by R. J. Sable
Karl took me to the bathroom whilst Ian made breakfast. I sat at the breakfast island and ate my podge while I listened to them talk.
“What was her nightmare about?” Karl whispered to Ian.
“She didn't say,” Ian shook his head. “She just said she missed Dad,” he said as he rubbed his temples.
I glanced over at them. Karl looked sad.
“You talk to Uncle Eric?” Karl asked.
“Yeah,” Ian answered with a sigh. “I start the commissioning course in a few weeks, I won't be back until late December. Aunt Megan could stay here until the end of October and by then Grandma and Granddad will have moved here.”
“Ian, bro, we've talked about this I can handle it-”
Ian made his angry face and Karl stopped talking.
“You need to finish your A-levels. You and Matt can't let the situation get in the way of your futures,” Ian said slowly.
“I know, E. But between us we can handle it. Elise'll help as well,” Karl said.
“That's enough, Karl!” Ian snarled.
I stopped eating my podge and looked up at them.
“Until Matt turns eighteen in March, there needs to be an adult here to help out. That's just the way it is,” Ian said, his voice quieter again.
“You don't have to handle this on your own, you know that don't you?” Karl said gently.
Ian didn't have chance to reply as the others came in. Rick was carrying Jake under his arm.
“Morning,” Ian nodded to them. “There's porridge here, help yourselves.” He motioned to the big bowl on the worktop.
“Jacob, sit down with Jamie. I'll bring you some,” Karl said as he poured himself some more coffee.
Chapter 17
Monday, 8th October 2012
I woke up with a jolt and didn't recognise my surroundings. I sat up, panic setting in. I took a second to gain control over my breathing as I looked around me. Jason was asleep next to me on the large double bed. He lay on his front, wearing just boxers. The blanket was scrunched up by our feet. I looked down at my legs and realised I wasn't wearing my jeans.
“Morning,” Jason grunted as he stretched out and rolled onto his side, propping his head up on his hand.
“What am I doing in your bed?” I said, trying to remember how I'd gotten there.
“You fell asleep watching the movie,” he smiled at me.
“That doesn't really answer my question,” I said, really uncomfortable with my state of semi-undress.
“It was late, I didn't want to wake you and make you walk home,” he explained, his left hand tickling my leg. “I carried you in here and let you sleep.”
“You took my trousers off,” I blushed.
“Yes,” he shrugged. “I thought you'd be more comfortable.”
“But-” I went to protest but he laughed and cut me off.
“It's no different from me seeing you in a swimsuit,” he said simply.
I glanced down at my knickers; I had on a simple pair of white cotton and lace hipster briefs. He was right, I guess, they didn't reveal any more than my swimming costume, but it felt more private anyway. I wasn't sure how I felt about us sleeping in the same bed either. I'd had an amazing night's sleep but something about it felt deviant.
“But you slept here with me,” I protested, trying to get my thoughts in order.
“Well, it is my bed,” he said simply.
“But we slept together,” I cried, my cheeks burning furiously.
“Jamie,” he laughed. “I promise I kept my hands to myself.” He sat up next to me. “For which I should be awarded a medal, I might add.”
I flopped back down onto the bed. Maybe I'm over-reacting. He was just trying to look after me, and I really had slept like a baby.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, hiding my face underneath his pillow and holding it there with both arms.
“Hey, it's okay,” he said softly, trying to pry the cushion from my hands. I held onto it tightly.
“You going to hide under there all day?” He asked, humour in his voice.
I nodded stubbornly.
“Okay,” he chuckled.
I felt him lift my t-shirt up slightly to above my navel. I froze, tensing as I wondered what he was up to. The feel of his lips against my skin made me jump. He kissed my stomach up to where the fabric covered my breasts, then retraced the path he'd made back down, alternating between his lips, tongue and small gentle nips. My breath quickened and became hot beneath the pillow. He continued trailing kisses down to my hip and across, above the fabric of my knickers.
