by Susan Simone
‘They were going to get you!’
‘I told you to run for cover!’
‘I panicked!’
‘Panicked? You don’t have time to panic. Paige, they’re going to kill you. If they ever get their hands on you they’re going to kill you, do you understand that?’
‘They would probably kill you too.’
‘But I can’t tell Evard what happened. Only you can do that. Rinald was killed by Xumans, practically on their soil. I’m trying to avoid a war here and keep you alive at the same time.’
‘And just how are we going to do that if you die? I was only trying to help.’
‘I know,’ he closed his eyes and put a hand on my shoulder. ‘It was a smart move,’ he admitted, ‘But don’t try anything like that again, alright?’
‘I promise nothing.’
‘I don’t have time to argue with you,’ he said and walked away searching for gear in the dark stable. We rode away at speed in the night trying to get as far away from town as possible.
Several hours later we found a small clearing and set up camp for the night. We found a bed of soft spongy moss and gratefully lay down.
‘This isn’t too bad,’ I said stretching.
‘No,’ Stone agreed. ‘But I was looking forward to a bed for a change.’
‘Me too.’
‘Who said you were getting the bed?’ he propped himself up on his elbow.
‘I’d share.’
‘That wouldn’t be a good idea. How do I know I could trust you?’ I sat up and stared at him indignantly. ‘You might take advantage of me.’ I pushed him down on the moss and he laughed. I laid back down with my arms crossed.
‘I wouldn’t know what to do anyway,’ I commented.
‘I find that hard to believe.’
‘With a brother like Bear I didn’t have any suitors.’
‘You mean you’ve never been courted?’
‘I’ve never even had a man hold my hand for romantic reasons.’
‘You’ve never even been kissed?’
‘I was almost kissed once, but Bear attacked the poor man.’
‘How old are you?’
’19.’
‘And no one’s ever tried to court you.’
‘Well my hearing frightens most of them off, and Bear the rest. Besides I’m not exactly pretty. I know I’m small and plain.’
‘And you’re okay with this.’
‘Well there’s not much I can do about it is there?’
‘Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life?’
‘No one wants to be alone. I want a husband and children, but I also don’t want to shack up with the only person that will have me either. What about you? Why aren’t you married?’
‘Never found the right one. Men can wait longer. I have time.’
‘But you were engaged once. You said that’s how you got Basil.’
‘She didn’t want me. She wanted my family’s status.’
‘Well then it’s good you didn’t marry.’
‘You wouldn’t jump at the chance to marry some handsome rich lordling?’ he teased.
‘You’re not a lordling. None of that is important to me. I grew up in a one room house. My parents were as far from nobility as you could get. I’m not a stranger to hard work. I wouldn’t know what to do with money. All I want out of life is love and a place to paint. I’m a simple person.’
‘You know you really are quite lovely. Being small and plain doesn’t mean ugly.’ My heart stopped. What was he saying?
‘No it just means you get overlooked,’ I laughed it off.
‘I’m serious,’ he said. ‘You’re beautiful.’ Moving with glacial slowness he loomed over me and carefully rolled on top of me. The weight of him crushed me painfully into the moss but it was almost delicious, a welcome pressure that smoothed over the missing pieces of me. I stared up at him breathless waiting for the moment when his lips would touch mine, sure it was going to happen. He brushed some of my hair away and inspected the delicate lines of my face with soft long fingers.
I swear he was about to kiss me when I totally ruined the moment. I burped…in his face. He closed his eyes and laughed, waving his hand in front of his nose. Mortified, I covered my mouth with my hand and stared at him with wide horrified eyes. He pulled my hand from my mouth and gently kissed the palm, sending a shock of ripples through my body.
‘Too much ale, Paige,’ he smiled and rolled away to sleep. Confused I rolled on my side away from him, but he put his arm under my head and pulled me into him; wrapping his other arm around my waist. I relaxed into him almost immediately. What was it between us now? I had no idea and I doubt that he knew either.
‘Stone?’ I hesitated.
‘Yes?’ his arms moved through my mine effortlessly like we had been laying and talking like this our whole lives.
‘Can I ask you something…kind of improper?’
‘You can ask me anything, but that doesn’t mean I’ll answer.’
‘Stone.’ I could feel him laughing behind me.
‘Ask.’
‘I asked my mother of course, and Bear a couple of times but no one would answer me…’
‘Paige.’
‘What is it like to make love?’ He was still for a long time, I wasn’t sure he was going to answer at all, but then:
‘It’s like climbing down a mountain in the night.’ I half froze thinking about all that meant. There were so many nuances to that little comment, so many layers; it felt like the whole world changed in an instant. ‘Go to sleep,’ he said and took my hand in his twining our fingers. His lips lightly touched the side of my face just above my ear sending shockwaves down my neck. I had to still myself so I didn’t shiver in his arms. None of this was proper but there was no way I was going to move. I pulled him around me like a secure blanket and fell asleep.
