“Thank you for that.” She said. “Whether you meant to or not, you stuck to your promise and I’m so much happier to know that than you could ever imagine.”
“You’re welcome.” I said distractedly as I thought back to the brief altercation.
I could remember the burning pain and just a blur of motion before I responded. I hadn’t even considered the fact that I hadn’t just stabbed out with my knife until Lily mentioned it. I had to ask myself why? Why hadn’t I just killed the person attacking me?
It was more than a little disturbing to think that Lily was right, that subconsciously I had been holding back from killing someone who wasn’t really a bad person. I felt slightly put out by that idea, like a wolf that had become domesticated just like any other dog. My edge had gone, replaced by something else.
As I looked into Lily’s pretty blue eyes and saw myself reflected back, I realised that she was that which had replaced it. She had somehow put a leash on the killer within me and the fact that I wouldn’t change that if it meant staying with her was disturbing.
“You ok?” she asked, and I saw my smile reflected in her eyes.
“I’m fine.” I said and I would be, once I had the chance to kill someone again.
I could accept the leash when with her, when sticking to my promise made so long ago now to not harm the innocent. I could accept it because I knew that the world was full of people who weren’t innocent and I would make sure that I killed as many of them as I could.
“I’m really fine.” I grinned at her doubtful look and she frowned a little, perhaps sensing the change in me.
“Right then, we need to get back to Phillip.” she said, and called the group to order before instructing Alicia to gather any items she wanted to bring.
As soon as everyone was ready we set off back through the village, past the hanged woman and the zombie heads on the wall.
The day was fading and the dark clouds that filled the sky had begun to release their burden, the heavy flakes floating serenely down on a mild breeze. We reached the edge of the village and stopped.
Before us, we could clearly see our tracks from when we had arrived earlier in the day and beside them were another set of tracks that came almost up to the village edge before turning back into the trees.
It seemed whoever had been watching me earlier had followed us and could well be beneath the shade of the trees keeping a close eye on us.
We shared glances between each of us, an unspoken message passed from one to the other. Something wasn’t right. I pulled my knife from its sheath and waited for the others to ready their own weapons before we set off into the deepening gloom, towards the trees and our mysterious shadow.
As exhausted and malnourished as the rest of us were, Alicia was clearly one very short step away from starvation.
She couldn’t move very fast through the snow, stumbling often and gasping for breath. She needed frequent short breaks and I was rapidly becoming annoyed with her when Pat lifted her easily and threw her over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift.
Gregg and Cass were carrying the carrier bags between them. Pat had the rucksack and Alicia over his shoulder which left Lily and me with weapons free to defend our little group. We each took a separate side with the others between us and marched on through the woods.
It was there, faint but definitely still there, that feeling of being watched. We’d lost the tracks beneath the trees and so couldn’t continue trailing the unknown person who seemed to be following us. They hadn’t lost us though.
I brushed past a branch and spun, startled as a clump of snow fell to the ground behind me with a soft whump. The feeling of being stalked was not a familiar one for me and I was fast growing to dislike it.
The wail of the undead sounded to the east of us and we paused as we waited tensely for any reply and cursed when it came from seemingly all directions.
Lily looked across to me with worry in her eyes and I smiled reassuringly. I would get her to safety no matter what.
More moans came from ahead of us, closer than the ones to the east and we slowed our pace, wary. The snow that was managing to make it through the thick branches above wasn’t so heavy as to obstruct visibility too much but it was enough for us to be careful.
My only warning was the twang of a thin branch as the zombie brushed past it, arms outstretched, eager to take me into its embrace. I rammed my dagger up beneath its jaw and it fell without touching me.
Alicia screamed, apparently not yet used to zombies attacking in the woods and no doubt alerted every undead creature in the area to our location. I swore and braced myself for the next. It wasn’t a long wait.
They came out of the dark shadows beneath the trees, their greying flesh showing signs of exposure to the freezing cold. Gruesome wounds open to the air and dead eyes staring at us as they moaned their hunger.
I moved swiftly from one to the next, my knife striking one after another. I ducked beneath an outstretched arm, swayed past a clumsy lunge, kicked out at withered limbs and stabbed repeatedly at their heads.
Lily was fighting her own clutch of zombies, weaving between them gracefully as her hammer lashed out like a vipers tongue. She struck them repeatedly around their head and shoulders, lacking the same power that Pat had, her kills required more hits but she did kill them.
We increased the pace again, our friends between us with their heavy loads and the moans of the undead following in our wake.
As we crossed the last clearing before the final stretch of the woods, the sounds of the undead could only be heard from behind us and I was confident that we were almost safe when three zombies crashed through the bushes and came directly at me.
Lily looked over and I waved her away. I could more than deal with three shamblers by myself.
“Keep going,” I called and she nodded as I grinned at my prey.
A stab through the temple, kick to the legs, thrust through the eye and jab to the back of the skull of the last and they were all dead. It had taken less than a dozen seconds and I grinned as I panted and stared down at my handiwork. I never saw the blow coming.