“What are you doing?” I panted, pulling the pillow off my face and casting it aside.
“Saying good morning,” he grinned up at me, resting his cheek on my stomach and looking up at me with those amazing eyes. They were more blue than green this morning.
“Do you mind?” He asked, his eyes searching mine.
I wasn't sure. I'd been enjoying the attention immensely. I was experiencing feelings in my body that were entirely unknown to me and I wasn't really sure how to handle them.
“No, I just...” I trailed off, not really sure what to say.
“I don't want you to be uncomfortable, baby,” he said, shifting onto his elbow and cupping my face with his other hand. “I'm sorry if I made you feel that way,” he frowned.
“I liked it,” I said quietly, my cheeks burning furiously.
“Right there with you,” he grinned, brushing my bottom lip with his thumb. “Jamie?” He said tentatively.
“Jason,” I replied, grinning at him as I ran my fingers through his beautifully dishevelled dirty blond locks.
“I need you to tell me if I do something that you don't want me to,” he said softly.
I nodded at him, admiring the serious expression on his handsome face.
“Promise?” He urged, his hand snaking around my stomach and behind my back.
“I promise,” I nodded.
He grinned at me and lifted me up as he rolled over onto his back. I ended up straddling him sitting on his lower abdomen, his hands on my hips. His thumbs brushed sensually against my hipbones and onto my stomach as they pushed underneath my t-shirt. I felt his eyes travelling over my body and I blushed. He grinned up at me and took my wrist gently in his hand, pulling it towards his face and kissing me gently on my palm. I placed my hands on his stomach when he released them. I traced his top two abs with my finger, and then moved up along his ribcage to draw circles in the small spattering of golden brown chest hair.
I moved my fingers along the edge of his tattoo, admiring it in more detail now. It was an intricately designed pattern, which started on the left side of his neck, trailed down over his shoulder and over his heart. It appeared to continue over his shoulder and down his back. It was a combination of Maori tribal symbols, which seemed to spread away from the image on his chest. I traced around the circle on his pectoral muscle. It contained a black illustration of an anatomically correct heart.
“When did you get this done?” I asked, looking up at him. His eyes were closed, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.
“A month after I came to Leeds,” he shrugged. “You like tattoos?”
“I'm neutral,” I shrugged. “Some of my brothers have them. I don't think I'd ever get one myself though.”
“Good, I hate tattoos on women,” he said frowning. “Besides, it would hide your beautiful skin away,” he said, trailing his forefinger from one hipbone to the other. I blushed.
“How come you got it done?” I asked, hoping to distract his attentions away from me.
He merely shrugged and pulled my wrists towards him so that my stomach was flat against his chest, my face inches above his. I rested my elbows on either side of his head as his arms encircled me and pressed me closer to him. I tilted my head down towards him and kissed him gently on the lips. He deepened the kiss and I was lost in the moment once more, enjoying every sensation, feeling every movement he made with a startling intensity.
“This is by far my favourite way to wake up,” he grinned against my lips.
I didn’t get a chance to ponder this because I became very aware of the feeling of something very solid between my legs as he continued his kisses, trailing along my collarbone and down across my chest. An involuntary groan escaped my lips as his hands travelled up the back of my top. His fingers found my bra strap and had unclasped it before I could fully register it. He's done that before. I pushed the unwelcome thought out of my mind. I do not want to go there.
I needed to focus on what Jason was doing. He slipped my bra straps down my arms and pulled it off through the bottom of my t-shirt. I was breathing hard, enjoying the kisses Jason continued to press against my chest. He dropped my bra onto the floor beside the bed and returned his hands to my hips.
He looked up at me and tilted his head back to kiss me. I leant in to it as I felt his hands slowly pushing my t-shirt over my stomach. His thumbs grazed the undersides of my breasts and he groaned appreciatively against my mouth as he slowly caressed the sensitive skin. I felt his fingers grab hold of the material of my t-shirt and start to pull upwards.
