt down just in time to practically be tackle hugged. She laughed, grabbing onto the edge of the cart. “My goodness, what a greeting.”
TJ looked up to see a woman pushing a cart toward them, a smile on her face. Jen looked up at the woman. “Hi, Stacy.”
“Jen, we’ve missed you so much. As you can see.” She nodded toward her daughter.
Jen stood up. “I’ve missed you guys, too.”
The little girl looked up at Jen with such admiration in her eyes. “I start fourth grade pretty soon and my mom said I can try out this year for the kid parts in the high school plays. Will you come and see it if I’m cast?”
“Of course I will,” Jen said, ruffling the girl’s hair. “Have you been practicing?”
TJ figured this little girl must have been one of Jen’s students at the community theater that had closed a couple of months ago.
“She does scales every morning and night. And talks about you constantly.” The woman frowned. “Do you have any word on if they plan to ever start anything new in Maple Springs? We had such an interest and such a good group. Hard to believe something else won’t start up.”
“I know. Hard for me to believe, too. A couple of people discussed starting a nonprofit, but it’s a real time commitment. No one seemed to be willing to step up.”
“I understand that. I wish I could do more, but it just isn’t feasible with my work schedule.”
“I understand, Stacy. I think that’s where most of the parents are at, and lord knows if I had the money I’d do it … but I don’t.” Jen smiled and then seemed to remember TJ standing there. “I’m sorry, this is TJ, my … boyfriend,” she said. Her eyes darted to his as if asking if her answer was acceptable. He just gave her a wink, actually loving that she’d said it.
“It’s so nice to meet you.” Stacy put out her hand. “I’m Stacy Sanchez. You are very lucky. We adore Jen, as do a lot of families in the community that she taught.”
TJ smiled. “She is pretty amazing. I was sorry to hear about the program closing. I know Jen was really disappointed.”
“We all are. I just hope they figure out something else. There are too many talented children in Maple Springs not to have some kind of theater program.”
They finally said their good-byes, and TJ and Jen headed further down the aisle. “You really miss teaching, don’t you?” he asked. Is that what had been bothering her? He knew she’d been sad about the community theater program shutting down, but he’d stupidly thought it was about losing a job. About losing income. But it was obviously about a lot more than that.
She smiled at him. “I do, yeah. I loved it. The pay was shit, obviously. But that wasn’t why I did it. All through school I was so insecure. At some point, I learned that drama and singing were my way of not only expressing myself, but gaining confidence. I like nurturing that in other children. It’s incredibly rewarding.”
God, could she be any more amazing? “I bet you’re good at it.”
She gave him a side-eye. “Was there any doubt?”
TJ chuckled. “My bad. Of course not.”
He watched her choose a loaf of bread from the bakery section. Then a package of cookies. And another package of cookies. He smiled. “So, can’t you find a similar job somewhere else? We’re so near all the other towns in the metro. Surely there’s another group like it.”
“There are others, but … I don’t know. I’ve been kind of looking, at jobs.” She glanced at him and he suddenly felt a pit in his stomach.
“Oh yeah?”
“Well, I mean, I can’t wait till the last second. You know?”
“There’s no rush, Jen. You have a home. I told you I wouldn’t let you go without a job.”
“I can’t accept your charity forever, TJ. And bartending alone won’t pay my bills.”
TJ stopped in the middle of the grocery aisle and grabbed her. With a hand on each arm, he looked into her eyes. “This is not charity, Jen. Why can’t you see that?”
“I live with you for one reason. Because my place burned down.”
“But we are seeing each other. You just said it to that woman. I loved hearing you say it.”
She stared up at him. “You’ll get sick of me if I’m always needing to be helped. It’s one-sided and unfair.”
“How can you say that? Do you think I don’t get anything out of having you in my house?” He gripped her arms harder. “You know better than that.”
She huffed out a laugh. “On-call BJ’s for room and board? There’s a name for that, TJ.” She whispered the last part.
His eyes went wide. “What the hell are you talking about? You know damn well I don’t think any such thing. I can’t even believe you just said that.”
She looked down at his hands still gripping her arms and then over his shoulder, down the aisle. “Dude, this is the cell phone age. You’re gonna be on the news tonight for a domestic dispute in the bakery aisle.”
Damn. TJ dropped his arms instantly. “Was I hurting you?”
“Of course not.” She turned away.
No, she’d been changing the subject. Deflecting. “Listen, I don’t want you to move out. I don’t want you to worry about a job. I want you with me. I know that’s selfish, but I think you want it, too.”
