by Penny Jordan
‘We don’t have time to talk right now,’ Edie told her, ‘but later perhaps—I hope you won’t think I’m being too intrusive if I say that I’d like to get to know you a little better.’
‘Of course not,’ Amber told her. ‘After all, Paul is your grandson…’
‘Yes.’ Edie fingered the beautifully quilted bedspread and added hesitantly, ‘Has Joel told you much about Teri?’
‘Not a great deal,’ Amber replied truthfully. ‘I don’t think he cares to talk about it very much.’
‘No, no one likes reliving unpleasant memories. I never wanted them to marry,’ Edie confessed. ‘But Teri always was headstrong, wilful.’ She smiled wryly. ‘I suppose that sounds a dreadful thing for a mother to say about her own daughter, but we realised before she was out of her teens that Teri would never be the daughter we’d dreamed of having. The things she wanted from life were poles apart from what we wanted for her. Lee was very bitter about her for many years. He hoped marriage to Joel would change her, and for a while I must admit I thought it had, especially when Paul was born, but then she came back here for a holiday, and we soon realised that nothing had changed. She almost seemed to hate Paul. In the end I had to telephone Joel behind her back and beg him to come and take her home. And the dreadful thing is I don’t think he would have married her if he’d known what she was really like—but then that was always one of her talents; being able to deceive people as to her true nature.
‘After their divorce Joel told me that she had insisted to him that we hadn’t wanted her and that she’d been forced to leave home when she was sixteen. She did leave home at sixteen, but not because we wanted her to; quite the contrary. What she did was to run away with some man she’d picked up in a bar.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Amber said softly, horrified by Edie’s revelations.
‘So am I,’ the other woman said simply. ‘I can’t tell you how many nights’ sleep I’ve lost asking myself where I went wrong, why she turned out the way she did, but I couldn’t find the answer. It seemed somehow that you only had to tell her she couldn’t do something, or have something, for her to go all out in the opposite direction. I just hope this marriage to Hal works out. He’s a nice enough guy, but he’s not Joel, and it seems to me that Teri needs a firm hand to guide her. Still, at least we’ve got Paul, and he’s as different from Teri as chalk from cheese. I’m glad Joel’s found you, Amber,’ she added as she got up and walked to the door. ‘He needs the gentle touch of a woman of compassion to help heal the wounds inflicted by Teri, and I can tell how much you love him.’
‘Yes, I do,’ Amber admitted, wishing she could confide in this understanding woman, and beg her advice. But of course she simply couldn’t burden Edie Haines with any more problems, she already seemed to have more than enough burdens to carry.
‘Oh, by the way,’ Edie added, frowning a little, ‘some friends of ours who live in Bel Air have asked us to a party they’re giving, and you’re included in the invitation. I thought of refusing—Julie, the wife, was a close friend of Teri’s; they’re very much two of a kind, and I suspect she’ll try and give you a hard time. As I said, I was going to refuse the invitation, and then I realised that Julie, being Julie, would probably take that as a sign that Joel was pining away over Teri or something equally ridiculous, so I accepted. I hope I’ve done the right thing?’
‘Definitely,’ Amber replied with a smiling confidence she was far from feeling. She cringed inwardly at the thought of facing an intensely curious and probably hostile barrage of eyes, all assessing her and comparing her to Teri. ‘Do you… do you have a photograph of Teri anywhere?’ she asked hesitantly. ‘I…’
‘I do,’ Edie told her. ‘It was taken just after Paul was born. It’s tucked away somewhere in one of the closets. Just wait there and I’ll fetch it for you.’
Joel and Paul were still downstairs with Paul’s grandfather. Benita, the Haines’ Mexican maid, had made some special biscuits for Paul and the three men had gone into the kitchen to sample them.
‘Here it is,’ Edie announced, handing a large framed photograph to Amber.
She could hardly bring herself to look at it, knowing instinctively how beautiful Teri would be, and the reality was no disappointment. Her stomach plunged in defeated admission that Teri’s flawless face, framed by a cloud of night-dark hair, was one of the most beautiful she had ever seen, even if its expression was slightly marred by the petulant droop of the full lips and the slight hardness mirrored in the dark eyes.
