Their lips made harder contact as the kiss deepened. His taste, sweet and wild, engulfed her senses and called up a low moan in her throat. She clutched onto him, opening her mouth and hearing a soft groan as his tongue darted in. She angled her head, deepening still until she was utterly lost in his touch. In his kiss.
“Ew!” Otis squealed behind them.
Greg’s hands disappeared from around Christie and gently touched down on her cheeks. His thumb stroked her skin as he backed off, his lips lightening their contact. His face moved away a little more, only inches from her. He paused, then bent again, reestablishing a playful kind of contact.
Experienced and delicious, he knew his way around a kiss, and oh wow, he executed it to perfection. With her eyes squeezed tight and never wanting this to end, Christie soaked in the fire and bathed in his strength. She’d never felt this balanced, not even at home. She’d never felt this grounded. Or protected.
She nibbled softly as one of her palms slid down his chest and over his pec. Back up, she felt her way to his muscular shoulder, feeling his tongue slide across her bottom lip.
“Are you guys done yet?” Otis asked.
Greg’s lips moved over hers into a smile. “I don’t want to back away,” he said softly, his lips still touching hers.
“Me, either,” she whispered.
His eyes roamed her face as he straightened up, desire raging in his beautiful, dusty green eyes. His hands were still on her. His body so large and strong, easily able to dominate.
A shock of fear coursed through her. Steeling all her strength, she inched her hands back to his body and onto his warmth. Her limbs shook. Her body trembled.
“What happened?” Greg asked, dropping his hands.
She hung onto him like a rock climber dangling from a cliff face. “No! It’s fine. I’m fine.”
Gritting her teeth and fighting the need to run, she clamped down on every instinct. She fought it. Greg wasn’t like the last one. And this was her decision. No peer pressure entered into this. No parental pressure. It was on her time. She was in control.
Why won’t my body believe my head? she thought desperately.
“I’m sorry…” Tears sprung up. She blinked rapidly, but one dripped down her cheek. Slapping it away, she shrugged and clenched her fists, willing herself to calm down. “I’m sorry. I’m ruining this. If I could just run around a little, I will totally smooth out.”
“Smooth out?” Greg’s long lashes blinked. His brow was scrunched up in confusion.
“Mr. Greg, can I get off?” Otis asked in a slight whine.
“Yeah, you know. Make this less…” Christie shook her fists. “Awful. Awkward, I meant. Awkward. I’m making this awkward, I know. It’s just—I’m a mess.” She aggressively puffed out a breath. “Sorry.”
“No, Otis. We’re going.” Greg backed away from Christie and raised his hands like she was pointing a gun at him. Instead, she was just pointing her crazy, and that was potentially more dangerous. “It’s okay. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“No. Greg, trust me.” She stepped forward with jerky movements, her body stiff from fighting the flight reflex. “This—” She indicated herself. “Is not you. None of this is you. This is all me. I was acting like a dick yesterday, and I know that. It was fear. That’s not how I really feel. This is a terrible apology, but please…” She didn’t even know what she was begging for. She just wanted this to be different. She didn’t want to ruin this.
“It’s okay, Christie. I get it, okay? Don’t stress.” His nonchalance struck her heart like rapid fire. Pain sunk into her chest and ate away her middle. “Do you want to walk back?”
Defeat dragged down her limbs and wiped away all her energy. Greg was finally getting the picture, and now he would run just like she’d been trying to do. She’d let him get close, but she just couldn’t let him in all the way. It would cost her someone that there weren’t two of in the whole world.
She looked at her horse with uncaring eyes. It was on the path again, but eyeing her warily. Or maybe that was just her imagination. “I’ll ride her if she’ll take me.”
“Here.” Greg’s gentle touch on her arm made her flinch away before she stilled herself again. Freezing, she closed her eyes and counted to five. Starting again, she tried to conjure up a smile.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“I’ll help you on,” he said softly.
