My breath caught at his words. Our first date had started with Brandt texting me for a coffee date. He’d always been very forthcoming with his feelings. He’d made me feel precious and desired.
“Coffee sometime would be nice. I can’t promise anything. I’ll need to take this one day at a time.”
He stood. “I just need a chance. That’s all I’m asking for. As long as you feel anything for me, I can work with that.”
Loving Brandt was never the issue. My heart still beat for Brandt, and denying it would do both of us an injustice. We deserved to figure this out on our terms, rather than being at the mercy of drugs. I wrote my number on a piece of paper and slid it across the counter. Brandt took it and smiled before putting it in his pocket. He walked to my side, and I could smell his cologne. It was cologne I’d gotten him when we started dating. The scent was a perfect balance between bold and understated with an earthy fragrance. He kept a safe distance, and I was glad. I wasn’t ready for anything more than coffee, but the familiar feeling was hard to keep at a distance. Brandt’s pull became stronger.
The timer went off for the cornbread, breaking the connection between us. I removed the cornbread, placing it on a trivet on the counter. When I turned, Brandt pierced me with his blue eyes and a huge megawatt smile.
“Thanks for giving me a chance I don’t deserve, Nikola. I’m going to make you mine again, even if it takes me the rest of my life to prove to you that I’m worthy. I never stopped loving you, even when I was messed up. The only reason I didn’t come after you when I got out of rehab was that I was too scared I’d fuck up your life even more.”
I didn’t know what to say. My skin tingled at his words. In the time Brandt had been here, my body felt more alive than it had since I’d last been in his arms.
Looking at the floor, I responded, “I’ve thought about you, too. About what we had.”
I still loved Brandt. At the end of the day, though, love wasn’t always what mattered.
MY MIND FORCED my body to remain planted after hearing Nikola agree to go to coffee with me. She’d thought about me, too. That was a good fucking thing. I wanted to take her in my arms and sink so deep inside her that she’d never forget what it felt like to be connected. Nikola seemed confused, like she wanted to come to me, but held herself back. The familiar spark of love was there, but I’d have to bide my time and earn her trust.
“I’ll see myself out, Nikola. Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year, Brandt.”
I was heading for the door when Anne came up the stairs. “Can you stay for lunch?” Her Georgia hospitality was like none other.
I shook my head. “I don’t want to push my luck. I got a coffee date.”
Anne gave me a sweet wink. “Don’t be a stranger. Thanks for stopping by.”
“I promise. Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year, Brandt.”
I gave Anne a quick wave before I hurried out to my SUV, jumping into the car and cranking the heat up. I pulled out of the driveway and headed east, back toward my place. At a four-way stop, I parked in a deserted parking lot of a gas station and pulled out my phone.
Me: Are you free for coffee tomorrow?
A couple of minutes passed before I received a response.
Nikola: You didn’t wait long. Reminds me of that first date we had.
Me: I have this girl’s heart to win back. Not much time to waste.
Nikola: Do I know her? I hope I do. She sounds like a lucky girl.
I smiled. She made me work for it.
Me: I’d say the chances are pretty good.
Nikola: Hmm…maybe I should consult my Magic 8 Ball.
Me: That damn thing has to be on my side this time. I can feel it.
Nikola: Hold please. I’m asking the wisest of all balls.
Every damn time I asked the Magic 8 Ball, it gave me some fucked-up answer that worked against me. I hated that thing, and Nikola loved using it on me. We’d had some pretty spectacular bouts of fucking thanks to that thing. Sometimes, though, it seemed to give me a bad case of blue balls. I’d give anything to have Nikola back. It had all started when we saw the Magic 8 Ball in a store. We’d been debating where to go on vacation—the beach or the mountains. I’d agreed to go with whatever the Magic 8 Ball said. It voted for the mountains, Nikola’s choice. From then on, that ball had been a pain in my ass.
Nikola: Looks like you’re in luck. You got a “Yes.”
