“Lolli,” Nate corrects on a growl.
Mason winks at him.
Kalani is Lolli’s real name, but only Nate and her aunt call her that; it’s their thing.
“Fuck all of you. Watch.” He points at everyone individually. “I’mma show you. And you’re talkin’ bout Noah Riley, aren’t you, Lolli, baby?”
“Brady.” Ari shakes her head.
Nate growls again.
“Course I am, Brady.” She pops a brow at Chase and Mason.
“Wait, Noah Riley from Avix?” Mason questions.
“Yep.”
Chase nods. “We met him in camp this summer. He’s good.”
“He’s not just good. He’s damn good.” Lolli brings her eyes back to mine. “I want him. Bad.”
“Dude!” Mason cries right as Nate snaps, “Baby!”
All the girls laugh.
“You can’t say that shit!” Mason frowns.
Nate turns to shove him, spinning back to Lolli. “You’d better watch it, gorgeous,” he warns with a sharp brow raised.
She only smiles wider.
Both Nate’s and Mason’s frowns deepen.
Lolli calms him with a hand on his chest as she turns to me. “Seriously though, he’s coming to Oceanside?”
“Yep. Guess he’s got some buddies vacationing around here this summer, and he’s coming to spend his last free week here.”
“Hell to the yes.” She gives me a high five.
Nate and Mason continue to pout.
“What’s wrong with those two?” Payton whispers to Ari, not any kind of quiet.
The group laughs.
“Oh, don’t mind these boys.” Cameron smiles as she hops up and makes her way to a scowling Mason. “They’re a little insecure—”
She’s laughing and running off, Mason hot on her heels before she even finished her sentence. The group follows, headed for the water, but Kenra instead veers left, and I smile to myself.
She’s spotted it—the pergola, the swing Nate gave Lolli that once belonged to his parents.
I give her a minute, just observing as she hesitantly steps under the open wood. Her fingers trail the links that hold the swing in place, but she doesn’t attempt to sit.
“I can’t believe my mom let this thing go,” she says quietly through a smile.
I lean against the beam. “She knew what it meant for the two of them. She was happy to make Nate and Lolli happy.”
Kenra nods.
“She’d have done it for you.”
A chuckle mixed with sadness escapes her, and she shifts to face me. “I know.” She steps past, running her fingers over my hammock as she looks to me.
“The swing is Lolli’s spot. This is mine.” I grab on to the rope it’s suspended from. “I come out here when I need to process or just need a minute to breathe.” My eyes search hers. “We all have hard days, Kens. We all have weak moments, but you have to find your strength and reach for it.”
Her golden eyes crease at the edges, and she glances off.
“I haven’t been a very good daughter, Parker.” She looks to her brother in the distance. “Sometimes, I think I should just walk away from everything back home and embrace the life I’m in. Let Lolli fill the hole I dug into my parents’ hearts. But it’s the only piece of me I have left.” A sad laugh leaves her. “Isn’t that selfish of me? All so I don’t lose myself while they sit around, wondering what they did wrong, why their daughter won’t come home for the holidays or simple visits anymore, why I have an excuse or reason they can’t come see me when they ask. And they ask all the time.”
Pressure builds against my ribs as I listen to her speak. “Talk to me, Kens.”
She watches the others play in the water, her lip twitching when Mason lifts Payton by the legs and runs into the water with her. “She’s happy with Deaton.”
My gaze hardens, and I look to my sister. “Don’t lie to me, Kenra.”
“I’m not,” she whispers. “Deaton …” She hesitates a moment. “He isn’t his brother. He’s good.” Her eyes come back to mine, and she offers a small smile, knowing damn well she just admitted Kellan’s not but letting me know that’s all she’s gonna say on that. “Payton loves him and with good reason. He loves her just as much, if not more.”
“Then, why is she freaking out? Why did she run here, away from him, like that?”
“I think she knows, once he finds out, it’ll all be real. He’ll want every piece of her, and I’m not so sure she’s made a decision yet, as far as the baby goes.”
“You mean, she might …”
Kenra shrugs and looks to the water again. “I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe adoption. She’s young, Parker; she has her whole life ahead of her, plans. I don’t think she’s ready to think about it yet.”
I nod, running my hand across my jaw.
“He’ll look for her, Parker. He knows her inside and out. It won’t take long for him to figure out where she is.”
“And, when he finds her … will Kellan find you?”
She’s quiet for a moment before vacant eyes meet mine. “He won’t have to. I’ll go back on my own. We both know that.” And then she walks away.
Two Years Ago—December
I knew the minute Kenra called, something was wrong. Her silky voice was cracking, and she kept pausing as she talked. Um was every other word, and followed by a deep inhale.
It’s been the same thing every few weeks since she took Kellan back right before school started. She fights with him and ends up here, crying.
I hate everything about it. I hate that she’s upset, that he’s the one who upsets her. I hate that she lets him, and no matter what he does, she forgives him.
I hate how, every time it happens, hope sparks inside me, and I think, just maybe, she’ll see. Maybe she’ll admit to feeling what I feel when I’m around her. She never does.