“You don’t need to treat me like I have a bomb strapped to my chest. Honest. I always bounce back. I just need to move around a little. Need to get my head on straight, you know?”
“Sure, no problem.” Greg grabbed her horse’s lead, and brought the animal closer. He stepped beside and held out a hand.
“Have you had your rabies shot?” she asked sarcastically. “Because if so, you don’t have to worry about my bite. Worst-case scenario is that it’ll fester. They have antibiotics for that.”
Christie side-stepped his hand and hauled herself into the saddle. A few parts that had been battered with rocks on the fall protested, but she ignored it—a much easier feat than ignoring the pain inside. She’d apologized, though. She’d explained. At least there was that.
Strapping on a positive outlook, she asked Otis, “What’s your favorite song?”
“Mine?” he asked.
“What had you pointed out, Otis?” Greg cut in.
“Oh yeah! Look at that rock. It’s shiny.” Otis pointed at the ground.
Greg followed his point and then bent, picking up something. “Just a rock. But look at this—” Greg took out a dollar. “Candy money. If you get through the ride, we’ll pick out a big ol’ candy bar for you.”
A smile lit up Otis’s face. “Really?” he gingerly reached for the bill.
“Ah—not until we make it through.” With a smile, Greg threw a look back at Christie’s horse and then mounted his own. “Okay, let’s get going. It’s getting late.”
The way back was quiet as far as Greg and herself were concerned, and non-stop talking from what Christie learned was a four year old, who was almost five. He babbled about the colors of the horses, the sizes, the type of weeds on the ground—which he didn’t know—and his favorite type of drink. Dinosaurs were next, followed by the types of spiders he wasn’t afraid of, but his mom was.
When they got back to the stables, Christie wasn’t even sure what the subject was, just that Otis had moved on from earthworms.
“All right, partner, here we are.” Greg tied up his horse and then lifted Otis from his.
Christie watched for a second as Greg dusted the boy off and then handed him a faded and floppy dollar bill.
“Couldn’t give him a new one, huh?” Christie asked as she swung her leg over her mount.
Jake walked up, his blue eyes, beautiful like a glacier, surveying the horses and the riders. His gaze roved over Christie, pausing on the stickers and dirt that still clung to her. Beautiful turned severe, now more like an iceberg ready to take on the Titanic. He looked at Greg.
“Not his fault. I jumped off.” Christie held up her hands in surrender. “The horse stumbled, I think—I’m not really sure to be honest—but I’m pretty sure I flung myself off. It all happened really fast. I probably could’ve just held on.” She grimaced comically.
“She’ll probably have some bruises, but she’ll be okay.” Greg took her horse’s lead. “Got right back on, though. Not an ounce of fear.”
He must’ve been remembering a different event.
“On that note, I gotta bust some heads,” she said. “You gonna be there tonight? At my big debut as chef extraordinaire?”
Greg’s grin dwindled. His eyes turned wary. “I’m not sure.”
.Christie held her smile in check by sheer will. “Cool. No problem. Well, see ya when I see ya.”
“Sure, yeah.”
“It was really fun, Otis.” Fighting back tears and a growing hollowness, she bent to shake Otis’ hand.
“Bye Miss Christie. Next time I�
�ll help you stay on your horse.”
“Sounds good. I need all the help I can get.” She gave him a big shake and then waved at Jake. She turned with swinging hands and merrily walked away, pulling off unaffected and happy go lucky like a boss. Dealing with the hopelessness would have to wait for another day.
Greg leaned his forearms against the horizontal wood frame next to his horse, and watched Christie walk away. The look he had seen in her eyes after their kiss had turned his stomach. She’d been afraid of him. She’d even flinched, as if he’d hit her.
He patted the neck of his horse and let his hand trail around the rump as he walked behind. Jake was standing near Otis, staring his way.
“What do you need?” Greg asked in defeat, glancing back.
“She’s almost—”
“Stop.” Greg held up his hand. “No more. I can’t take anymore. Thanks anyway.”
