I lifted my head in semi-vindication. I hadn’t heard much that buzzed around me, but I sure as Sunday heard that. “I told you all I hadn’t had sex with anyone!”
The questions fired at warp speed toward Doctor Henderson, who had no medical expertise to explain himself with, other than the conflicting facts no one could reconcile. Twenty minutes of that later, and Doctor Henderson bowed out, leaving the mansion with a fistful of cash and a serious questioning of the science behind the basics.
“How did this… How?”
Ezra’s eyes were earnest and sincere. “I don’t know. But I do know this is a good thing. A baby is a wonderful blessing. Don’t lose sight of that.”
I knew I was about six inches away from falling apart, and I didn’t want to do that in public. “I want to go home.”
“Then I’ll take you.” Ezra was unyielding, and I was too turned around to form a proper argument. “We think we killed all the Topside Manas and Ekeks, but we can’t be sure, since we don’t know how they got here in the first place. Your home’s reinforced with warding charms, but I won’t gamble losing you again.” His voice lowered to a darker note. “Serena’s dead, but we didn’t get the chance to kill her. We found her body, tortured and carved up days after Finn took you to Dagat. We can’t be sure it’s not another turf war from yet more disgruntled Ekeks or Manas, vying for the throne.”
I consented to whatever would get me out of there fastest, not sure where my keys were, my car or even my shoes. Mariang kissed me, congratulated me, hugged me and helped me put one foot in front of the other until I got to the opened front door. I looked up and saw Ezra walking to his car, with Mason behind me, giving me a reassuring smile.
“Von?” I called, my voice shaky. “Where’s Von?”
Mariang and Mason exchanged worried looks before Mariang glossed over it with a vague, “He stepped out.”
I knew what that meant. My dad had stepped out on Bev the night she’d gotten pregnant with me. I’d singlehandedly ruined everything for Bev. And now I’d ruined my non-relationship without lifting a finger. The dysfunctional family that somehow managed to work when I needed it most had fallen apart, with me as the catalyst for the break. “Von left me?” I whispered, unable to put anything else in my life in proper order except for that.
Mason’s hand on my shoulder steadied me. “We’re here, hani. Von’s overwhelmed by it all. He’ll come back. He always does.”
That was the tipping point for it to all become too much. My knees buckled as the weight of just plain too much crashed down on me, pressing me toward the ground as I fought to stay conscious.
Mason caught me before I hit the floor, calling for Lynna to bring me some water. Of all people, Danny came along on my other side, letting me lean on him when I couldn’t hold myself upright. “It’ll be okay,” he assured me, sounding nothing like himself. If shock made me nearly faint, it made Danny spontaneously nice. It was a pretty solid tradeoff, overall. “Come, now. Let’s get you some tea, yeah?” Mason and Danny slowly led me back into the living room and lowered me to the couch. Danny slid a white leather ottoman under my feet while Mariang tucked a throw pillow behind my back. Danny gently took my shoes off, and I was so confused by the kindness, I temporarily forgot about my impromptu baby. “What?” he asked of my gaping.
“You’re being nice to me.”
“Who wouldn’t be nice to you right now? You’re a knocked-up virgin whose boyfriend just ran off the second he found out about the baby.”
Mariang closed her eyes as if Danny’s ignorance pained her. “Danny, please. Be sensitive.”
“Oh, sorry. Was that not right?” Danny sat straighter. His monster of Frankenstein eyebrows pushed together as he tried to remember the steps he’d seen modeled around him of how to be a decent person. “How about food? I’m good with food. Do you want something to eat?”
I shook my head, my eyes tearing up. “I just want to be alone so I can figure this out. How?” I asked Danny. He was sitting on the edge of the ottoman directly in front of me, so he caught the brunt of my questions. “How am I pregnant? And with who? The only time I medium had sex was when Von and I first had that hallucination. We had sex in our minds, but that’s not real.”
Mariang’s eyes widened. “Oh! Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh.” She covered her mouth as she stood, pacing the living room as Ezra came back inside.
“What?” Mason asked, sitting down on the couch next to me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and gave me a decent pull, which to be honest, was a drop in the bucket for what I needed.
