by Lisa N. Paul
Soon after they had started dating, Danny explained that he had no intentions of re-uping once his four-year contract with the army was complete. To say his admission made her happy would have been an understatement. When he mapped out his plan to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a firefighter like Allan and Neal, some of her excitement was extinguished. Fires were dangerous, but she kept her anxieties to herself. After ten months of dating—ten overwhelmingly happy, incredibly intense, sexy, mind-blowing months of dating—the thought of him running into burning buildings instead of from them scared the shit out of her.
“What’s the matter, honey?”
“What?” Julie stared up into the gaze that claimed her heart more and more each day.
“You’re biting your upper lip, baby.” Danny’s roughened thumb stroked across her lip, releasing it from its imprisonment. “Bottom lip means you’re wanting; top means you’re worrying. Talk to me.”
This is it. You need to tell him; no more dancing around the issue. In all the time they had spent together—at Chester’s while she worked, at her house on the nights they stayed together, the trip to meet his family, the hours of talking and making love until the sun came up, fucking when gentle just wasn’t enough for either of them, the possessiveness he emitted as he watched her tending bar, the jealousy she felt when women tried to flirt with him and she could do nothing but serve drinks and smile—in all that time spent loving on one another, they had never professed it to one another.
The lack of words hadn’t been an issue, not even a thought really, as they were affectionate and vocal about their pleasure in each other. She’d say she loved his touch, his laugh, his eyes. He returned with he loved her smile, her lips, her heart, and her sweet pussy, but never had they crossed that final threshold. He was hers, and she his. They were young, but she believed in him, in them. She knew in her heart that he would never hurt her. Yet each time the image of him surrounded by flames crossed her mind, she got breathless, panicked, and petrified. The idea of losing him was more frightening than any of the losses she’d dealt with before. Emotions built up in her chest like champagne bubbles, trying to reach the surface without care as to which got there first.
“I’m yours, Danny, and I love you,” she blurted. “I’ll support you and your decisions, but I’ve got to be honest, the thought of you fighting fires scares the shit out of me. The thought of losing you…I won’t let myself go there.”
Danny’s chest expanded. His eyes softened the way they did when he made slow, sweet love to her, the way they did when she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down so she could kiss him, the way they did the first time she’d made him blueberry pancakes after learning from his father that blueberry was his favorite. It was his love look, and she did, in fact, love it.
“You love me, huh?” His long, muscled arms circled around her waist, securing her in a hug, a feeling she longed for when they were apart. “Well, thank God for that, honey, because I’ve been in love with you since the morning I woke up hung over with nothing but a fuzzy memory, a glass of water, and a couple of aspirin.”
What? Astonished by his admission, she stood silently for a beat.
“Don’t look so surprised, Jules. You’ve known that you love me if not just as long, then close enough,” he murmured into the top of her head. “I learned back in the beginning of our relationship that if I had doubts, I’d ask you instead of assuming. No doubts here. Just didn’t wanna rush you, sweetheart, make you admit something you weren’t ready for. That being said, I was only giving you until July to come to terms with it. It was killing me not to tell you every fuckin’ day how much you owned me.”
“J-July?” Julie stammered.
“Yeah, honey, July. You couldn’t get those words that I’ve seen floating around in your eyes out of your mouth by our one-year anniversary, I was going in after them.”
An unrestrained laugh burst from Julie’s chest. “Danny, oh my God, baby, I wasn’t holding back.” The sharp glare he gave her made her adjust the statement. “Okay, I wasn’t holding back intentionally. Clearly I love you, you said yourself you knew it. Guess what? I knew you felt the same about me. I just… I was scared to admit it, okay?” Out loud, her reasons sounded a bit juvenile, but after what she had been through, juvenile worked for her.
“Talk to me, honey,” Danny repeated.
“I’ve lost the only people I ever loved. Admitting, even to myself, how I felt about you scared me. Deep down I knew my feelings, hell, on the surface I knew them, but I couldn’t voice them without feeling selfish.”
“Selfish?” He cocked his head. “In what way?”
“I guess I was scared if I admitted my feelings, something would happen to you. And you, Danny Marcus, are the most amazing man I’ve ever met. The world deserves to have you in it.” The feel of his rough hand on her cheek was enough to get the butterflies flapping in her belly.
“I’m certainly not complaining, baby, but what changed your mind?”
She inhaled deeply before letting the breath out slowly. “In a couple of months, you’ll be discharged from the army and start the Fire Training Academy. You’re going to be a firefighter.”
The process was a lengthy one though. The application process took almost twelve months, then he’d go through twenty-one weeks of training. Afterward, he needed to find a job. Hopefully his brother’s friend would pull through on that part.
Sighing, Julie closed her eyes, reached for the strength deep within her, and finished her thought. “You’re going to fight fires, Danny. It’s fucking dangerous. I can’t lose you. I won’t. So if you’re going to do this, you’ll damn well do it knowing I love you with my whole heart.”
***
INCREDIBLE. THAT WAS the only word he could use to describe the feeling surging through his body. Hmm, maybe invincible, indestructible, and head-over-fucking-ass in love. Yeah, those would work too.