Me: Finally! That damn thing gave me a break! Are you free tomorrow?
Nikola: Should I consult the 8 Ball again?
Me: No, let’s not push my luck today.
I pictured her laughing in the kitchen.
Nikola: Yes, I’m free. Does nine a.m. work? Or is that too early? Where do you want to meet?
Smiling that she’d picked the same time as our first date, I typed a response.
Me: Nine works. How about we meet at our coffee place?
Nikola: I’d love that.
Before I could respond, another text came through.
Nikola: I’m scared, Brandt.
Seeing those words on my phone was a knife in the gut. I never wanted Nikola to be scared, though she had every right to be. I hoped our old coffee shop would help. Kennedy’s was where I’d met up with Nikola after I got her number at the concert.
Me: I understand. I’ll give you all the time you need, and I’ll try to never push you. I’m not giving up on us.
Nikola: Thank you for coming for me.
Me: I always will. I’ll be there tomorrow at nine.
Nikola: See you tomorrow.
Tomorrow. We had a chance to get to know each other again. I was still thinking about that moment when she’d looked at her phone and seemed worried. Hopefully, it was only a matter of time before what bothered her was considered my business again.
I texted an update to my sponsor.
Me: Nikola agreed to meet me for coffee. Thanks again for everything.
Quentin: That was fast! I’m happy for you. Stay grounded and true to yourself. What is meant to be will be. If you need me, I’m here.
Me: I know. Thanks.
I put my phone away and drove toward my house. I needed another shower and to change into slacks and a dress shirt before going to my mum’s. For now, I wasn’t going to say anything to her. She loved Nikola, and I think it devastated Mum when I’d lost her. Mum thought we had the same love as she had.
My dad died when I was ten. He was British. My mum was American. We always laughed when he called her “Mum” and it stuck. My accent was extremely faint to the point of being nonexistent, but it was comforting to hear myself sometimes sounding like my dad. We boys had been my dad’s world, and it had been heartbreaking when an officer came to our house to tell us he’d been killed in Iraq. The loss of my dad was still acute, nearly twenty years later.
Coffee was a huge step for Nikola and me. It had been just as big of a step the first time she’d agreed to meet me at Kennedy’s. An involuntary smile spread across my face as I thought about the night I first saw the woman who would change everything for me.
The concert had just ended. I was with Adam and my brother, Logan. The air smelled of beer and sweat, and the heat of the day lingered in the humid night. We were out celebrating the success of the club. The crowd was like a herd of elephants, all trying to make it to the parking lot. It was a beautiful summer night, and stars shone brightly in the clear sky. We were approaching a chain-link fence.
I nodded to the guys. “Why don’t we stand over here while the crowd clears out? No need to wait in our car, all cramped up.”
“Sounds good,” Logan replied. We leaned against the fence. He was a younger version of me with short hair and no tats.
I ran my fingers through my hair to get it out of my face.
Adam was looking at e-mails on his phone. “Our new security system should be installed in two days. I want the club side locked up tight. No fuckups.”
“Same her
e. We’ll get it figured out.”
Adam was a rule follower. He wanted everything followed to a T. He’d started speaking again when an auburn-haired goddess in a short, frayed skirt walked by. She had on cowboy boots and a tight-fitting tank. I normally didn’t go for the cowgirl type, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I pushed off the fence and looked to Adam and Logan. “I’ll be right back.”
“We’ll leave your ass,” my brother called after me.
I flipped him the bird and heard them laughing.
I jogged up to the girl—she was now standing with two friends. “Hey, there.”
She looked over and smirked. “Well, hey there.”
This mystery woman started walking. Normally, girls flirted with me, and it was easy to start a conversation. Whoever she was, she’d piqued my interest.
“Enjoy the concert?”
I saw a smile on her lips and couldn’t help but smile back. “Sure did. You?”
“I did. But I know what would make it the best concert for both of us.”
