Avenging Home

by Angery American

  Meathead was a little more direct in his approach. He jammed his massive head into my cup, sloshing hot tea into my lap. Shit! I shouted as I brushed it off my pants. He smelled it and started to lick at the wet spot. I pushed his head away, saying, little too gay there, dude. But it was nice to sit with them.

  Off in the direction of Sarge’s house, I heard a diesel engine rumble to life. That meant it was time to get my stuff together for the ride to town. I went inside and grabbed my gear and hung the bulk on my body. I stepped into the bedroom where Mel was asleep, I and leaned over and kissed her.

  Rolling over, she asked, “Where are you going?”

  “Into town. We have to meet with Sheffield.”

  Half asleep, she said, “Ok. Be careful. Love you.”

  I patted her ass. “I will, always am. Love you too.” But she was already back to sleep. I envied her. Mel could lie down and be asleep before her head was on the pillow. I used to tease her, saying she had a mercury switch in her head. All she had to do was get horizontal and she was out. Must be nice.

  I walked over to Danny’s and found him sitting on the porch. “You’re up early,” I said.

  He rocked in his chair. “Couldn’t really sleep.”

  Walking up on the porch, I said, “Me neither.”

  “You guys headed to town?”

  Sitting down in another rocker, I said, “Yeah. We have to meet with the Captain and see what we can do about those feds out at the Elk’s Camp.”

  “I’ll be interested to see what they come up with. I’m not looking forward to it though.”

  Rocking my chair, I replied, “Me neither, buddy. It scares the shit out of me, actually.”

  Sarge’s Hummer pulled through the gate and stopped in front of the house. Sarge got out with Miss kay. Then Mike, Ted and Dalton piled out as well. Kay stopped at the door on her way in the house. “You boys are up early.”

  I smiled. “Waiting on breakfast.”

  She smiled. “It’ll be ready shortly.”

  Sarge came up on the porch, coffee cup in one hand and a thermos in the other. He took the last available chair. Mike looked around and said, “Where the hell am I supposed to sit?”

  Sarge reached out with his foot and pushed his ass. “Kids play in yard, not on the porch.”

  Mike grabbed his crotch. “I got your kids right here!”

  Sarge made a wild kick at his hand that Mike easily avoided. Mike stepped back laughing and gave the old man the finger. Sarge chuckled and said, “You’re lucky I ain’t had my coffee yet.”

  “Whatever grandpa,” Mike replied.

  Sarge leaned forward in a motion like he was going to throw the hot coffee on Mike. Mike jumped and ran for the door and into the house. Sarge sat back laughing. “Like I’d waste good coffee on his miserable ass.”

  Ted was shaking his head and sat down on the edge of the porch. I looked the two of them over. “You guys are off to an early start.”

  Sarge cocked his head to the side. “Shit, what the hell are you doing up before the damn sun?”

  “Eh, couldn’t sleep.”

  Sarge snorted. “Who are you kidding. You wet the bed, didn’t you?” Ted’s head rocked back in laughter.

  With a laugh, I said, “No. I got up in the middle of the night and pissed in your coffee cup.”

  Sarge took a big gulp of coffee and swished it around in his mouth. Swallowing it, he asked, “Damn! You eat asparagus yesterday?” I couldn’t help but laugh, as did Ted, Dalton and Danny.

  “That’s messed up,” Danny said.

  We hung out on the porch for a little while talking about the news I’d heard the night before. Sarge had some choice words about Russian and Chinese troops.

  “I’ve always wanted to kill me a commie. I grew up with the duck and cover crap. We were told every day the Russians wanted to nuke the shit out of us. That’s why I went into the army. But all I ever killed were ragheads in man dresses.”

  “Looks like you might get your chance now. Two flavors, borscht and Chow Mein. It’s them rice-eaters I’d like a shot at,” Ted said.

  “I’d rather not tangle with either one of them,” I said.