“Honey?” He reluctantly placed a few inches between their bodies while keeping her hands firmly grasped in his own. “I know how much you love me. I feel it every single day, deep down in the marrow of my bones. I feel it because you own me.” He moved one hand to her chin and tilted her head back so he could look directly into her gray stare. “You…own…me. You’re part of the reason I’m on the path I’ve chosen. If I’m not fighting to make our world safer for you, the least I can do is watch over our little section of it.”
“But—”
“No, babe, listen, I know you’re scared. Firefighters, like soldiers, risk their lives every time they go into the field.” He slid his hand up her cheek and through her silken hair until he cupped her head. “But my father was a fighter, and Neal is too. The protective gear that’s issued is state-of-the-art stuff, honey. Plus, why do you think the training is so intensive? It’s gonna be fine. I’m gonna be fine. Promise.” The small hairs on the back of his neck prickled when he uttered that last part. Danny didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep, another lesson his father had drilled into him as a child, but Julie needed reassurance, and Danny believed in himself enough to make the statement.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she muttered before wrapping her arms tightly around him.
Smart woman, Julie was. The only response he gave was a tighter hug and a silent prayer that he’d never make a liar of himself.
Chapter Six
Now You’ve Got Her
“SCARED OR LIBERATED?” Chester asked as he slid an icy mug of beer in front of Danny.
“What’s that?” Danny barely heard the question because his eyes were glued to Julie’s firm, Daisy Duke-covered ass as she made her way from behind the bar to the storage room. The woman’s body could tempt a priest, and he was no saint.
Chester’s deep chuckle pulled Danny’s mind straight out of the gutter. “I asked if you were scared or liberated? Every soldier feels at least one of those things at the end of their service, son. So which is it?”
The questio
n wasn’t one he’d given any conscious thought to, but it had definitely swirled around in his chest over the past few weeks.
“Peace,” Danny finally replied.
He’d joined the army as a boy on a revenge mission. He’d wanted to avenge his brother’s death, his mother’s demise, and his family’s pain. He had dragons to slay and monsters to kill. What he got instead was a sense of unity, the strength of knowledge, and an understanding of his brother that he’d have never gotten had he not committed himself to the armed forces. Jeff had died believing in his country, fighting for his people, and honoring his oath. After four years, Danny was leaving the army as a grown man with his demons slain and his heart no longer numb. That last part had to do with the strawberry-blonde beauty that had invaded his life and colored it in a way he’d never noticed was missing.
“Peace,” the bar owner repeated. “I like that.”
Chester had become not just a mentor but a friend to Danny over the past year. When he learned that Chester had been one of Julie’s father’s friends, one of the people who’d kept tabs on Julie after her parents perished in Mexico City, Danny had felt a sense of gratitude to him. But when Julie explained just how the man had helped, that gratitude turned into unwavering loyalty.
“How did you end up at Chester’s?” Danny had asked over coffee and cinnamon rolls one morning.
The faraway look Julie sometimes wore when the past caught up with her flashed across her face, but instead of being paired with tear-filled eyes, it came with a smile.“Ahh, Chester. Apparently he came to the funeral.” She shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t remember most of that day. When we spoke after the fact, he explained that he didn’t approach me—something about too many people suffocating me with their need to feel good about themselves.” She and Danny laughed, knowing Chester would absolutely say something like that. “About a year after my parent’s deaths, I heard from Chester for the first time.”
“Wait.” Danny’s head snapped to attention. “What the fuck? He left you alone for nearly a goddamn year? What kind of an irresponsible son-of-a—”
“Danny.” Julie placed her hand on his arm, and the simple contact lowered his blood pressure instantly. “I said it was the first I’d heard from him, not the first he’d checked on me. Remember what I told you the first night we got together? I was never really alone. Apparently Chester and my dad knew each other from boot camp and infantry training. They went separate ways after that, but they remained close. Chester stayed in the marines for many years after my dad got out, and apparently, Chester has people.”
“People?”
“Yeah, people. I didn’t ask many questions, but according to him, during one of our first conversations, his people had been keeping an eye on me. When the ‘well-wishers’ and the ‘sympathy parade’ got back to their real lives, he knew I’d need him. So he waited. Said he was a little surprised that it took as long as it did, but then again, he knew how amazing my parents were.”
“Okay…” Danny stretched out the word, not sure where the story was leading.
“One night, after I got home from work—I’d been waitressing seven days a week at a joint where they let me bartend two shifts out of twelve for extra cash and experience—I had a message on the answering machine from one Chester Murray. He explained who he was, how he knew me, and that he expected me—expected me—at his bar the following day or he’d send his people to collect me. That was all left in a sixty second message.”
Danny chuckled. “What’d you do?”
“What do you mean? You’ve heard his voice. I asked some people I worked with about his place to make sure it wasn’t too seedy, and I went to his bar the next day. Sure as shit didn’t want a man that sounded like that sending anyone to my house.”
Danny laughed. His woman was smart and had no idea how funny she was. Beautiful was something. Funny was something. Smart, funny, and beautiful was practically unheard of. “What happened when you got there?”
