“What are you smiling about?” Mrs. Tyler’s question brought me back to the present.
“I was imagining having a nine month old baby at the table,” I said, somewhat sheepishly.
She laughed. “I’ve been doing that all day,” she said, “thinking, ‘Next year, he can lick the beaters,’ or, ‘I wonder if he’ll like pumpkin pie?’ I was even thinking we’ll have to buy a playpen so he can have a safe place to nap. We’ll put it in the spare bedroom off the kitchen so he won’t be too far away from us.”
“And a high chair,” I said. “We’ll have to get one. We haven’t really bought anything yet, because we wanted to be sure….” I didn’t finish the thought.
“None of that, now,” said Mrs. Tyler. “All that’s behind us.”
“I hope you’re right,” I said, glancing at Anna. “I don’t think she could take it happening again.”
Mrs. Tyler followed my gaze. “How’s she doing?” she asked, lowering her voice.
“I think she’s okay,” I said. “Cautious, but okay. We still haven’t gotten the nursery ready, but she did mention the other day that she was thinking about a jungle theme. She finally told her coworkers about the baby just yesterday. They want to plan a shower for her, of course, and she hasn’t said ‘no.’ I think she’s starting to let herself believe it’s actually going to work out.”
“Well, good,” she said. “But keep an eye on her, Phil.” She leaned closer. “I had some trouble myself, you know.”
This was news to me. “What do you mean?”
She leaned so close she was nearly whispering in my ear. “I had a miscarriage, too, before Anna. I was scared to death when I got pregnant with Anna, afraid it was going to happen again.”
“Does Anna know this? She’s never mentioned it.”
“I thought she did, but now that you ask, I can’t say I remember ever talking about it with her. It wasn’t something Mike and I brought up to people after it happened. We didn’t really discuss those things back then, you know.”
“It might help her to know,” I said, “if you don’t mind talking to her about it. At least she could see that things can still work out in the end.”
“I’ll talk to her before y’all leave today,” she said. “Now I feel bad I didn’t talk to her about it sooner. Somehow I just thought she knew, but I don’t reckon she does, does she?”
“I’m sure she doesn’t,” I said. “But was everything okay after that? Was Anna’s birth normal? Was she healthy?”
She nodded. “As easy as a birth can be, at least. Anna was a beautiful baby. She was never any trouble at all. I had a little touch of what they called the ‘baby blues,’ but that didn’t have anything to do with Anna, and I got through it soon enough. I was lucky to have my momma come and help me, and I’ll be there to help y’all, too. You and Anna will get sick and tired of having us there, won’t they Maria?” She leaned forward to get my mother’s attention.
“What’s that?”
“I said we’ll be there helping take care of this baby so much they’ll have to send us home, won’t they?”
“Oh, absolutely! I’m so excited I’ve already started buying clothes. Sears had a sale on the cutest little pajamas, and I just couldn’t help myself.”
Anna smiled at me as our mothers composed a list of must-haves for the baby. “We really have to get the nursery put together this weekend,” she said. “We’ve waited long enough. And his name is Jeffrey. Jeffrey Daniel Lewinsky.”
“Well, of course it is,” I said, and Anna leaned over to kiss my cheek.
Chapter 21: February 23, 2001
No matter how prepared a person might believe himself to be, no matter how organized, planned, and scheduled, the moment a woman announces she’s in labor, panic ensues. At least, that’s been my experience, and judging by the chaos that greeted us in the form of friends and family upon our arrival at the hospital, it seems to be the experience of others, as well.
The hospital paged Dr. Charles Gillespie, who was expecting us, and although it took him a mere fifteen minutes to arrive, I must have aged twenty years before I caught sight of him striding through the door. While he stopped to greet both my parents and Anna’s, I bit my lip and did my best not to bodily drag him to Anna’s side. Ordinarily, his laidback style put me at ease, but I wasn’t used to seeing Anna in pain, and every moment he dallied to speak with our parents felt like an eternity.
