The sincerity of his voice rang in my ears. I’d never expected him to be this understanding.
It made me want to give him a sliver of truth. “Okay, I wasn’t thinking. I panicked. I’ve never stayed with a guy before.”
He let out a breath and pulled me to him. “I have to leave for the team workout. Just promise to tell me next time. There’s no pressure on how fast our relationship progresses, Sam.”
“I promise.”
I brought my arms up to him, and he hugged me closer.
He kissed my lips softly and pulled back slightly. “I’m not trying to smother you, but I also want to know that my girlfriend is okay, regardless of where you are. Are you going to be around this afternoon?”
I bit my lip. I wanted to believe everything he was saying, but my brain was still having problems reconciling with the fact that he had gone from being fine with us being fuck buddies to now wanting something with me.
“I should be. I’m not sure what I’m doing, but give me a call or a text.”
“Okay, go back to sleep. You look exhausted.”
After he broke the hug, I gave him a salute and a kiss on his lips. He left, and then I went to my bed and flopped down. My brain needed to be put on mute, so I could get some sleep.
How do people do this every day?
Close to lunchtime, I woke up and decided to make my way down to the deli for a sandwich. I was hoping to see Edna again. She had put it so simply the other day, but it was not simple. It was complicated.
Am I doing it wrong?
When I walked in, Edna spotted me. “Hey! How’s it going?”
I shook my head. “It’s going.”
“I see. Let’s go grab a table in the back. I’ll be there in a sec.”
I walked over to the same table where I had sat yesterday. What a difference a day makes.
I smiled as Edna set down a plate of cookies and a glass of milk for me. Her apron had been removed.
When I took a bite of a chocolate chip cookie, my mouth salivated, and I died and went to heaven. The way the chocolate was still soft told me these were fresh out of the oven.
“So, what’s troubling you?”
“Honestly, I don’t know why I keep finding myself here, wanting to talk to you.”
She bit into a cookie and laid it back down. “The way I look at it is that it’s better to get it out than to let it fester.”
She has a point. Maybe she can help me put it all into perspective again. “I don’t know what I should do. I feel at odds with myself.”
“Do you feel at odds with yourself or at odds with what you think yourself should be?”
She got right to the subject with no dillydallying. I liked that—no fluff and straight to the heart of the matter. The way she had worded it made it seem like a rhetorical question, and I didn’t have to answer if I didn’t want to.
“I don’t know.” I sat there with the glass of milk in my hand as I tipped it from one side to another, watching the coating of the milk on the inside of the glass vanish. “Something happened to me a long time ago…” I stopped myself from going on. What had happened didn’t matter. I was broken, and now, I needed to figure out how to mend myself the best way possible in order to continue seeing Mark.
“I see.”
I looked up as she studied me. She had soft features, but her eyes were knowing as the powder-blue irises stared me down.
Edna took another bite of the cookie and chewed for a minute. “You’ve put a lot of barriers up to protect yourself, and you’re now finding them starting to come down. Sometimes, the past matters more than we think it does.”
How the hell did that sweet, innocent lady sitting next to me figure it out so quickly?
My mind had been trying to tell me that, but I’d kept shutting it down for self-preservation. “It’s only been twenty-four hours since we made it official, and I’m a complete mess.” I laid my head in my hands and tried to shake out all the confusion.
Edna patted my arm. Her words were soft. “That’s good. It means you’re doing it right.”
I laughed as I looked at her in confusion.
Before I had a chance to respond, she asked, “Do you know how to bake, Sam?”
This was insane in the best possible way. “I do. I bake all the time with my mama when I go home.”
Part of me wanted my mama, but talking to her about relationships was hard because I’d never told her what had happened. She thought I was waiting for Mr. Right to sweep me off my feet, like Daddy had done with her. My parents were old-fashioned, to say the least.
“Well, why don’t you come with me to the kitchen? I always find that baking helps me get my thoughts straight. I’d love some company. It’s an open invitation, if today doesn’t work.”
She started to stand, but I put my hand on her arm. Immediately, a connection formed, like a grandmother-granddaughter feeling. I had lost my grandmother when I was ten, but being with Edna made me feel the way I used to when I was with my grandmother. I was drawn to Edna. She felt safe. I’d never trusted someone this quickly, but I wanted someone to talk to. I needed it. I was desperate. I wanted to talk to someone without having to deal with all the questions.
“Edna, you really think it’s supposed to be this way? Messy?”
I needed her confirmation one last time. I wanted to stay the course with Mark. It felt right.
She patted my shoulder. “I know it is. Stop thinking so much, and listen to that heart you’ve been ignoring for a long time. Now, if you’re free, I’d love some help.”
Relief flooded me as I allowed myself to believe that I wasn’t absolutely horrible at this relationship thing. I wanted to spend some more time with Edna. She calmed and reassured me without needing the details of my sordid past.
I wanted to hug Edna. Her gray hair was still in a bun, and her blue plaid shirt only added to the perfect grandma persona.
“I have some free time now.”
“Great. Let’s get to baking.”
