For a second, I remembered someone was in the room with us. But when our tongues met, it was only Brandt and me. He pulled back. “Have fun. Adam and I will figure out dinner.”
“I will.”
I had butterflies in my stomach. The remaining pieces of ice around my heart began to melt. He gave me a smile before giving me one last hard kiss.
Ainsley tried not to laugh. I looked toward her. “Are you ready?”
“Yes. I can’t wait.”
We were walking to the back of the house when I heard Adam tell Brandt, “Welcome to the pussy-whipped club. It’s a great place to be.”
“Hell yeah, it is. I’ve missed it.” Brandt sounded proud.
Ainsley and I looked at each other and laughed as we said, “Men.”
IT WAS FEBRUARY second. Today would have been the day, per the Blue Balls Timer, I would have been allowed to start seducing Nikola if we hadn’t had sex yet. Thank fuck we hadn’t waited. We’d agreed that not having sex put us more on edge. In the end, we wanted the same thing—each other.
Quentin had asked if I wanted to meet to catch up, and I did. A lot had happened since I’d left the diner to get Nikola back after our alcohol argument. I felt centered now, even though I was spread a bit thin between the long hours at the club and spending so much time with Nikola. That was what had driven me to try cocaine before. But this time, the fear of losing what I loved would keep me from going back to drugs. I’d find a healthy balance. Nikola had been traveling. She’d stay some with me and some with Anne. I wanted her with me all the time, but that would come eventually.
I was on my way to Anne’s. She’d invited Nikola and me over for dinner. Nikola had gone over there earlier to spend some time with her. After landing the Livingston Cleaning Products account, life had been busy. She and Ainsley would work at Anne’s a few times a week together. Nikola kept saying that she didn’t know what she would have done without Ainsley. The girls were a good fit and were becoming closer.
Parking in the driveway, I shut off my vehicle. Through the dining room window, I could see Anne and Nikola cooking. Nikola talked animatedly while wearing a blue-and-white-checked apron. Anne stirred something as steam rose from a pot on the stove. I got out of the car and headed to the door off the carport. I was family again, and it felt fucking great.
Opening the door, I walked in. “Honey, I’m home!”
Anne turned and winked. “I think you’re a little young for me. Don’t they call that a cougar or a lion or something?”
The aroma of dinner cooking assaulted my senses. Ham sizzled in the frying pan.
I gave Anne a kiss on the cheek while she continued to stir. “You’ll never be too old for me.”
Nikola called from behind. “Hey, what about me?”
I picked Nikola up and twirled her around. Little sounds of joy emitted from her as her green eyes sparkled with happiness. Nothing would ever sound better to me than Nikola’s happiness. Stopping before I became too dizzy, I set her down and let her slide down my body.
“You’re my ultimate. I missed you.”
She stilled as I bent down and gave her a sweet kiss. Nikola whispered against me, “I missed you, too. Supper is almost ready. Go wash up.”
“It smells incredible. I’ll be right back.”
Being back here, like this, was perfect. It let me leave the pressures of life behind me.
Full from dinner, I pushed back my chair. “Anne, I missed your fried okra and cornbread.”
“Well, keep coming by and you’ll keep getting it.” She gave me a pat on the back as she made her way to the kitchen. I followed with my plate and the platter of ham. “Nikola says you guys are going to your mom’s house next week.”
I put the ham on the counter as I responded, “We are. Mum’s on a cruise with her friends for two weeks. We’re going over the day after she gets back.”
Anne started storing the leftover food in the fridge. “That’ll be nice. I know Nikola has always loved your mom.”
“My mum feels the same way about her.” Nikola was the daughter that my mum had never had.
Nikola called from the dining room, “I’ll be right back.”
I loaded the dishwasher with dishes from the sink.
Anne deposited more dishes in the sink. “You and Nikola seem happy.”
Stopping, I gave Anne my full attention. “We are. It finally feels like things are how they should have been all along if I hadn’t fu—I mean messed it up.”