Greetings and small pleasantries finally done, he made his way to the end of the bed. “How’s Mom doing?” he asked, causing Anna to smile between contractions.
“I think I’m okay,” she said. “Ready to meet him, that’s for sure. I—” She stopped, overcome by a contraction.
“How far apart are the contractions?”
I answered, because Anna clearly couldn’t. “We left the house right after we talked with you, and by the time we got here they were about five minutes apart. But that was over an hour ago. It took forever for us to check in. I was starting to worry we’d be having our baby in the lobby.” I stroked Anna’s hair as she caught her breath.
“There isn’t any apart,” she said. “They don’t stop.” She gritted her teeth as another one hit.
“How dilated?” He turned to the nurse.
“About eight centimeters, fully effaced.”
Dr. Gillespie was visibly surprised. “Anna, you’re about to meet your baby, sooner rather than later. I’ll be back as soon as I’m scrubbed in.” He turned to go, his exit markedly faster than had been his entry.
“Well,” my dad said, “that’s our cue to leave. Good luck, honey.” He patted her on the leg while my mother kissed her cheek, and then mine. “We’ll be praying for you in the waiting room.”
“Hold up, Dan,” said Mr. Tyler. “We’re going with you. Just let me kiss my girl goodbye.” He waited for Mrs. Tyler to kiss Anna, then planted his own kiss on her head. “You tell ’em to come get me if you need me, you hear?” he said to me, and I nodded.
“Take good care of her, Phillip,” Mrs. Tyler said, hugging me around my waist. “And take care of you, too. Husbands weren’t allowed in when I had my babies. I’m glad you’re going to be with her.” She turned to Cathy. “Ready to go, honey?”
“Most definitely,” said Cathy. “This is not really something I want to witness.” She waved at Anna. “I’ll see you when you’re all done.”
It seemed as if things happened very quickly after that, though I later realized hours had passed. In the beginning, things appeared to progress smoothly. Anna was certainly experiencing pain, but as the nurse explained, she was too far into the process for an epidural by then. We focused on her breathing as we’d been taught to do in our birthing class, and that seemed to help. I stroked her hair, rubbed her back, and offered her ice chips.
I vaguely remember the nurse suggesting Anna walk around the room to speed along the process, and Anna did her best to comply. It was I who, walking with Anna and watching helplessly as one contraction after another wracked her body, led Anna back to the bed and told the nurse we would no longer be walking. It was difficult to witness Anna’s discomfort, but we had been prepared for what she would go through, to the extent any new parents can be; we knew the stages of delivery, and while it was terrifying in its way, the labor itself didn’t raise any red flags of alarm for either of us.
I felt the first prickling of apprehension shortly after Anna began pushing. I remember Dr. Gillespie frowning, calling the nurse over to consult, but all he said to us was, “He’s an active little guy, isn’t he? Looks like he changed position just as he started to enter the birth canal. I see little fingers, wedged there beside his head. He’s waving at us.”
Anna was trying to sit, and I crawled onto the bed behind her to support her. She was slick with sweat; the sheets were soaked. “What does that mean?” she asked. “Is the baby okay?”
Dr. Gillespie nodded towards the machine monitoring the baby’s heartbeat. “So far so good,” he said. “But i
t means you’ve got a little more pushing to do. If nothing changes, and it isn’t likely to at this point, the head and arm will emerge first. I’m going to give you a little injection here, Anna. I doubt you’ll even feel it, with all you’ve got going on. Then we’ll do an episiotomy, just a little incision to help accommodate the baby’s new position. Don’t push,” he warned, as Anna’s body began to bear down again. “Dad, help with her breathing.”
The nurse came around and took Anna’s hands. “You don’t want to push while the doctor makes the incision,” she said. “When you feel the urge to push, I want you to breathe like this,” she demonstrated a series of puffs. “Dad, help her with that, okay? Let’s try it.”