I fell to my knees, dazed as I tried to hold away the blackness that was crowding my vision. My head vibrated like a bell that had just been struck and I felt a too familiar dampness on the back of my neck that indicated that I was bleeding yet again.
A savage kick to my ribs knocked me to the floor and I rolled away from my attacker, my knife lost somewhere behind me. I reached a tree and pulled myself to my feet as quickly as I could and turned in time to see a club coming directly at me.
I ducked, an act that almost caused me to vomit as the world lurched around me and staggered to the side, away from whoever was attacking me.
Once everything stopped spinning, I fell back against a tree and watched my attacker slowly approach.
“Toby?” I said in confusion, my tongue seemed thick in my mouth which was never a good sign. “What’re you doing?”
“I’m sorry, I have to do this.” Toby said with apparent sadness.
He looked much the same as the last time I had seen him, messy dark hair and a serious expression. When we had fought beside each other in Windermere, I had felt a certain kinship with him, as though he could actually be a friend. I may have been mistaken.
“Why?” I gasped as I tried my best to jog away from him but barely managed to stumble to the next tree around the edge of the clearing.
“She wants you dead.” Toby said simply.
“Why would you do it though?”
“Normally I wouldn’t.” Toby said carefully as he weighed the club in his hand. “I’d resist but to be honest, I think you’re the reason Brett died and we ended up with that mad woman.”
“What makes you think that?” I asked as I struggled to locate my knife on the snow covered ground.
“I thought at the time that it was odd that he’d open the door and let a zombie in, even if he was a
little drunk.” he said, apparently not too eager to finish me off. “But you were the only other beside me who knew the zombies were out there and from what I’ve heard from your old group... it became clear that you would have no problem with killing him.”
“You have me there.” I admitted with a forced grin as I finally saw where my knife lay, across the clearing with Toby between me and it.
“Because of you, my friends are trapped at those apartments and I have to do what she says or they’ll suffer.”
“Who?” I asked though I knew the answer.
“Rachel, she’s the one in charge there whether Matthew knows it or not.” Toby said grimly, “And she really doesn’t like you.”
“Few people do.” I said with a shrug and a grin as I darted away from him, only to stumble off balance into a tree to land with a thump on the ground.
I groaned and made it as far as my knees before his club caught me in my side and I heard something crack followed by a sharp pain. I fought the urge to giggle as I realised my moan sounded much like a zombie’s.
“You don’t have to do this.” I panted and he grunted. “We could go and kill her, then your friends would be free.”
“Sorry.” Was all Toby said before he swung the club at my head.
I dropped to the ground and his swing passed over me. In desperation I reached out and yanked on his ankle. Overbalanced from the missed swing, he fell to the ground beside me.
With the little strength I had quickly fading, I scrambled over the cold snow towards him. My hands sought his throat and I received a blow to the head from his club for my pains, though he couldn’t swing hard enough to crack my skull it hurt a hell of a lot and caused my vision to blur.
The moans I had heard from the south sounded again and they were definitely closer. I had little choice but to finish the fight fast or die, either at his hands or the undeads’.
Another blow to my head caused me to swear and I knew I didn’t have the strength left to choke him to death. My knife was out of reach and he was readying for another swing of his club. I glanced across and saw the three zombies lying dead in the snow and grinned. When all else fails, I could always emulate them.
My head darted down as I released my hands from his throat and replaced them with my teeth. I bit down as hard as I could and pulled back. Toby screamed and pushed me away which only aided me as I came away with some of his flesh and the taste of copper in my mouth.
Despite the blood that seemed to be everywhere, Toby clamped one hand to his throat and pushed himself away from me, club lying forgotten on the reddish snow.
With a curse he pulled himself to his feet and ran from the clearing as I lay back in the snow and spit out the bit of skin and flesh. I didn’t think that I had managed to sever any major artery with my teeth but I had hurt him and perhaps done enough damage that he thought it was worse than it was.
The moans were moving steadily closer and with a groan of my own, I pushed myself to my feet and with hesitant steps, went to retrieve my knife.
I must have passed out when I bent over to pick it up because the next thing I was aware of was Pat carrying me. I managed to get one look of Lily’s concerned face with her beautiful eyes staring right back at me before darkness closed in.
Chapter 17
Darkness had fully accepted me into its embrace and I lay within a cocoon of pleasant isolation, warm and comfortable all alone with my dark thoughts. I was having such a pleasant time imagining all the delightfully painful things that I planned to do to Rachel and the others that I didn’t notice I wasn’t alone until the covers were pulled off of me.
“How’re you feeling?” Lily asked as she flopped down beside me on the bed.
“The painkillers have kicked in and my head is no longer ringing.” I said and she smiled.
“Good, you had me worried for a while.” Lily said as she rested her head against my chest, “You ready to tell me what happened?”