But tonight is different. She’s hysterical, upset like never before.
I walk back into the living room with a bottle of water and drop beside her on the couch.
“Talk to me, Kens.” I rub her back, and her body sways closer to me. “What happened?”
“L-Liv,” she cries.
“You want me to call Liv?”
“No!” She hiccups through her tears. “No. She …” She starts crying harder, her head dropping to her lap.
“Kenra, listen, I know you’re upset, but if you don’t tell me what’s going on, I’m gonna figure out a way to find out for my own damn self.”
She sniffs a few times, nodding slowly. I hand her the tissue, and she turns away to wipe her nose and runs her fingers under her eyes.
“I … so Kellan said he would call me when he was headed over to get me, but a few minutes later, Nate popped in my room and said he was on his way to the party if I wanted to ride with him. So … I did.”
She starts crying again, and my muscles tense, intuition making me rigid.
“Kellan’s car was there, which was no big deal because I knew he was helping set everything up for tomorrow. Tonight was only supposed to be a few of us. Well, Nate went straight for the garage, which was open with some guys moving stuff around.” She keeps her head straight but shifts her eyes to mine. “No one even saw me get out of the car.”
“Keep talking, Kens.”
She gives me a half-smile that doesn’t meet her eyes. “I found Kellan.”
I nod.
“With Liv.” Her voice cracks, and she crumbles again.
Bending at her waist, she cries into her knees, her hands coming up to fold over her hair.
Damn it. I knew it was worse.
Kellan, I’d bet, had done it before, cheated while away at college. But I never would have expected this from Liv. From what I’ve learned, they’ve been best friends since they were little.
That’s a hard blow.
“Kens.” I drop in front of her, running my hands along her thighs, trying to comfort her. I’d do anything to make her feel better, ta
ke away her pain. “Tell me what to do.”
Her head lifts slightly, those caramel eyes muddled as they move slowly between mine. “Let me stay.”
I swallow. “You wanna stay here? For the night?”
She nods, her eyes dropping to her tearstained jeans.
“What will you tell your parents?”
More tears come, and she quickly wipes them with her sleeve. “They think I’m at Liv’s.”
“Right.”
She looks back to me. “Please, Parker.”
I should say no, offer to take her home, but I won’t. I want her here as much as I want to be the one to make her feel better.
“Course you can stay. Want me to make us something, put a movie on?”
“Can we just … go lie down?”
I nod, my forehead pinched.
When I stand and reach for her hand, she stares at it for a moment. Then, she places her palm in mine and moves to stand in front of me.
I’m supposed to step back; I know that. But I don’t. Can’t.
She looks up at me, her free hand lifting to rub the center of my chest, before turning and leading me to my room.
She’s been in here before but never to stay. She shows up, unannounced and at random, and we hang. Usually, it’s when she’s sad, but sometimes, it’s when she’s happy. Like, when her cousin, Arianna, came to visit over the summer, Kenra showed up at my house just hours after they dropped her and her twin brother, Mason, at the airport, gushing and glowing about all the fun they had had over those few weeks. It was the happiest I’d seen her in months.
I hand her a pair of basketball shorts and a T-shirt, and she smiles gratefully, slipping into the hall to change in the bathroom.
Right as I’m pulling an extra blanket from the closet, she walks back in, her face fresh and clear of all the makeup marks her tears left behind.
I give her a soft smile and pull the comforter back for her. “Sheets and pillowcases are clean. It’s yours for the night.”
When she frowns, her gaze quickly dropping to the floor, I walk up, bringing her eyes back to mine. “Don’t do that, Kens, not with me. Don’t shut down. Tell me what you want.”
A smile pulls at her mouth, a real one. It’s small and clouded by sadness, but it’s mine, which makes me smile in return.
“I want you to stay with me.”
My hand caressing her chin slows. “In the room?”
“In the bed,” she whispers, her eyes filling with tears once more, so I nod. I could never deny her.
She walks around me and climbs under the covers, choosing the space next to the wall.
I close and lock my bedroom door, crack my window for a breeze, and then climb in beside her.
She’s quiet for a few minutes before she speaks, “How could I have been so blind?”
“This is in no way your fault, so don’t even for a second think it was.”
“It’s just … God. My best friend, Parker? How could she? And, not that the time frame matters, but the night before formal? I must look like such a fool,” she whispers. “He only came home to go with me to the dance, and now, this?”
“This isn’t something you should have had to see coming, Kenra.”
“I think I need … I don’t know what I need.”
“You don’t need this,” I whisper. “That’s for sure. You don’t need to be lying here, having been betrayed by two people you should have been able to trust.”
“I know,” she agrees faintly.
I know she’s falling asleep, her emotions proving too much for my nightingale.
“You need someone who will be there for you, Kens,” I quietly tell her, staring at the ceiling. “You need someone to take care of you, not hurt you like this all the time.”
“And what do you need, Parker?” she whispers as she slips into slumber.
You.
The score’s twelve to six with fifteen seconds on the clock. Cape Carl has no choice but to go long if they hope for any chance of scoring. If they get it and make the extra point, they’ll officially knock the Knights out of the playoffs.