Anne smiled with her warm blue eyes. “Brandt, sometimes it takes losing what’s important to put it in perspective. You will always know what it feels like to not have each other. For many people, that knowledge happens too late, and their life turns into a list of regrets. It’s through regret that we find our true north to guide us through storms.”
“Thank you.” I hugged Anne tightly to me.
Nikola came into the room and caught my eye. She was my air. I needed her in my arms to know I wasn’t dreaming. Over the last year, there’d been many nights I’d dreamed we were together, only to wake to the harsh truth of losing her. I brought her to me and hugged her. She must have felt the need to connect, too, as I felt her fingers dig into my shirt. There was no way I’d ever let her go again. Anne quietly excused herself.
Nikola pulled back. “Are we still going to the club tonight?”
So far, Nikola and I hadn’t visited the sex club side of Club Envy. We’d only been to the bar side. The raw passion between the two of us was ready to ignite. When Nikola had suggested us going to the club, I’d made all the arrangements. I wasn’t sure how this would go, or if the club scene was still us. We’d changed a lot, but something still hummed between us.
“Yes. Whenever you’re ready, we can head that way.” I gave her a quick kiss.
“Grandmama asked if we’d be up for a round of Rook tonight. I said yes. Let’s play one game, then we can be on our way—if that’s okay.”
Rook was a game we used to play with Nikola’s grandfather. After he passed, we created a version for three players. I’d never played before meeting Nikola. Anne was a hell of a player—she’d wipe the board clean almost every time.
I grazed Nikola’s nose with mine. “Sounds good. How about we make a bet?”
Her eyes lit up. “What are the terms?”
“If I beat you, I want you to do a striptease for me tonight.” I raised an eyebrow.
A spark ignited in her eyes. Nikola loved a challenge. “If I beat you, you have to use my Magic 8 Ball for one question of my choosing.”
I hated that damn thing. We stared at each other, contemplating the bet. Nikola held out her hand and cocked her head. Her auburn hair was piled up on her head.
We shook and both said, “Deal.”
I stood tall as she called, “Grandmama, are you ready to play? I have a bet to win.” She turned to me. “You don’t intimidate me with that look. Sexy, but ineffective.”
I slapped her ass, and she yelped.
Anne called from the other room, “Oh dear, not this again. I’ll get the cards.”
Spinning Nikola around, I cornered her against the wall and gave her another kiss. “Start preparing your routine, baby. I want it hot. I seem to recall you lost our last bet.”
She nipped my lip. “I hope you’re not a sore loser. I can feel the cards are going to be in my favor.”
Anne hummed in the other room, and Nikola giggled, ducking under my arms to get to the card table in the far corner of the living room. We sat as Anne started coughing. I knew Nikola was concerned about her. Whenever Anne was sick, Nikola would worry.
Nikola got a glass of water from the kitchen. “Grandmama, we’re going back to the doctor next week. I thought this was supposed to be cleared up.”
Anne took a sip and got the coughing under control. “I get this bronchitis every winter, and you’re always concerned. It takes it a while to go away. Remember?”
“Yes, but I always make you go back to the doctor.�
�� Nikola gave Anne a kiss on the cheek before sitting at the table.
Anne masterfully dealt the cards. “I’ll make another appointment.”
Nikola picked up her cards with a smile on her face. Anne always indulged Nikola with these types of things.
Turning over the top card, Anne said, “What’s your bid, Brandt? I wonder who’s going to have that bird.”
Looking at my hand, I hoped my luck turned or else the damn 8 Ball and I were about to be reacquainted.
Nikola sat in the passenger seat of her car with her lips pressed together. The Spice Girls played low on the radio. They’d been one of her favorite bands for years. I glanced over at her again, and when I saw her bare legs, I had to resist taking her back home and stripping her naked. She had on white and silver strapless top with no bra. Her skirt was more like a bandana, as little skin that it covered. It matched the silver in her shirt. Her killer fuck-me heels were about to send me over the edge.
We’d left Anne’s and gone back to my place to get ready and take one car to the club. Nikola bounced in the seat. “Go ahead. I know you’re dying to brag.”
