“Gen, remember our conversation when we first hooked up? No expectations. No commitment.”
She remembered. They were just having a good time. At least until she stupidly fell for his ass. He never wavered on where he stood regarding their relationship. She was the one who had changed the rules, at least initially.
If his actions over the last couple of days were any indication, their feelings were mutual.
“We’ve been hanging out for what? Six weeks?”
“Technically, a month,” she corrected. “The last two weeks don’t count since you kicked me to the curb before heading to California.”
“I didn’t kick you to the curb. I mainly suggested we put some distance between us.”
“Myles, that’s the same thing.”
He leaned forward with his elbows on his thighs. “Maybe it is, but… You were getting too close. We were getting too close. I wasn’t ready, at least I didn’t think I was ready, but while I was in Cali, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“Yeah, I get it. I’m pretty unforgettable.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “And you’re a character. What am I going to do with you?”
“I have a few ideas,” she cracked and wiggled her brows, hoping to loosen him up a little. She got the response she was looking for when a grin spread across his face. “Now, how about you tell me everything about you, Collin, and Whitney.”
“How much time you got?”
“For you? I’ll make time. Start talking.”
Chapter Eight
“I know we don’t know each other well, but you're not in this alone, Myles. Remember that while you're working things out in your head,” Geneva said, covering his hand with hers and squeezing.
Myles brought the back of her hand to his lips and placed a lingering kiss near her knuckles. He appreciated her words, but right now, he felt more alone than he ever had in his life. Actually, maybe off-kilter was a better way to describe the unrest flowing through him.
He glanced to his left at his sleeping son. Geneva had laid him on one end of the black sectional sofa, and they sat on the other end. What did he know about raising a child on his own? Sure, he and Whitney had tag-teamed over the last three years, but she’d been an amazing mother. She was the one who was always right there for Collin.
Yes, Myles knew his sister Soul and her husband Micah were only a phone call away. They lived a few miles away with their one-year-old daughter. Myles knew the two of them, as well as his Supreme Security family, would be by his side every step of the way. But ultimately, he was the one responsible for Collin.
And then there was Geneva.
Myles returned his attention to her, admiring her flawless skin and how beautiful she was, even without makeup. He wanted more than anything to get to know her better but had never brought his child around another woman. Neither he nor Whitney had any intentions of getting married, but both agreed to limit introductions to people they were casually involved with. Like him, Myles had never known her to be in a serious relationship. Working for the CIA made it difficult to form strong bonds that could lead to marriage.
Myles shook the last thought free. He was getting way ahead of himself. He was crazy about Geneva, but marriage wasn’t on his radar.
“I never planned to have children,” he blurted.
Geneva didn’t respond immediately. Eventually, she said, “So, Collin was an oops?”
“No, he was intentional, but not in the way that you’re probably thinking,” he hurried to say when she started to speak. Myles stood and extended his hand to her. "I'll tell you anything you want to know, but let’s talk over breakfast.”
Myles glanced at Coco, who had positioned herself on the floor near Collin. She hadn’t left his side since Yvette showed up. It seemed Collin had already made a friend, which was something that pleased Myles. He and Whitney had entertained the thought of getting him a puppy but hadn’t decided on when. They had also discussed loosening the reins and allowing him to spend more time with other children his own age. Collin had a few friends at the preschool he attended, but Whitney had never accepted any playdates for him. One of many things Myles needed to reconsider.
With her hand in his, Myles pulled Geneva up and held onto her as they headed to the kitchen. He had never been much of a hand-holder. Yet, it was another thing that was different with her. Not only did he want to keep her near, but he also couldn't help wanting to touch her.
Geneva squeezed his hand. “I’ll be right back,” she said and went in the direction of the half bath that was near the stairs.
Myles rinsed his hands in the kitchen sink, then proceeded to pull breakfast items out of the refrigerator. This unfamiliar feeling regarding Geneva was mind-boggling. He was a loner by nature, totally comfortable in his own little world. Sure, he spent a lot of time with Whitney, Collin, and some of the guys from Supreme, but mostly, it was just him.
Until now.
Until Geneva fell into his life.
Now he had to figure out how to care for his son while also weaving Geneva seamlessly into their lives. That was assuming she was still interested. Hell, there were moments when he wasn’t even sure if that’s what he wanted. Then again, after tormenting himself by spending the last two weeks away from her, Myles didn’t want to go through that again. He had spent practically every waking hour consumed with thoughts of her.
He sighed in frustration and grabbed one last item, a pack of bacon, before shutting the refrigerator door. Now he knew how his friends, Kenton and Angelo, felt this past year. Considering all the people who were a part of the Atlanta’s Finest team, he was the closest to those two. Closer than brothers, he had watched how hard they’d fallen for their women and vowed never to put himself through that.
Now those women were their wives. Kenton and Egypt had gotten married a few months ago at a church wedding. Angelo and his singing sensation wife, Zenobia, had eloped in Hawaii only weeks after that. Both men were more content than Myles had ever seen them, and he was happy for them.