I followed her into the kitchen where I spent the next few hours baking and laughing with her. We talked about what type of flour she had bought and which one of us had the better stirring technique. She was such a funny woman.
I was putting my apron up and heading for the front door as Mark was coming in.
I gave him a shy smile. “You’re always showing up while I’m here. I’m going to start thinking you’re stalking me.”
He didn’t seem surprised to see me. It was almost as if he had known I would be here. I looked back at Edna, but she was busying herself with some mediocre task.
Mark walked up to me and gave me a sweet one-second kiss on the lips. “You have become my favorite obsession. I was going to get us some sandwiches for a picnic this afternoon. I wanted to take you out on an official first date.”
He looked back at Edna and gave her a small nod, and then he refocused his attention on me.
“I think you can bypass the trying-to-swoon-me phase. Last I checked, I was pretty much a sure bet.”
His hand went down my cheek. “I’ll never take you for granted, Sam. I think it’ll be fun. I want to take you to a place I go sometimes.”
“I’m a mess from baking this afternoon. Can we swing by my place, so I can change?” I started smacking away all the caked-on powdered sugar.
He gave me a sweet smile. “Sure. I’ll drop you off, and then I’ll pick up a few things from my place. But you’re beautiful the way you are.”
I gave him a get-real look as Edna walked up. She winked at me as she handed Mark a picnic basket. Like the kind seen in movies, it was an old-fashioned brown wicker basket with a lid that flipped up.
Mark gave Edna a hug. “Thanks, Edna. I appreciate it.”
“Anytime. You take care of her. She’s a keeper.”
I blushed and smiled at the fact that Edna approved of me. From my conversation with Edna, I knew she and Mark were close. Her approval meant a lot to me because she knew I had a pas
t. She gave me another wink and then walked back to the kitchen, disappearing to finish icing the dozens of cookies that had just come out of the oven.
I turned my attention back to Mark. “So, where are you taking me?”
“It’s a surprise.”
We walked out the door, and once in his truck, we made our way to the condo complex.
I’m about to go on my first official date.
As I was getting out of the car, Mark said, “Dress comfortable.”
“Will do.” I gave my salute and went up to my condo.
I needed a shower. Running and stripping at the same time, I practically fell face-first as I tried to shimmy out of my jeans. I showered in record time, quicker than flash lightning. I ran to my closet and started looking at my clothes. I needed something comfortable and not over the top, something simple and cute. In the end, I went with a knee-length cotton skirt and a plaid sleeveless shirt with ruffles going down the front with the buttons. It seemed outdoorsy, but it was still adorable, and it showed off my assets at the same time. I put my hair up into a ponytail with a hair tie, and I did my makeup in more of a natural look. After grabbing my purse, I headed for the door to wait for Mark in the parking lot. When I opened the door, there he was, standing with a bouquet of wildflowers. I loved them, and I gave a shy smile since I hadn’t expected this.
He handed them to me and said, “You’re gorgeous.”
“Thanks.” I brought the flowers to my chest and smelled them as we walked to his vehicle. “Wildflowers are my favorite.”
He squeezed me tighter to him as we made it to the truck. My insides were all jittery. It had been a long time since I received flowers from a guy.
My curiosity of what he had up his sleeve got the best of me. “When do I get to find out where we are going?”
“When we get there.”
Gah! His state-the-obvious routine was utterly annoying at times.
He helped me into the vehicle and gave me a kiss before closing the door and getting in himself.
I decided to try to play dirty. “I should probably tell Allison where I’m going. She’ll be worried.”
“Taken care of. I talked to her this morning.”
My mouth dropped open, and then I closed it. I was at a loss for words.
“Sam, you’re mine this evening.”
That statement alone had desire blossoming inside me.
We drove for an hour, and his calmness made me feel more and more like myself.
“So, Sport, tell me about your family.”
He smiled fondly. “I have a sister who’s three years younger than me. My parents were high school sweethearts. My dad was actually drafted to go pro-football, but he had an unexpected knee injury. I think that’s where I get my love for the game. I’ve been throwing a ball since I was a toddler.”
“Do they come here to visit you often from Colorado?”
“Yes, some. Mostly during the season to attend the games. We’re a close-knit, all-in-each-other’s-business kind of family. They’ll be excited to meet you.”
I wasn’t ready to delve too deeply into thinking about meeting his parents. I had never met someone’s parents as a girlfriend. The thought terrified me, so I buried it for the time being.
As Edna had said, One day at a time.
Mark interrupted my thoughts, changing the subject, which I was thankful for. “So, how did you and Allison meet?”
“Our parents were friends, so it was pretty much a requirement. Good thing we actually liked each other. We got into a lot of mischief together. She actually taught me a thing or two.”
Mark gave me a surprised look. It was funny how everyone pictured Allison as the sweet little girl and could never imagine her instigating most of the things we had gotten in trouble for.
“Yes, Allison has a mischievous side.”
He looked at me endearingly. “I’d say you were right there with her.”
“Damn straight I was.”
