by Nora Roberts
“They were on sale.”
“One pair was on sale.”
“You saved money on the one, so it’s not like buying them.”
“It’s not?”
“No,” Lucy said in reasonable tones. “It’s like saving on them. So look at it that way: you only bought two pairs. And one of them’s for the wedding. Those you were obligated to buy. Really, you only bought one pair.”
“Your logic is wise. And confusing.”
In the backseat Lil listened to the old friends enjoy each other’s company, and smiled.
She hadn’t taken enough time for this, she admitted. Time to just sit and listen to her mother talk, to be with her, with Lucy. She had let that bastard steal that from her too, those little moments of pleasure.
That would stop.
“Let’s have a spa day.”
Jenna flicked a glance in the rearview. “A what?”
“A spa day. I haven’t had a facial or a manicure since before I left for South America. Let’s figure out when we can all take a day off and book a bunch of decadent treatments at the day spa.”
“Lucy, there’s someone in the backseat pretending to be Lil.”
Lil leaned up, poked her mother’s shoulder. “I’m going to have Mary call and book us as soon as I check my schedule and Tansy’s, so you’d better let her know if you’ve got any day next week that doesn’t work. Otherwise, too bad for you.”
“Somehow I believe I can clear my schedule. How about you, Lucy.”
“I may have to shuffle a few things, but I think I can clear the decks. Won’t that be fun.” She shifted to smile back at Lil.
“Yes. It’ll be fun.” And long overdue.
Lil got out when they reached Lucy’s to stretch her legs and switch to the front seat. “Let me help you in with those.”
“I bought them, I can carry them,” Lucy replied.
At the back of the SUV, the three of them pawed through bags.
“That’s mine,” Lucy said. “That one’s your mother’s. This one, yes, that’s mine. That one there. And, oh, my, I did go a little overboard.”
With a laugh, Lucy kissed Jenna on the cheek. “I don’t know the last time I had so much fun. ’Night, sweetheart,” she said with a kiss for Lil. “I’m going to listen to Sam ask me why I needed another pair of shoes when I’ve only got two feet, then I’m putting these old bones in the tub.”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Jenna called out, and waited until Lucy was in the house before heading down the farm road.
“What about you? Are you looking to soak or eat?”
“I’m thinking shoes off, feet up, and a big fat sandwich.”
“You had a good day, and you’re going to be a beautiful maid of honor.”
“It’s a great dress.” Sighing, Lil let her head tip back. “I haven’t done a shopping marathon like that in years. Literally years.”
“I know it wasn’t easy for you to take a full day away like this. And now you’re planning a spa day. You’re a good friend.”
“She’d do the same for me. Plus, great dress, fabulous shoes, and assorted other items I really had no need for.”
“It’s more fun when you don’t need them.”
“Too true.” Lil toyed with the new earrings she’d bought, and—like her mother and the shoes—had worn out of the store. “Why is that?”
“Buying what you need’s the result of hard work. Buying what you don’t need’s the reward for hard work. You work hard, honey. I’m glad you took the time away. It was nice, wasn’t it, seeing how happy and excited Sueanne is? She can’t say enough about Farley.”
“It makes you proud.”
“It really does. It’s so satisfying when other people tell you what a good person your child is. I feel so good about it, about knowing how welcome he’s going to be in that family. You’ll be happy, too, having her living so close.”
“You want to bet Dad and Farley ditched the chess game and spent all evening playing with plans for the house?”
“No question. They’ll probably be sorry to see me home.”
When they got to the gate, Jenna stopped so Lil could swipe her card, and key in her code.
“I can’t tell you how much better I feel knowing you’ve got this security in. Almost as good as I feel knowing you’re not going home to an empty house.”
“It’s an odd situation, having Coop here. I want him here, but at the same time I’m trying not to get used to having him here.”
“You’re gun-shy.”
“I really am. Part of me feels that I might be punishing him for something he did, or didn’t do, said or didn’t say, when I was twenty. I don’t want to do that. Another part of me wonders if we’re together here because of the situation, because I’m in trouble and he needs to help.”
“Do you doubt he loves you?”
“No. No, I don’t.”
“But?”
“But if I don’t hold something back, and he leaves again, I don’t know if I’d get through it.”
“I can’t tell you what to do. Well, I could, but I won’t. I’ll just say nothing in this world comes with a guarantee. With people, with love, a promise has to be enough. When it’s enough for you, you’ll let go.”
“It’s hard to think straight or feel straight with this cloud over my head. I don’t want to make a decision or take a step like that when everything around me is in such upheaval.”
“That’s very sensible.”
She narrowed her eyes at her mother as Jenna set the brake in front of the cabin. “And wrong?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Yes you did. Just not out loud.”
“Lil, you’re my daughter. My shining star.” Reaching out, she lifted a lock of Lil’s hair, let it slide through her fingers. “I want you safe and happy. I’m not content until I know you’re both, as much of both as is possible. I love Cooper, so I’d be thrilled if you decide he’s a part of making you safe and happy. But the safe and happy’s what I want most for you, however you decide. For now? I like seeing his truck there, and the lights on in your cabin. And . . . I like seeing him stepping out on the porch to welcome you home.”