Greg punched the barn door as he went through, making his fist throb. Noah met him in there a few minutes later, his cowboy hat pushed back on his head and his face sweaty.
“The number of stupid questions…” Noah took a slug of water before dousing his face. He sagged against the wall. “There was this know-it-all guy who was trying to show off for his girlfriend. He kept taking off his damn stirrup.”
“Why?” Greg wrapped rope from his elbow to his hand, making it easier to roll up.
“He’s an idiot, I guess. How the hell should I know? He was too dumb to see that his girlfriend was not impressed. Pretty, too. She gave me a smile or two.”
“I don’t advise acting on it…”
Noah gave him a flat look. “I’m not trying to lose my job, bro. Anyway, how was yours?”
“Just a kid and Christie. Christie fell off her horse.”
“What?” Noah straightened up, alarm across his face. “Is she okay? What happened?”
“She’s fine.” Greg couldn’t help a chuckle. “She thought she saw a snake. I think the horse lost her footing, and Christie got it into her head that she’d get bucked off, or some damn thing. Next thing, she’s flying off perfectly horizontal. She belly flopped on some prickly weeds and rocks, so I doubt she’ll feel all that great tonight, but no broken bones.”
“She get back on?”
“Without a second thought.”
“Shit.” Noah wiped his forehead with his arm. “You freak out?”
“I reacted quickly, if that’s what you mean. I haven’t had someone fall off a horse in…I don’t know how long. Certainly not like that.”
“It wasn’t what I meant, but…weird. She must’ve been jumpy for some reason.”
Greg didn’t comment. He was in no hurry to share what was going on between them. It was nobody’s business, and he suspected Christie was going through some things right now that she didn’t want advertised. He didn’t blame her. He guessed she had some dark things in her closet.
“I asked her out.”
Greg stiffened, those words out of Noah’s mouth the last thing he wanted to hear right now. He could barely breathe, waiting for what came next.
“She turned me down.” Noah sniffed then chuckled. “I don’t think she’s ever agreed to go out with anyone. I was talking to some of the guys—licking my wounds, I’ll admit it. I think just about everyone has asked her out at one stage or the next. One year Denny heard she was into him, and the next, after he and his girlfriend split, she shrugged him off. Real cool about it, though. Not stuck up, or anything. Everyone still likes her even though she has kicked us all in the balls, one by one. That’s talent.”
Greg put the rope on the hook and crossed to the feedbags. Noah’s feet sounded behind him, coming to help.
“Think it’s because we all work together?” Noah asked.
“Doubt it. She turned me down all winter. We saw each other every few days, didn’t work together, and she wasn’t into it.”
Noah filled one of the trays. “She’s hot. And smart. Sure would be nice to land her. My mom would be over the moon.”
“Your mom?”
“Yeah.” Noah worked on the next tray. “She’s always on at me about how I need to find a nice girl and settle down, yada, yada, yada. Yet when I bring someone home, she hates her.”
“What makes you think Christie would stand up to scrutiny?”
Noah gave him a funny look. “You alright, bro?”
“Yeah. Why?”
Noah stared at him for a second, his expression unreadable, before he went back to his chore. “I heard the new girl is into you.”
Greg tightened up again, thinking about the decision he needed to make about Paige. Thinking about what was on the table.
“You going to take that job?” Noah asked in an offhanded way.
“Christie tell you?”
“No. Pete.”
Greg hung bridle on the wall, the heavy thunk against wood loud against the silence. “Assistant to the ranch manager on a huge ranch. It dwarfs this place.”
“How many assistant managers they got?”
Greg blew wind up his face and lifted his brow. “I’d be number five, I think.”
“All of them with seniority over you.”
“All of them making three times what I do here. I talked to her dad this morning. He offered me the job.”
Noah whistled. “That’s a good haul. Good experience, too. You’ve gone about as far as you can go here. Jake isn’t going to step down. You’ll get a few more raises, right?”
