“Now that we got that out of the way, I’m glad you answered the phone. Now I don’t have to wait until I see you to say what’s on my mind,” Helen said.
“What is it, Mrs. Stevenson?”
“Please, call me Helen. Anyway, I was looking at those pictures Micah sent me from his birthday, and I had a conversation with myself. I said, ‘Helen, that’s a nice girl there. She loves your son. She must really love him to go through all that trouble.Then I said, ‘Thanks to her, these are the only birthday pictures I have of my baby in the last twenty-four years. You need to thank her.That’s exactly what I was going to do when I get there. But since you answered his phone, I’ll do it now. Thank you for putting a smile on my baby’s face. He deserves that.”
Helen’s gratitude brought a wave of shame crashing down on Pamela after the way Pamela had judged her.
“You’re welcome, Ms. Helen.”
“Now I know I haven’t been much of a mother, but I still have the right to tell you not to mess over my son. Micah’s a good man. I don’t know how he turned out so good, because all he ever saw me do was act a fool. But that’s another story. Like I said, you better be good to my son, or else you’ll have to deal with me.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Micah limped through the patio door followed by Henry and Matthew.
Pamela walked over to Micah and hugged him, then made him sit down. “Ms. Helen, you’re right, Micah is a good man, and he deserves a good woman. He deserves me.”
Micah was more surprised that Pamela was speaking with his mother than by the words she used.
“Here he is now. It was nice talking to you, Ms. Helen.” Pamela handed Micah his phone, then kissed his cheek. Micah watched her walk into the kitchen, his face filled with apprehension about their relationship.
“Hello, Mother. This is a surprise,” he said after he positioned himself on the couch.
“Hi, baby. If you think my call is a surprise, wait until you hear what I have to tell you.”
“What is it?” Micah wasn’t used to her calling him baby, but thought he liked it.
“I’ll tell you in a minute, but first let me tell you something good. I haven’t had any Hennessy in fifty-eight days!”
“Wow, Mother, that’s wonderful,” Micah cheered.
“I haven’t had to recite the prayer in two days,” Helen said proudly. “I took those pictures you sent me to church, and honey, I showed them off!” Helen hollered. “I know Sister Murphy thought I was lying about having a son. You should’ve seen her face. She looked as ugly as her son. Then the pastor had the nerve to ask me for your information, talking about you’re a good-looking man, and he thinks you would make a good catch for his daughter. Humph, Homer Simpson may make a great catch for that hyena, but not my baby.” Micah laughed at his mother; he didn’t remember her being this funny when she was drunk. “I told him you were already taken. I even showed him the picture of the three of y’all together.”
“Mother, you are too much.”
“Wait until you hear this.” Helen’s voice turned serious. “I look at your pictures every day, and every day I see more of your father in you. Now that I’m sober, I can allow myself to think about him. I think about him a lot now. I miss my husband. You know, he’s the only man I ever loved. Otis Stevenson was a good man; a real good man.” Helen cleared her throat, then continued. “Anyway, I had a conversation with myself. I said, ‘Helen, why are you living here in Chicago all by yourself, when you have a fine son who loves you in California?’ Then I thought to myself, when Micah gets married I could be a grandmother and never get to see my grandbabies because I’m way out here.”
Micah held his breath wondering if his mother was about to say what he thought she was about to say.
“Then I told myself, I said, ‘Helen, you’ve missed enough of your son’s life. You need to move out to California and build a relationship with your son.”
“Mother, are you serious?”
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to live with you. I was talking to Robert this morning, and he told me I can live with him since it’s just him and Faye in that four bedroom house. I told him it was all right if he talks about God since I’m saved now, and I told him if he doesn’t hold service longer than two hours, I’ll join his church.”
Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and listened to the roar of Micah’s laughter. “Mother, I think you may have to look for another church.”
“We’ll see about that, but I really want to be close to you, if you don’t mind. I know I haven’t shown it to you because I didn’t show it to myself, but I really do love you, and I’m very proud of you.”