“Danny, remember that time when we were rock climbing in our dreams, and you woke up with a scrape on your knee in the exact spot from when you slipped on the mountain?”
My eyes flew from Mariang to Danny, who shrugged. “Yeah. So?”
“And the time we were dreamwalking and I ate shellfish?” She turned to explain to me, “I’m allergic to shellfish. I woke up covered in hives.”
Danny nodded, but it was too many details for my crowded brain to keep track of. It was Mason who jumped up off the couch, hand over his mouth as he locked eyes with Mariang. “You’re not saying the baby’s Von’s, is it? Is that even possible?”
Danny grimaced. “No. I mean, those were such small things. And I could’ve been sleepwalking and banged my knee that way.”
Mariang gesticulated wildly, looking a little like me when I got worked up. “Really? You think I ate a truckload of shellfish in my sleep? Lynna doesn’t even keep them in the house.”
“Then how come you and I’ve never gotten pregnant? We’ve had sex in our dreams loads of times.” The second the words were out of his mouth, he ducked like a turtle trying to hide in his shell, not meaning to have blurted out those words in front of his girlfriend’s father. “I’m sorry. That was out of line.”
Ezra pinched the bridge of his nose. “Continue.”
Mariang pulled her hair back. “I’m on the pill. I’m guessing October’s not?”
I shook my head, my chin trembling. “Why would I need to be?” Tears that had been held at bay now let loose and trickled down my cheeks. “I didn’t know we would hallucinate. I’d never done that before. I thought it was just a really, really good kiss. This is what I get for having fake sex? This sucks!” I waved the group away when my tears invoked pity from them. I didn’t want pity. I wanted to cry in private, let my brain work its way around the edges of the gray mass of hysteria that was building inside of me.
Mason sat back down and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees while he stared at the carpet, confused as he tried to process the impossibility. Mariang kissed the top of my head and moved into the kitchen, I assume to get me the tea they’d each promised as the miracle cure for what ailed me. Danny held my foot, which was akin to a hug from him.
I looked up, utterly lost as I searched out truth in Ezra’s eyes. They always seemed to have a note of compassion, even in the direst of circumstances. “Dad?” I whispered, my voice shaking. He looked at me, and I saw that same kindness I’d mistrusted too many times to have the right to call upon now. Yet somehow it was still there, an endless reserve of goodness for me to take whenever I needed a refill. “Please don’t leave me,” I begged, my lower lip quivering as I hugged myself on the couch, feeling utterly alone and without a prayer.
Ezra cleared the distance between us in the span of a breath, kneeling by my other side and holding my hands, clasping them together like we were praying the same prayer. “Never. You’re my daughter, and this is my grandchild.” He smiled at the word. “My grandchild.”
Danny stood, suddenly pissed. “Where does Von get off getting a kid out of this? What did he do to deserve someone incredible, like October? How does Von get a child, and I get none? Where’s the logic in that?” He didn’t sound like a petulant brat; he was a brokenhearted man. He pounded his fist to his chest. “I’ve given everything to Terraway! And they took everything from Mariang.” He shook his head as Mariang came back into the room,
her footsteps quiet and slow. “This thing that fell in your lap?” he said to me, a mixture of angry and hurt. “I’d kill for that kind of luck! And Von just runs out on it, like he always does when he gets scared.”
Mason held up his hands. “Hey, Von doesn’t know it’s his.”
“He still ran out on his charge. Any way you paint it, he’s still a coward.”
Mariang cleared her throat from the archway that separated the living room from the foyer. Her voice was quiet, making everyone calm down enough to be able to hear her. “We’ve already had our bit of luck. We dipped in the healing waters, Danny. I was talking to October about it earlier. If you’ll still have me, then I might be able to give you everything you want.” She swallowed, and I swear I could’ve heard a pin drop. “Maybe I can give you a child.”
Danny turned, thunderstruck as what dawned on Mariang upstairs slowly began to trickle into his brain like a waterfall that just kept coming, building in its momentum as it crashed over the rocks he’d kept firmly in place to guard his heart. “Are you… Do you really think… But is it safe?”