She started squirming, exclaiming, “I won! I won! I won!” Her auburn hair was all over the place as wiggled around. “Should we go ahead and ask the question?”
I knew it was a rhetorical question, so I stayed silent. She reached into her purse and brought out her miniature version of the ball. The lights from the dashboard created a faint glow on Nikola. She was gorgeous.
“Let’s give this a trial run. This does not count. I want to know if the Magic 8 Ball is going to love you or hate you tonight.”
Please. Please. Please, Magic 8 Ball, love me tonight. I’d never admit I’d mentally pleaded with that idiotic toy.
“Let’s see.”
She held the ball. “Magic 8 Ball, should I take my top down so Brandt can look at me until we get to the club?”
Please. Please. Please, Magic 8 Ball, love me tonight. Nikola slowly turned over the ball. “The 8 Ball has spoken. The answer is—,” She looked over and giggled. Please, 8 Ball, love me tonight. Nikola cleared her throat. “The answer is—yes definitely.”
“Hell yeah! Me and the 8 Ball are getting along great tonight. Take down your shirt, baby.”
My windows were tinted dark, so no one could see in, but I was about to get one hell of a show.
Nikola leaned back in her seat. With hardly any effort, she pulled down her top, exposing her perky tits with their pink tips. I sped up, trying to get to the club quicker.
“Are you in a hurry?” The teasing tone had me getting harder.
“Touch your right nipple. Roll it between your fingers.”
She complied without even questioning. Her back arched slightly. My hand crept to the breast closest to me. With my index finger, I lightly traced the curve. She was getting herself worked up. A wild abandonment consumed Nikola when she let her guard down, trusting me completely. Knowing I had her trust back made my heart grow huge.
Turning her head my way, Nikola licked her lips and asked, “Are we going to use a room tonight at the club?”
The club sign came into view, so Nikola adjusted her top and sat back up. Her leg bounced. Clearly, nerves were beginning to take over as Nikola looked at the club. Club Envy had six private rooms in total, and two additional rooms—one communal and one for exhibitionism. I liked sex in public places, but I’d never wanted anyone else to see Nikola in the thralls of an orgasm. We hadn’t talked about using a room, but I’d had our private one cleaned just in case. Nikola and I had our own room off of my office. Since our breakup, I’d hardly used the office and hadn’t been back to that room. This seemed like a big step for us, like coming here tonight would complete the circle. We’d be free from the pressures of our past and able to navigate our future anew.
When Adam started falling for Ainsley, he’d converted the room off of his office into a special room, like I had for Nikola. Adam and I never spoke of mine and Nikola’s room or my abandoned office, and I hadn’t reminded him. I’d thought it ‘might spook him’ since he’d been wrapped up in all his boundaries and rules.
I wanted to surprise her tonight, since we’d been back together for a month. “I do have us a room, if we want to use it.”
“I do.”
I glanced over and she nodded. If there was any hesitation on her part, we’d leave. I pulled up to the club. It was around eleven.
Every corner of this club had a piece of Nikola and me, it seemed. It’s what made working there while we were apart bittersweet. I got out and met her on the passenger side. Leaning down, I kissed her sweet lips.
My hair came forward and brushed her cheeks. I tasted her mouth, barely. She looked me in the eyes. “Brandt, I want to be honest. I’m nervous. I want to go in there. I keep thinking about how we used to be, and I feel like we have to be that way tonight. What if we aren’t the same?”
Night traffic sounds pierced the air. Tires screeching sounded off in the distance. I put my forehead to hers. “A few minutes ago, in the car, did that feel like us?”
“Yes.”
“We have to let go of the past and accept who we are now. If we get in there and we aren’t ready, we’ll leave. No pressure. Adam and Ainsley should be here. Let’s go see them, and we’ll see how things go. If the club scene isn’t for us anymore, then it’s not, and that’s okay. But, so far, everything we’ve done is better—for me at least.”
I’d learned from Quentin that I had to live in the now and look to the future. The past wouldn’t lead me anywhere good. That terrified me, and I refused to look back.