She turned on him. “What are you saying, TJ? That we should get married? Or just shack up until it’s not fun anymore?” She laughed. “This was all kind of an accident. I mean, obviously I’m not moving out next week. But let’s not make each other promises we may not be able to keep. Okay?”
He blew out a breath. This conversation was far from over, but this wasn’t the place to continue it. “Fine.” He grabbed onto the shopping cart again. “Let’s get out of here. What else do we need?”
“Condoms.” When he glanced at her she just held up her hands. “What? I said let’s not make promises, not let’s stop having sex. That would be stupid.”
TJ just shook his head. This woman. What was he going to do with her? Or worse, what wo
uld he do without her?
Twenty
“This time, I’m treating,” Jen said as she and Charlotte looked over the specials at Sylvia’s Café.
Charlotte gave her a long look over her menu. “Jen, you just survived a fire. Don’t even start with me.”
“Fine. We’ll split it.”
With a deep sigh, Charlotte shook her head.
They ordered the Chicken Avocado Club again. Jen had been craving it since the last time they’d come. When Charlotte came into the Stag today to see Dean and then suggested lunch to Jen, she’d jumped at the idea.
“So how is it going, living with TJ?” Charlotte asked before taking a sip of her lemonade.
“It’s good. Hard to believe, isn’t it?”
Charlotte shrugged. “Not really. He’s been into you a long time I guess. So it doesn’t surprise me that he stepped up when you needed it.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy. Funny it took me so long to realize it. Or maybe I knew and was just scared to see it.”
“Relationships are scary as hell. I get it.” Charlotte shifted in her seat. “Learning how to navigate each other’s insecurities and inner demons is serious work. But I think that’s what makes it all worth it when it’s the right person.”
Jen considered that. “I can see that. I just feel like I’m going in blind. I didn’t know any healthy couples growing up.”
“I don’t think it matters,” Charlotte said. “My parents are great. I mean, they’re not perfect. My mom’s a drama queen sometimes and my dad likes to tune her out. But they love each other. Maybe those are their ways of navigating. Point is, having loving parents has not made my relationships easier.”
“But at least you know it’s possible.”
Charlotte nodded. “Okay, that’s fair. But we all know it’s possible, because we want it. We see it in strangers and in movies. And even if we don’t know that it will last forever, I still think it’s worth it. Why not be happy for now? You never know what’s going to happen to you tomorrow.”
Jen sighed. “That’s pretty deep for lunch, Charlotte.”
They laughed, and it felt really good to have another woman to talk with. “I guess I’m just trying to decide if this is the right time to commit to someone. Maybe I should use this opportunity to make some serious changes in my life.”
Charlotte’s eyes narrowed. “Like what?”
Jen proceeded to tell her friend about the voicemail she’d received.
“Wow.” Charlotte blew out a breath. Shook her head. “That’s a tough one. What does TJ say?”
“I haven’t told him.”
“Oh, you should definitely tell him. He might have some good insight.” Charlotte leaned forward and whispered, “Maybe he’ll go with you.”
Jen’s eyes went wide. “No way. I wouldn’t even let him consider that. He loves the Stag.”
Charlotte just shrugged. “He might love you more, Jen. One thing Dean and I have been realizing is how what you think you want may not be what’s going to make you happy. Your path might look different than the one you’d had in your head. Do you know what I mean?”
“Of course, yes. But…” Jen shook her head. “There is no way I would let TJ leave the Stag.”
“And maybe there’d be no way he’d allow you to turn this offer down,” Charlotte said, her voice full of conviction. “Just tell him. See what he says. Maybe it will lead to a conversation that needs to be had. It might put some things in perspective. Help you see things clearer. Relationships are all give and take, and TJ’s not an unreasonable guy. Don’t assume what he may or may not do.”
“You’re good. Real good.” Jen smiled. “You should be a therapist.”
Charlotte laughed. “I’m just your friend. It’s always easier to tell a friend what they should do from the outside looking in. Next time Dean and I have a problem and I tell you about it, you can have your turn to be a know-it-all.”
Jen laughed. This, this was the kind of conversation she’d been missing by having no close friends. “I won’t forget you said that.”
“Just think about telling him,” Charlotte finally said.
“I will,” Jen said as their food was set down in front of them. Maybe she would, maybe she wouldn’t. Right now, she was just going to enjoy Charlotte’s company. And sneakily pay the bill.
* * *
That Friday they left work early and drove straight to Shady Meadows. TJ could tell that Jen was nervous by how quiet she’d been on the short drive over. He was nervous for her, and ready to help her however he could once they got inside.
He really had no clue what to expect when they entered, but he decided to prepare for the worst as he sought a parking spot. They’d taken her truck today in case there was anything to load up.
