I hop from the barstool, run into the living room to grab one I saw lying on the couch, and toss it on.
When I step back in kitchen, Lolli is just finishing making her cup and shifts to face me. Instantly, her eyes drop, her smile quickly turning into a frown.
I glance down, seeing the sweater I put on is a UCLA sweater— Nate’s sweater. My eyes flick back to hers. I open my mouth to speak, but her hand flies up, and she laughs at herself.
“You’re fine. For real.” She chuckles again, shaking her head, and walks for the door. “I think I need to learn how to share. Well, maybe.” She winks over her shoulder as she moves to sit on the little patio couch.
I laugh and take the seat across form her. “Yeah, you don’t exactly strike me as the sharing type.”
“I’m not. Don’t want to. Especially Nate, and I am so okay with that decision.” She laughs into her cup. “But maybe a sweater here and there won’t kill me.”
“You don’t sound real sure about that,” I tease.
She grins. “I’m not. And honestly? If that were his team sweater with his name on it … I’d have made you change.” She widens her eyes, opening her mouth in a mock shocked expression, and we both laugh.
“Will he be back today?”
“I told him to stay, get some extra sleep.” She glances my way with a grin. “He told me to wear my purple chonies.”
We both laugh lightly, and she smiles to herself.
“You love him a lot, huh?”
Her features soften in a way I’ve noticed only happens when he’s around. “With everything I am. But is there any other way?”
She brings her eyes back to mine, and my lip twitches.
“I don’t think there is.” I bring my knees up, crossing my arms over them. “People will criticize us, Deaton and me. Say we don’t know what we’re doing. How stupid and young we are. Already, my mother tells me I don’t know what love is.” I shake my head, disgusted. “She’s the one who has no idea. And we might be young, but why does that have to mean it’s not real?”
I look back to Lolli, and she lowers her cup, staring at me with her head tilted slightly.
“He makes me feel like I matter. Knows how to chase away the echoes of my mom’s voice when they get too loud even though he has his own problems to battle. Both our lives at home are empty, but together, we’re … everything just makes sense. He’s taught me so much about what love even is. He’s shown me how to love and trust in someone. I didn’t even believe in the word, let alone the emotion behind it, before he offered it to me.” I glance back at Lolli, waiting for judgment, but it never comes.
She smiles, her eyes dropping to my belly and then coming back to mine. “You’re afraid, if you have this baby, one of your guys’ parents will step in and take control.”
Tears slip without warning, and I nod. “I’m afraid they’ll raise the baby to be what me and Deaton were. Cold. Heartless. Unloved.”
Lolli sighs, a deep crease taking over her forehead. She looks over the ocean. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to love a … anyone else like I love Nate. And I know I said I should learn to share, but I don’t want to share him. Not even with …” Her eyes fly to mine.
She stares at me, and I stare at her. And, much to my surprise, she lets me see the trouble on her mind. There’s so much worry in her eyes that I’ve never seen.
She’s genuine. And she loves her people.
I glance down and then lock my eyes on hers. “I’m worried about my brother.”
“So am I,” she admits with no hesitation.
“This family? Every move they make is calculated. Purposeful. She’s been here almost a week now.”
“You’re thinking he knows she’s here?”
“I’m saying he’s allowing it.”
Anger flashes across her features. “Why?”
“Exactly.”
Lolli frowns, her eyes cutting toward the house in thought before coming back to me. Her gaze drops to my stomach.
I tense. I didn’t even realize I had been cradling my belly, protecting my baby without knowing it.
“You’ve already decided.” It’s not a question, just a gentle statement.
“I could never give up a piece of us. She’s ours.”
“Have you told Deaton?” she whispers.
“Tonight. He wants to take me on our own night walk on the beach.”
Lolli laughs lightly.
“I’m telling him then.”
