This time, however, I was ready for him. As the corn beef sandwich rattled through the mini door flap, I reached out and grabbed his wrinkly old arm.
“AH! Gerrof!” he cried.
But I wouldn't. I had been crying and screaming for my family to let me out for the last two days and this was the last straw. I was due to be at Hailing TODAY, and I was pretty sure they had forgotten.
“What you playing at boy!” he rasped at me.
“You need to let me out! I’m supposed to be going to my new school today! You need to take me!”
“No chance!” he spat. “Your parent’s orders are to keep you up here out of trouble,” he croaked.
“Tell them, I am starting school and I will be out their hair for good.” Butler Kilkenny paused, he knew this might please my parents, he’s such a suck-up.
“Fine,” he said, wrenching his hand back. “I will go and tell them.”
The tiny flap shut and sealed again. I paced the room, listening painfully to the creaking knees. I resisted the urge to tell him to hurry up.
Twenty minutes later, the key turned in the lock and the door opened. Butler Kilkenny stood glum and indicated for me to follow.
“Well?” I said. “What did they say?”
“Not much.”
I had hoped they would be a little melancholy that their youngest son was off to big school, perhaps give me a teary goodbye, like they had all the others. I remember when Ross left six years ago, Mum and Dad held a leaving party and escorted him to the school in the ceremonial carriage.
I grabbed my bag, said a quick goodbye to Sedrick, who I had hidden in a crevice under a wonky stone, and left.
“So, erm, who’s taking me?” I said, suddenly realising I didn't know where Hailing Hall was.
“I take you to the station, you go from there. Map is on the letter.”
I just had chance to grab a cauldron from a pile of rusty ones by Dad’s greenhouse before jumping into the carriage and flying off. Away from the castle, my home for twelve years. There were no teary goodbyes, I didn't see my parents, or anyone else. The house was as quiet as a fart in Farkingham. The carriage soared high above the cavern and over the Forest of Trill, which I used to play in as a child with the leprechauns, until they turned nasty, so I try to stay away if I can. The horses pulling the carriage were Dave and Henry, both looked very indignant as always. They hated flying.
CHAPTER TWO
The Boy from ‘Yorkshire’
Butler Kilkenny flies like a maniac. I tried to tell him it was not Trill station I needed but the next one - Unverdown. That’s what my letter said anyway. I stuck my head out the carriage window and screamed at him to turn around because Unverdown was “back there!” The stupid old deaf git didn't hear, or chose not to.
I didn't have chance to tell him what a dozy pratt he was, because as soon as I got out the carriage outside Trill station to tell him to go back to Unverdown, he flew off! One of the horses nearly took my head off, I think it meant to.
I sighed. Approaching the station I saw my worst nightmare. A small sign stood with bad news.
“Unfortunately due to not enough people wanting to travel today, we are closing the station as we can’t be bothered.”
Not even an apology. Brilliant. Unverdown was only a couple of stops from Trill, but god knows how long it was to walk.
Not wanting to waste any time, I hitched up my bag - cursed how much I’d packed, and began to hike off in the general direction of Unverdown station.
Guess what, as soon I started walking, this huge black cloud came overhead and started pelting it down. It was the kind of rain that hurts when it hits you in the face. I trudged, soaking wet all through, with no coat, along paths that became more like mud baths. I walked through Trill village, with its suburban brick cottages and carriages outside. I thought about stealing one, but the guilt would overcome me. Anyone in my family would do it in a heartbeat. But me, I just couldn't.
At the end of the village was a sign to Unverdown. I continued to trudge along this country lane, using my bag as a kind of crap umbrella. If I could do Magic this rain would not be a problem, but, well I couldn't do much Magic so I had to settle for being wet and miserable. I walked alongside Trill forest and these Gnomes came out to watch me. They all pointed and laughed. I was being mocked by a gang of Gnomes, my life really just continued to plummet.