I panicked and pulled away from his embrace, my hands grabbing for his in an effort to stop him.
“Jason, please, don't,” I begged, still panting heavily.
He looked confused for a second. He blinked once and let go of my t-shirt. I rushed to smooth the fabric back down over my stomach. I blushed the deepest shade of red so far. I hurried to clamber off of him and buried my face in my hands, crossing my legs beneath me.
“I'm sorry,” I sobbed.
“Hey, it's okay,” he soothed. He sat behind me, his legs on either side of mine, his arms around me. “It's my fault, I'm sorry. I got carried away.”
“I'm so sorry,” I sobbed again, tears spilling down my cheeks.
“I'm glad you stopped me, Jamie,” he said earnestly as he pressed a kiss against the back of my head.
“It's just, I haven't... and you... I never...” I stammered, unable to find the right words.
“Jamie,” he paused, brushing my hair back and pulling it all to one side. “You have had... boyfriends before right?”
I shook my head and pushed my hands against my face, desperate to hide away.
“Never?”
I shook my head again and sobbed harder.
“Oh, Jamie, I'm so sorry. I had no idea,” he sounded horrified, which made me cry harder. He climbed off the bed and I felt him kneel in front of me. He ran his hands up my arms and rested them on mine.
“Jamie, look at me, please,” he said as he pulled gently on my hands. I shook my head, not wanting him to see me cry.
“I'm so sorry,” he sighed, his hands still on mine. “You're so beautiful and such fun to be around, I just assumed... and that was wrong of me. I was way out of line. Please forgive me?”
I tried to get a hold on my emotions and forced myself to stop crying. I pulled my hands away slowly, wiping away the tears as I did so. I couldn't bring myself to look at him though. I focussed on my hands in my lap.
“I'm so sorry, please don't hate me,” I pleaded.
“Hey,” he said softly, tilting my chin up with his thumb and forefinger so my eyes met his. “I could never hate you, and you have nothing to be sorry about.”
“But I'm... I've never...” I stuttered.
“Jamie, baby, being a virgin is nothing to be embarrassed about.”
I blushed furiously as he so easily put my inexperience into words.
“If anything, it's a good thing.”
I blinked up at him, confused. He smiled at the expression on my face.
“It means I'll never have to think about another man's hands on you. It means that everything we do together, you're experiencing for the first time. With me,” he said softly as he stroked my cheek. “If you want to do those things with me, I mean,” he added quickly. I think he even blushed a little.
“I'm sorry, I should have said something before... you know...” I pointed to my bra on the floor. “But, I was kind of enjoying myself,” I blushed and hid my face behind my hands once more.
Jason chuckled as he pulled my hands away from my face and kissed each of my palms.
“I was enjoying myself too,” he grinned. “But I'm still glad you stopped me. I want you to be able to trust me. We need to take things at a pace that's comfortable for you.”
I smiled at him, amazed at the honesty behind his words and the strength of feeling he was conveying to me.
“As you now know, it's almost impossible for me to keep my hands off you, so you need to tell me when I'm going too fast.” He paused and studied my eyes intensely as though waiting for me to say something. When I said nothing, he continued. “If I'm going to be with you when you experience new things, I want to give you the best possible experiences, and that means we need to trust each other implicitly, okay?”
I nodded at him and he pulled me into a hug.
“It's already eight,” he said glancing at his watch. “Wanna come have some breakfast?”
“Yes please,” I smiled at him.
He grabbed a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt from his drawers and chucked them at me playfully.
“You can wear these,” he grinned. “I'll be in the kitchen.”
I waited until he shut the door behind him and started getting changed, grabbing my bra off the floor and putting it back on. I took the alone time to think through everything that had just happened.