We drove up a mountain and then pulled off the road. It was bumpy as we traversed the rougher terrain. There wasn’t much room between the truck and the brush. The foliage was lush green, and it felt like we were entering another world. The road ended, and a small path was in front of us. We got out of the vehicle, and Mark grabbed the picnic basket and quilt.
Reaching for the quilt, I said, “I can carry that.”
He handed it over and pointed to the little path I had noticed earlier. “This way. I want you to see the sunset. I like to come up here. It reminds me of being home in Colorado.”
The path got thicker and thicker with underbrush, and it felt as if we were passing through another dimension. Our pace was slow as Mark moved branches out of the way for me to pass by, unscathed. The forest smelled of earth and life, causing me to take cleansing deep breaths. I loved clean air.
A few minutes later, we walked into an opening, and we were standing on a ledge, looking over the entire city. Birds chirped in the distance while leaves rustled in the wind. It was a stunning sight with everything being a radiant green at the beginning of summer. Mark grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers.
I whispered, “Thank you.”
Mark squeezed my hand. “I’m glad I was able to share this with you. I’ve imagined this moment.”
I wasn’t sure what to say, so I squeezed his hand back. This is what a perfect moment feels like.
He set the picnic basket down and then turned me to him. He bent down and gave me a kiss as the sun lowered, casting bright orange rays all around us. When he pulled away, we dopily stared at each other.
No, I was wrong. This is what perfection feels like.
He spread out the quilt as the sun continued to set. The magnificent hues of oranges and purples were electrifying. We sat and ate until I couldn’t take another bite. This morning, Allison had mentioned talking to Mark, and I hadn’t paid much attention to it. I now knew why they had spoken. She must have given a list of all my favorite foods because he’d had all of them in that basket—chicken salad sandwiches, deviled eggs, and chocolate cake.
It was nearly dusk as Mark began putting all the remnants of food back into the basket. While his back was turned, I unbuttoned my shirt and left it open as I slid off my shoes. I was not getting totally naked without a partner in crime. If we were to get caught, we would get caught together. I unsnapped the front clasp of my bra and leaned back on my elbows. He was turning to grab the last container when his eyes caught a glimpse of me, and he froze.
“See something you like, Sport?”
“You’re a dream come true, Sam.”
I stood up and walked over to him in his seated position. As I knelt before him, his right finger lightly grazed my nipple. From that small touch, my desire ratcheted up tenfold. I unzipped him, and I was about to free him when he grabbed my hand, halting my movement.
“Shit, Sam. The condoms are in the truck.”
I looked back for my purse and remembered leaving it in the truck. Shit. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. “I’m clean and on birth control. We can go back to the truck, or we can stop using condoms. It’s up to you.” I pulled away for a second. I didn’t want his decision to be made because of lust.
“I’m clean, too, I swear it. As long as you are absolutely sure with this, I would love nothing more than to have no barriers between us. I’ve already felt you, and it was the most incredible feeling I’ve ever had.”
I leaned back in and finished freeing him. When I unsnapped my panties, a groan came from Mark.
“I fucking love those panties.”
He was driving me insane with his barely there touches on my breasts. I crawled up onto his lap, straddled him, and then positioned his erection to where it almost breached my entrance. Repeating this little movement, I took him in a little more each time. I could tell I was driving him mad as his touches began to turn into full-out groping. I reveled in the sensation and closed my eyes as I moaned. The moment my eyes closed, he pushed into me all t
he way.
That caused me to open my eyes. “Yes, please, Mark. Take me…take me hard. I need it rough.”
He stood up, still fully inside me, and he brought my back to the nearest tree. The bark scraping against me created another sensation to my already sensitized skin. He began pounding into me, and I took it.
Love it.
Need it.
Want it.
“Yes, Mark. Fuck me to oblivion.”
He started pushing in deeper, causing me to rub against the tree harder. He bent down and bit my nipple hard, making me scream. I was clawing at his back as my body was overloaded with sensation. Fast, rough, and hard made sense to me. He hit my G-spot one last time and had me screaming for more as I flew into my orgasm. He released himself into me as he said my name. In this moment, it felt as if he possessed me.
“I love being inside you like this,” he said.
Having him in me brought us closer together. Even though we had already been together like this, this time felt as if we were sealing a bond between us. We both sagged to the ground while he was still semihard inside me. He kissed me, cherished me, adored me.
“Thank you for bringing me here. It was the perfect first date.” I nipped his lip.
Pulling away, he said, “You’re more than welcome. It was the perfect first date. I swear, I’m going to treat you right, Sam. Will you stay with me tonight?”
Taking a deep breath, I mustered up the courage I knew I had in me somewhere, so I could try to take this step. “I’ll try. I can’t promise I’ll make it through the night, but I’ll try.”
He stroked his finger along my jaw. “Just tell me if you need to go home, and I’ll take you. No questions, no pressure. I’ll take you home immediately. Promise me though that you’ll tell me if you need to leave.”
“I promise.”
Damien, Allison, Mark, and I were leaving for Colorado today, and honestly, I was exhausted from this week. My schedule was beyond screwed-up at this point.
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