Eventually I did make it to Unverdown station. Even though I had to ask a suspicious looking old man where it actually was. He pointed to a house. When I looked blankly at him, he told me to open the front door of number 42. Anyway I left him as he continued doing what ever he was doing, staring at the ground looking old and weird, he’d probably used too much Magic, let it rot his brain. That happens apparently.
So I opened the big red door of number 42, an end of terrace and expected to see a cosy living room, yet, it led straight out onto a small platform. Unverdown station at last. I breathed a sigh of relief, I might make it to school yet. Standing in the driving rain for what seemed like days, waiting for the train to arrive, was not ideal. When it finally arrived, I was soaked to the skin, with my bag of clothes now wetter than a drowned fish. But, I finally boarded the packed train. It was full of OAP Witches and Wizards, three warlocks, a sneezing Norse, a grumpy egg-man, and a wolf dressed as a nanny and whatever else (I tried not to make eye contact).
The train was hot, too hot. I steamed up the whole carriage then consulted the letter again to see how many stops it was until we got to Hailing, but the letter didn't say. I scoured the carriage to see if there was a map or station list, but there wasn't. Why on earth not? If I was a train manager, that’s the first thing I would do!
The train shot forwards, the trains in Happendance run themselves, they don’t have drivers. Just Magic I think. I’m not too sure.
The conductor appeared next to me in a flash, he was tall and dressed in a navy moccasin, when he turned I saw it was Mr. Wolfe - the half-man, half wolf, descended from the one and only (the fairytale about the wolf and the pigs, ‘I’ll huff and puff and blow your house down’ type thing.)
He looked awful, mind you it’s not natural for him to be in a suit taking tickets on a hot stuffy train. The pigs in the corner cowered, I reckon they were trying to dodge their fare - they’re notorious for that.
“Have. You. Got. A. Ticket?” he said, in his wolfy voice.
I bought one off him, three gold pieces! It goes up every week! Lucky I had enough gold stashed away in my room.
I asked him when we would be arriving at Hailing Hall.
“About Two. Hours…”
I thanked Mr. Wolfe as genuinely as I could, without repulsing at the slime dripping from his jaw. I did feel sorry for him, I really did.
Two hours wasn't that bad, the letter said as long as we arrived before sundown then we would be there in time for the induction. I couldn't wait, excitement coursed through me, something I hadn't felt for a long time. All I had to do now was stay awake. On this hot… Stuffy…Train…Oh dear…
Zzzzz…
***
“Hello?” said the snake’s voice. “Hello? Hello?” It circled round me, then in a flash jumped and bit me on the arm.
“AHH!” I cried.
My eyes opened. I was on the train. It was just a dream! Thank goodness for that, I hated snakes. But there was someone standing over me and prodding my arm.
“Hello?” he said again.
I rubbed my eyes and looked around. The boy was tall, wire thin and spoke with this funny accent from your world - the north of England somewhere, I saw a programme about it.
“Erm, hi?” I said, noticing I was still on the train and it was nearly dark! “Oh no! I haven't missed Hailing Station have I?”
“What? Naa, that’s why I was waking ya…” he said, his little beady eyes blinking nervously behind thick glass frames. “To ask if you were going to Hailing Hall school too?”
“What?” I was genuinely surprised, somehow
I didn't expect to see anyone else going to Hailing Hall on the train. His beady little eyes looked down at me through the comical little circular spectacles. “Yeah I am, are you?”
“Yeah, the stop’s soon, thought I’d let ya know. Don't wanna sleep through and miss ya’ first day o’ school.”
“No exactly.”
I stood and stretched, the carriage now empty. My pockets felt oddly empty too. With a sinking feeling, I put my hands in them to check, all my gold pieces had gone! I would have cried if that boy resembling a lamppost wasn't standing there. I made sure I had enough gold for the entire year, but now I had nothing. I shouldn't have left it in my pocket, that was so stupid. If I found out who stole my gold I would do something… evil to them.
I sighed. Who was I kidding?
“I’m sorry I woke you,” said the boy, he seemed to think he was the one who’d upset me.
“No it’s not you, it’s me. I’ve lost all my gold.”