‘She’s very lovely.’
‘Physically, yes,’ Edie Haines agreed on a sigh. ‘But real beauty is more than just skin-deep, Amber; real beauty is the look in your eyes when they’re on Joel. A truly beautiful woman, in my opinion, is beautiful in spirit as well as body.’
‘As I don’t qualify for the latter I’ll just have to hope I do for the former,’ Amber said lightly, her eyes going automatically to her leg.
‘Forgive me, my dear, I can see it distresses you, but what happened?’ Edie Haines asked her, and because she felt curiously drawn to the older woman, Amber explained.
‘And the only hope of full recovery lies in another operation?’
‘Yes,’ Amber agreed, ‘and even then there’s no guarantee of success. There’s only one hospital that I know of that specialises in this treatment, and that’s in a place called Fairlea.’
‘Fairlea?—but that’s only twenty miles away from here!’ Edie exclaimed. ‘There’s a very large hospital there that does specialise in rare complaints; the hospital was endowed by a millionaire whom they managed to cure of a bone marrow deficiency, and he endowed the hospital very generously in gratitude. You must get Joel to make you an appointment.’
Amber’s eyes widened in dismay. Joel knew nothing about her hopes and plans with regard to her operation; he still thought she wanted his money so that she could be secure, and she had no wish for him to know the truth, dreading his pity if he ever found out.
‘Oh no,’ she said quickly. ‘I… he isn’t sure about me having the operation,’ she added in a low voice, hating herself for lying. ‘He…’
‘No need to explain to me, my dear,’ Edie Haines replied, patting her hand understandingly, ‘Of course Joel doesn’t want you to go through any more pain. I know what men are like—why, I remember when I had Teri, Lee said he’d never forgive himself for what I’d had to endure, but women can endure; that’s our greatest strength. I badly wanted more children, but somehow it just wasn’t meant to be. I’ve often wondered if it would have helped Teri if she hadn’t been an “only”. That’s what Paul needs too,’ she added pointedly, ‘a brother or sister…’
‘You know that Teri wants to take him away from J… from us?’ Amber amended.
‘Yes.’ Edie Haines frowned. ‘Her father and I have both begged her to drop the idea. Paul is terrified of her, you know. She used to have these terrible fits of rage—frightening enough for another adult because she’d literally scream herself blue in the face, but terrifying for a small child—and somehow his fear only increased her fury. One of my greatest dreads was that somehow she might injure him when she was in a temper. I can’t understand why she claims she wants him, unless it’s to hurt Joel. Although… Hal’s parents are very old-fashioned. They were horrified when Hal told them he was marrying her, I do know that. It must be the first time he’s ever gone against their wishes. They also have a very strict sense of family, so perhaps Teri hopes to win them round by playing the doting mother role. They must think it odd that Joel has custody, and for all that Hal is a very wealthy young man, it’s his father who controls the family fortune. You see how well I know my daughter?’ she sighed. ‘I know she can only have married Hal for his wealth—for all her beauty she’s a very cold woman, Amber. I’ll never forget when she came back after running away that first time, I tried to talk to her, to explain that sex wasn’t something you exchanged for material benefits; it was a rare and beautiful experience, to be shared only wi
th someone you loved. Teri turned to me, her face a blank mask. She hadn’t the faintest idea what I was talking about. “Sex is a weapon,” she told me, “and the most powerful one a woman has, and I’m sure as hell going to make sure I use it to full advantage—which means getting me whatever I want."’
Amber felt sickened and sorry; sickened by the emotional desert of the woman Joel had married; and saddened for her mother.
* * *
It was amazing how readily she had been accepted into the Haines’ family circle, Amber reflected a few days later, lying by the pool while Joel and Paul swam in its azure depths. She felt as though she had known them for years. Several of their neighbours had called by and been introduced, and everywhere she had met with such friendly acceptance that for the first time she really felt she was Joel’s wife—a dangerous mistake, as she had realised this morning. She had been in the shower when he came in, and had left her robe in the bedroom. She could hear him moving about in the bedroom, but had felt no hesitation about stepping out of the bathroom wearing only a brief towel, so entirely at home had she become in the role of his wife.