The girls with her giggled. She turned my way, an eyebrow arched as if expecting some lame line. “Oh yeah, what’s that?”
“A coffee date.”
She stopped, so I did, too. “Coffee?” Her voice skeptical. “Is that code for something? That’s a new one.”
I knew where she was going with that, and I played dumb, trying to hide my smirk. “Besides a caffeine fix, I’m not sure what it would be code for. Care to enlighten me?”
I noticed her friends staring.
She gave me a smile. “If I have to enlighten you here, then I would say there’s another problem that you should probably be concerned about.”
She was a breath of fresh air. I chuckled. “I’m Brandt. Have coffee with me. Just coffee.”
Her eyes sparkled, and we were momentarily lost in each other’s gaze. Finally, someone bumped her and she fell forward. I caught her, loving how her waist felt in my hands. I wasn’t letting go until she said, “Yes.”
She looked up. I wanted nothing more than to push that wayward bit of hair behind her ear, but I left my hands on her hips.
“Just coffee?” she asked, suddenly shy.
“Just coffee…for now. We’ll see where it goes.” There was something strong between us—a hurricane force.
She didn’t immediately shoot me down, which was a good thing. Still, my breath caught in my throat as I waited for her answer.
Finally, she spoke, “I’m Nikola, and I’ll give you my number. If you remember it, text me, and I’ll meet you for coffee. It’s 555-555-5689.” She stretched up on her toes and whispered, “I hope I get a text from you.”
Her breath tickled my ear, and I wanted to turn my face and kiss her. Nikola backed out of my arms, turned, and sashayed away.
Shit. Shit. Shit. I started repeating the number in my head while I fumbled for my phone. Was it 5689 or 5698 or something else? Fuck. I decided to go with 5689.
While she was still visible, I typed a quick text. If I had to, I’d chase her again. I didn’t care what she thought. You’d have to be numb not to feel the energy between us.
Me: How about Kennedy’s Coffee tomorrow at nine?
Nikola laughed with her friends. She reached for the front pocket of her skirt and pulled out her phone. After she read it, she turned and smiled at me as she typed.
Nikola: That was fast. I think you have yourself a date. See you then.
Me: Great. See you then.
We were both smiling. Nikola gave me a little wave, turned, and walked away with her friends. We had something special…I could feel it.
My mind focused again on tomorrow’s coffee date. I hoped for the same result as the last time we met at Kennedy’s. And, maybe, instead of a few years of happiness, it would be a lifetime this time around.
But I knew what was coming tomorrow. Tomorrow Nikola was going to want answers. She was going to get the truth.
I pulled up to my mum’s house, feeling fresh from a shower. Adam and Ainsley were already here, as was my brother, Logan. It had been a while since I’d seen him. When I got inside, everyone made fun of me for being stubborn and not wearing a coat. I just shrugged.
My mum’s laughter filled the room. She never remarried after losing my dad. Recently, I’d asked my mum why she hadn’t dated since my dad had died. It was right after my one hookup, and I felt empty and guilty. Her response had been simple.
She’d said, “I had the ultimate when it came to love, and that’s enough to last the rest of my life. When I’m lonely, I wrap myself in the memories of him. That’s enough for me. Anything else would pale in comparison—I can’t settle for second best.”
It made sense. After that, I refused to settle for second best—even if that meant a lonely life. I used memories of Nikola and me to help soothe all the regret I felt each night.
The aroma of cooking ham and collards filled the room. Taking it all in, I salivated. My mum kept the house she and my dad bought together. It felt like home. Ainsley, wearing a red dress, stood at the bar arranging cookies on a platter. Mum stood at the counter, wearing a green apron, with her shoulder-length brown that she’d recently cut. My brother, Logan, tried to sneak bites from the food on the bar.
As I walked past my brother, I ruffled his hair. He ducked out of my reach.
“Hey, I’m going out later,” he said. “Don’t mess with perfection.”