  “Honestly, I don’t want to either, Morgan,” Sarge said. Waving his arm out at the scene in front of us, he added, “What we’ve been up against here, will be child’s play compared to fighting either one of them. They’ll bring all their party favors, and it’ll be ugly.”

  We continued to talk as the sun rose and the world began to wake up. The birds began to announce to all they were awake. A flight of Sandhill cranes passed over the house making their raucous call. Large birds, they looked so elegant when on the wing. And the red crest on their heads made them really stand out.

  Thad, Jess and Doc showed up and took up spots on the porch. I asked Doc how Jamie was doing. He leaned back against a post and said, “She’s doing pretty good. I think she’ll be fine.”

  Kay came out onto the porch with large platter. On it were large biscuits with meat sandwiched in them. Mike came out behind her. With a mouthful of biscuit, he pointed at the one in his hand and said, “This shit is good!” He caught himself and looked at Kay. “Oops, sorry. This is a good biscuit.”

  Kay smiled at him. “That’s alright, Mike.”

  She handed me a biscuit and I looked at it. “What’s in it?”

  Kay straightened. “It’s sausage, silly!”

  I exclaimed, “Sausage! How’d we get sausage!”

  “How do you think, dunderhead! We butchered a hog yesterday!” Sarge barked.

  “I know. But I didn’t know we had sausage making stuff,” I replied. Taking a bite, I closed my eyes. “Oh, that is good!”

  Mike was bouncing up and down, nodding his head vigorously. “Told you! I told you!”

  “Mary and I used Danny’s grinder and some spices Bobbie had; and I got some more from Mel,” Kay said. Touching a finger to the side of her face, she added, “That reminds me, I need to check the rest of the houses for more spices.”

  “I’ll do it, Kay. We’ll handle that for you today,” Jess said.

  “Oh, you’re a dear.”

  “I will too if it means more of this sausage!” Sarge barked. “Miss Kay, this is amazingly good.”

  She smiled. “Thank you, Linus.”

  Everyone agreed the sausage was wonderful. It was a really nice change. We take for granted what seasoned food tastes like. Spices and herbs from around the world were at our fingertips on the grocery store shelves. We never gave a second thought to what it took to get all those wonderful seasonings into our food. But let me tell you, after several months of very little spice used in our cooking, this sausage was a taste explosion!

  Thad looked at the last bite of his biscuit. “I’m sure going to miss your cooking, Miss Kay.”

  “What do you mean you’re going to miss my cooking? Where are you going, Thad?”

  Thad pointed at me. “Ole Sheriff Morgan here got me shanghaied into working on the farm for a couple of days.”

  Kay spun around to face me, with her hands firmly planted on her hips as she tore into me. “What do you mean you got him working on the farm!”

  Thad laughed. “It ain’t like that, Miss Kay.”

  Then the realization came over her. “Wait. We have a farm?”

  “Indeed, we do. We’ve got over fifty acres plowed and ready to plant,” I said.

  Thad laughed. “Yeah, we got fifty acres ready to plant.”

  Holding up my hands, I said, “Okay, okay, you and Cecil have it ready to plant.”

  “What are you planting?” Kay asked.

  Thad rubbed his hands on his legs. “Oh, Cecil has all kinds of seeds piled up. I don’t know it all, but there’s going to be a lot if we can get
people to work down there.”

  “Enough of this jawin’. Time to get this goat rope on the road,” Sarge said.

  “I want to stop at the market in Altoona and see if they have any milk,” I said.

  “Milk?” Kay asked.

  Nodding, I said, “The old guy we got the butter from should have some milk this morning.”

  Clasping her hands in front of her face, she said, “That would be wonderful! It would make these biscuits better. I could make buttermilk.”

  “How do you make buttermilk?” Danny asked.

  With a dismissive wave, she said, “Oh that’s easy. Just a little vinegar or even lemon juice added in will make buttermilk.” She winked, “and we have vinegar.”