“Yeah, but at the highest income here, it still wouldn’t match the starting salary there.” Greg muscled a bale of hay out of the way and thought about punching the wall. His palm was flat when he made contact, leaning in a coiled sort of way. “Paige is sure she can get me that ranch manager position in time.”
“Through her daddy?”
“Didn’t say.”
“I don’t care how much a father loves his daughter, he’s not going to jeopardize his livelihood on a whim.”
“You saying I’m a whim?” Greg said with a low, rough voice filled with warning.
Surprisingly, Noah said, “Yeah. I do. Could be wrong, but I’d be careful there.”
Greg made a fist and smashed it against the wall, not able to help himself. “That job would set me up. It’s everything I’ve been working toward. Even if she didn’t get me the manager position, I would learn a lot. I could get it on my own, or leverage the job I had and move on somewhere else. It’s the dream. She is offering me my dream.”
Noah was silent for a long time. Horses stomped outside, waiting for their super. Plastic slid against the ground as Noah finished the last tray before standing up.
“She’s offering you money and experience on a bigger ranch. Let’s not confuse that with a dream.”
Greg finally turned, incredulous. “You saying there’s a difference?”
“You are so close, you can taste it. I get that.” Noah stepped right in front of Greg, his voice low and easy. “You’ll make a bundle, you’ll be on top of an army of guys…but at what cost? You’ll learn about a bigger ranch, sure. But you’ve always wanted to run your own ranch, right? Wanted a smaller gig?”
Greg clenched his jaw, not wanting to admit the truth of Noah’s question. If he went Paige’s way, he could live as close to luxury as he’d ever been. He would be able to afford the nice things in life while still doing the job he loved. If he stayed, he’d have to struggle. To save. To watch his pennies and look for that next paycheck. Running a small ranch would be harder, if anything, and less of a guarantee financially. Staying, he’d constantly be struggling.
He was tired of struggling.
“Look,” Noah said, throwing his hand up to signal the end of his interference. “I come from a middle-class background. I have what I need, including a college education and a job waiting for me in my dad’s office. But here I am, slaving away under you, because I love this work. I love this ranch. I love that I know everyone, that we all work as a family, and that I get to work with the animals. I l
ove my life, man, and money didn’t buy that. I’m broke right now, but you know, fuck it. I’ve got money for beer, I get laid plenty, and I’m doing fine.”
Greg spit out a laugh, but then seriousness came too quickly and stole the moment. “What happens when you want to have a family?”
Noah bent over to grab a feed tray. “I take your job. Easy. You got plenty to get by, bro. You won’t have everything, no, but if you have a good wife and some fat babies, you’ll feel rich as a king. Trust me. I know things.”
“Who are you, trying to be wise at twenty-four?” Greg snatched up a feed tray as he was heading out.
“I watch Lifetime. It has brain washed me.”
They set the trays down for the horses, and adjusted the ropes that needed it .
“You’re forgetting something, too,” Noah said.
“Oh yeah?” Greg took off his cowboy hat so he could run his fingers through his hair and wipe the perspiration from his forehead before putting it back on. “What’s that?”
“You’re learning from the best horse wrangler in the state. Maybe the country. He was headhunted by all the big ranches. They were practically throwing money at him. Where did he end up? And I bet he doesn’t regret it one minute. You ask.” Noah threw a stone out of the way, reminding Greg of Christie when she was trying to work away her inner turmoil. “Some women need a lot, and some just need love. That sounds corny as shit—don’t tell anybody I said it—but it’s true. So maybe you shouldn’t be after bigger, maybe you should be after someone who doesn’t care about all that crap, and just wants to be happy with a small ranch and a fat family.”
“You should sit on soap box in town with a toilet seat around your neck and call yourself the oracle. Noah the almighty. You even have the right name for it. They’d feed you cheesy puffs to hear your advice.”
Noah laughed and staggered comically, any sort of seriousness evaporating with the fatigue after a long day. “Why the toilet seat?”
“Think about it.” Greg walked off, leaving the clean up to Noah.
Conquering Love Page 12