by Amy Sparling
“Let’s get to it then,” I say. I reach up and cup his face in my hands. Then I lean on my toes and let my body fall against his chest, my lips crashing into his. We kiss just enough to enjoy it but not enough to get too turned on. We’re at school, after all.
“Now I believe you had something to tell me,” I say with a coy grin.
“I am crazy about you,” he says, holding me tightly.
“The feeling is mutual,” I say, leaning against his chest. “Thanks for cheering me up.”
“That’s what boyfriends do.”
I look up at him. “Are you saying you’re my boyfriend?”
He gazes into my eyes. “Do you want me to be?”
I’m suddenly nervous, jittery, and feeling like I’m not good enough for all of this wonderful boy. I can’t find the words to say yes, so I nod.
He smiles and kisses me again. “We’re official now.”
“I like the sound of that,” I say, taking his hand and stepping back into the hallway. “Official.”
Someone calls my name. I don’t recognize the girl who rushes up to me, out of breath. “There you are,” she says, holding out a piece of paper. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”
I take the paper. It’s pink. It has the AP’s office checked at the top. All those happy feelings I’d had with Jonah just seconds ago vanish. They’re taken away, sliced in half with this piece of paper that’s making me go see that woman again.
I turn to Jonah. “Tell April I’ll probably miss lunch.”
He frowns and pulls me into a hug. “Good luck.”
Mrs. Reese doesn’t make me wait outside her office forever like she did last time. She ushers me right in, telling me to sit. She’s smiling and talking in a kind voice, so maybe she’s in a good mood. I’m still not very thrilled with being here.
There’s a picture on her desk of her and my ex step-dad, their faces leaning toward each other on a roller coaster ride.
“What can I do for you?” I say.
“Just wanted to have an update, Natalie.” Mrs. Reese beams at me and looks at her computer screen. “You now have four B’s, two A’s, and only one C on this report card. I am so very proud of you.”
“What can I say, the tutoring helped.”
Her smile shifts into one less convincing. “Natalie, I spoke with a few of your teachers this morning and they all said you seemed upset about something. Can I ask what’s bothering you?”
“It’s nothing school related,” I say, waving her off with my hand. “Just a little disappointed that my mom wants to sell the store.”
“Why would she do that?” Mrs. Reese says, her voice softening as if she’s talking about a friend instead of her husband’s ex-wife.
I shrug. “We’re not making enough money.”
She leans forward and takes a pen, then writes something on a small notepad. “You should talk to your dad,” she says, sliding the paper to me. It contains a phone number and an email address. “He could help you.”
“I’m not asking my mom’s ex-husband for money,” I say, shoving the paper back across her desk.
“Honey—” Frown lines form around her mouth and then she tries to smile at me. “Don’t think of him like that. Think of him as your adopted dad. He cares a lot about you, Natalie.”
“He doesn’t call me. He hasn’t emailed or written or seen me at all.”
“That’s because you told him not to.”
I flinch. “What? No I didn’t.”
Her eyes flicker with something unreadable, and then she frowns again. She slides the paper back to me. “Maybe you should reach out and let him know there’s been a misunderstanding.”
“Did my mom tell him I don’t want to see him?” I ask. My throat feels dry and I try to think of a world where Mom did that to me. Of course, she also lied to me about having major debt, so maybe she did this as well.
“I don’t have the answers, Natalie. But I do know your dad has a college fund set up for you. He has child support he wanted to pay but your mom wouldn’t accept.”
I swallow. “Are you serious?”
She nods slowly, pity all over her face. “He misses you.”
“I don’t want money from him.”
“That’s fine.” She pushes the paper closer to my hand. “Maybe just a phone call. I know he would be so happy to hear from you.”
Chapter 28
“Your mom looks better,” Jonah says.
“What?” I look up from my phone, where I’d been posting stuff to the store’s Facebook page. Jonah is driving me home and he should have no idea what my mom looks like since she’s at home, and in bed, I’d assume.
Then I see her sitting on the porch, a cup of coffee in her hand even though it’s eight in the evening. She’s dressed, which is unusual. When I left her this morning, she was in her bathrobe and looked ready to spend all day in bed. Now she’s wearing her nice jeans that only come out of the closet occasionally, and a pink top that’s been ironed since I last saw it. Her hair is brushed, maybe even curled at the tips. She waves at us as Jonah pulls into my driveway.
“Er,” I say, biting on my bottom lip as I look at my boyfriend. “Can you maybe just drop me off and leave? I’m sorry…I … I just don’t want to introduce you to her now.”
He chuckles and reaches over and squeezes my hand. “No problem, Nat. You don’t have to introduce me until you’re ready.”
“You’re such an amazing boyfriend,” I say, my face falling into a pout because I can’t kiss him, not with my mom watching. “Pretend I’m kissing you right now.”
He closes his eyes for a second. “Wow, chica. That was dirty.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “I didn’t know you liked to kiss that way…”
I punch him playfully in the arm and get out of his car.
“Hey…Mom,” I say as I walk up to the porch. I’m not sure if I should keep it casual or ask why the hell she’s dressed so nice when she couldn’t bother coming to work today. We could have used her help with all the extra customers.
