by Meg Jolie
Tristan.
“Ugh,” Jamie said. “Doesn’t he know this is a girl’s thing? No boys allowed?”
I realized something must be up because I couldn’t imagine that Tristan would be showing up just to hang out with us girls. His eyes met mine across the room. Yeah, I could tell by the look in them that something was definitely up. My heart slammed in my chest as I wondered what was wrong. Then he gave me a smile and it calmed a little. But not much. Because the smile looked a bit strange. It was off, strained and simply not his usual relaxed grin.
“Hey,” he said as he reached our table.
“Hi—,” I started to say but I was cut off by Jamie.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded.
I was already concerned that something was up. Tristan had never invaded our girl-time before.
He flicked his gaze to her and then straight back to me. “I know you’re busy meeting about Saturday night. But I was wondering if you’re done yet? Could we go somewhere to talk?”
“That sounds serious,” Jamie accused. “Why does it sound serious? Is something wrong?”
I was wondering the exact same thing.
“Oh,” she said as her eyes narrowed at him. “You had better not be canceling for Saturday night! Is that why you showed up during the middle of our dance planning?”
Tristan shook his head. “No. Nothing is wrong. I just need to talk to Britta.”
“Um…?” I started but I was already sliding out of the booth. “Sure.”
He looked at Jamie. “You were riding home with Britta, right?” Jamie nodded. “Here.” He handed her their keys. Then he took mine out of my hand. “I’m not sure if I’m bringing her back so just in case…”
Then he took my hand and towed me out of Common Grounds. I tossed a glance over my shoulder. My friends were watching me with confusion. I was sure my look mirrored theirs. I shrugged at them. Willow gave me a small wave and then Tristan pulled me out into the chilly air.
“Hey, Tristan?” I started. My breath came out in an icy puff as we hurried down the ice-dappled sidewalk. “You’re kind of worrying me. Want to tell me what’s going on?”
“Oh, hey, don’t worry,” he said. His face softened as he realized just how upset I was becoming. “It’s…I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. But we’ll talk in the car.”
He opened my passenger door for me. After he’d tucked me inside he went around to the driver’s door. He started my car to let it warm up. Tristan rarely drove my car. I was wondering why he was now. Was I going to be that upset?
When he glanced at me, I was looking at him with raised eyebrows. It wasn’t like Tristan to act all mysterious. “So? What’s going on?”
He let out a weighty sigh. “I don’t know if I should be doing this or not. But remember the other night? We promised no more secrets?”
Suddenly, my stomach tangled itself into a knot. That preface just didn’t sound good. “Yes. Why?”
He hesitated, clearly unsure of whether or not he wanted to have this conversation. He finally looked at me. It was obvious he was feeling conflicted.
“Are we okay?” I demanded. “Did something happen? Is there something I should know about?” If there was, I needed him to just tell me.
He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. And then as if he thought that might not be reassurance enough, he pulled me into a quick hug. “Yeah, we’re good.”
“Okay,” I said as he released me. “Then what?”
“Is it considered keeping things from you if I know something that isn’t my secret to tell?” he carefully asked.
It took what felt like several long, long seconds to process that. “What are you talking about?”
He grimaced. “Have you talked to your mom yet? About the guy she’s dating?”
Tristan was well-aware of my desire not to know. That’s why his words hit me like a mental brick. Something had to be wrong. Or at least, not right.
“What’s wrong with the guy she’s dating? There’s no way he’s married,” I pointed out. I was certain of that. “She’d never date a felon,” I was only half-joking. I mean, I knew she would never but I was joking when I even mentioned it. I was trying to lighten the mood. Or maybe I was just trying to prove a point. “So…what?”
He tilted his head back in the seat. “I really don’t feel like it’s my place to tell you…”
“But you know…and you think I need to know,” I guessed.
He nodded and then looked at me again. “It’s more like I know. And I don’t want to know if you don’t know. Make sense?”