Tears fill her eyes, and she rolls them at herself, her lip twitching in a small smile. “Good. That’s good.” She shifts to set her cup down and bends forward to rest her elbows on her knees. “Because I wanted to talk to you about something.”
She’s serious in an instant, staring at me with strong, capable eyes.
I drop back in my seat. “I’m listening.”
It’s just after dark when the front door opens.
I glance over the couch right as Parker and Kenra walk in, and it’s obvious there was some sort of shift.
He’s eased.
She’s hiding something.
They pause in the doorway, completely unaware of our sitting here, and Kenra moves toward him.
“I’m gonna step out back to meet Ari and the others. She said they’re about here.”
Deaton and I glance at each other when Kenra steps into Parker, lightly kissing him.
I hop up, enraged, and loudly toss my magazine back to the table.
Both their gazes snap our way.
Parker’s eyes are pinched around the edges as his gaze flicks around the room, and Kenra’s quickly cut to the floor. I meet Lolli’s stare as she leans back against Nate’s chest. Then, I storm past Parker, out the front door.
He doesn’t understand.
“Peep, wait up,” I call out.
When she starts walking faster, I jog to catch up. “Payton, damn it, would you stop?”
She whips around, her long blonde braid flying over her shoulder. “What are you doing, Parker?” She scowls at me. “Seriously, what the hell? Are you insane?”
“No, I’m not. Things aren’t how you’re thinking. It’s more complicated than—”
She laughs bitterly. “Don’t insult me. I might be young, but I am not dumb. You must be though if you think for a second that this will all work out for you in the end. This isn’t the story where the good guy wins. You need to back off Kenra.”
“Payton,” I drag out, shaking my head. “You don’t understand—”
“No!” she shouts and steps closer to me. “You don’t understand. I do. I’ve been the thorn they can’t get rid of for the last three years, Parker. Me. And I understand exactly what’s at stake for me. You? You have no clue what you’re up against!”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I narrow my eyes, trying to read hers. “Are you—”
“We are not talking about me right now. This is about you!”
“What about me, Payton? Tell me what you’re worried about because I can’t read your damn mind.”
“Do you like it here, Parker? Do you want to stay here and go to school, move forward in life?”
My brows furrow, but I nod. “Yeah, Peep, I do.”
“Then, let. Her. Go.”
My shoulders sag, and I glance off and then back. “I tried that before, and it didn’t work. I won’t fight it anymore, not for anyone. She wants this, too, Payton. It’s not just me.”
Tears fill her eyes, but she blinks them away. “That family? They’re vicious. They won’t just let her be with you if that’s even what she wants. And they won’t only take it out on her, Parker.”
I step closer to her. “Are you saying Kenra can’t leave?”
Payton’s head pulls back, and her face scrunches. “Are you serious? How do you not know?” She chuckles in humorless disbelief.
“Know what, Payton?”
Her wide eyes flick between mine. “Why don’t you take Mom’s calls?”
“I�
��” My head snaps back at the sudden change in direction. “What?”
“Mom. Why don’t you talk to her anymore?” she rushes out.
“I haven’t talked to her in forever, Payton. Nothing new here.”
“Right, yeah …” She trails off, her gaze dropping to the sand.
“Payton.”
Slowly, her eyes lift to mine. “She threatened Deaton before. Did you know that?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, she threatened him, told him if he didn’t break up with me, she would give his wrestling coach pictures of him smoking weed.”
“Does he smoke weed?”
“Once! He did once. He was stupid and let some of our ‘friends’ at a party peer pressure him. Turned out, Mom had paid them to do it. His coach had a no drugs or alcohol policy, or you were off the team. There was no leniency. Without that team, he had no chance at getting a scholarship.”
“His family’s filthy rich.”
“So is our mother, Parker! But you found another way, right? Well, for Deaton, this was his way out.”
“But you’re still together.”
“Because he came to me!” she stresses. “Instantly. Because I was worth it to him. Don’t you get it?”
“No!” I shake my head. “I don’t!”