“It was Rachel.” I said and explained exactly what had happened, though I may have exaggerated Toby’s depiction of Rachel as an insane tyrant and ignored his accusations about my having killed Brett, which were true after all.
“Poor Toby.” Lily said and I gaped at her.
“What about poor me?” I asked. “I was the one he tried to brain.”
“It seems like he had no choice though.” Lily said, “Besides Pat found you in time.”
“Not that I’m ungrateful but what did happen?” I asked, “Last thing I remember was reaching for my knife.”
“Well, when we reached the edge of the woods and looked back to find you missing, Pat insisted we cross the fields while he went back to look for you.” Lily said. “It was a good thing too because he reached you a few steps before a zombie did. You owe him a huge thank you.”
“He’ll get it.” I agreed. “The bigger question is what will we do about Rachel?”
“From what we’ve heard, she’s gone off the deep end.” Lily said thoughtfully.
“So how about I go and deal with her.” I suggested and waited patiently while she considered it.
“As much as I hate to say it, I think you might have to.” she said finally and I blinked in pleased surprise.
“Really?”
“The thing’s she has done are terrible and she needs to be stopped.” Lily said. “I think we need to exhaust other options first, like talk to Matthew about her.”
“Why bother? He won’t believe us and even if he did, from the sounds of it she has more control over the new people there.”
“We should watch them.” Lily finally said after another lengthy pause. “The apartments I mean.”
“That can be done.” I agreed happily, “We can find out their comings and goings and when the time is right I can deal with her.”
“I don’t like the idea of killing any living person.” Lily sighed.
“It’s necessary though.” I said with a quiet insistence in my tone, “If you want to protect those who are innocent and need protection, then you need to understand that we have no prisons anymore and exiling people will just give them the chance to come back and harm those you care about.”
“But doesn’t it feel a little bit too much like we are judge, jury and executioner?” Lily asked plaintively. “What right do we have to decide who lives and who dies. If it’s just because they’ve killed people then by rights you should be killed too.”
“That’s true.” I agreed. “These aren’t normal times though. To survive we will need to be hard so that those who come after us don’t need to be.”
“Will they? Come after us I mean. Will anyone be having children and will they even survive?”
“I’ll try my best to find a way for you and those people you care for to not only live but to prosper.” I promised and she tilted her head to look up at me, eyes shining with unshed tears.
“I’d like that.”
“Then we deal with Rachel and the others and anyone we can save from them, we will do.” I said and felt her nod, the barest movement of her head against my chest.
“But no harm will come to those who don’t deserve it which includes Matthew.” Lily said.
“I won’t kill him.” I agreed, but didn’t say anything about not stopping him from dying.
“Come on, there’s food cooking down there.” Lily said, and I reluctantly allowed myself to be led downstairs.
Everyone was gathered in the living room sitting on either furniture or the thickly carpeted floor before the fire which filled the room with pleasant warmth and the slightest smell of wood smoke which I had always found pleasant.
Phillip was sitting in an overstuffed armchair beside the fireplace with his granddaughter on his lap, her head on his chest as she watched the rest of us with red rimmed eyes. I guessed that the news of her parents deaths was still upsetting for her.
Gregg was chatting with Alicia who looked half asleep, though whether from talking
with Gregg or exhaustion I could only guess, and Pat and Cass went into the kitchen to finish off the cooking as I arrived with Lily.
We found a place on the floor before the fire and I sat in the company of my friends and found myself enjoying the sound of their talk and laughter even though I held myself apart from the conversation.
Lily leant against me and without even thinking about it, my arm slipped comfortably around her waist. Casual intimacy or any real intimacy was new to me and I was surprised at how easy it was becoming with her.
Pat and Cass soon returned with plates loaded with food. Mashed potato most likely made from the instant powder, mixed vegetables likely from tins and even a small amount of beef which again, likely came out of a tin.
Despite all of that, I devoured the food on my plate. Without having to cease eating to make conversation like the others did, I finished long before them and felt comfortably full for the first time in a long while.
The conversation around me seemed to be about things that everyone missed from before the apocalypse and I found myself listening curiously to their talk.
Cass missed the clubs and nightlife, dancing and just generally having fun. Pat shyly admitted to missing the gym where he said he spent most of his free time before the end. Phillip simply said his family before excusing himself and his granddaughter to bed.
Alicia missed her friends and her boyfriend who she hadn’t seen for a long time while Gregg missed music. Apparently he was something of an amateur musician in his past life and longed to feel a guitar in his hands once more.
Lily missed the time spent with friends, summer holidays in exotic places and above all else, warmth and good food. I held her closer and thought that perhaps once we had survived the winter, we could at least leave this place for somewhere warmer.
“What about you Ryan?” Cass asked, and I blinked as I realised they expected me to join in their game.
“Nothing springs to mind.” I said and they all laughed.
“Surely you must miss something.” Cass said.
Killing the Dead (Books 4-6) Page 38