And with that, she scooped up the margarita and walked into the house, leaving me to make the short walk next door.
My heart was pounding harder with each step. There was no way he would talk to me. What if he slammed the door in my face, telling me to screw off? I wouldn’t blame him. I’d deserve it if he did, but from what I knew of Jeremy, he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t tell me to go away so rudely, but I’m sure he’d find a way to get me off his porch.
Time was up. I couldn’t wonder anymore how he’d react because before I knew it, I was standing at his door. After a deep breath, I knocked quickly and waited.
I heard his footsteps inside and then the fumbling of the doorknob. A second later, it swung open and I hated the fact the first thing I noticed was how good he looked. I must’ve caught him changing from wherever it was he’d been because when the door opened, he was still sliding his undershirt over his head, giving me a quick glimpse of his abdomen, which did not disappoint. As I was recovering from the ab show, my mind started guessing where he’d just got home from. I shouldn’t be concerned with where he was, but I was.
“What can I do for you, Beth?” he asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment.”
“Come in,” he said, stepping aside so I could walk in.
When I heard the door shut behind me, my heart started to pound again. What would I say to him? How would I apologize after the way I’d treated him. I decided there was no way around it. I just needed to say it.
“I’m sorry, Jeremy,” I began as we stood in his living room. “I’m sorry for how I treated you last night.”
I waited for him to say something and the silence seemed to last forever.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he finally said.
“The past year has been tough. I’m not the same person I was before my divorce and I wasn’t prepared for last night. I just reacted and I reacted badly. I didn’t mean a word of it though. I know you care about Noah and I’m sorry if I made you feel otherwise.”
“You don’t need to explain…” he said, but I interrupted.
“Yes, I do, because Noah and I have been so lucky to have gotten to know you and I’d hate to take that away from him…and from me.”
He was staring at me with those brown eyes and I tried reading his face to see what he was thinking. He wasn’t smiling, but he wasn’t frowning either. I wished he’d do something.
“I’d hate to see that too, Beth,” he finally said and I could feel myself starting to relax a little. “And I understand you not wanting to go out with me. It could change things and maybe that’s not a good thing.”
“But maybe it is,” I said softly and I watched his expression change. He’d accepted my rejection because I’d made my feelings clear last night, but what I’d said last night wasn’t what I wanted now.
I watched as a smile started to form on his mouth and the dimples began to emerge. Why did he have to have those damn dimples?
“What are you implying, Beth?”
“I’m implying that I’m accepting your invitation to take me out if you’re still offering.”
“I am most definitely still offering. Are you free tomorrow night?”
“I am. Amy’s here so she can watch Noah. What time should I be ready?”
“Six?” he asked and I nodded.
“I’ll see you at six then.”
His smile grew wider and I felt my heart pounding in my chest from the way he was looking at me, causing feelings in my stomach like I was a kid again and I thought I might even be blushing. I prayed he didn’t notice. He already knew I was a basket case, but I needed to at least pretend I had the romantic fortitude of a grown woman and not an adolescent.
I couldn’t take it anymore and I needed to leave before I said or did anything else foolish. I’d hit my limit for the time being. There might be a slim chance he still thought I was mostly normal.
“Good night, Beth. Looking forward to tomorrow,” he said as I opened the door. I turned to look at him, realizing how badly I did not want to leave.
“Me too,” I said, stepping outside and heading home.
Ten
What the hell had I agreed to? I didn’t date. I’d tried since separating with Darren and I’d failed. I’d failed miserably and if the butterflies in my stomach were any indication, tonight would be more of the same. Then again, maybe it could be different. This wasn’t a set up. This wasn’t some guy my friends thought would be great for me and in the end turned out to be a pompous ass trying to get laid. This was Jeremy and in ten minutes, he’d be picking me up for a date.
It was a warm night and I’d chosen another maxi skirt with a beige and black print and a black v-neck. It was casual, yet dressy, and I looked in the mirror once more, gliding on some lip gloss and running a brush over my hair that I’d left in loose waves past my shoulders. I took a breath, slid on my sandals and turned to head out to the living room to wait.
“Dammit!” I sighed to myself just as I’d entered the hallway, realizing I’d forgotten to put deodorant on after my shower. How could I forget something so important? My mind was everywhere. As I quickly swiped some under each arm, I prayed this was not indicative of how the date would go.
I told myself to stop being neurotic. It would be fine. We’d have dinner, maybe a few drinks and then he’d bring me home. It was like a night out with friends. I’d done it a million times, but this was different. This was a date and I needed to get in the right frame of mind.
I had no time to do that though because before I could, I heard a knock on the door. I quickly put the deodorant away, took another breath and headed out, summoning all my sensibility. Regardless of how the night went, I wanted Jeremy to think I was a strong, smart woman, not the moody bitch I’d displayed on more than one occasion.
Jeremy was already in the living room when I got there, Noah beside him. They were engaged in what appeared to be a very exciting conversation, or at least it was to Noah and Jeremy was just being a good sport. Jeremy stopped talking though when I walked in, standing up from where he’d been crouched talking to Noah. He didn’t say anything at first, but I saw the way his eyes moved over me, a little smile appearing on his face. He looked handsome in a pair of khakis and a navy blue polo shirt. I knew he’d just shaved because his face was smooth and I could only imagine how soft it was. His thick brown hair was tousled just enough to give him that sexy, messy look I liked so much.
“Hi, Beth,” he said as I walked towards him.
“Hey,” I said as he held the flowers out to me. Seriously? Was this guy for real? I couldn’t recall the last time I’d been given flowers, even when I was still married to Darren.
“Did my sister introduce herself?” I asked, gesturing to Amy who was sitting on the couch next to Spencer while they worked on an activity book together.