Fourteen
I woke early in his arms, neither one of us had stirred all night. His fingers were still threaded through mine and his breath was deep and even. I must have only slept a couple of hours. It was barely past dawn; the light not quite reaching through the trees yet. I’m not sure what woke me. Everything was still. Except Basil. She was snorting sending twin curls of mist out of her nose as she hoofed worriedly at the ground. She was agitated and kept turning around in circles. It was in me to just ignore it as a strange horsey mood and snuggle in closer to Stone, but seeing my eyes open she started pushing her muzzle in my face.
‘I’m up, I’m up,’ I gestured disengaging myself from my warm living blanket and starting to get up. Stone tightened around me and pulled me against him.
One hand went over my mouth and the other told me, ‘Stay down.’
‘Why do you do that?’
‘Do what?’
‘Cover my mouth. I’m not going to scream.’
‘You squeak.’
‘I do?’
‘Yes, now be still.’
‘What’s happening?’
‘Be still!’ I let myself go limp in his arms, settling in for the wait. I didn’t really want to move anyway. I wasn’t so scared this time. Maybe it was because I didn’t actually see the danger, or maybe I was finally getting numb to the danger. Basil pranced around nervously in the still morning and Stone’s fingers fretted over my hand. I almost took that hand to my mouth to kiss it to calm him, but in end I wasn’t bold enough to try. I still had no idea where I stood with him.
The bushes started moving at the edge of my vision. I caught my breath and Stone’s hand was over my mouth again in warning. I took several slow breaths trying to calm my racing pulse before he pulled it away. There was a flash of gleaming black in the early sunlight, and Basil started backing away from that direction. A tentative black paw stepped out of the brush followed by an enormous cat face and a sleek, powerful body.
Stone’s head picked up in total disbelief. I had no idea what he thought was coming but I doubted it was the black panther that watched us now. Basil was jump
ing and prancing in circles alarmed but the beast paid her no attention. Its head hung low as it slowly stalked toward us. I could feel Stone tense his arm, getting ready to take his knife or move us out of the way, but I knew we could never outrun a full grown panther from the ground.
The large cat pawed briefly at our food pack and circled us warily once before standing in front of me. I looked deep into those wild eyes, knowing full well you should never stare down a wild animal, but I couldn’t pull away. Eyes had always drawn me and hypnotized me. Even now with the dreams faded Rinald’s diamond blue still haunted me.
The dark depths of the panther’s eyes washed through me until I was neither Paige, nor separate from the panther itself. I slowly reached out a hand and started to sit up; I couldn’t help it, it was like I was pulled.
‘Paige,’ Stone warned pulling me down. I pried his arm loose and continued to move. Not quite on all fours I matched its posture. It took a step or two towards me dipping its head a little lower, Stone’s hand was on my back clutching at the waistline of my skirt, ready to pull me away.
In a flash a giant paw darted out to my extended arm. I had a brief touch of soft plush fur before I felt the sting of claws and the world tumbled away from me as Stone rolled me away. He was too late of course. The damage was done. Before either of us could right ourselves the panther leapt over us and disappeared into the woods. We sat there in stunned stillness staring after the path of the panther for a long minute.
Stone looked down and grabbed my arm pulling me out of my thoughts. It didn’t hurt until I looked at it; my arm felt only cold and wet. Taking in the three long, deep and bloody gashes that ran on the inside of my forearm, I felt the burning pain. It tears to my eyes as if I had tasted something sour rather than actual emotion. I watched detached as Stone ripped the end of his shirt to wrap around it and poured water over the dripping blood.
‘This is going to scar,’ he said inspecting the wounds gingerly.
‘Let it,’ I said dismissively half in a trance.
‘Paige,’ he looked up at me sternly, one hand on my shoulder and the other still holding my bleeding arm. ‘Don’t start getting destructive again.’
‘It’s okay,’ I smiled and reached up to touch his face already stubbly with the beginnings of his beard.
‘I’ve never seen anything like that,’ he shook his head. ‘They don’t normally attack like that unless they’re cornered.’
‘It didn’t attack.’
‘What do you call this?’ he asked holding up my arm.
‘A gift,’ I said absently.
‘A gift?’
‘I think it was trying to mark me.’
‘Like marking its territory? Great. Now you belong to a panther.’
‘My father used to tell stories about that.’
‘Stop moving for a minute here or the bleeding will never stop.’
‘Stone, stop worrying over it. I’ll be fine.’
‘I don’t want it to get infected.’ I sighed and let him doctor it to his heart’s content. He wasn’t going to leave me alone until I let him anyway. ‘Now what stories?’
‘My father was Xuman. His people believed that we all belonged to animals. We are given to guardian spirits who care for us when we don’t know the way. That’s how Bear got his name. He was born to a different name, but no one ever used it and I don’t even think I remember it anymore. We were little and Dad had taken him out into the woods with him while I stayed with Mom. He was just learning to walk and Dad had set him down to inspect a trap or something and he toddled off. When Dad turned around Bear was rolling on the ground with a bear cub and where there’s a cub, the mother is not far behind. Before Dad could get to him the mother loomed out of the forest. He about had a fit according to the story, but Bear latched onto the mother bear’s leg. The mother actually rolled over and groomed him while her own cub nursed. She accidentally gave him a small scratch on his back because his baby skin was too delicate for bear hands. It was small and clean but scarred anyway. After that he was always called Bear Cub. As he got older he became just Bear.’