“I love you too, Mother,” Micah managed to say without getting choked up. “This sure is some surprise. When are you coming?”
“I’m leaving when my lease is up next month. That way, I can get my deposit back. You know me, I never turn down money. I’ve already started packing; even told my pastor I’m leaving.”
“Mother, in all the times you’ve mentioned your church, you’ve never told me the name of the church or your pastor’s name.”
“I’m sorry, baby, I thought I told you. The name of the church is Life Changing Ministries, and my pastor’s name is Reverend Richard Lewis.”
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Pamela had asked Micah that question at least five times since he hung up the phone from speaking with his mother hours ago. The only thing he would tell her is that they’d talk later.
Now that her parents were gone, she hoped he would talk before AC came to pick him up. AC was due two hours ago, but called to say he suddenly had dinner plans, but would be by as soon as he could. Pamela figured those sudden plans included Jessica, since she also phoned to say she wasn’t coming by. Matthew was upstairs asleep, and now that her desires were calm, she planned to spend some quality time with Micah.
Micah adjusted his position on the couch to allow space for Pamela to sit next to him. Miraculously, his foot felt better, and he hadn’t required any pain medication in over eight hours. As promised, earlier that afternoon, Pamela gently washed and massaged his foot, then rewrapped his bandages. She also treated him to a neck and shoulder massage that yielded moans of satisfaction.
Once she settled on the couch, he covered her hand with his. “Did you mean what you told my mother? Do really you believe that I deserve you?”
“Yes.” Pamela smiled. “And I deserve you.”
“Are you saying that you’re ready for our relationship to move forward to permanent status?”
“I’m saying that I’m ready to resume our relationship.” Pamela wanted to say she was ready to be his wife, but as much as she loved him, she couldn’t say that just yet.
“I’ll take that, for now.” He half grinned. “Is it all right if I put my arm around you?”
Pamela leaned into him and rested her head against his chest. Micah squeezed her lightly and brushed her hair with his free hand.
“Micah,” she whispered, “what’s really bothering you?”
Micah stopped his soft strokes and sighed. “Today, my mother told me the name of the church she attends and the name of her pastor.” Micah paused. “She attends Richard’s church. Richard Lewis is her pastor.”
Pamela moved from Micah’s embrace and sat straight up. “What?”
Micah shook his head from side to side. “All this time she’s been attending Richard’s church, and I didn’t know it.”
Pamela didn’t understand. “Why would your mother want to attend his church after the relationship he had with you? Why would she trust him as her pastor?”
“My mother doesn’t know about our relationship. She doesn’t even know that I know Richard.” Micah threw his hands into the air. “And I can’t tell her now.”
“Why not? She has the right to know what type of man she’s sitting under,” Pamela insisted. “She needs to know the man who’s supposed to watch over her soul needs someone to watch over his.”
&
nbsp; “I agree, but my mother has been trying to live a saved life for less than two months. If I tell her that her pastor is a bisexual who slept with her son for six years, it will devastate her. She might give up and start drinking again.”
Pamela wasn’t convinced. “What if he tells her? Did you think about that? Don’t you think she should hear it from you?”
“Richard’s not going to tell her. If he were, he wouldn’t have tried to get my contact information by lying about wanting to fix me up with his daughter,” Micah reasoned.
Pamela jumped to her feet. “Richard wants to get in touch with you? If they never met, how does he know Helen is your mother?”
“My mother showed the pictures from my birthday party to him. If he were going to tell her, he would have told her then. But as always, Reverend Lewis chose the back door.” It wasn’t until he saw the disgust on Pamela’s face that Micah realized he’d used a bad choice of words. “What I mean is Richard was trying to manipulate my mother.”
Pamela softened her expression. “I know what you meant, but don’t you think that’s more of a reason to tell her? He’ll probably try again.”