“Kenra!” she shouts. “She could have picked you, and she didn’t!”
“Are you saying Mom threatened her?”
“Mom, Kellan, the entire Vermont fucking family! Now, Kenra’s in their pockets. Do you know what that tells me? That tells me you weren’t worth it to her.” Payton starts crying, and right then, Deaton steps out of nowhere and makes his way over. “That tells me she doesn’t love you! Don’t let her ruin your life, Parker.”
I go to step toward her, but Deaton swoops in, wrapping his arms around her.
He gives me a small, sad smile over her head.
Payton sniffles, grabbing on to Deaton’s T-shirt. “I just don’t want you to lose everything.”
“Peep …” I trail off, unsure of what to say or think.
And they start back for the house, so I follow quietly behind.
When she reaches the door, she turns, her blue eyes scanning mine, and her shoulders sag. “You’d give this all up for her, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes.”
She nods. “Make her tell you everything. Maybe together, if she decides she’s brave enough, you guys can fight your way through it. If it’s not already too late.”
We step inside, closing the door behind us.
“Too late how?”
She opens her mouth to speak, but before words come out, there’s a loud bang, followed by angry fists against the front door.
My brows jerk in, and Payton’s eyes grow pained.
Everything inside me locks.
There’s no fucking way.
I yank my door open, coming face-to-face with Kellan fucking Vermont. He shoves past me before I think to react, walking right into my house.
He spins to face me. “Where is she?”
And the shock wears off.
I step forward, ready to knock his ass out. “There’s nothing here for you. Now, get the fuck out of my house.”
He laughs obnoxiously, and I inch even closer. “Please, Parker, let’s not pretend this ends any other way. Now”—his face contorts, and his true colors show through his glare—“where the fuck is Kenra?”
At that, Nate storms from the hall, shoving Kellan before he even sees him coming. He stands there, glaring, as Kellan regains his balance.
“Nate, my man.” Kellan raises his hands, and Nate’s fists tighten at his sides. “There’s no bad blood here. I’m just looking to take my woman back home.”
“She isn’t here,” I growl, fighting the urge to beat this guy to the ground.
The problem here is, Kellan would love that. He’s probably hoping for it, so he can have me arrested even though he’s the one who burst in here like he had the right.
Kellan lets out a half-chuckle before tilting his head in a nod. “Now, don’t lie. She’s here. Anytime she disappears like this, it’s when you’re involved. Every fucking time. But I assure you, this will be the last.”
“You can’t just barge in here like this.” Deaton steps forward, shifting Payton behind him.
Kellan’s gaze snaps toward his brother. “Keep your fucking mouth shut. And, while you’re at it, get your shit, or it will be Mother dearest showing up next. Your ass is going home.” He glances past him to look at Payton. “I’ll be sure to let Ava know where you disappeared to.”
My eyes narrow further. “You on a first-name basis with my mother?”
At that, Kellan stands tall with a smirk. “How do you think I kept Kenra in line while I was away at college those first few years?”
I go to rush him, but movement over his shoulder catches my eye, and I freeze. He sees it and spins.
Ari, Cam, and Kenra are making their way up the steps of the patio, their light laughter heard through the glass.
Kenra steps to the front to slide the door open, her eyes rising as she does, and her entire body goes rigid as her stare connects with the asshole who is here to get her.
Her hand flies to her ponytail and then pulls at the hem of her dress.
Nobody says a word. No moves are made until Kellan widens his stance. She takes the first step, and then he moves toward her.
I do nothing but watch him go. Nate, on the other hand, rushes behind him.
“Hero—”
“Not now, Lolli Bear.”
She sighs as we watch Kenra hesitantly approach Kellan and step into his fake-as-shit welcoming hug, and my body starts to shake.
“Tell me she won’t go,” Lolli rushes out in a whisper, but I ignore her.