“So, what are we preparing?” Geneva asked, interrupting Myles’s thoughts as she strolled into the kitchen.
He glanced down at everything he had pulled out of the refrigerator. “Well, we have a few choices. Eggs, bacon, hash browns, fruit and,” he opened the pantry, “and there’s pancake mix in here. What do you have a taste for?”
When she didn’t respond, Myles glanced over his shoulder. She was leaning against the kitchen counter, staring at him with hunger in her eyes.
He shook his head and chuckle. “You have a one-track mind.”
Geneva shrugged. “Yeah, it’s probably a gift and a curse.”
Myles would be lying if he said he didn’t like that about her. Her sexual appetite was in line with his, but they needed to have a talk before moving forward in any type of relationship.
“Tell me about Collin,” Geneva said.
As Myles tried to figure out where to start the conversation, he watched as she opened one cabinet door after another. He didn’t have much as far as dishes, pots, and pans, but he had the basics. Geneva eventually pulled out a mixing bowl. Then she grabbed the pancake mix.
Myles began cutting the cantaloupe into cubes. “My mother died giving birth to my sister.”
Geneva gasped and pancake mix flew from the box, covering part of the granite countertop, as well as the floor. “Oh, my God, Myles. That’s awful. I had no idea.”
“Yeah, one of many things you don’t know about me, but I hope to slowly change that.”
Their gazes locked. Her eyes were huge and her mouth hung open, and Myles almost laughed at her comical expression. He wasn’t the best at communicating when it came to sharing a bit of himself with anyone. He couldn’t blame her for being surprised. Not just about his mother, but also that he intended to share more of himself with Geneva.
He was definitely stepping into new territory. He didn’t know what he was doing. Unfortunately, he’d been unintentionall
y throwing out mixed signals. It was a wonder she hadn’t just said the hell with him and moved on. One thing he knew for sure, though, was that he wanted Geneva in his life…in some capacity.
As they cleaned up the pancake mix from the counter and floor, Myles shared a little about his past. Hopefully, it would help her understand why he was so closed off at times.
“That all must’ve been hard on your father.”
“It was. He was crazy in love with my mother. When she died, a part of him died, too. But he was never able to grieve the way he probably needed to because he had a baby girl to raise. Not to mention trying to also take care of my brother and me.
“Seeing him barely keep it together every day was hard to watch. He struggled in every capacity, mentally, emotionally, and physically.” Myles shook his head as memories of his father came to the forefront of his mind. His dad was the strongest man he’d ever known. Yet, those first few years had been hard for all of them. “I hated he had to experience that type of loss, and I remembered thinking that I would never get married or have kids.”
Geneva prepared the pancakes while Myles put several strips of bacon on the griddle. He went back to cutting up the cantaloupe. Usually, he didn’t keep much food in his refrigerator, but he had stopped by the store the morning before.
“So, you never want to get married,” Geneva said more as a statement than a question.
“Watching my dad after my mother died…I guess I just never wanted to feel that type of loss. I figured if I didn’t let people get close, I’d never have to go through the pain of losing them. Of course, there’s my family, who I’d kill for. Outside of them, though, I tend to keep my heart closed off and keep people at a distance.”
Working for the CIA had only magnified those tendencies. Most spies had trust issues. That went for Myles, too, but he had always been like that. Not trusting easily was just a part of his nature. In some circumstances, he could even be considered paranoid. And just because he wasn’t a part of the Agency any longer didn’t mean he let his guards down. If anything, he was even more vigilant about his surroundings. He knew better than anyone how one’s past could always come back in the form of a threat. That was one of many reasons why he used to live a solitary life while with the Agency.
Until Whitney came along.
A heaviness settled even deeper inside his chest. It still didn’t seem real that she was gone. He’d experienced loss before, but this…this was different. This type of internal pain ranked up there with losing his mother when he was a child and his father passing away a few years ago.
Geneva’s perfectly arched eyebrows dipped into a frown. “What?” she said. “What’s that look for?”
Myles wasn’t sure what she saw on his face, but instead of responding right away, he opened the drawer in front of him and pulled out a fork. He stabbed a small chunk of the cantaloupe and offered it to Geneva.
With her gaze steady on him, her frown disappeared, and her pretty brown eyes glimmered with a bit of mischief. A sly smile kicked up the left corner of her tempting mouth before she opened for him. As she slowly chewed the succulent fruit, Myles couldn’t take his eyes off of her sweet, kissable lips.
Who would’ve thought feeding someone could be so sexy?
That heaviness he’d felt in his chest moments ago slowly eased as they shared a quiet moment. This woman. This beautiful, sexy, exciting woman. Geneva had the ability to drive him nuts, but she also could evoke a lightness inside him that no one else could.
“I know you tried to distract me by feeding me, but it’s not going to work. Well, it might’ve worked a little, but tell me about you, Whitney and Collin.”
Myles turned from the counter and went back to the griddle and turned the bacon. He then started on the eggs.
“It wasn’t until I met Whitney that I started to open up some.”