“Oh… bummer. Well I haven't got any money here either if it makes ya feel any better… me Dad couldn't get to the exchange place. I am from the normal world, I mean, I am from York, in England, in the other world…” he pointed. “Where are you from?”
I eyed him up, he was a nervous sort of lad who tried not to make eye contact. He had a big leather suitcase with wheels on it. The train jumped and shuddered and I nearly fell and smashed my face into the perplex glass window, but luckily I caught the seat just in time.
“I am from Happendance, the fourth Magical Kingdom… I’m Avis, Avis Blackthorn.” It was safe to tell him my name, he was an Outsider. I stuck my hand out to shake, something my family would never do.
“Robin, Robin Wilson…” he said as we shook.
If I told most people my name, especially the second name, they would either run a mile or tell me what an evil family I had. But this kid Robin was from the Outside and, well, he hadn’t a clue. Which meant, I had probably just made my first friend.
CHAPTER THREE
The Condor Form
I lugged my backpack off the train and set after Robin who pulling his bag along on wheels! I’d never seen anything like it. A large sign in front of us read ‘Hailing Hall that way’ with an arrow. Mind you, as I regained my full consciousness, shaking off the sleepy daze, I saw that there were now lots of other people, our sort of age getting off with suitcases and backpacks. The platform was long, lots of conductors now stood and directed the flow of children up the hill ahead.
Me and Robin followed the chattering crowd. Falling in line behind three older boys who were laughing and joking about, they were slightly older and seemed excited to see each other again. We followed, I huffed and puffed, as the joking threesome walked purposefully out of the station and up a hill. Robin kept trying to make conversation with me and I could tell he was nervous because his tiny eyes were open terribly wide. I couldn't reply to him though because I was so puffed out lugging my stuff up the hill.
Soon enough the hill levelled and we came to these huge iron gates emblazoned with ‘HH’ in fanciful metal writing. Following the current of people, we walked into the grounds of our new school - my new home for the next year. Even though I was knackered, I smiled, I was finally free!
Hailing Hall stood huge before us. It was very wide and perhaps five stories tall with a centre spire shooting so high up into the air it was surrounded by it’s own formation of clouds. It looked like a monumentally huge manor house, with white brick and mullioned windows. It had taste, I’d give it that. Much better than the cold, grey, sprawling mess that we called our home. In the walk up to the school, along this yellow stone path, we got to see the grounds. Living in a dark castle with no life in it whatsoever, the only plants being some dead bracken, I was gobsmacked at the life in this place. I could feel the Magic in it, which made me feel kind of warm and cosy. There were long green hedges encircling the grounds, which bowed us. Large white stone statues and fountains of animals and strange creatures that stood to attention. They looked happy and playful, watching us enter. There were these strange colourful bird things wondering about, with huge purple fans on their back. I thought it was some strange Magical creature I’d never seen before, but when I pointed this out to Robin, he laughed at me.
“No, they’re not Magical. They are just peacocks.”
These peacocks strutted around and made an awful racket, but I liked them. I had never seen anything of the sort before. The sun shone across the garden, and it felt awfully nice. I am not used to sun you see, the only sun I ever get is when I manage to escape the castle and go for a walk in the forest.
Suddenly I heard a NEIGH!
And then Robin shouted. “Duck!”
We both jumped to the floor as a flipping great carriage came zooming in over our heads.
“Cor, that was close!” said Robin, dusting himself off.
“Yeah…” I said, annoyed. My parents would have sent a hundred Spells at that carriage, but me? I just got angry and carried on walking. The carriage landed some way off, where a landing bay filled with hundreds of carriages sat. People were getting out and marching into the school, their luggage floating just behind their head. I wish I could have done that up that poxy hill.
Then I spotted Ross, my brother, the git had just got out of Mum’s special work carriage. It’s completely black, she loves black. Flash git, some girls nearby were crooning over him as he got out.