My skin was still tingling from the feel of his hands on me. His touch had made me feel things I'd never experienced, even in my most intimate dreams. He was willing to make concessions for my inexperience. He'd even said he thought it was a good thing. I smiled as I thought about the tender kisses he'd placed upon my hands and hugged myself as I slipped his t-shirt over my head and smelt his scent on my skin. His t-shirt was huge on me so I knotted it at the side and rolled the sleeves up.
“I like my clothes on you,” Jason grinned as I walked into the kitchen.
“Morning, Jamie,” Josh said from the kitchen table. “You two sleep alright?” He said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Jason slapped him playfully on the back of the head and he laughed. We ate breakfast together and I listened to Jason and Josh talk about travel arrangements for the trip to Derby on Saturday.
Chapter 18
Tuesday, 9th October 2012
I sighed and rolled over, grabbing my phone to check the time. It was after two in the morning and I still couldn't sleep. I was exhausted but no matter what I tried, sleep eluded me. I was wearing Jason's t-shirt, his scent was on it and I missed him. How ridiculous is that? I'd spent the whole of last night and this morning with him. We'd eaten lunch together and I was missing him. I felt my phone vibrate in my hand and frowned. It was a bit late to be getting messages.
Hey baby, sorry if this
wakes you. My bed's not
the same without you.
Miss you. Jason xxx
I smiled to myself, at least it's not just me. I hit reply and text him back.
Hey Jason. I can't
sleep either. I miss you
too. xxx JL
The phone vibrated almost immediately after I hit send.
Don't fall asleep.
I'm coming over right
now unless you stop me ;p xxx
I grinned, there was no way I was going to stop him. I wanted nothing more than to be with him right now. He text me no more than ten minutes later to come let him in through the building doors. I rushed downstairs in my short shorts and his t-shirt and let him in.
“I definitely like my clothes on you,” he grinned, pulling me into a hug as I let him through the door.
“I'm glad you're here,” I grinned at him as he picked me up, his hands gripping my backside firmly. I wrapped my legs around his back as he pressed me gently into the wall and kissed me. His kiss was rougher, more carnal than anything I'd experienced before and I felt a tightening
deep inside my stomach as his tongue forced it's way through my readily parted lips.
I gasped for my breath as he set me down on the floor. He grinned down at me wickedly and took my hand, guiding me up the stairs to my flat. We locked my bedroom door behind us and he dumped his rucksack on the floor.
“I couldn't sleep,” he yawned as he sat down on my bed and pulled his jumper and t-shirt over his head, giving me a fantastic view of his toned body. “My bed smelt like you.”
“Me neither,” I pouted. “You've ruined sleep for me,” I teased.
“Sorry,” he said with a grin on his face as he pulled me into his lap. “Can I stay here tonight?” He asked, pouting adorably.
“Yes, please,” I giggled at him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Awesome,” he beamed as he lifted me up so that he could stand and unbutton his jeans.
“Hey, I'm sorry we didn't get chance to talk much at training this afternoon,” he apologized. “Lottie, wanted to go over the training schedule for the next few weeks.” He rolled his eyes.
“She didn't seem too happy about you kissing me when you arrived,” I said, frowning.
“I noticed,” he grinned. “I don't care what anyone else thinks. Sorry if I embarrassed you, though.”
“She tried to warn me away from you last week,” I said, studying his face to gauge his reaction.
He frowned slightly as he pulled his socks off. “Did she now?” He sounded vaguely amused and a little pissed off.
I nodded, stepping closer to him. He was wearing just his boxers now. I traced their band with my finger, his happy trail tickling my knuckles as I brushed over it.
“Well, she's probably just jealous,” he shrugged, pulling me close to him and kissing the top of my head. “Are you tired?”
I yawned in response and rested my cheek against his chest.
“I'll take that as a yes,” he grinned.
He flicked the light switch off and pulled me into bed with him so that my back was against his front and we both lay on our sides in my tiny single bed. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the back of my head. I quickly drifted off into another night of flawless, uninterrupted sleep.