Mariang nodded, grinning like a much younger girl. “If it’s safe for October, I don’t see why it wouldn’t be for me, too. Don’t I look healthy?”
It was just the right amount of sheer joy to distract from the torrential storm raging inside of me. I watched with my mouth wide open as Danny scooped Mariang up in his arms. He kissed her without caring who was watching, or that we could see the stages of euphoria overtaking them before they broke away, chests heaving. “Wait here,” he said, tearing up the stairs with the same vigor as when he’d chased down Ekeks.
When he came back, he barely made it to her before he got down on his knee. Danny opened a small square box that made Mariang burst into tears afresh. Ezra fell backward from his perch onto his butt, Lynna shrieked with glee, and Mason covered his mouth with his hand as we watched with baited breath.
“Mariang, will you marry me?” Danny asked, simple and succinct, which was true to form. It was the only thing Danny had ever wanted for himself. I couldn’t believe the infinite patience he must’ve had to want to marry her for so long, only to have her turn him away for the greater good.
Mariang’s response could scarcely be heard as she nodded through her tears. “Yes! Yes, Danny!” He slid the biggest diamond I’d ever seen in real life onto her trembling finger, and I could tell by the borderline high looks on their faces when they kissed, that they were in their happy place.
We took turns hugging the couple, Danny foregoing his stoicism to indulge in a tight embrace from everyone in the room. He let out a bray of elation in Ezra’s arms, the two holding onto each other as Ezra cried and welcomed him to the family.
They were the picture of happiness, so I did my best representation of Who cares that I got psychically knocked up? You’re getting married!
Lynna ran to the kitchen and came back with tea for everyone and champagne. I took a tall glass of bubbly fruitiness, but Mason absconded with it before it reached my hand. “Pregnant,” he reminded me, downing my glass and his with an apologetic shrug.
I waited for the right opportunity to slip away, making my way up to my bedroom in the mansion and collapsing on the bed. Since I was alone, I let my tears loose, crying myself into exhaustion, and finally drifting off.
Mason slid in behind me some time in the night, rolling me on my side so he could spoon me. “Goodnight, hani. Whoa!” he said as he held me. “You’re practically radiating. You should’ve called me up here if you were feeling this.”
“I’m fine,” I lied, my eyes puffy and my face lined with dried tears.
He ran his fingers through my hair, draping the tresses up over my pillow so he could nuzzle my neck. “I need you at zero. We have to go to work in the morning.”
I don’t know why this made me cry all over again, but it seemed that I had an endless supply of tears on tap. Usually when I had an audience, I covered my face or did my best to suck it up. But when Mason rolled me over to cradle me in his arms, my sobs turned audible. A horrible, wretched strangled sound rocketed out of me as I wailed my pain into Mason’s chest.
“Let it out,” he crooned between my sobs that choked me and made me cough. I fought to breathe in between my cries of unbearable emotional pain. I had no words for the anger I had at just plain life for giving me something, only to take something else I needed away. Mason’s repeated promises of, “I’m here. I’m here,” hit me like a punch in the gut, reminding me that Von wasn’t here. That he’d split on me. That I was leave-able.
“Ollie,” I blubbered. “I need my brother here! Please get my brother!”
“He’s coming, sweetheart.”
The absence of the one person who always managed to make everything better forced a cry out of me so loud and painful, Mason jumped.
I heard the door creak open, but couldn’t see much through my puffy and bleary eyes. I heard Danny above my bawling. “I can do a double pull to calm her down. This can’t be good for the baby.”
I screamed at him, “I’m not pregnant! I’m not pregnant!”
“I brought you a few sandwiches from Lynna. If she’s this worked up, you’re going to be starved all night.”
“Thanks, man. Yeah. Get on over here. She’s losing it.”
“I don’t need you! I need Ollie! He’ll fix it! He’ll make it okay.” I slapped at Danny as he climbed over Mason and me to get on the other side of the king-sized bed that was pushed up against the wall. Danny’s face became more clearly lit by the sliver of hallway light that filtered in through the door he’d left ajar. I hated the pity in his eyes. “Go away! I don’t need you!”