We waited for ages near the main entrance. This batty looking old woman was lingering near the front — she looked far too mad to be a teacher. A large collection of new years were already there, sitting on their luggage and looking nervous. The sun was going down behind the castle and it started getting nippy. I sat on my bag next to Robin and we watched on in silence, as all the existing years of the school made their way in with curious, devilish glances towards us. Someone nearby kept trumping, I could smell it. To be fair, I was a bit nervous myself but I held in any gaseous give-aways. I wondered how many people here had come from the Outside, where Robin was from. It’s hard to tell though, we all look so similar. Looking around at the crowd of new years, there was around fifty of us, but the next moment their must have been a mega-carridge, because another forty or so nervous looking first years joined us, sitting down, looking like they might pass out and probably trying not to trump.
The old women at the front put down her papers and, with a flick of her hand, the papers, chair and desk she was sat at all disappeared. I heard a few more trumps. She stood quite still for a moment gazing off into the darkening sky. I couldn't make out her exact age, she looked old, but the way she moved indicated someone much younger. Her hair was greying, long and platted at the back, which is strange for an old person.
“Hello and welcome to Hailing Hall. My name is Magisteer Dodaline. Pick up your stuff and follow me…” she called turning with a flash of her tweed brown robes, and marching off towards the entrance.
Me and Robin sort of stayed close, and followed the line inside the school. We went through these giant wooden doors and into this great big entrance hall. It was kind of plain, but charming. Stone floor, velvet drapes and hundreds of sheets of paper, pinned to the wall containing a multitude of information. To the left was a great big carpeted staircase. It was hot as well, with fire in brackets going all the way around illuminating the high, beamed ceilings.
“Woah…” we all chorused as we entered.
“Leave your stuff here, they will be taken to your rooms.” We all dumped our bags and, as I let go, it slid across the floor to the wall, where they all now stood in neat rows. A name tag popped into life above each bag and wrapped it self around the handles. Wow, this was an awesome place.
Magisteer Dodaline turned to us and waited for absolute quiet. “Shortly, you will be taken in to the Chamber. All the remaining years are already awaiting your arrival. As is the Headmaster, who we address as The Lily. You will announce your name and something vaguely interesting about yourself. You will be put into forms and l
ater you will be taken to your allotted rooms. Lessons start tomorrow at 7am, lunch time is at 12pm, lessons finish around 5.30pm and dinner is at 6pm. We have lessons six days a week. Sundays are for homework. Toilets are signposted on the walls. Any questions? Good,” she said curtly. “Follow me.”
I was suddenly really nervous about having to stand up in front of the whole school, I could see everyone trying to think of some interesting fact. What on earth could I say? I belong to an evil family? I have a birth mark on my left buttock? I had no idea. Magisteer Dodaline walked quickly to the corner of the room. We all frowned, confused. Then, the wall suddenly gave way to a large descending staircase. She beckoned us to follow and shortly, we were stood in a long, tall, underground corridor facing another set of big wooden doors. I could hear a lot of people the other side of these doors. And I’m not afraid to say I cowered behind Robin, who seemed to shrink as far as he could into his green pullover, until he resembled a turtle. The cacophony of noise that hit us when the doors opened was deafening. And I felt this hot draft blow across me. As well as the smells of varnished wood, old stone, burning coals and a strange flowery incense. At once, all eyes in the room turned to look at us.
I looked around at this huge room so as to avoid any eye contact. The huge, long room was stone walled and I see why they called it the Chamber - there were no windows and the stone walls curved round into roof, creating a dome effect. It felt like standing in a huge stone fish tank. The noise reverberated deafeningly around the curved walls which were fit to bursting with stuff. Swords, armour shields, flags and quotes, pictures of famous Wizards and a picture of every form. All the way around the outside of the walls were fire brackets, with the fire changing colour. All through the chamber were these dark oak circle tables where the existing years were now stood. There were ten tables in the middle that were empty. Ours I guessed. At least I didn’t have to sit with the existing years, could you imagine if I had to share a table with my brother Ross? I shuddered at the thought.
Avis Blackthorn: Is Not an Evil Wizard! Page 2