He put the car in drive and we started out of the lot.
I nodded because it did. “Is it Mr. Gallagher?” I demanded. I was suddenly sure it was.
He ignored my question as he drove through downtown.
“How about if I just show you?” he asked instead.
A thought slammed into me. “Omigosh…Is she dating Corey’s dad?! Because that would be so…awful.” His parents had been divorced since he was in grade school. His mom had walked out on them. He rarely saw her. His dad had raised him and his two brothers. “She wouldn’t…” I said under my breath.
The snow crunched under the tires as he turned his blinker on. We were turning into the lot across the street from Ellen’s Coffee House. It was another coffee shop in town. While the college and high school crowd tended to fill up Common Grounds, Ellen catered more to the older generations.
Tristan muttered an expletive.
“What?”
“I didn’t want to have to tell you. So I thought it would be better to show you,” he said. He pointed to the parked cars. He wasn’t pointing to any in the lot, though. He was pointing to those parked parallel on the street.
It took a second for my mind to wrap around what I was seeing. A silver Lexus. And a white Escalade. Okay. Not entirely unique cars. Except…
“No,” I muttered. “No way!”
“Yeah,” Tristan said with a grimace. “I just happened to be driving by on my way home. I saw them walk in together. I knew you were at Common Grounds…”
“No way!” I repeated. I wasn’t sure if I was more shocked or dumbfounded. And then I realized why Tristan had cursed. “My mom is dating my dad!?” I nearly shouted. It wasn’t a question because the proof, more or less, was staring me in the face. They’d just emerged, hand in hand from inside Ellen’s. “My parents cannot be dating!”
*~*~*
“I’m sorry,” Tristan said yet again.
We were at my house. My empty house. Mom had gotten into Dad’s Escalade and they’d driven off. With their to-go cups. She left her Lexus behind.
“It’s not your fault.” My tone implied it wasn’t his fault but it sure was somebody’s fault!
“I thought showing you the vehicles would be enough. I didn’t think we’d actually see them. I mean, I saw them walk in together. I didn’t think they’d be leaving so soon.” He looked so guilty. While I wished he wouldn’t, my mind was such a twisted up mess, I couldn’t find it in myself to tell him that right then.
He was sitting on the edge of my couch. His elbows were propped on his knees. I was pacing and I couldn’t stop. He was watching me. It was clear he had no idea what to say.
My dad?! My lying, cheating, out-of-our-lives-for-good dad!
“Anyone could’ve seen them together!” I pointed out.
Tristan seemed to be weighing his words. “They are adults, Britta. They really probably don’t care if people see them together.”
“Well they should!” I decided. I continued to pace. Was Dad the person Mom had gone on vacation with? He couldn’t be the one. He just couldn’t. “Maybe they’re just getting coffee,” I decided. It came out as more of a mutter than a declaration. Tristan was wise enough not to refute it…and he could have. Because that didn’t explain why the left together. And…they were holding hands. And she was smiling that happy smile that had become semi-permanent lately. I had managed to mo
mentarily repress that memory. But it had bounced right back to the surface.
Tristan’s face crumpled into a look of apprehension.
I threw my hands up in the air. “What? Now what? Is there more?” There couldn’t possibly be more.
“I saw them together a while ago,” he admitted.
I stopped my pacing to stand in front of him. I folded my arms across my chest and raised an annoyed eyebrow at him.
“It was right before school started,” he admitted.
“Before school started? You mean, like before it restarted after winter break?” I tossed the idea out there.
He shook his head. “No. I mean before it started last fall.”
I made a sound that was awfully close to a whimper. That was…half a year ago. Had they been together that long? I felt sick. Suddenly, standing wasn’t agreeing with me. I slumped down next to Tristan. He pulled me into a hug. For once, his touch didn’t do a lot to make me feel better.
“Where did you see them?” I asked. My tone was resigned. Yet, I still almost couldn’t believe it. Despite the mounting evidence against them.