Jenna slid out of the car. “Hi, Coop.”
“Ladies.” He walked down. “How’d it go?”
“You can judge that by the amount of bags still in the back. We considered renting a U-Haul for the loot, but we managed to stuff it and everyone in for the ride back. Barely.”
She opened the back, began to pass him bags.
“Did you leave anything for the rest of the state?”
“Not if we could help it. There. The rest is mine, all mine.” She turned, gave Lil a hug. “We don’t do this often enough.”
“I’d have to give myself a raise to do it more often.”
“You call me tomorrow.”
“I will.”
“Take care of my girl, Cooper.”
“Top of the list.”
Lil waved her off, watched the tailgate fade. “Is everything all right here?”
“Fine.”
“I should check, see if anyone left me any messages.”
“Matt and Lucius were still here when I got home. They said to tell you things ran okay without you. Even though you wouldn’t like to hear it.”
“Of course I like to hear it.”
“Then why are you frowning? I’m taking all this stuff inside.”
“I’m just not used to being away all day.” And now that she was back she wondered what had possessed her to suggest another day away.
“You were in Peru for six months.”
“That’s different. I don’t care if it’s illogical, it is different. I should do a circuit around the habitats.”
“I already did.” He dumped the bags at the base of the stairs. “Baby made do with me.”
“Oh. That’s good, too. I guess there’s no word on Ethan, or anything in that area.”
“I’d tell you if there
were.” He leaned down, kissed her. “Why don’t you relax? Isn’t stripping stores of all their stock supposed to relax the female?”
“That’s very sexist, and mostly true. I’m starving.”
“I ate the leftovers.”
“I want a sandwich. A really big sandwich.”
“Then it’s a good thing I went shopping, too,” he said as he walked with her to the kitchen. “Because you were out of bread and anything—other than peanut butter—to put between it.”
“Oh. Well, thanks.” She opened the fridge, and stood staring with her eyes wide. “Wow. This is a lot of food.”
“Not if two people actually eat a couple of meals a day.”
With a shrug, she pulled out packs of deli meat. “We did fancy for lunch, which means you end up ordering salad. Fancy salads. I nearly ordered a Reuben, but somehow it felt wrong. Especially since we had champagne. I just don’t think you can have a Reuben and champagne at the same time.”
He sat on the bench, watched her. “You had a good time. It shows.”
“I did. It took me a while to change gears, get in the groove, whatever. But thankfully I did and will not be forced to wear puce and flounces at Tansy’s wedding.”
He cocked his head. “What is puce, anyway?”
“Every bridal attendant’s worst nightmare. Tansy got the most fabulous dress. A killer of a dress, which mine will complement perfectly. Then there were the shoes. Watching Lucy and my mother in the shoe department is an education and a thrill. I’m a rank amateur in comparison. Then there were handbags.”
She chattered about purses, then the flower shops, reliving little pieces of the day in the telling while she poured a glass of milk.
“We grazed through shops like a herd of starving deer. I think my credit card gasped weakly at the end of the day.” She brought the sandwich to the table, plopped down. “God, my feet!”
Even as she bit in, she toed off her shoes.
“It’s work, you know. The shopping safari. As physical as mucking out stalls.”
“Uh-huh.” He lifted her feet onto his lap, and began to rub, running his knuckles up her instep.
Lil felt her eyes roll back in her head. “Oh. This is probably what heaven’s like. A huge sandwich, a glass of cold milk, and a foot rub.”
“You’re a cheap date, Lil.”
She smiled and took another bite. “How much of my shopping adventures did you actually listen to?”
“I tuned out in the shoe department.”
“Just as I suspected. Lucky for you, you give a good foot rub.”
Later, when she hung her new dress in the closet, she thought it had been an exceptional day. Stress-free, once she’d put stress aside, and touched with moments of real joy and wonderful foolishness.
And her mother had been right, she realized as she heard Coop tune in for the baseball scores. It was nice to have someone who’d walk out on the porch to welcome her home.
28
Lil felt him touch her, just the lightest touch, a brush on her shoulder, down her arm. As if he reassured himself she was there before he got out of bed in the predawn dark.
She lay, wakeful now, in the warmth of the bed, the warmth he’d left for her, and listened to the sound of the shower. The hiss of water against tile and tub.
She considered getting up herself, putting on the coffee, getting a jump on the day. But there was something so comforting, so sweetly simple about staying just where she was and listening to the water run.
The pipes clanged once, and she smiled when she caught his muffled oath through the bathroom door. He tended to take long showers, long enough for the small hot water heater to protest.
He’d shave now—or not, depending on his mood. Brush his teeth with the towel slung around his hips and his hair still dripping. He’d rub the towel over it briefly, impatiently, maybe scoop his fingers through it a few times.
Oh, to have hair that didn’t require fuss or time. But in any case, vanity wasn’t part of his makeup. He’d already be thinking about what needed to be done that day, which chore to deal with first on the daily list of chores.
