The Dungeon Con_One Foot in the Grave

by Marty Myers

  “ I also want you to tell me more about the adventurers and heroes of this kingdom and the world. I have a decent idea from the dwarf, but he came from a faraway kingdom if his memories serve me right and I want to be certain I have as much of the facts as I can.” Hank went back to using the skeleton to drawing on his graph paper as Alastor recounted what he knew of the men in the kingdom, about their adventurers and most well-known heroes. As well as their allies the elves and dwarves. He also described the forces of light, with their clerics, angels and divine patrons.

  After listening to Alastor talk for quite a while Hank said, “ okay Alastor this is what I am thinking. We design a modest sized first floor of the dungeon just below the castle in a fairly traditional dwarven fashion. That way adventurers that make it that far will assume they know what they are in for deeper in. But we create absolutely no traditional stairways from there to down here. Instead, we make the spaces between those floors at least twice as thick as we would normally.”

  “ Then we have a few poorly hidden air shafts sunk to the next floor. these will be narrow and will require them to rope or crawl down slowly into and once they get down them they will find the 2nd floor is only tall enough to crawl through the passages. We will design tight low hallways that zig and zag like a snake around with tight corners. There will also be a couple big halls there with these lowered ceilings with many short columns packed in tightly for skeletons with daggers to hide behind before stabbing them as they get close enough. There won’t be enough room to effectively Swing crushing weapons against our resident boneheads.”

  “ We can also apply pitch or tar onto the ceilings in the rooms of this short floor. The adventurers are likely to have torches to light their way down here and when they set the ceiling alight the burning tar will drip down onto them as it burns and the smoke will choke their lungs, and the fire may burn all the good air up on this floor so that they suffocate. Lastly, the air shafts which is the only way back out will also fill with the smoke which will rise up them to partially choke out the floor above it. We will leave nothing to chance though. If they don’t set the ceilings on fire we will have at least one or two minions stationed towards the back of the rooms behind columns with flint and tender and orders to set the fires when the heroes get close enough.”

  “ The farthest room in this death trap shall have steps leading down into a pool of water as if the stairway is flooded to the next level. A challenge in itself for most but this stairway down will lead to a water-filled tunnel at least 40 or 50 feet long before leading back up into another room. Besides water, I am thinking of filling the tunnel with some man-eating fish, maybe even zombie fish if such a thing is possible,” he said excitedly.

  “ At the other end are steps leading up to a regular room filled with skeleton replacements for those lost to adventurers who make it into this floor. That way if a hero makes it so far as that room or hides somehow in the other rooms on the 2nd floor he will see the wet trail of skeletons walking up through the waterlogged stairway and believe that this is the path deeper into the dungeon. But that won’t be the case at all.”

  “ This last room will be packed with skeletons and a dead end and the skeletons there will have orders to kill anyone who enters. Also, I think we can arrange to have burnt up all the good air in there once the only tunnel to it is filled with water. Those hearty adventurers who hold their breath to swim down the tunnel and climb up from the water and find plenty of skeletons to fight won’t have anything to refill their lungs with! Just to add to their confusion we can place a false set of ornate doors there which can be trapped as well. Even if they open them up there will be nowhere to go behind them. Finally deep below that with no physical access what so ever to or from the surface we will have the main dungeon tomb housing Lord Provoas and the Alter room.”

  Alastor just looked over at Hank in shock for a minute. “ Why weren’t there traps like this in that dungeon you showed me,”` Alastor asked? “ Because no one likes a killer Dungeon Master, my friend.” Having finished describing his ideas to Alastor he worked at finishing his drawing out of the whole thing. He knew he needed to firm up the top floor’s design a bit more and that he hadn’t even fleshed out the bottom floor either and even needed to add some more personal traps and details to the dungeon but after talking it over with Alastor he thought he was on the right track.

  After that, they got back to commanding their skeleton mining crew and put in some more time into clearing out and shaping up what they had already done in case Lord Provoas came looking. Hank also tried casting more raises while directing the skeleton crew but found such multitasking beyond him for now.

  Instead, he decided he should try to learn some more spells from the necromantic paths quickly so he set aside ten minutes or so every hour to practice his casting and then went back to digging while his essence recovered. By the end of a full day of working on the dungeon, he had successfully learned to cast two more basic spells on the path of blood, flesh, and bones. They were to find the dead and preserve the dead. He had failed to reliably cast a couple of others but was confident he would get them working soon.

  He also had discovered his seeding the stone walls of the dungeon with his essence by passing through them was allowing him to claim even more of the mountain as the guardian of this place. His range of movement and his ability to sense activity in the dungeon was improving. He could even see distant parts of the dungeon without even looking into the scrying pool now if he just concentrated on them.

  While Hank was practicing this Alastor was alternating his breaks with teleporting stone waste piles on down the pass and teleporting in and out skeletons. He also found with practice he could teleport small groups of three skeletons at a time from place to place in the rooms they had cleared.