Logan slugged me in the shoulder as he stood. My mum smiled at our playful banter. Logan and I had always gotten along well.
I greeted everyone. “Where’s your man-friend, Ainsley?”
Ainsley giggled as my mum walked up to me. Nora, our bartender at the club and Ainsley’s best friend, had told me about the ridiculous term Ainsley had given Adam in a moment of panic at the grocery store.
“The manfriend is about to go to the store to get some ice. I bet he’d like the company. Faith is teaching me the art of making the best collards.”
Faith was my mum, and she’d always insisted on my friends calling her by her first name. “Well, you’ve come to the right place. Mum knows her stuff.”
My mum chuckled as she gave me a hug. “You might be a bit biased.” She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “I love having my boys here.”
I hugged her back. Logan had made his way to the stove and tried to sneak some ham while mum was distracted.
“Damn straight, I’m biased! You need help, or can I head out with Adam?”
“Logan, get your hands out of the ham,” my mum scolded.
Logan shot away from the counter like it was on fire. We laughed. Mum had eyes in the back of her head. Now, she looked me over. She’d always said I looked like my dad. “You seem happier today. Anything good I should know about?”
“Just a good day, Mum. New year, new beginning.”
She gave me a soft smile. “Good. I’m happy to hear that.”
Logan’s phone rang and he walked out of the kitchen, saying, “I need to take this. I’ll be right back.”
Adam walked in. I cocked my head to the side. “Hey, manfriend? You up for some company?”
He looked at Ainsley as she mashed her lips together, trying to stifle a laugh.
“This is your fault, you know, baby. It’s one of the reasons I need to get you down that aisle sooner rather than later.”
Adam’s tone was full of love. It was amazing how much his outlook had changed so quickly. When you meet the right person, nothing else matters. He’d tried to keep her at a distance with his damn “rules,” but love had won. I hoped that was in my future, too.
Ainsley blew him a kiss. “Deep down, you love your nickname. No matter when you get me down the aisle, you’re stuck with it.” She giggled as he gave her a kiss.
Now that I had another chance at love, my stomach didn’t hurt when I saw them together. She pushed him away. “Go get ice. Take your MFS with you.”
My mum laughed at the exchange and watched Adam with loving eyes. I knew she’d
also thought he’d never find this kind of happiness.
I couldn’t help but ask, “MFS?”
Adam walked toward me quickly, “You don’t want to know. You’re about to get tagged with a nickname. Walk away—fast.”
“Oh, hell. Never mind. Don’t answer, Ainsley.”
We left the kitchen as Ainsley called out, “You’re the manfriend’s sidekick!”
Adam laughed as I muttered, “Fuck.”
We headed to the gas station. Not even out of the neighborhood, I blurted, “I saw Nikola last night. She ran off when she saw me with this random girl. Long story short, I explained everything and Nikola has agreed to have coffee with me tomorrow.”
Adam stopped the car in the middle of the road and looked at me. “Are you shitting me? Or did you grow a pair of balls and go after your woman?”
“I grew a pair, and I’m going to fight for her. It’s going to take time, and she’ll have to learn to trust me again, but she’s at least giving me a shot.” It felt good to get it out in the open. I needed someone to talk to that wouldn’t push me and ask for constant updates, like my sponsor. Adam was always safe—I could trust him with anything.
The car started to move again. “I’m glad, Brandt. Regardless of what happened, you still deserve to be happy. You and Nikola both deserve that.”
“Thanks. I’m finally starting to believe it. Does Ainsley know what happened with the drugs yet?”
I figured she had an inkling, considering I’d helped find an interventionist when her mom had a breakdown, but I didn’t know how much she knew. It was on my mind as we pulled into the gas station. The streets were empty and we were the only customers there.
Adam replied, “I think she has an idea, but we’ve never talked specifics. She won’t push, either. I promised I’d never tell anyone.”
Domino Effect Page 4