“Ironically, same place. At Ellen’s. You and I weren’t together at the time. I really didn’t think much of it. I saw them leaving together. They seemed to be getting along. He had held the door open for her. He walked her to her car and they hugged. I didn’t think a whole lot of it. But then…” His voice trailed off but it was obvious he had more to say.
The question was whether or not I wanted to hear it. Did I want to? No. Not really. Did I need to? I mentally sighed and decided that I did.
“Then?” I prompted.
“The other night, when you were with Willow, I saw him at your house. Well, I saw his car. And then he came out. Your mom followed and they, ah, well, it was more than a hug that time.”
I fought off a shudder. I had been at Common Grounds with Willow. I had been lamenting over the state of my relationship with Tristan. And Tristan was at home witnessing my parents…canoodling.
“So it’s true. My parents are dating.” No matter how many times I said it, it just didn’t seem real. “They were right there, for the whole neighborhood to see. But Mom knew I’d be out with Willow.”
“Britta,” Tristan said calmly. He gently put his hands on my cheeks and held them there so I’d have to look at him. “This might not be a bad thing. Haven’t you commented on how happy your mom has been lately?”
I shook my head. “It’s not supposed to be that way,” I stubbornly told him. “Everyone in my life keeps changing on me! Everyone I love. My dad wasn’t the person I thought he was. He walked away from us! My mom, I thought we were on the same page and she’s practically skipping along in another book entirely. And Corey,” I quickly clamped my mouth shut.
“It’s okay,” Tristan said with a small sigh. “But Britta, people change. Your dad made a mistake. Maybe he changed into a person he didn’t like and maybe he wants to change back. I mean, if I were him, I’d be kicking myself everyday realizing what an idiot I’d been. Don’t you think it’s possible he’s doing the same thing?”
“Stop being so smart all the time. It’s irritating,” I pouted.
I closed my eyes and snuggled into him. I needed a minute to clear my head. This was all too much. Too much of a surprise. Too much of a shock.
“I just…” I finally tried again. I was attempting to be more reasonable this time. “I just thought Mom and I were on the same page.”
“Things change,” Tristan carefully reminded me. “They just do. When is the last time you talked to your mom about your dad?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure. Maybe the night you stopped by? Before we were dating?”
He nodded. “If I recall, that didn’t go so well. You didn’t even let her finish telling you what she had to say.”
I groaned. “That would explain why she has this sudden interest in me fixing my relationship with my dad.”
“Or,” Tristan said, “maybe it’s not sudden. Maybe it’s that she’s just now realized how bad it is. Hearing it from your dad’s side.”
I frowned. “So maybe that’s the only reason he’s taken a sudden interest in me. To make my mom happy.”
Tristan was quiet for a minute. “I doubt that Britta. Your dad loves you. I think he was probably just giving you some time. I mean, yeah, it probably has something to do with it. But I don’t think it’s the only reason.”
A small part of me knew he was probably right. My dad did love me. I knew it, even if I didn’t like to think about it.
“I’m really sorry you had to hear it from me,” he said. “I feel like it really wasn’t my place to tell you. But I felt just as bad knowing and not telling you.”
“I know. I get it. It was like a no-win for you.”
The sound of the garage door cut me off from saying anything else.
“Well,” Tristan said. “I guess that means I should get going. I’m sure you’re going to want to talk to your mom.”
“Oh, yeah,” I said. “We’ve got a lot to talk about.”
21
Dad? You are dating Dad?” My voice was trembling. I had to work at enunciating each word. If not, I might actually choke on them.
She nodded. “Yes. Maybe we should go into the living room to talk about this. I think this is going to take a while. We’ll both be more comfortable sitting down.”
I shook my head. “I’m good right here,” I said as I leaned against the kitchen counter. The truth was, I wasn’t sure if I could move. But my mouth seemed to be working just fine. “Don’t you think you should’ve told me about that?”