“If she were staying in Chicago, I would, but she’ll be here in a less than a month. I don’t want to disrupt her new life. For the first time in almost twenty-five years, my mother feels good about life and about herself. Strange as this may sound, Richard is responsible for some of the changes she’s made in her life. Despite what he does behind closed doors, whatever he’s saying from the pulpit is helping my mother turn her life around.”
“That’s what I don’t understand. Pamela shook her head and sat back down next to him. “How can he think that it’s okay to sleep with men and still preach the Word of God every Sunday, and how are the people blessed?”
“That was confusing to me also,” Micah admitted. “Richard is a very gifted preacher. He knows how to make words that were written thousands of years ago sound like they were designed just for you today. People joined the church just about every Sunday. Richard would say, ‘If God wasn’t pleased with me, He would not continue to add to the church. What I had to learn was the Word of God is powerful no matter who’s preaching it. It’s not the messenger that saves people and changes their lives; it’s the Word of God itself. And no matter how Richard justifies it, homosexuality is wrong.”
Micah watched her slowly withdrawing from him. Pamela remained in the same spot, but her thoughts were someplace else. He attempted to pull her closer to him, but she resisted.
“I don’t want to see him, nor do I want to talk with Richard.” Micah assumed her thoughts. “If I wanted Richard, I would have called him a long time ago. You don’t have to worry about me going back to him. If Richard walked in here right now, I would still sit here with you.”
“Are you sure?” She looked deep into his eyes and tried to read his soul.
“Positive.” He reached for her again, and this time she didn’t resist. “Richard is my past. You’re my future,” he assured her.
“Okay,” Pamela whispered, and then leaned back against his chest.
He stroked her hair once again and wondered how many more times he would have to reassure her before she would believe him.
Chapter 19
Without knocking, Jessica floated into Pamela’s office and plopped in a chair. “How’s my godson?”
Pamela pressed the last Post-it onto the document before she answered her extraperky friend. “He slept in my bed last night, but this morning he was fine. When I called to check on him, he and Micah were surfing the net for summer day camps.”
Jessica picked up the framed picture of Matthew that Pamela kept on her desk. “When is his first counseling appointment ?”
Pamela was glad her friend didn’t decipher from her previous statement that she’d left Matthew with Micah. Jessica would never tire of singing, I told you so.’ It made sense since he was off from work for his foot, and she wanted to keep Matthew home for a few days.
“Tomorrow,” Pamela answered.
Jessica replaced the frame. After interlocking her fingers on Pamela’s desk she asked, “How are you doing, really?”
Pamela propped her elbows on her desk and rested her face in the palm of her right hand. “I’m so angry at myself for putting my baby in contact with that crazy man. I can’t believe I did that.”
“Why do you think you did it?” Jessica asked in a way that let Pamela know it didn’t matter what answer she gave, her friend was going to tell her the real reason. “Did you honestly believe Micah was going to violate Matthew?”
Pamela leaned back in her chair. “No,” she admitted. “I just wanted to make sure Matthew didn’t receive a repeat of the mistreatment he’d received from his worthless father. I felt like the biggest fool while I listened to the officer sing Micah’s praises for teaching my son how to deal with sexual predators. And an even bigger fool for passing judgment on Micah’s mother.”
“I told you once before that you’re judgmental and self-righteous,” Jessica said after Pamela explained how Helen neglected Micah.
“I didn’t agree before, but you may be on to something.” Pamela still wasn’t ready to take full ownership of that assessment.
“Do you want to know what else I’m on to, aside from knowing that you dropped Matthew off at Micah’s this morning?” Jessica smiled mischievously. “I did catch that.”
“I caught one of your secrets too,” Pamela smiled.
Jessica dismissed Pamela with a wave of her hand. “So what? I had dinner with Anthony Combs on yesterday and talked to him this morning. We’re talking about you right now.”
“What about me?” Pamela rolled her eyes at her best friend. She detested the way Jessica always managed to keep her at the center of conversation.