“Ready?”
She turned to him. “I feel sick to my stomach.”
He grabbed her hand. “I know. But it’s going to be okay. These are just things, Jen. You told me you saved the most important keepsakes, so let’s just go in and not worry about what we’ll find. Okay?”
She nodded. “Okay.”
They held hands as they made their way up to the building. The entire property had been roped off and a man was there checking identification to be sure anyone who entered had the right to be there.
TJ stood and waited while Jen gave her name and then they were both given a face mask to cover their noses and mouths.
“This isn’t a good sign,” Jen said as she pulled her mask on.
“Don’t worry. Just a precaution.” But secretly he was not feeling optimistic.
They proceeded up the newly rebuilt stairs to her unit. The minute they hit the second floor she let out a tiny gasp. The apartment was wide open, the door stripped off the hinges and sitting against the outer wall.
“Wasn’t expecting that,” she said, stopping on the landing.
“Come on.” TJ put a hand on her lower back and led her to the door. He let her step in first.
“Oh my goodness,” she whispered. Jen had stopped dead in her tracks in the doorway, so TJ gently pushed her forward and took in the room for himself.
Holy. Shit.
It was bad. Every surface was covered with soot, the ceiling had been ripped out, revealing the ducting and rafters, and the stench was enough to make you nauseous. He had no idea what to say so he stepped into the room and grabbed her hand.
“I knew it would be bad,” she said. “But this…”
“I know. Take your time,” TJ said. He took in her face, her eyes darting around the room, taking it all in. It was overwhelming, even for him who usually liked to get right to a task without hesitating. But it was hard to know where to start. The carpet and all the furniture had been drenched, and even had it been savable at one time it no longer was. Pieces of the textured ceiling had fallen on it and the soot and smell would never come clean. The place was a wreck.
“Should I start taking some photos for you?” he asked, pulling out his phone.
She could only nod.
* * *
Jen’s feet were frozen to the floor in her apartment, and she felt so close to having a panic attack it was dizzying. For the past week she’d tried not to think about everything she’d lost, or if the fire crossed her mind, she tried to remind herself that it was still possible her things weren’t ruined.
Wrong. This was a nightmare.
Everything was filthy, water-damaged, and smelly. Her eyes continued to touch on every item that she’d forgotten she owned. Books, her favorite fluffy blanket, the vintage side table she’d picked up on someone’s curb one day. And then there were her plants. Every single one looked like it was damaged beyond repair, their leaves crispy and lying limp.
The urge to move came over her and she headed into the kitchen. If she didn’t, she’d go crazy. The kitchen was even worse. She pulled open a lower cabinet, surprised to find everything looking fairly normal. Too bad it was nothing she cared about, just dish soap, trash bags, and such
. But it was a sign that maybe not everything was hopeless.
She headed back to the living room to find TJ still taking pictures with his phone. She was so glad he was with her, because alone, she might have just sat down and cried. Or hyperventilated.
Heading down the hall, she pushed open the bedroom door. Okay, so much for not crying. The bed was almost completely black, as was everything else. The clothes, shoes, dresser, walls. It was clear that none of this would be leaving with her.
Jen’s lip wobbled and a shiver ran through her body as the reality of the devastation consumed her. But she would not cry. Not again. There had been too many tears lately and she was trying desperately to be optimistic.
She heard TJ come up behind her. Touch her back.
“Jen,” he said quietly. “You okay?”
Turning, she forced the tears back. “Yes. I think so.”
He stared at her a moment, probably trying to decipher if she was really okay. “I’ll get photos in here, but I’ll need your help. I don’t want to rifle through your things.”
She nodded. “Okay, let’s start in the closet. I want to leave as soon as possible.”
* * *
That evening TJ watched television while he waited for Jen to come home. After they’d left her apartment she’d mentioned wanting to go visit her mother, so she’d left almost as soon as they’d gotten home.
He’d hated that because he had a feeling she’d been trying to avoid letting go of her emotions in front of him. She’d handled the apartment visit almost too well, even for her. Hell, it hadn’t even been his place and he’d wanted to break down.
Glancing at his watch, he sighed. He wanted her home. Missed her.
He heard her truck on the gravel drive and felt an instant mix of relief and then dread. Every time she went to see Diane he prepared himself for her to find out about her mother’s betrayal. It was hard to know how she would react to the news, but he assumed it would not be good. He would know the minute she came in if tonight Diane had come clean. Jen wasn’t the best at concealing her emotions.
Maybe This Time_A Whiskey and Weddings Novel Page 20