Geneva snorted next to him, and he couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Okay, I started opening up a little.”
“And to think there was a time when you were even more closed off than you are now. Hard to believe.”
Myles grinned. “Yeah, you would’ve hated me back in the day. I didn’t give a damn about much of anything, except my father and my siblings. So, I didn’t have much to say to anyone.”
Geneva added the last golden-brown pancake to the tall stack on the plate. “How did Whitney change you?”
Myles mulled over the question. He wasn’t sure if she really did anything. He just noticed himself feeling at ease with her. Like he could let his guard down and know she wouldn’t take advantage of him.
“We had a few assignments together over the years and slowly bonded. Whitney’s social skills weren’t much better than mine, and like me, she had trust issues. She blamed some of her problems on growing up in foster care and being shifted from one house to another until she was twelve.”
“That had to be awful,” Geneva mumbled.
“Yeah, it was, but she and I clicked. Our bond only got stronger as time went on. Toward the end of our CIA careers, we were partnered up on almost every assignment.”
While Myles finished up the eggs, Geneva turned off the stove and leaned her hip against the counter. He didn’t have to see her face to know that she was staring at him. He could feel the heat from her gaze.
“Were you two more than coworkers? Were you married?” she asked.
“No,” Myles said. He usually didn’t mix business with pleasure. Ever. “But she was one of my best friends. For two people who typically didn’t let others get close, somehow we formed a friendship. But we never slept together.”
Geneva’s brows dipped, and a crease marred her forehead. “I don’t understand. Collin looks just like you. What do you mean you never slept with her?”
No one knew the backstory of how Collin came to be, and Myles had planned to take that information to his grave. But if he hadn’t learned anything from Kenton’s and Angelo’s relationships with their spouses, he knew that secrets had a way of coming out. Both couples had almost died…because of secrets.
Myles carried the bacon and eggs over to the small round table tucked into the corner of the kitchen and set the items down. Geneva had already set out plates and utensils. Once they grabbed the pancakes, fruit, and coffee, they sat down to eat.
“I left the CIA shortly after Whitney did. Neither of us knew exactly what we wanted to do with the rest of our lives, me especially. I just knew it was time to move on, especially after that last assignment. It was a tough one. Anything that could go wrong did.
“Anyway, a few months after we were out, Whitney showed up in Atlanta wanting to talk. She’d been living on the east coast but never stayed in one spot for long. So, when she arrived in Atlanta, I knew something was up. She was acting a little squirrely, couldn’t look me in the eyes, and it took her forever to ask me.”
“Ask you what?”
“To be the father of her child.”
Silence fell between them, and Myles could almost hear the wheels inside of Geneva’s head churning. “I never slept with her, Gen. I was just her donor. Nine months later, Collin was born.”
“If you didn’t want kids, why’d you agree?”
Myles thought about the question. In his mind, his answer was different each time he recalled that day. “Growing up in foster care, one of the things Whitney wanted but never really had was a family. Sure, she had Yvette in her life since they were twelve, but she wanted a family of her own.”
“Why didn’t she just find a man and get married? Why have a donor?”
“Trust issues. She never let a man get close enough to establish that type of bond that would lead to marriage. Growing up in foster care, moving from one house to another until she was twelve affects people in different ways. For Whitney, she kept people at a distance.”
“Except for you,” Geneva said. Myles didn’t miss the judgment or something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on in her tone.
“She had a c
ouple of friends, but our relationship was special. We clicked. A little different than you and me, but we had a bond. A closeness that neither of us really had with anyone else. So, when she asked me to be the father of her child, I said yes. I knew she’d be a good mother, and I wanted her to have that family that she desired. I wanted to help.”
Myles stopped talking when Coco trotted into the kitchen. She stopped in between their chairs and glanced from one to the other before plopping down on her haunches.
“She loves bacon, but I only give her a little bit now and then,” Geneva said, breaking off a small piece of the meat and giving it to Coco. “That’s it, girl. No more. Go eat your own food.”
She pointed to the doggy dish near the door, but Coco remained where she was. When she realized Geneva was serious, she lowered her head and laid on the floor.
“What type of arrangement did you guys have before Whitney…” Her words trailed off, and that ache Myles felt before was back.
He glanced at his watch. Yvette should be in Macon soon. Myles needed answers. Maybe then he could wrap his brain around the idea that Whitney was really gone…that he’d never be able to talk to her again. Right now, though, it just didn’t seem real.
Geneva squeezed his thigh. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned—”
“No, it’s fine. It’s still a little weird knowing that she…” He shook his head. “Anyway, I’ve been one hundred percent active in my son’s life. I might not have wanted a child at first, but there was no way I could father a child and not be a part of his life. Collin is an amazing kid. Whip-smart. Funny. He’s a ball of energy, and there’s never a dull moment with him around. I see him practically every day, if only for a few minutes.”
Geneva glanced in the living room. Where they were sitting, they could see part of the sofa where Collin was still sleeping. “You never brought him to any of the gatherings.”
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