He had raised his eyebrows when he saw her attire, his mouth curling downwards slightly as he looked at her, his, ‘What are trying to do to me, Amber—force me to break my promise yet again?’ having the effect of making her withdraw hurriedly to the bathroom, where she remained until he had gone. And yet the terrible thing had been that for one wild moment she had wanted him to break his promise, and not merely passively wanted, but actively, physically, yearned to encourage him.
Even now she could barely look at the lean length of his body as he pulled himself out of the water; without molten heat running through her veins. His brief white trunks only emphasised the physical perfection of his body, water running from the tanned, broad shoulders which tapered to a lean waist and flat stomach. Amber’s eyes shifted and then returned to cling hungrily to his thighs, muscled and sprinkled with dark hairs, her stomach heaving as Joel left Paul to his rubber ring and loped across the patio to drape a wet arm across her shoulders and kiss her surprised mouth with a firm unhurriedness which set her blood pounding and her senses swimming.
It was only as he released her that Amber realised their embrace had been witnessed by the trio standing at the other side of the pool. Who was the woman with Edie and Lee? she wondered. She was certainly very attractive, in a brittle polished way.
‘Really, darling,’ she murmured throatily to Joel as she picked her way daintily across the patio on impossibly high-heeled white sandals. ‘Aren’t you a little bit past all that? Or was that hungry look your little wife was giving you the reason?’
‘Was she?’ Joel queried easily, shielding Amber with his body as he stepped forward with easy grace, while she cringed to think how obvious her desire had been, her muscles tensing in protest at the blonde woman’s words.
‘Oh, come on, darling,’ the other woman drawled. ‘You know all there is to know about women, don’t pretend to me you don’t know when one wants you!’ She had tucked her hand through his arm, her polished fingernails resting lightly on the dampness of his chest, her lips pouted as she glanced up at him invitingly.
Sickness washed over Amber on a wave. Who was this woman?
‘I’m not a toy on sale in a shop window, Julie,’ Joel remarked coolly, removing her hand, and reaching down for Amber, pulling her up from her chair, his arm going round her waist to pull her against him. ‘Amber, meet Julie Arnold. Julie, meet my wife.’
‘Darling,’ Julie complained with a fresh pout, and a dismissing look at Amber, ‘how on earth can you expect me to think of anyone apart from Teri as your wife?’
‘For someone who’s on her third husband I would have thought it quite easy,’ Joel retorted, undisturbed by her acid comments. ‘How about a run down to the coast?’ he suggested to Amber. ‘We don’t want to intrude on Julie’s visit.’
This time her ‘darling…’ was a protesting wail. ‘It’s you I’ve come to see, to make sure you’re coming to my party at the weekend. Teri and Hal will be there,’ she added maliciously, turning to Amber to say, ‘Teri has bought the most divine dress. It’s our first wedding anniversary and we’re throwing a huge party, nearly all of Bel Air will be there, but as I said to Teri when I rang her, it just wouldn’t be complete without her.’ She frowned suddenly, affecting a concern Amber did not for one moment believe she felt as she added, ‘Oh dear, of course, you probably don’t have anything to wear, do you? I suppose all you brought with you was casual things. We always laugh over here at the British idea of casual clothes.’ As she spoke she glanced from Amber’s chain-store bikini to her own elegant silk dress, at once formal and yet casual.
‘I’m sure I’ll be able to find something,’ Amber said sweetly, moving a little closer to Joel. ‘Joel is ridiculously generous, aren’t you, darling, so really I don’t need an excuse to buy a new dress.’
Julie flushed slightly as Amber’s barb found its mark. It was obvious that the other woman hadn’t expected her to retaliate. However, seconds later Amber almost wished she hadn’t bothered, as another malice-coated comment was slipped sweetly from the expertly painted lips of the other woman.