“All good,” said Dr. Gillespie as Anna and I wound up another session of puffing. “And his heartbeat looks strong. In a situation like this, there’s always the possibility he’ll need a little help joining us. If we see a change in heartbeat or if he’s stressed we’ll use forceps to help him along. I don’t want you to be alarmed if that happens. It looks much scarier than it is. I’m also going to have the nurse call for some extra help in case we need it. Jenna?” He turned to the nurse. “See if Dr. Wilmington is still here, would you? If he is, ask him to stick around. And give Dr. Lindsey a call, too.”
He turned back to us. “Dr. Wilmington is a neonatologist. He was here on a consult earlier, and it’d be nice to have him available. Dr. Lindsey is an orthopedic specialist. Given the positioning of the baby’s arm, I’d like Dr. Lindsey to look him over once he’s here, just to be safe.”
Dr. Gillespie’s command of the situation reassured us, and as the nurse began making calls, Anna was once again encouraged to push. We were certainly anxious, both of us, but I don’t think we knew enough to be truly afraid. We had complete trust in Dr. Gillespie and his colleagues, who began filing into the room shortly after the calls went out. They struck us as cautious but confident, clearly at ease and in control of the situation.
Sometime later—the parameters of time seemed elasticized that night—Dr. Gillespie called our attention to the machine that displayed our baby’s heartbeat. “His heartbeat has slowed some,” he said. “A little slowing is to be expected once the baby enters the birth canal, but I’m not comfortable with the current rate. I’m going to use forceps to help him along, so just relax, Anna. Phillip, help with her breathing. You’ll be meeting your baby soon.”
We did as Dr. Gillespie instructed. I breathed along with Anna, my mood balancing somewhere between excitement and fear, until my attention was arrested by his quick intake of breath.
“Jenna,” he said sharply, and the nurse rushed to his side. He spoke too quickly for me to understand what he said; the terms were unfamiliar. As soon as he finished speaking, the doctors who had gathered around the perimeter of the room jumped into action. The room was packed with people, some pushing machines, others pushing carts loaded with supplies.
I was still behind Anna at that time, holding her as she lay propped against my chest. I eased from behind her and scooted forward to try to see what was going on, and it was then that I saw what had previously been outside my line of vision. In the center of the flurry of doctors behind Dr. Gillespie lay Jeffrey—quiet, covered with blood, and utterly still.
Chapter 22: December 21, 2012—Trial Transcript
The Court: All right, we’re back on the record in the Lewinsky matter. Let the record show the jury is present. Mr. Lewinsky is present with his counsel, and the people are represented by Mr. Bradley Young. I’ll ask counsel for both sides, is there anything we need to discuss before Ms. Tyler continues her testimony?
Defense Attorney: No, Your Honor. Thank you.
Prosecutor: No, Your Honor.
The Court: Then Mr. Young, your witness was previously sworn in, and you may proceed.
Prosecutor: Thank you, Your Honor. Good afternoon, Ms. Tyler.
Cathy Tyler: Good afternoon.
Prosecutor: When we adjourned for lunch, you had just finished telling us about a couple of incidents in which the defendant made sexual advances towards you.
Defense Attorney: Objection. Leading, asked and answered.
The Court: Sustained.
Prosecutor: Ms. Tyler, have there been instances in which you witnessed the defendant behaving aggressively towards Anna?
Cathy Tyler: Yes. I was always afraid of him.
Defense Attorney: Objection!
The Court: Sustained. Ms. Tyler, just answer the question as it’s asked.
Prosecutor: When was the first time you witnessed Phillip Lewinsky acting aggressively towards Anna?
Cathy Tyler: On the day their first baby was born.
Prosecutor: Your sister had her first baby February 23, 2001, is that correct?
Cathy Tyler: Yes.
Prosecutor: And it was a boy.
Cathy Tyler: Yes.
Prosecutor: Can you tell us the child’s name?