Kellan starts talking, “I’m glad you’ve had fun visiting your family, love, but we have some events coming up, and I would really like you to be there with me. Come home?” Their eyes are locked a moment before Kenra nods. “Perfect. Should I wait outside for you?”
Again, she nods, her lips smashed in a tight line.
He tips his chin, and I watch, completely fucking stunned and frozen where I stand as she steps into him, her lips—lips that were on me only minutes ago, lips that slid across my fucking body only last night—sliding across his.
My fists clench at my sides, and I jerk forward, but Payton’s subtle touch on my elbow has me pausing to glance her way. Wide-eyed and afraid, she stares at me, begging me not to do or say anything. Truth is, I have no fucking clue what to do here.
I bite into my tongue to keep my feet still, and look back to Kenra.
We all stand there, not a damn word spoken, as she steps past him, ignores all our stares, and disappears down the hall.
Kellan smooths his shirt down as he walks for the door, smirking as he passes. “I’ll be out front. Right out front.” He turns to Deaton with a glare. “Get your shit, Deaton.” And then he storms out the front.
My finger lock around the back of my head, and I start pacing.
“What the fuck, Parker?” Nate growls.
I drag my hands down my face. “Not now, man,” I grumble, and then I rush down the hall, right into Kenra’s room, and slam the door closed, locking it before Nate reaches and tries to pull it open.
She lifts her tearstained face to mine, and we both listen as Lolli drags a cussing Nate back down the hall.
She’s changed, back into her Vermont-approved attire, fucking cardigans and slacks.
“Tell me what happened in Alrick.”
She opens her mouth but quickly clamps it shut, her eyes lowering. “I can’t.”
“Tell me something. Anything. Give me something, Kenra, because I can’t just move on or wait or let you fucking go when you walk out that door. Not this time. Not after … you said you were ready. And I believed you, Kens.” My shoulders sag, and she whimpers, her hand lifting to cover the sound as she cries. “If there’s more going on here than just yo
u wanting to leave, tell me. Let me help you.”
“Parker,” she whispers, and I fight to keep my composure when all I wanna do is drop to my knees and fuckin’ beg. She lifts her eyes to mine. “Stop saving me. Let me fall.”
I slowly shake my head and move to step in front of her. My thumbs come up to wipe away her tears, my fingers threading into the hair at the base of her neck.
Her hands fly up to grip my wrists, but she doesn’t pull me off her. Deep creases take over her forehead as she closes her eyes.
“I won’t, Kenra. I can’t.”
Her lids slowly lift, her eyes connecting with mine.
“I’ll save you every chance I get. You fall; I fall.”
She pulls back. “There won’t be a chance after this, Parker. I won’t be back. I won’t be the reason you break again.”
“You leave here; I break. You don’t come back; I shatter. You live unhappy, unloved, and underappreciated, and I fucking die inside, Kenra. Please. Don’t go.”
She’s full-on sobbing as she grabs her bag, refusing to meet my eyes as she steps past me for the door. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “But I changed my mind.”
“I don’t believe that,” I croak, clearing my throat. “Not for a damn second, Kenra.”
I step closer, until my chest is against her back, and she tenses before allowing her body to relax into mine.
“I don’t believe you. There’s a reason. I don’t care what it is. Nothing is worth more to me than having you. Nothing.” I wrap my arms around her, closing my eyes as I hug her from behind. Payton’s words are fresh in my mind, so I lay it out there. “Tell me what’s going on, and let me decide. Show me I’m worth it to you.”
She takes a deep breath, and I wait, holding mine.
And then my heart is pulled from my chest as she pulls herself from my arms.
And there it is.
Maybe I was never enough to begin with.
I take a second to regain myself and then follow behind her, down the hall and into the living room.
She doesn’t look at anyone, doesn’t lock eyes with her brother, who is desperately trying to get her to. She pauses beside Deaton, who holds Payton in his arms. “Time to go, Deaton,” she whispers and steps for the door.
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