“Sit down, honey.” Mom pats the dirty wooden step next to her. We should really power wash these porch steps one day. I sit, the smell of her coffee wafting in my direction. She takes a sip.
“Jack Brown has increased his offer to fifteen thousand dollars, plus I will have two weeks to remove and keep all of the inventory.”
My fingers tremble, so I shove them under my thighs and sit on them to keep still. “Okay…”
She gives me a soft smile. “That’s pretty much unheard of in business, Natalie. When someone buys a business, they’re buying the whole thing. So this offer…well it’s quite a bit more because we have at least ten, maybe fifteen thousand dollars of inventory.”
“So what would you do with it?” I ask, trying to play along until I find the right moment to tell her about our profits today.
“I’d sell it online. I think we could box it up and fit it all in the living room, maybe some of it in my room if there’s not enough space. I can spend a week or two listing everything for sale, and that will be my full time job until we’ve sold most of it. Jack will even let me keep the business name, so we can change our website and social media accounts to say that The Magpie is now an online store.”
I don’t even know what to think about this. I take a deep breath. “So that’s what you’d do? Run a business online?”
She shakes her head and takes a long sip of coffee. “Not exactly. You can’t make a good living like that. I’d just sell off the inventory to get the value of it. Maybe sell some stuff in a big lot at a discount. I don’t know… I just want to get the value of the items back. Then I’d have to get a job.”
Okay, Natalie. Be logical so she listens to you.
I clear my throat. “Mom…that is a good idea,” I say against everything in my heart screaming no it isn’t! “However…fifteen thousand dollars isn’t much to live on for very long and then you’d still have the pressure of finding a job…maybe we should give The Mag
pie a chance. It hasn’t even been thirty days yet and—”
“Natalie, I’m selling.” Mom’s lips flatten and she gives me one of her looks, the classic Mom look that says I better shut up or I’ll get in trouble.
“But…”
Her eyes widen. “No buts, Natalie. I am the adult and you’re still a child. I make the decisions, and I’m selling.”
I grit my teeth as fear rockets through me. I can’t lose this store. “Mom! Why? That shouldn’t be enough money to make you give up on your dream. This store is our life.”
“We’ll make another life,” she says, looking away just as I think I see a tear form in her eyes. “Don’t bother arguing. You don’t understand, but we need that money.”
“I do understand, Mom.” I stand up. “I saw your debt. I know about the payday loan.”
Mom’s eyes flash with anger and then she looks down at her feet. “Well then you know how badly I need this money,” she says so quietly I almost don’t hear her.
“Mom…” I sit back down, put a hand on her shoulder. “We made a lot of money at the store today. We have all of the local schools telling parents to come shop with us. We will keep working until we get that loan paid off.”
She shakes her head. “You can’t pay it off. You’d need a ton of money and we’ll never make that much at the store.”
“You can’t just give up, Mom!”
Now she stands. She grips the coffee mug so hard in her hand, it might shatter. “Yes. I. Can. I am the mother and I can do whenever I feel it’s best for our well-being.”
A tear rolls down her cheek and I wish I was smart enough to think of exactly the right words to change her mind. “Mom…We don’t have to sell the store. We can find a way to pay off the debt.”
“No we can’t,” she snaps. “We need over twenty thousand dollars to pay it off and we’ll never get that without selling. I’m sorry, but it’s over. I’m signing the papers next week.”
She storms into the house, the door slamming closed behind her. I rest my elbows on my knees and stare out at the front yard as tears slide down my face and splash onto the stairs below.
***
It’s late. Too late. I know this, and I should turn back around and pedal my bike back home. But here I am, riding through town just a little before midnight on a school night. Jonah said he lives on 4th Street, and that’s where I decided to go when I couldn’t sleep.
I feel like a stalker as I ride my bike slowly down the middle of the road, checking each house on both sides, looking for his car.
It doesn’t take long to find it parked at the end of a driveway. Jonah’s house is big. So big you could probably fit three of my own inside of it and still have room to live in. It’s two stories tall and red brick with white shutters. I park my bike behind his car and send him a text.
Me: are you awake?
Jonah: Yes, what’s up?
Me: I can’t sleep
Jonah: What did your mom say when you got home?
I still haven’t told him. Now I don’t think I can text it. Saying the words means admitting the truth; that I’ve failed myself, my mom, and the store.
I must take too long to reply because my phone starts ringing, and I hadn’t turned off the sound so it blasts this dark street with what feels like the loudest ring in the world. I quickly answer the phone.
“Hello?”
“Why are you whispering?” Jonah says.
My heart skips a beat as I realize how pathetic this is. I biked over to a guy’s house without being invited. He never even gave me his address. Way to be a weirdo, Natalie.
“Um…I don’t… I’m outside.”
“Outside? Is anyone with you?”
“Technically, no…”
“Natalie…what’s going on? Are you okay?”
I sigh. This is embarrassing, but I really want to see him. “I couldn’t sleep so I got on my bike and the next thing I know, I’m on 4th Street and—it was totally a coincidence—”
“Are you at my house?” To my relief, he doesn’t sound like he’s creeped out. If anything, he sounds excited.