She gave me her best parental look as she leaned up against the countertop opposite of me. “If I recall, you requested that I not drag you into my dating.”
“I didn’t mean if you were dating him!”
She gave me an irritatingly patient smile. “Well, then, you should have clarified.”
I crossed my arms. I was sure I looked like I was pouting. And maybe I was, just a bit. But I also felt like I was trying to keep myself from falling apart completely. “Do you think this is amusing? This is really important and you were keeping it from me.”
“I distinctly recall you telling me that you wanted to see me dating. You wanted to see me having fun but that you didn’t want to meet any of them unless I thought he was the one.”
“Oh, he’s the one alright,” I grumbled. “The wrong one.”
“He’s your father!” Mom said. It was clear she was starting to lose her calm. “He loves you. You love him, even if you don’t think you do. You do.”
I shrugged. “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I like him. I didn’t think you liked him.” The last sentence came out sounding like an accusation. Maybe it was.
Mom let out a deep breath. “I know, sweetie. I said some things I shouldn’t have. Out of anger. Out of hurt. But I wouldn’t have been so hurt and angry if I didn’t love him so much. But it’s been years. I’ve been able to let it go. I realized that we had hit a rough patch back then and neither of us handled it well.”
I waited. She needed to elaborate because I just wasn’t ready to get on board with this yet.
She sighed. “You know he was executor of your grandpa’s will. You know how big of a mess that turned into.” I didn’t, not really. I just knew that there was constant squabbling among his siblings. And because he was executor, he was caught in the middle of each heated argument. None of which I knew the specifics of. But I nodded anyway. “He was so busy with that. He was busy with work. He was angry and withdrawn. Around the same time…” She sighed and faded off. “A new professor was hired in my department. I was possibly spending more time with him than I should have. We went to lunch a few times. But they were working lunches. Nothing happened,” Mom quickly supplied. “Nothing ever happened. I mean, not really. However, your dad already didn’t like that I was spending time with this man. I never hid it from him, and he made it clear he didn’t approve. I assured him it wa
s no big deal. Then while we were at a faculty function, this man hit on me, in front of your father.”
“That is so not the same as what he did!” I angrily pointed out.
“No, it’s not,” she said firmly. “But the point is, I didn’t take his concerns seriously and I should have listened to him. I blew him off. Even after it happened, I pretended it wasn’t what it looked like when really; I knew it was exactly what it had looked like. I think your father started feeling insecure, wondering what else I was denying.” She paused and took a breath. “It does not excuse his behavior. But looking back, it does help me to understand it.
“It wasn’t until after the divorce that I realized just how much we’d drifted apart. Just how frequently that kind of thing happened. One of us blowing the other off, not caring about each other’s concerns. I’m only telling you this because I will never approve of what he did. Or be okay with it. But I want you to understand that things aren’t always black and white. People make stupid, stupid mistakes.”
“Soooo…? Now everything is just back to normal with you two?” The disbelief was evident in my tone.
“I wouldn’t go that far. And it’s not like this was an overnight thing. You need to understand that.” She was wringing her hands.
I could tell this wasn’t easy for her. But I needed some answers so I just continued to wait, knowing she would talk when she was ready.
“He called me last summer. I refused to take his calls. He left messages. I didn’t call him back. One day, he just showed up at my office between classes and shut the door behind him. He made me hear him out. He apologized. Profusely. He told me he’d gone to counseling and that it really helped him.” She shrugged. She looked helpless which was so unlike Mom. “The next day, we went out for coffee. We, or at least I, had no intention of getting back together. I had planned on going to coffee with him, just so that I could say that I gave him a chance to make his peace.
“I wasn’t expecting anything to come of it. In fact, it was the furthest thing from my mind. I was doing it more or less to appease him in the hope that he would then back off. But I actually enjoyed that quick little meeting. So we met again a few weeks later. And then again. And it became a little more frequent until…” She made a surprised face, “It just…happened.”