  “A cold glass of clabber would be good,” Sarge said. Standing up, he added, “wish we had some cornbread to put in it.”

  With a very distasteful look, Mike asked, “Clabber? What the hell?”

  Kay smiled at Mike and patted him on the shoulder. “It’s just another name for buttermilk.”

  “Kay I need some meat to trade for the milk,” I said.

  She went in the house and returned shortly with a plastic bag and handed it to me. I looked in it and saw several other bags inside containing various cuts of meat.

  Kay pointed at the bag and said, “There’s some sausage in there too.”

  Looking back into the bag, I asked, “You sure you want to trade that?”

  She smiled, “We’ve got plenty and I can make more. We’re going to be busy today canning as much as of the meat as we can. But I’ll make another batch of sausage today if you guys want it.”

  There was a unanimous approval of the suggestion. Kay smiled and said she’d have it ready later today. We said our goodbyes and headed out. Thad was going to ride with me and Sarge and the guys had to go pick up the prisoner. Wedrove up to the end of the road to wait for Sarge and talked about the farm while we waited. Then a sudden thump on the back of the truck scared the crap out of us. We both jumped and I looked in the rearview mirror to see Dalton’s face pressed against the glass with a clownish grin.

  “What the hell’s wrong with you? That’s a good way to get lead poisoning,” I shouted.

  Dalton walked around to my door and leaned on the side of the truck. Looking in, he said, “Then bring that rifle up. Go ahead. Let me see.”

  I grabbed the rifle and went to swing it out the window. The barrel banged into the steering wheel. Thad was ducking for cover, though in my defense, the muzzle was never pointed at him. Dalton laughed at me. “That’s the problem with a full size carbine in the truck. Just use your pistol.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know. You need to hop in. We’re headed to town to meet with the Guard.”

  “This about the Elk’s Camp?” I nodded and he quickly climbed in. Leaning over the back of my seat and using a thick hillbilly drawl, he said, “We going to town, pa?”

  When I saw Sarge’s Hummer coming up behind me, I pulled out. He followed me up to the Kangaroo in Altoona. I pulled up in front of the dairy man’s stand and hopped out. He was setting large jars of milk and butter out on the table. The milk was in large half gallon jars. There were also quart and pint jars of butter and cream.

  He greeted me as I got out. “Mornin’! That gator meat sure was good.”

  “Well, I wanted to get some milk this morning.” Dropping the bag on the table, I opened it and said, “I brought some more meat. This time it’s bear, pork and sausage.”

  He reached out and picked up the bag. “Bear meat, you say?” Looking at me, he added, “and sausage?”

  “Yeah, and that sausage is good too. Had some for breakfast.”

  The old man took the meat out and inspected the packages. “How much milk you want?”

  Looking at the jars sitting on the table, I said, “How about four of them?”

  The old man rubbed his chin. “I don’t know.”

  I picked up the sausage. “This here is worth one jar by itself. I know you have to tend those cows and milk them. I know there’s work in it. But there’s work in this as well.” Picking up the big bag of bear meat, I said, “And this is bear. It’s good meat. Not to mention there’s a whole pork roast in here.”

  “How about three jars of milk?”

  I picked up a pint of butter. “Three and this.”

  He nodded. “Deal!” I shook his hand and picked up my jars. “You keep bringing meat, and I’ll keep you in milk.”

  “I’ll try. I have another deal I’d like to talk to you about later. But I’ll have to come back for that.”

  “Any time. I’m here ever’ day.”

  Chapter 8

  Pulling up to the armory, I was surprised to see a rather large crowd gathered in the parking lot. What was even better was the fact many of them were clutching shovels, hoes and rakes. They’d brought their own implements with them. Parking the truck, we got out and found Cecil. He was standing with a sergeant who was organizing the crowd into groups for transport.

  “Mornin’, Cecil,” I said.