‘Well, you’ll just have to resign yourself to losing your husband when we dance,’ she said unkindly. ‘Joel is an expert, and I for one intend to make sure he reserves at least three numbers for me. It must be quite dreadful for you having to sit on the sidelines, dancing is such a very physically romantic pastime too.’
‘As Amber well knows,’ Joel cut in, giving Amber a look that made her toes curl up in sheer pleasure, and his soft ‘don’t you, darling?’ brought an angry glitter to Julie’s hard blue eyes.
‘Dreadful woman!’ Lee Haines complained when she had gone. ‘Always out to make trouble. Don’t you pay any mind to her, honey,’ he instructed Amber. ‘And I’m sure Joel will agree with me that there’s no necessity for you to go to the party if you’d rather not.’
‘No necessity at all,’ Joel agreed with an abruptness that almost physically hurt after his earlier tenderness.
Was he ashamed of her? Amber wondered. Was he worried about the comparisons which would be drawn; by people’s amusement when they discovered just how far removed she was from the perfection that was Teri’s?
‘I think we should go to this party,’ she told him later when they were alone, ‘if only to convince Teri that you aren’t going to give up Paul. When she sees us together it might make her think twice.’
‘I hope you’re right,’ Joel said bitterly, ‘otherwise this whole fiasco has been for nothing.’
His words hurt and went on hurting, and nothing she could do could lessen the pain.
CHAPTER EIGHT
IT was Edie who suggested that Amber should pay a visit to the hospital in Fairlea. It could be accomplished quite discreetly, she told Amber. She would suggest to Joel that Paul ought to have a check-up, and she would offer to take him. Amber could accompany them and could talk to the doctors at the same time.
It was a tempting prospect; all the more so because Julie’s bitchiness had reawakened all Amber’s dissatisfaction with her leg.
‘What have you got to lose?’ Edie urged her. ‘If you don’t you’ll probably always regret it. Joel loves you as you are, my dear, in his eyes your disability ceases to exist, but what about in your own?’
With the fifty per cent of her brain that wasn’t yielding weakly to temptation Amber was marvelling that she should feel any doubts. Hadn’t she spent six months of her life dreaming, yearning for this moment when she would be able to approach the great hospital which could restore her leg to full normality—and yet here she was actually wavering and uncertain. Her leg, once the focus of all her hopes and ambitions, had faded into insignificance when compared with her love for Joel, and her adult realisation that love was something that sprang from the heart and soul and had nothing to do with physical perfection or imperfection.
In the end, however, she ag
reed; not because she thought doing so would alter in the slightest the way Joel felt about her, but because she had always known that there was a chance that nothing could be done for her and now she felt she must face up to the doctors’ pronouncements, whatever they might be.
Joel made no comment when he was informed of their plans. Paul’s English doctors were quite happy with his progress, he told Edie, but if it would make her happier to have him checked over by her own he certainly had no objection.
It was arranged that he and Lee would spend the day fishing, and when they disappeared immediately after breakfast in a car packed with fishing tackle Amber felt an absurd desire to run after the car and beg Joel to come back.
It was almost an hour later before they left, Amber and Edie sitting in the front of the latter’s car, with Paul comfortably ensconced in the back.
The little boy’s skin, like Amber’s was beginning to darken slightly, attaining an attractive tan. He was dressed in a tee-shirt and shorts which Edie had bought for him. His limp was now barely noticeable; the injured leg strengthening as he grew, and he was so heartrendingly like his father that Amber ached to take him in her arms.
She herself looked fresh and attractive in the coordinating jeans and tee-shirt she had bought for her holiday with Rob. The jeans disguised the thinness of her injured leg, and that she had started to regain the weight she had lost during her months in hospital was evident by the way the thin tee-shirt clung to the curves of her breasts. She had tied back her heavy swathe of hair with a ribbon, and her skin, glowing with health and vitality, was completely free of make-up.
‘How about paying a visit to my local beauty parlour with me before the party?’ Edie suggested as she manoeuvred the car on to the freeway. ‘Nothing too fancy—life is very casual out here, but in such a way that you know hundreds of dollars have been spent in achieving it, if you know what I mean?’