“Sort of.”
A light turns on upstairs. I watch the curtains, waiting to see Jonah look out of them, but instead, I see a shadowy figure approaching from the side of the house a few moments later.
I hang up the phone as Jonah comes into view. He’s wearing black boxers with little dog bones on them and no shirt or shoes. My pulse quickens when he pulls me into a hug, wrapping his arms around me. His body is warm, his skin soft, and he smells like a fresh shower.
“Let’s get inside,” he whispers as he kisses the side of my head. “Then you can tell me everything.”
Jonah’s house smells really good, like a mixture of laundry detergent and vanilla candles. It’s dark, too dark to see much, so I let him hold my hand and lead me through his house to the stairs, which are covered in thick carpet that masks the sound of our footsteps.
He takes me to his room and closes and locks the door behind us. “Just so no one walks in here and sees a girl in my room,” he explains.
And then his arms are around me again, and I’m sliding my hands across his bare back, pressing my face against his chest. I breathe in deeply, feeling at peace for the first time all night.
Jonah takes me to his bed in the sweetest way. I’m not worried he’ll try to do something I’m not ready for. I feel safe here, laying in his arms.
While we lay on his bed, cuddled up in each other, I tell him about the store and my mom’s newest declaration that she’s selling it no matter what. And then, because I can’t help but want to tell Jonah everything about everything, I tell him about the assistant principal and her connection to my dad.
“You think your mom told him you don’t want to talk to him?” he asks.
I nod as I watch his fingers trace circles on my arm. “I never really got to talk to him after they split up. He was just gone. My mom acted like he left us, like he was just another deadbeat asshole like my biological father.”
“Did you ever try to talk to him?” Jonah asks.
I shake my head. “No.”
“Maybe you should.”
“I mean…” I exhale. “I’m fine without him. But sometimes I do miss him, you know? He was basically my dad, even though he wasn’t really related to me.”
“Well…” Jonah’s fingers slide under my chin and pull up slightly so he can kiss me. “You could send him an email. It’s less personal and not as difficult as meeting or talking on the phone. Then just see where it goes from there.”
I shake my head while I look into his eyes, my thoughts now on Jonah’s lips and not the idea of emails to a dad I haven’t seen in three years. “I don’t know,” I say. “It’s just so awkward.”
“Maybe think it over a few days.”
I nod, agreeing with him, and then when I can’t take it anymore, I slide my hand across his chest and lean over, kissing his neck.
His breath hitches, his hands sliding down to my hips. In a quick movement, I am pulled up from the bed, and now I’m on top of him, his hands gripping my hips, a smirk on his lips.
“That’s more like it,” he says, lifting his head off the pillow to kiss me.
I straddle him, resting my knees on the bed with my hands on either side of his head. I lean forward and kiss him, letting our mouths fall into the make out routine we’re so good at. I revel in the feel of his hands sliding under my shirt and up my back, then down again until they slide over my butt. He squeezes it, grinning against my kiss and then he rocks his hips against mine. It all feels amazing, but my heart is pounding so hard I’m sure the people across the street can hear it.
I lift up, breaking our kiss. “Jonah,” I breathe, wondering when it was that I lost my breath during this make out session. “I’m not sure how far I want to take things right now.”
“No rush, chica,” he whispers against my lips. “We have all the time in the world.”
Chapter 29
The next few days are a blur. I get up and go to school and try to pay attention. Jonah helps me with my homework everyday now, and not just on Tuesdays and Thursdays when the school forces him to. Without him, I’d definitely be falling behind on my grades again, but he keeps me focused.
I feel like I’m walking on eggshells at home. I keep waiting for Mom to say, “It’s done. I sold the store.” So far, she hasn’t said much of anything to me that doesn’t involve asking what I want for dinner. She sleeps in late, goes to the store late, and comes home at exactly closing time. I wish I could say I haven’t given up, but there’s nothing more for me to do. Even with our fundraising sales and all the online marketing in the world, I can’t come up with the twenty-three thousand dollars Mom needs to pay off her payday loan.
It’s been three days, and that sinking feeling hasn’t left my chest. I feel like I’m constantly on the verge of tears, but I hold them back. Jonah and April are being stellar friends and do everything they can to take my mind off it. I smile and joke with them at lunch and pretend like their efforts are working, but deep down inside, I’m dying.
I can’t stand the idea of a life without The Magpie. Even now that I’ll definitely graduate with at least B’s and maybe even some A’s, and with the scholarships Mrs. Reese has gotten for me, my future still feels up in the air. I don’t know what to do with myself if I’m not running a business. Jonah assures me I’ll figure it out with time, but I’m not so sure.
Mom seems more lost than ever, floating through the house at night like a ghost waiting to sign away their soul. I don’t know when the contract signing will happen and our store won’t be ours anymore, but I’m sure it’ll be soon.
On Thursday, Jonah and I do my homework and then I finish the last of the stack of extra credit papers. It feels like I’ve climbed Mount Everest when I finally get to drop the completed stack on the table. Nothing can ruin the pride I have over this accomplishment, not even the librarian’s annoyed glare at me for making a loud noise.