Julie’s eyes had danced with the memory. “I was dead on my feet when I walked into Chester’s Bar. That was back when I was pulling as many double shifts as I could in order to keep my mind occupied and my body out of this house.”
Danny thought back to when they had met and her schedule was jam-packed with hours. He remembered thinking she must have needed money, before he learned about her family. Then he realized she needed the hours, not the cash.
“Anyway, I shuffled up to the bar and had my very first encounter with infamous Bunny.” They simultaneously rolled their eyes. “From the scathing look she gave me the moment I asked to speak with Chester, you would have thought I’d shoved a picture of her, sans makeup and hairspray, in her face and threatened to release it to the media. She claimed he wasn’t there and that I’d wasted my trip. Thankfully his office door was open and when he heard me leaving my name, he came out to introduce himself, or I would have never come back. Bunny was a raving, territorial bitch. I mean, Chester’s great and all, but the man is old enough to be my dad. Eww!” She shivered. “I’m not that kind of girl.”
Julie explained how she’d turned down the job Chester offered her, but the old guy refused to give up on her. After a handful of offers over a handful of months, he wore her down and got her working under his roof. Respect for the guy who never gave up on a brother’s kid was something Danny would never forget.
Chester spoke, bringing Danny’s mind from out of the past. “The question, and it’s somethin’ you don’t need to answer as much as you just need to think on, is if you found your peace and you found your woman, then why are you running from one thrill-seeking mission to the next?”
The cool liquid turned to ice as it hit the back of Danny’s throat, frosting a path straight down to his stomach. “What the hell are you talking about? Firefighting runs in my blood.” Danny grunted. “It’s a goddamn honor.”
Pressing open palms against the bar top, Chester leaned forward, towering over the scarred pine. “I recommend you think on it, Marcus.” Chester’s next words came out slowly, and Danny couldn’t tell if Chester was speaking slowly on purpose or if it just seemed that way because of the truth he saw in the man’s eyes. “You made it through the army, boy. Four years of trainin’, fightin’, and prayin’ that you’d make it out differently than Jeff. And here you sit, drinkin’ a beer on the night of your discharge. Four motherfuckin’ years, Danny.
“You think that was hard?” he continued. “You think signing up for a war and leavin’ your family was difficult? Tryin’ to keep your mind focused in order to get your brothers to safety…you did that daily, no?” Chester placed two shot glasses on the bar, filled each with tequila, and slid one in Danny’s direction before nodding at Julie, who was tending to customers on the deck outside. “Now you got her. Her love, her pain, her loss, her happiness…all that is with you on every single call you get. Firefighters are amazing, boy. It takes heart, soul, and skill. You have that. You gave that. Four years you gave that. You sure you still wanna give it? Knowing what you have to lose…knowing what she could lose?”
Nausea churned in Danny’s gut. What the hell? This was his plan, their plan. He had always planned to be a firefighter like his father. The army had been off course, not this. “Chester, you’re wrong, man—”
The older guy raised a hand. “I don’t need answers tonight. In fact, I don’t need answers ever. It’s just a question I’ve been thinkin’ about. Do what makes you happy, and take care of our girl.”
Chapter Seven
Took Tommy Jones
“SERIOUSLY, THAT WAS the best Christmas I’ve had in years,” Julie said through a yawn. She unfolded her cramped legs, stretching yet again in the passenger seat of Danny’s Ford Ranger. The sleep she’d just woken from faded away as memories from the past few days replayed in her mind like the holiday music Danny’s father had insisted play throughout the house.
“You say that every year.” Danny grinned, his hand rubbing her upper thigh and sending tingles t
o her core.
“And I mean it every year.” She giggled.
They’d left North Carolina at the crack of dawn, and six hours later, they were almost home to a slush-covered Baltimore. After four years of marriage, the heat between them still snuffed out even the coldest temperatures.
“I love that you love spending time with my dad and Neal, honey.” Danny squeezed her thigh, his eyes never leaving the road.
Julie gripped his hand. “Danny, they’re my family too, and they have been for quite some time now. Being with them…” She sighed.
How could she put into words what Danny had given her when he gave her his last name? It sounded cliché, but she hadn’t just gotten a husband—she’d gotten a father, a brother, and an extended family of sorts. She got holidays back, something she’d thought gone forever. She got fatherly phone calls when she was feeling ill. She got a brotherly teasing when the situation arose, something she’d never known she was missing. While she’d never had the opportunity to meet Danny’s older brother, Jeff, or his mother, Renee, she still felt their love when she was in the Marcus home and she felt their loss while with the Marcus men.
“Being with them,” she continued, “brings me more comfort and happiness than you’ll ever know. Thank you for sharing them with me.” Even with his hand under hers, she was powerless to stop him as his palm inched up her jean-clad thigh to the seam between her legs.
“Everything I have is yours, honey,” he muttered as his middle finger pressed against the denim. “Everything you have is mine. We made those vows. We honor them.” His voice was rough as his left hand white-knuckled the steering wheel. “Unbutton your pants, baby. Gimme what’s mine. We’ll be home in no time. Neither of us is getting out of this fucking car until the windows are steamed and we both come… at least once.”