‘So you think this panther claimed you.’
‘Maybe. We were always told stories of animals leaving a scar or a mark behind. It was his religion…our religion.’
‘You really believe this.’
‘Think about it. It wasn’t aggressive. If it wanted to attack we would have died. It didn’t even try for our food. It wasn’t threatened by Basil’s reaction. All it did was scratch me and run off. You said yourself they don’t attack unless cornered.’
‘So what does this scar mean then?’
‘That I’m going to need my guardian spirit. It marked me so I won’t forget it when I need it.’ He was still at that, but I could see he didn’t like it. He got up, resigned to my belief, and slowly started packing for the day. He handed me some bread left over from Aster and tended to Basil while I ate.
‘Stone, are you okay?’ I asked walking over to him.
‘I’m fine,’ he smiled unconvincingly. ‘You scared me. Come on panther girl,’ he said and lifted me on the horse before I could respond.
‘Girl!’
‘Okay, panther woman,’ he said after mounting behind me. He wrapped both arms around me and kissed my cheek. ‘Do me a favor. No more running off into danger or reaching out to wild animals. You’re going to give me the fits.’
‘I promise nothing.’ He lightly tugged my hair and laughed. I leaned against him comfortably and settled in for the ride letting myself doze off. Stone would keep me safely on the horse and his arms were strong around me.
It was a long slow day. Stone insisted on moving slow in case we needed a burst of speed from Basil, but he was also grateful to get off our feet so he had no qualms about riding all day. We ate on horseback and only rested to feed and water Basil. Stone’s hands were filled with the reigns most of the day so we didn’t speak much. I was a little more affectionate than was strictly appropriate, leaning on him, allowing my hands to touch his knees or letting his fingers mesh with mine, but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact he was almost as bad. Dear God what has changed and why am I so nervous about it?
Slowly the forest fell away from us into a large treeless valley. Undulating waves of soft new grass moved in the wind. It was short in the early season, just long enough to ripple with the breeze. There was nothing else as far as the eye could see, just a never ending sea of grass. There were no trees, no bushes or flowers, no rocks, not even a stream decorated the horizon. To the west were the constant undaunted mountains now impassible on this side. We had no place else to go but through it.
There was a small well on the edge of resting farmland that looked like it hadn’t been used in a number of years. Behind us were square fields enclosed by the last trees to be seen and the end of all visible life. Here Stone stopped. I got down to stretch my legs and watched him unpack every piece of food we had and repack it meticulously. I realized seeing his urgency this is what he was preparing for all this time, crossing this great expanse.
‘Drink up,’ he said tossing me the water skin while he filled the bucket with water. ‘After this we ration everything.’
‘How far?’
‘We have to go around the mountains. Maybe three days if we’re careful. There’s nothing out here for miles. No cover, but no else has cover either and we’ll probably see them coming if they come.’
‘No water?’
‘No.’
‘But the grass is so green. There has to be water somewhere.’
‘There’s some groundwater, but we don’t have tools to dig a well. It also rains more this time of year. By fall this grass will be tall, dry, and yellow like straw. There aren’t many animals, maybe a few prairie dogs or lizards. Burrowing animals mostly but only where they can dig down to water. There are no trees or plants because the soil is so thin it can’t support anything else.’
‘God.’
‘Welcome to the wastelands.’
&
nbsp; ‘What about Basil?’ He smiled and pulled out several large skins and started filling them with water. Horse sized water skins were packed in a small bucket and hung off the saddle bags.
‘I have her well in hand. We’ve done this before.’
‘Do you cross this way often?’
‘No. I usually take the pass, but I come this way often enough.’
‘Would it be better to cross the mountains here?’
‘Do you really want to?’
‘No,’ I admitted.
‘The pass is better, but it’s too easy to set a trap. One wrong move and we’re dead up there. Out here the worst that’ll happen is we’ll be thirsty and hungry when we get through. I’m not willing to risk you to get there faster. About done?’
‘Yes,’ I handed him the skin. With everything repacked and rechecked we were on our way again.
There was no fire that night. It would have been seen for miles. Instead we settled in a small ditch just large enough to hide our bodies from the horizon. There wasn’t much we could do about Basil but she never strayed far and we hoped a horse wouldn’t be too alien in this empty land.
Stone settled in the ditch and I shamelessly cuddled up against him. He gathered me into his arms without hesitation; I almost purred relaxing against his warmth. I didn’t have the courage to try anything but I wasn’t about to give up what little headway we had made. He gently pulled my hair away from my neck running his fingers through it. He curled around me from behind and inspected my hand sighing and his chest rumbled against my back.
‘What did you say?’ I asked.
‘How do you know I spoke?’
‘Your chest rumbles.’
‘Oh, sorry.’
‘No I like it,’ I yawned. ‘It’s relaxing. When I was a girl whenever I was scared I’d lie on my father’s chest and feel it rumble while he told stories.’
‘You miss him a lot, don’t you?’
‘I miss them all. I’m the only one left. Though the hole where Bear was still hurts like a hot knife. He was the hardest.’