“It is better. Thank you. I love you, Brandt.”
“I love you, too. As long as we have each other, that’s all I care about. Nikola, there are things that are different about us now. We don’t drink, we aren’t living together, you work more hours, and I meet with a sponsor. But there are many things that are the same—like our love for each other. We can leave now if you want to.”
She looked around. Across the street, a crowd came around the corner, whooping and hollering. “Thank you for being understanding. I know sometimes I seem like a swinging pendulum, but I want to go in the club.”
I took her hand. “We’re in this together. Are you ready?”
“Yes.” She walked, and I followed.
We came to the side entrance of the red brick club. Trigger was at the door. The girls liked him, with his messy blond hair. He always wanted me to tag along when he went to the bars. I’d go for a few hours, have a beer, then leave—like on New Year’s Eve. Trigger hadn’t worked here when Nikola and I first dated.
“Hey, Brandt. All’s good. Matt has everything under control. Adam and Ainsley are at the bar.” He reached into his pocket. “Adam said you’d need these.”
Trigger handed me two white bracelets. It was our way of identifying people at the club. There were two colors: black and white. Black was for nonmembers who’d been granted a visitor’s pass. They weren’t allowed to engage in sexual activity. White bands were for members who had exclusive partners. If someone wore either color, they were not to be approached. No bracelet was fair game. Adam was strict on the rules, and I supported it.
Nikola knew what the bracelets meant as I handed her one to put on. “Thanks, Trigger. This is Nikola, by the way.”
They shook hands, and Trigger gave her a friendly smile. He respected the rules of the club. Hell, he wanted nothing to do with exclusivity or dating. One day, someone was going to knock him off kilter and fix that thinking.
Nikola and I walked through the club. Low, erotic pulsing infiltrated our bodies. Normally, it did nothing for me, but my dick was at full attention tonight. Nikola was beautiful, her long, auburn hair cascading down her back in big curls. The sex club side had a retro style with frosted glass tables of all sizes surrounded by odd-shaped chairs. Multi-colored lights illuminated the room—and the bar area—with a sexy glow.
We spotted Adam and Ainsley at the bar. For
now, I’d give Nikola a little space to see how she felt about being here. She didn’t need pressure. If she wanted to stay, then I’d take her to our room. Adam and Ainsley were talking to Nora. Nora changed her hair color frequently and this week she had coal-black hair with bright blue streaks in it. Nora loved pranks, and her discovering my blue balls timer had meant endless torture. Blue cattle balls that usually hung from trucks kept appearing in random places. I had a feeling that Adam had been behind it because everyone else—other than Nora—would give me weird looks when I happened across a set before tossing them in the garbage.
Ainsley saw us out of the corner of her eye, and she turned to Nikola. Ainsley wore some sort of itty-bitty halter dress that I’m sure had Adam ready to pound the shit out of anyone who looked her way.
“Yay, you’re here! Adam said you were coming. How was dinner at Anne’s?” Ainsley gave Nikola a hug.
Nikola grinned. “It was great. We played Rook after dinner, and Brandt lost a bet.”
Nora sat my standard bottle of beer on the bar. It was out of habit, even though I’d told her I didn’t drink anymore. Nora chimed as she hit the countertop. “Here’s to the timer almost being up. Hopefully those balls aren’t too blue.” Nora turned to Nikola. “Make him suffer.”
Nikola winked. “Oh, I will.”
As Nora walked to the next customer, she called to Ainsley, “I like her. We need a girl’s night.”
The bar was getting crowded with a sudden influx of thirsty members. I glanced at the beer and felt no desire to drink it. I knew Nikola saw Nora set the beer down, but she continued her conversation with Ainsley, not even glancing to see what I was doing. I liked that. Nikola was beginning to trust me. I pushed the beer toward Nora. She made eye contact and mouthed the word, Sorry. Panic set in as Nora hurried to take the beer. I winked to let her know it was okay as I turned toward Adam and put my hand on Nikola’s back. She leaned into my touch. I fucking loved it.
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