  He stuck out his hand. “Mornin’ fellas.” Sweeping his arm over the crowd, he said, “Look at all of ‘em. I can’t believe so many people turned out.”

  “It’s surprising. But it is the first day. Let’s see how many turn out tomorrow.”

  “However long they work is good. We need all the bodies we can get out there,” Thad said.

  Sarge walked up with our prisoner. “Here’s another one for the chain gang.”

  Cecil looked at the man. “What’d he do?”

  “Killed one of our hogs. She was about ready to drop a little of piglets,” Thad said.

  Cecil snorted and looked directly at the kid. “I’d a shot his ass.”

  Robert looked at the ground and said nothing. Thad looked at him and replied, “He’s the lucky one.”

  Cecil’s eyebrows went up. “There were more?”

  “There was one more,” Thad said.

  Cecil looked at Robert. “I guess it’s your lucky day then.” He pointed to where the other men sentenced to labor were standing with Shane. They were each holding a handful of chain that went down to their foot where it was wrapped around it and secured with a padlock.

  Sarge looked at Mike. “Take this turd over there and have Shane get him hooked up to the shit-bird parade.”

  Mike pushed Robert. “Let’s go. Time for you to join a gang.” As Mike followed him, he started to sing, “Don’t cha’ know that’s the sound of the men, working on the chain gang! Working on the chain, gang!”

  I laughed at him. “That dude just ain’t right!”

  Robert kept his head down as he was guided through the crowd by Mike. He was ashamed. He was handcuffed and about to be chained to other men, right in front of the entire town. People parted as he walked past. Some of the women in the group gave him dirty looks; and more than one person asked, “What’d he do?”

  Mike being Mike, began to call out. “Coming through! Make a hole! Pig thief coming through!”

  Hearing what he’d done, people looked at Robert with disgust and some with possible envy. The latter was reinforced with a comment of, who the hell has a hog now-a-days? Mike found Shane and grabbed the back of Robert’s pants.

  “Got another volunteer for you, Shane.”

  Shane looked at him. “This your pig thief?”

  Mike snickered. “The only one left alive.”

  Shane looked at Robert and asked, “What’s your name?”

  “Robert.”

  “Well, Robert, you’ll get to know these guys real good over the next few days. Move over there on the end.” He pointed where he wanted him to stand and Sean secured him to the chain with the others. “Now that everyone is here, I’ll introduce you to your guards.” Shane pointe
d to two Guardsmen. “I would like you to meet Officer and Officer. You can also refer to them as Boss, Hoss or Jefe. But you will always speak to them with respect. Understand that if you dimwits get the idea to try and run off together, you will be shot. There will be no warning shots. There will be no shouted warnings. These men will lay out the boundaries you are to remain in; and if you venture even one foot over that line, you’ll be shot. Am I clear on this?”

  The men nodded. Robert looked around, “What about food. Are you going to feed us?”

  “You’ll get one meal at mid-day.”

  Dave leaned against the truck they were standing beside. “What if we have to take a shit?”

  “You’ll have to work that out between yourselves. But you never come off the chain. One of you gets sick or hurt, you carry him. You gotta take a piss, you do it on the chain. Hell, you wanna have a circle jerk, you do it on the chain.”

  One of the Guardsmen interrupted him. “A circle jerk will get you shot as well.”

  Mike laughed, “Hell yeah it will! You guys seem to have this under control. I gotta run.” Looking at the men on the chain, he wagged a finger at them. “You boys behave now.”

  Shane waved. “See you later.”

  Sheffield leaned back in his chair. “I don’t like it.”

  Sarge shook his head; he’d expected this. “What don’t you like about it?”

  Sheffield patted the table. “We’re going to lose people. There’ll be casualties.”

  “Probably a lot of them,” Livingston added.

  Sarge nodded. “There will be casualties, no doubt. But that’s the nature of the business. But with what we have, this is the best we can do.”

  “There’s got to be another way,” Sheffield said.