  Eventually, Alastor had to take a longer break to sleep but Hank found he no longer had to sleep at all. He could stay awake indefinitely as a spirit. Apparently, as long as he had enough essence and was bound as the guardian, sleeping was going to be a thing of the past. While Alastor was asleep he refrained from using his teleport for fear it would pull on their bond and wake him.

  Instead, he finally let himself stop and think about all that had happened to him and quietly cried. Here he was, trapped impossibly far away from his world and his old life. Sealed in here in this cave system. That he was being forced to make into a dungeon lair for his captors. His only companion was the demon who had tricked him into this crappy bargain. His body had been stolen by a god of darkness and evil who planned to use it to bring back his most powerful henchman to help him take over the world. He would never see his friends or his family again.

  He would never see Francis again either, he thought bitterly. Never have the chance to make up with her and to set their petty squabbles aside. The last year with her had been one of the absolute best of his life and now that was done with. As he cried he wondered how she was taking his disappearance and what she was doing right now…..

  Chapter 8

  Francis had been so mad, the whole day so far had been one thing after another. First, their hotel had run out of hot water during her shower. She had sworn at the shower head as she hurriedly finished up and hopped out only to nearly slip on Hanks towel he had left laying on the bathroom floor. Then while getting into costume she had noticed it was getting uncomfortably tight in a few places which had reminded her she had been missing several of her regular work out sessions at the gym since Hank had moved in.

  No woman wants to think she is getting fat so when Hank had suggested they stop on the way to the con to pick up some donuts and a coffee she had snapped at him that they didn’t need that garbage and that she was going to be eating healthier from now on. He hadn’t been happy with any of her suggestions of what to get for breakfast either and they were both dissatisfied with the gas station food they had ended up settling on.

  As always the lines to get inside of Dungeon Con were long and Francis swore at him when it
seemed Hank wasn’t paying any attention to her and her Diva Warrior Princess outfit. She had only worn it again because Hank was so taken with how she looked in it last year when they had first met here. Instead, he seemed to be ogling some of the other girls in line. She reminded him that he was here with her. He had replied that of course he was, he was just looking at the crowd’s costumes. That was one of the reasons they came to the con to see and be seen in them. He wanted to see what the competition for the costume contest later was going to be like. Or some lame excuse like that.

  After that Hank had acted all weird going out of his way to rudely ignore all the girls we came across. Why did he have to act so dramatic, for goodness sake, he even crossed over to the other side of an aisle to avoid a group of girls dressed as nuns! At that point, I had had it with him and gave him a piece of my mind about his antics.

  After that, we just couldn’t seem to get back on the same page. I wanted to shop around at some of the costume booths while he wanted to hit up several game companies booths to check out their latest gaming modules and sourcebooks. The Con wasn’t really laid out very well this year with everyone’s booth assignment’s scattered around. Instead of grouping them by subject matter or genre or some other category so things were spread out everywhere.

  There were also more oddball vendors setup this year mixed in with the regular gaming companies and sci-fi fantasy merchants. There were even some psychics, fortune tellers, crystal sellers, and even a reiki master setting a booth this year. It was a mess and today I didn’t have the patience for it. We argued up and down the isles as we browsed through the con’s booths.

  Hank then dragged me to a panel of actors talking about the next installment of that big sci-fi blockbuster movie franchise coming out. I had wanted to catch the superhero panel. They were going to have the actors playing parts from both of the big comic universes movie franchises on the same stage going head to head in question and answer sessions and I wanted to see what the fall out from that would be. There were rumors leaked online that a mega-crossover event with both groups was in the first stages of being filmed. I couldn’t believe Hank would miss that. I also couldn’t believe someone planning the con had scheduled both those big panels to happen at roughly the same time. I caved and we went to the sci-fi panel which was such a snooze fest even some of the actors looked like they were about to fall asleep.

  After that Francis spotted some of her girlfriends amongst the crowd of con-goers. She saw they had all elected to come in costume this year and that Stacey and Darla had decided to come dressed in especially provocative outfits that were sure to attract a lot of the male con goer’s attention. Hank meanwhile was obviously trying to figure out how to not look at them without being rude. Finally, he seemed to give up as the whole slew of girls ran up and hugged me while squealing. “ Francis, its good to see you its been too long,” Stacey said. She looked over at Hank who was ignoring her and snorted. “ So have you checked out the costume booths over on the south wall? Reynard’s has some just fabulous things this year!”

  “ By the way, where is your new costume? I know you’ve been busy with things but surely you made something new up for the Con?” “ No Stacey you know with my new work schedule and school I just haven’t had the time,” Francis said. “ Well Hank you at least tried this year,” Stacey said a bit snidely. “ Pirates are a dime a dozen here though, so don’t expect that get up to take you very far in the costume contest. By the way, whats up with not looking at me when I’m talking to you, don’t you like what you see? This hot costume is going to win me first place this year.” Hank sighed and said, “ its a nice costume Stacey, very uh, nice.” Stacey rolled her eyes at him while Francis gritted her teeth.