Cathy Tyler: Jeffrey Daniel Lewinsky.
Prosecutor: Was it a difficult birth?
Defense Attorney: Objection. Calls for speculation. Was the witness in the delivery room?
The Court: Sustained.
Prosecutor: In what hospital was the baby born, Ms. Tyler?
Cathy Tyler: Baptist Memorial in Memphis.
Prosecutor: Okay, and to your knowledge, were there complications related to the baby’s birth?
Cathy Tyler: Yes.
Prosecutor: And on what do you base your answer?
Cathy Tyler: On the report given to me and my family when Jeffrey was born.
Prosecutor: Who gave you that report, Ms. Tyler?
Cathy Tyler: Dr. Charles Gillespie, Anna’s OBGYN.
Prosecutor: Was he present at the birth?
Cathy Tyler: Yes, he was.
Prosecutor: Were you present at the birth?
Cathy Tyler: I was in the waiting room with my parents and Mr. and Mrs. Lewinsky.
Prosecutor: Did the attending physician inform you of the baby’s birth?
Cathy Tyler: No, it was a nurse. We’d been waiting for hours by that time. She came out and told us the baby had been born, but there had been some complications. She said Phillip wanted us all there for the doctor to tell us what was wrong.
Prosecutor: So you went to your sister’s room?
Cathy Tyler: I did.
Prosecutor: And what did you find when you arrived in your sister’s room?
Cathy Tyler: My sister was out of it.
Prosecutor: Tell the Court what you mean by “out of it.”
Cathy Tyler: She was exhausted, sort of sleeping off and on, but alert some of the time. She was very pale, very weak. She was hooked up to some machines; I don’t know what they were.
Prosecutor: Who else was present in her room?
Cathy Tyler: Well, my parents and Phillip’s parents went with me to Anna’s room. When we got there Phillip was already there with Dr. Gillespie. And someone else, a nurse, I think, was there monitoring Anna.
Prosecutor: Where was the baby?
Cathy Tyler: I don’t know exactly where he was. He wasn’t in the room.
Prosecutor: So your sister, Anna, was “out of it,” as you say, and the baby had been removed from the room. What had happened?
Defense Attorney: Objection. Seriously, Bradley? The witness can’t possibly answer that in a credible manner. Not only was she not there, she’s not a medical expert. For heaven’s sake.
The Court: Sustained, Counsel, but I’m perfectly capable of making my ruling without an extended lecture from you. A simple “objection” will suffice. As for you, Mr. Young, I’m certain you know the correct procedure.
Prosecutor: Sorry, Your Honor. Ms. Tyler, did the attending physician, Dr. Gillespie, give a report once you’d entered the room?
Cathy Tyler: Yes. Phillip asked him to share the information with all of us.
Prosecutor: And what did Dr. Gillespie say?
Cathy Tyler: He said that Jeffrey was in distress when he was
born. He had been in sort of the wrong position, with his arm up by his head when he entered the birth canal. At first his heartbeat was fine, all the way up until…well, until right before he was born. Then it dropped, and Dr. Gillespie used forceps to help get him out. He said Jeffrey showed evidence of a stroke when he was born, because he wasn’t moving on one side.
Prosecutor: What was the defendant—Mr. Lewinsky—what was his reaction when the doctor finished speaking?
Cathy Tyler: He was sitting on the bed with Anna, up by her head, and he just…he balled up his fist and hit the wall right over her head. It scared me to death.
Defense Attorney: Objection. Your Honor….
The Court: Sustained. Ms. Tyler. Again, just answer the questions.
Cathy Tyler: I’m sorry, Judge.
Prosecutor: What did Anna do when Phillip hit the wall?
Cathy Tyler: She ducked her head and started crying. She was saying, “I’m sorry, Phillip. I’m sorry.” She thought he was mad at her, I guess, because she might have made the baby sick.
Blessed Are the Wholly Broken Page 8