I drop back, staying deep, and watch as the receivers go out for a pass. When the quarterback steps back, ready to fire, my feet start moving, and right before the ball is set to drop, I shoot past, picking off the ball and cutting wide. I hear the crowd go wild, and I smile against my mouthpiece. I won’t make a touchdown; most of my guys didn’t see me coming, so there’s little to no blocking. But my team moves forward regardless.
I tuck my shoulder and take the hit as I’m shoved out of bounds. But it’s no matter. The clock runs out, and the celebration has begun. I hop up, watching the varsity team cheer us on from the sidelines as they prepare to take the field for their game, and the announcer pumps the crowd, telling them the junior Knights will advance to the JV championship game.
I spot Kenra against the fence, jumping up and down, as she screams her congratulations.
What I wouldn’t give to go over there, lift her by her waist, and spin her around. Instead, I grin her way, and she winks.
My entire team creates a straight line, ready to be announced one by one and escorted across the field—the typical closing for when the Knights advance.
Most everyone here has a parent or girlfriend waiting to walk with them, but Dad’s out of town, as usual, and my mom couldn’t be bothered with the idea—not that I wanted her here, but still. So, I prepare to walk on my own.
The announcer calls on me, and I begin taking my first few steps.
I’m not embarrassed, and walking alone in no way bothers me, but it must have bothered her because I don’t make it four feet before her soft hand slides in mine.
My gaze snaps to her, my heart rate rising with the flush of her skin. Her eyes are a little puffy from her crying last night, but she’s still stunning, just gorgeous in her tight little jeans and Alrick high hoodie.
She looks forward again, so I do, too.
“That was some interception back there, Mr. Safety,” she speaks low, pausing as we make it to half-field for the school photographer to get her shot.
I chuckle, grabbing her hand and shifting so that she’s holding on to my arm instead. “Thank you, Kens. And thank you for this.” I glance at her, and she smiles, quickly glancing off with a nod. “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”
We step past the people on the sideline, and turn to each other as I drop my helmet in the grass.
She shrugs. “I wanted to be here to watch you win,” she teases, but her eyes crease at the edges, showing her true sadness.
“Well, I’m glad because I was thinking …” I trail off, and she eyes me playfully. “What if you came over again tonight? After everything with Liv and Kellan, you were planning to skip the dance anyway, so come over. We’ll hang, distract each other.”
She nods, subconsciously looking in the direction of the varsity team where Kellan is chatting with his old coach. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” Her eyes come back to mine. “I think I’d like that.” She tries to say it strong, but she’s bummed out. She wanted to go to formal and probably still would if it were just another fight between her and Kellan, but this time is different.
“You staying to watch Nate play?”
“Well, I don’t want him to disown me, so yeah.” She laughs.
“All right, so about nine?”
She grins, shocking me when she grips my bicep for leverage, bringing her soft lips down on my sweaty cheek. “Thank you for being you,” she whispers before making her way back to her friends, all of who look from me to her with a frown.
I ignore the questioning glances I get for having Kellan Vermont’s girlfriend escorting me across the field. Little do they know what he’s done or that they’re over. And, of course, none of them have a clue that she slept in my bed last night or that she’s spent more time with me than him in the past two years since he’s been gone. It’s no secret he only pops up on random weekends. People will chalk her walk
ing with me up to her being the sweet little people-pleaser she is. And that’s all right. No need for them to know our business.
I hurry from the field to change and head out, planning to shower at home.
As expected, it takes a good fifteen minutes to make it out of the parking lot, but once I hit the road, it only takes a couple minutes to reach my house. As soon as I kill my engine, I head inside, rushing to get things ready.
It might have seemed on impulse, my inviting Kenra over tonight, but I planned on calling her right after the game. From the moment she left this morning, I’ve been thinking about her having to miss the dance because of the assholes who wronged her. Losing them both in the same night was tough.
And I can’t accept that, her unhappy and feeling like she is missing out on something, so I’m bringing formal to her.
I move the couches, pressing them against the wall, and the coffee table to the spare room. I hang white lights I found in the garage, framing the living room and entryway.
Once I step off the stool, I check the frozen lasagna I threw in the oven the minute I got home, seeing I’ve got just enough time to shower and change before the timer goes off.
It takes longer than planned to have everything ready, but when she’s still not here twenty minutes later, I start to worry.
Kenra is never late. In fact, she’s always early, so something must be off.
I dig my phone out of my gym bag, finding no messages from her. I try her phone, but it goes straight to voice mail.
The only thing I can do is wait, so I do.
Two hours go by before I hear a car pulling up outside. I hop off the couch and hustle to the door. When I pull it open, my gaze narrows.
Car after car pulls forward, and it hits me, irritation heating my skin as, one by one, Alrick’s finest exit the vehicles, all in their formalwear.
She went with him.
Right when I get set to slam the door, a group of laughing senior girls stumble up my yard, pausing when they see me standing in the doorway.
They glance from the house to me. “This is where the after-party’s at, right?”
I’m two seconds from turning them away, just about to direct them next door, when more people walk up behind them.
Defenseless Hearts Page 6