He’d taken on a lot, she mused. The farm, the business, and because of who and what he was, the responsibility of finding ways to keep his grandparents involved in the day-to-day while making sure they didn’t overdo.
Then he’d added her, she thought. Not trying just to win her back but also to help her deal with the very real threat to her and hers. That piled extra hours, extra worry, extra work into his day.
And he brought her flowers.
He came back into the bedroom, moving quietly. That, she knew was both an innate skill of his and basic consideration. He took some care not to wake her, dressing in the half-dark, leaving his boots off.
She could smell the soap and water on him, and found it another kind of comfort. Heard him ease a drawer open, ease it shut again.
Later, she thought, she’d go downstairs to the scent of coffee, the scent of companionship. Someone cared enough to think of her. He’d probably light a fire, to take the chill off the house, even though he’d be leaving it.
If she needed him at any time of the day, she could call. He’d find a way to help.
He came to the bed, leaned down, and pressed a kiss to her cheek. She started to speak, but felt words would spoil the moment, would distract from what was happening inside her. She stayed silent as he slipped out of the room.
The night before he’d come out on the porch to greet her. He’d eaten the leftovers, and gone to the market. He’d walked with her on her evening check of the habitat.
He waited for her, she admitted. But what was she waiting for?
Promises, guarantees, certainties? He’d broken her heart and left her unspeakably lonely. It didn’t matter that he’d been motivated by good intentions, the hurt still happened. Still existed. She feared it nearly as much as she feared Ethan.
In fact, Coop was the only man who’d ever had the power to break her heart or make her afraid. Did she want to live without that risk? Because she would never get there, not with Coop. Just as she would never, never feel so utterly safe, happy, and excited about anyone else.
As dawn streamed in the windows she heard him leave. The door closing behind him, and moments later, the sound of his truck.
She rose, crossed to her dresser to open the bottom drawer. She dug under layers of sweats to draw out the cougar he’d carved for her when they’d been children.
Sitting cross-legged on the floor, she ran her fingers over the lines as she had countless times over the years. She’d put it away, true. But she took it with her when she traveled, kept it in that drawer at home. Her good-luck piece. And a tangible piece of him she’d never been able to toss away.
Through that roughly carved symbol, Coop had gone with her to Peru, to Alaska, to Africa and Florida and India. He’d been her companion on every field study.
Twenty years, she thought, nearly twenty years since he’d taken a block of wood and carved the image of what he knew—even then—she valued.
How could she live without that? Why would she choose to?
Standing, she set the cougar on her dresser, then opened another drawer.
She felt a tug for Jean-Paul. She hoped he was well, and he was happy. She wished him the love he deserved. Then she emptied the drawer.
She carried the lingerie downstairs. A fire crackled in the hearth, and the scent of coffee tantalized the air. In the kitchen she put the nightwear in a bag, and with a smile ghosting around her mouth put it in the laundry room.
It would wait until he got home, she thought, because this was home now. For both of them. Home was where you loved, if you were lucky. Where someone would light the fire and be there when you came back.
It was where you kept the precious. A baseball bat, a carved cougar.
She poured a mug of coffee and, carrying it with her, went upstairs to dress for the day. It was a good day, she thought, when you opened yourself
to both the joys and the risks of love.
COOP WORKED UP the first sweat of the morning mucking out the stalls. They had three group rentals booked for the day, two of them guided, so he’d need to load up a couple more horses and get in to set up. He needed to schedule a visit from the vet and the farrier, both at the stables and at the farm. He had to get in, check the website for future bookings.
And he wanted an hour, a good hour without interruptions to study the files, his notes, the map and try to find a new angle for tracking down Ethan Howe.
It was there, he knew it was there. But somehow he was missing it. A handful of men couldn’t cover the hundreds of acres of hills, forests, caves, and flats. The dogs couldn’t hold the scent when there was essentially nothing to hold.
A lure was needed. Something to lure Ethan out, just far enough to trap him. But since the only bait that seemed potent enough to accomplish that was Lil, he had to find another way.
Another angle.
He tossed another load of soiled hay into the wheelbarrow, then leaned on the pitchfork as his grandfather came in. Barely a limp now, Coop noted, though it generally increased if Sam stayed on his feet for several hours.
The angle there, Coop knew, was to get the man to take periodic breaks without making them seem like breaks.
“Just the man I wanted to see.” Coop shifted to stand between Sam and the barrow before his grandfather got it in his head to haul the manure out to the pile. “Do me a favor, will you? We need vet and farrier appointments here and at the stables. If you could set those up it would save me some time today.”
“Sure. I told you I’d see to the mucking out.”
“Right. I guess I forgot. Well, it’s nearly done.”
“Boy, you don’t forget a damn thing. Now hand over that pitchfork.”
“Yes, sir.”
“In case you’re working your brains trying to find other ways to keep me out of trouble and in the rocking chair, I’ll ease your mind.” With the grace of long experience, Sam went to work on the last stall. “Joe and Farley are going to give me some time today helping check fences. I’m going to hire the young Hossenger boy to do some chores around here, before and after school. If he works out, I’ll keep him on through the summer. He’s got it in his head he wants to work with horses. We’ll give him a try.”