Danny knelt on the bed at my side and held my face, his thumbs pressing on my forehead and drawing out the pressure along my hairline. “It’s okay, kid. It’ll all be okay in a second.” He glanced up at Mason. “Have the fetus cravings started?” he asked, reminding me that I was in bed with a man who would eventually want to eat my baby.
Mason nodded, ashamed. “Yeah, but I’m handling it. It’s just making me extra hungry, so the sandwiches help. I’ll be fine until she hits the third trimester.”
“Get me out of here!” I screamed, in anguish that this was my life. This was my pregnancy.
I felt my anger begin to lessen, and though I was still upset, my tears stopped flowing as Danny cradled my face in his hands. “Okay, Danny,” Mason warned. “That’s enough.”
Danny released me, confused. “Strange. I’ve never pulled for two before. I think I did it wrong. Sorry, kid. I didn’t mean to pull that hard.” He lightly slapped my cheek and earned himself a drunken punch to the arm, which he grinned at. “Yeah, she’s okay. Call me if you need help with her again, yeah?”
“Screw you,” I murmured, exhausted.
“Hey, watch the language,” Danny teased. “That’s my niece or nephew in there.”
I flipped my middle finger to Danny, earning a chuckle from him. He surprised me when he leaned down and kissed my forehead before climbing back off the bed, leaving me to sleep in Mason’s arms in the dark.
Fifty-Four.
A Good Mom
I awoke to cries that weren’t my own, and I didn’t know whether to feel relieved that I hadn’t been crying in my sleep, or if I should be upset that someone else was sad.
I tiptoed to the bathroom and took a quick shower, scrubbing the fear and freak-out off of me as best I could. When I came out in jeans and a jersey-style blue t-shirt, Mason was tugging on a shirt, his ear attuned to the crying downstairs. “Wait here,” he warned. “I’ll go see what’s what.”
I nodded, unable to make eye contact. “Sure. Hey, sorry I lost it last night. It just kind of hit me all at once.”
Mason stood, lazily kissing my cheek as he inhaled the scent of my hair, his stomach growling. “It’s no problem. You don’t ever need to apologize for that to me, alright?”
I bit my lower lip. “Thanks for being there. Thanks for not splitting on me. You�
��re a good friend. A good guy.”
He stretched his arms over his head. “Not for nothing, but I’ve missed sleeping with you. Makes me feel almost human again.” He lowered his hand between us and rubbed his knuckle over my stomach, making me jump back. He grinned at me. “You’re pregnant. It’s cute. Even though it’s not mine, I still like thinking about you with a baby. You’ll be a good mom.”
I shook my head, not ready to venture that far into optimism just yet. “I can’t believe you think I can do this. I don’t even know any good moms anymore.”
Mama McCray had been a good mom, but she’d been dead for years. I wondered if I could be as fun, kind and patient as she’d been with her boys, and with Ollie, Allie and me. Her wide, cheery smile made it look so effortless.
“I can’t imagine you being bad at anything you put your mind to.”
I tilted my head up at him, not sure at what point we became friends who honestly trusted each other. “You really believe the best in me, huh.”
“Always and only.”
I leaned up and pecked his cheek. “Thank you. Now go see what the newest drama is, and let me know when I can come down.”
“You hungry?”
“Nah. My stomach’s a little queasy.”
The corner of Mason’s mouth twitched upward. “Morning sickness. See? It never stops being cute.” He pecked my lips, looking at me with too much contentment. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
When Mason went downstairs, I took my time brushing my hair, afraid to look in the mirror. I didn’t want to see what I looked like pregnant, even though part of me knew I probably looked the exact same.
When Mariang’s crying was mingled with Ezra’s howls, I burst out of the door, bolting down the stairs as I feared for the worst. I didn’t have my knife from Finn in hand, but I could add a few well-aimed punches to the mix in a pinch. If an Ekek broke into the house, I wouldn’t let him get at my family. Ezra and Mariang belonged to me, and I wasn’t about to wait it out while they were in trouble.
Treat (Terraway Book 5) Page 29