“I want you to seriously think about this before you answer.” Jessica waited for Pamela to nod her head in consent. “Pam, why do you think it’s so easy for you to compare Micah to Marlon?”
Pamela thought long and hard before coming up with an answer. “I guess because Marlon was my first. He was the first man I gave my heart and my body to. Ours was the first real relationship I experienced.” Pamela frowned. “Actually, that is the only experience I have. That being the case, it’s only normal that I compare Micah to him.”
Jessica reached across the desk and took Pamela’s hand. “Pam, all of that may be true, but the truth is, you haven’t forgiven Marlon for all the pain he caused you. You haven’t forgiven him for manipulating your virginity from you, and then marrying you when he knew he wasn’t ready to be faithful.” Pamela tried to pull her hand back, but Jessica tightened her grip. “You haven’t forgiven him for taking advantage of your love.”
Pamela shook her head in disagreement. “What are you talking about? Marlon has been dead for five years, and I’ve moved on.”
“No, you haven’t.” Jessica’s voice was filled with compassion. “Five years ago, you buried the pain deep down inside and focused on making a life for yourself and Matthew. But you never acknowledged the hurt or the scars Marlon left on your heart. That’s why in the beginning you denied your feelings for Micah. You were afraid he would hurt you the way Marlon had. It’s hard for you to trust Micah because Marlon abused your trust. It’s hard for you to believe Micah won’t revert to his old lifestyle because Marlon always reverted back to his.”
Pamela yanked her hand back. No matter how soft Jessica had spoken those words, they cut like a knife and burned her like fire. “Jess, I don’t think that’s the case.”
“Then why do you always compare Micah to Marlon?” Jessica persisted.
Pamela couldn’t answer. It just came natural to her, perhaps because their names started with the same letter. It was a lame excuse, but that’s all she had.
Jessica checked her watch. “I have an eleven o’clock signing.” She stood to her feet. “Pam, just think about it. Once you forgive Marlon, you’ll be able to move forward with your life and in your relationshi
p with Micah.”
“Marlon is dead, what difference does it make now if I forgive him? I’m not saying that I haven’t, but he’s gone. He can’t right his wrongs now.”
“No, he can’t, but you can release the hold he has on you,” Jessica responded, and then left her alone.
Pamela pondered Jessica’s words all day long. She still didn’t agree, at least not completely, but her words did have some validity. Marlon had left her with deep wounds. It was those wounds that made her join the church after his death. When she got saved, she believed Jesus took all the hurt away. In any case, she wasn’t ready to revisit the darkness her late husband had not only taken her to, but left her there, alone and battered.
“I’m not going there,” she mumbled as the image of Marlon in bed with one of their neighbors flashed before her. She pushed the picture from her mind and dove deep into her work. Marlon was her past, and she was determined not to let him into her present.
Chapter 20
Helen shook her head as she struggled to keep from laughing out loud. Watching Sister Murphy maneuver to squeeze her hips into the little space on the end of the pew was hilarious. Lula Murphy’s backside reminded her of those trucks with the black and yellow WIDE LOAD signs. Big hips and all, Lula had proven to be a good friend to Helen in the past seventy-nine days. Helen had called her many times when she felt like reuniting with her old friend, Mr. Hennessy. Lula would pray hard until Helen felt strong again and encouraged her to fight on.
“Sister Stevenson, today is your big day!” Lula exclaimed after she settled and caught her breath.
“Yes, Lord.” Helen’s smile showed all of her remaining teeth. “I can’t wait to see my baby. It’ll be nice to see my brother and his wife, but what I really want is to hold my son. Just three days, and I’ll be with my baby.” Helen raised both hands in the air. “I am so thankful to God for giving me another chance with my baby. I just know he’s going to marry that Pamela. I’m going to have me a real family!” Helen was so excited she didn’t bother to wipe the tears that trickled down her cheeks.
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