  After an awkward pause, Stacey went back to talking with Francis. “ Me and the girls haven’t seen you at the gym lately, have you changed your schedule there too?” While Francis tried to deflect that question the other girls eyed Hank and Francis and Stacey with varying levels of amusement or boredom depending on how much they cared about drama and gossip. It was obvious to them that Stacey was just trying to be her usual troublemaking self, but there seemed as if there was something not right in paradise today between Francis and Hank. The girls needed to get her alone so she would spill the beans.

  Darla asked, “Have you had lunch yet. We were just talking about stepping out to get something, what they available down at the food court hardly counts as food.” Francis was starving. About that time Hank spoke up, “ whats wrong with getting a burger or a pizza here? We could eat and be back up here at the con and save twenty to thirty minutes or more it would take us to get out to the car and drive somewhere and then get back in here.” “ Look Hank,” Francis said, “ I am not eating some greasy burger and fries for lunch. I already settled for that abomination that was supposed to be a breakfast burrito this morning. If your set on staying here and eating that greasy slop, I’ll just go with the girls here and get caught up with them while we drive to a real restaurant and get something healthy to eat. You and I have been eating way too much fast food lately. I’ll call you when we get back.”

  The girls quickly surrounded her and led her off towards the exit. A few like Stacey disparaged Hank while the others began catching her up on all the he said she said gossip she had missed out on since the last time they had all been together. Francis found herself sitting next to Stacey and Darla on the drive to the restaurant. Stacey said, “ I just think he takes you way too much for granted. Your an absolutely amazing person, but he can’t see that. Does he even really care about your health and well being.” Francis was hungry and mad. So far the whole day it seemed Hank’s wants had come first and with Stacey and Darla egging her on she did something that she would come to regret for a long time.

  “ Girl,” Darla said, “Stacey’s right, you cant let him just take you for granted like that all the time. You should put a little scare into him and make him think about what it would be like to be without you. Shoot him a text saying you’ve had it with his shit, and that it is over between you. That man will be begging to make it all up to you and start respecting you again before we even get back to the con.” A lot of uh-huhs echoed this advice from around the packed car and even a few amens were uttered. Before she could really think about it Francis pulled out her phone and typed the fateful text.

  Shortly the girls arrived at the restaurant and got a table. They ordered and continued to chat but all Francis could seem to do was stare down at her phone. She thought Hank would have read it by now and been blowing up her phone with pleas and begging her to reconsider. Instead, there was nothing. When she said so, Stacey said, “ Just give it a bit, Hank is still back at the con. “ He might not have heard his phone buzz and read your message yet. I mean, how desperate would you look if you called or texted him now and he hadn’t even seen the first text?” Francis sat there being both mad and miserable until their food came. She ate her chicken salad, picking at it even though she didn’t really enjoy it.

  Finally, she slipped off to the bathroom for a minute to cry and try to collect herself. She was just about done when she heard the bathroom door open again and footsteps approach her stall. “Francis, Is that you?” It was one of her quieter friends, named Janeen. Francis considered her to be very smart, but a little too reserved for her own good. “ Francis, I thought you should know, Stacey has been talking shit about Hank almost the whole time you have been seeing him. She likes to stir things up and since you haven’t been around much the last couple months has even been running you down too. I think she is just jealous of you two for some reason. Right now she and Darla are out there talking and laughing about the whole conversation that happened in the car between you on the way over here to the other girls that drove separately. They’re bragging about how they played you.”…

  When Francis still didn’t say anything back she waited a bit and then said. “ I just wanted you to let you know. I got a great job offer across the country. I am going to t
ake it and this con will probably be the last time I see everyone again for quite a while. You have always been really decent to me. So I wanted you to know. Please don’t say anything about me telling you, but if you want to ride with me back to the con after lunch your more than welcome.” Francis came out of the stall and gave Janeen a big hug. “ I won’t say anything, I don’t want them to know I am on to them now,” Francis said. “ Thanks Janeen, I do want to ride back with you.”

  The rest of lunch was a drawn-out affair that Francis just wanted to get over with. She tried to pretend that she didn’t know what was up with the other girls’ sly comments and chatter but it was hard. She had tried calling Hank immediately after Jeneen’s talk in the bathroom but it went straight to voicemail. Her texts weren’t getting through either. What a fool I was, Francis thought to herself. To follow these vipers advice because I was too Hangry to stop and think clearly about the situation. Not all the girls here deserved to be blamed but Stacey and Darla were going right on the top of her shit list. Francis just had to hope she could undo this mess with Hank.

  Janeen was true to her word and drove Francis right back to the con after lunch. Hank had been right, it had taken forever to get across town and back into the con. Hank still wasn’t answering his phone, he had probably silenced his phone if he had gone in to attend another panel or maybe even decided to run a game. She had told him she would call when she got back though so he should have it back on by now. Francis walked around to his favorite booths to look for him and then thought to go check out the rooms reserved for running tabletop games. Hank was a big-time Dungeon Master and really got into running fantastic stories for people. He was one of just a few people she knew who could throw a game together at the spur of the moment or run a module equally well.