“Not formally,” Amy said, standing up and extending her hand to Jeremy. “Beth tells me you’re the same kid who used to work at Travers Market when we were kids.”
“I am.”
“It’s good to see you again, even if you didn’t bring me a box of Lemonheads,” she said and they both laughed. “Now,” she said, looking between us. “You two have a nice evening and don’t worry about anything here. I’ve got it under control.” Of course just as she said it, Brent pounced on Spencer and then Noah jumped in until they were just a big pile of little boys. “Seriously, Beth. I’ve got this. I’ve kept my two alive this long, I’ll be fine for one more night.”
I could hear Jeremy laughing under his breath as I reached over and hugged Amy.
“Have fun. Don’t rush home. Get some of that,” she whispered in my ear so only I could hear and I started laughing before I pulled away. I waved to Noah who was still piled on top of his cousins. He leapt off though the second I put my hands on the doorknob.
“Don’t go, Mommy!” he wailed, promptly latching onto my legs.
“I’ll be home soon, No
ah,” I said, scooping him up and hugging him.
“I wanna come!”
“You can’t come, baby.”
I started stroking his head and kissed him on the cheek, but he started to cry.
“You can come next time, Noah,” Jeremy said, patting him on the back. “Promise.”
Noah looked up with teary eyes, and then he started crying again. Amy came over and pried him off me.
“He’ll be fine, Beth. Just go,” Amy shouted over his wails, but I couldn’t move. I was weighted down by my guilt. I didn’t expect him to react like this and it broke my heart. “Go!” she shouted again and then I felt Jeremy’s hand on the small of my back, rushing me out the door.
I could still hear Noah’s cries as we walked towards Jeremy’s SUV. He opened the passenger side door for me and I got inside.
“Are you okay?” he asked me once he was in the driver’s seat.
“Yeah,” I said softly. “I didn’t expect him to react that way. It’s hard hearing him like that.”
“I know,” he said, resting his hand on my knee. “You think he’ll be okay?”
“He’ll be fine. It’ll just take a few minutes. He gets separation anxiety sometimes.”
“Do you wanna go check on him?”
“No. It’ll just make it worse.”
“Are you sure you’re up for this?”
“I am,” I told him, patting his hand that was still on my knee. “Let’s go.”
And with that, he turned the ignition, backed out of the carport and started down the road as I tried not to think about Noah.
“You look really nice,” he said after we’d been driving for a bit. “I wanted to tell you that earlier.”
“Thank you,” I said. “And thank you for the flowers. That was really sweet of you and very unexpected. You’re quite the gentleman, Jeremy Parrish.”
I could feel myself starting to relax, but then I heard my phone beep and I pulled it out, seeing a text from Amy. I quickly opened it, relieved to see it was a picture of Noah happily playing a game with Brent along with the message: He’s fine. Have fun!
“You’re smiling,” he said as I looked down at the phone.
“It was a text from Amy. Noah’s fine now and I promise, no more phone for the rest of the evening,” I said, sliding it back into my pocketbook.
“I don’t mind, Beth. You have a kid. It can’t be easy leaving him.”
“It’s not, but I need to do this,” I said, pausing for a second as I realized I was making it sound like our date was more of a chore than something I wanted to do. “That sounds bad, Jeremy. I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “This is something I want to do.”
“I wish you’d relax. I’m not analyzing everything you say. I’m just happy you’re here with me.”
He reached over, taking my hand with his and when I looked down at the way our fingers interlaced, I smiled. His hands were rough, but they were warm and I’d forgotten what it felt like to hold hands with someone. It was such a simple gesture, but one I’d missed.
“Me too,” I said, giving his hand a little squeeze. “Where are we going anyway?”
“Dinner. There’s this great place on the shore I want you to try.”
“Sounds good. I’m starving.”
“I promise you won’t be disappointed,” he said and a few minutes later he was pulling into the parking lot of a small restaurant right on the beach.
“This place has gotta be packed on a Saturday night,” I said as we stepped out.
“But we’ll have a table, I promise. It’s Kevin’s restaurant.”
“Your brother-in-law?”
“That’d be the one.”
He took my hand and led me inside. The place was small and packed to the brim. Kevin saw us when we walked in and came over.
“Good to see you again, Beth.”
“You too, Kevin.”
“Is our table ready?” Jeremy asked.
“Of course. Follow me.”
We weaved through the tables and followed Kevin out onto the deck to a table tucked in the corner.
“Enjoy. Let me know if you need anything,” Kevin said, setting two menus down for us.
“Must be nice to know the owner,” I said, picking up a menu.
“This place really is the best. The pizza is incredible.”
“A pizza place on the coast of Maine?”
“You expected seafood, right?”
“Of course I did. It’s the coast of Maine. That’s what people come here for.”
“Tourists. Not locals, which is what makes this place so great,” he said and then stopped for a moment, looking hesitant. “Wait. You do like pizza, don’t you?”
“Of course I like pizza. Who doesn’t like pizza?”
“I actually dated a girl once who didn’t like pizza.”
“Is that why you’re not together anymore?”
“Actually, yes,” he said, looking over the menu at me. “So, it’s a good thing you like pizza.”
“I’m glad I passed your test.”
“The night’s not over yet,” he grinned and I shook my head, smiling over to him.
~~~
Jeremy was right. The pizza was great. When Jeremy suggested we share a potato pizza, I gave him the hairy eyeball look, but he insisted I wouldn’t be disappointed and when I took my first bite, I decided I would believe anything that came out of his mouth because it was delicious. We’d had a couple of beers along with the pizza and garlic bread Kevin had brought to us. By the time we were done, I thought I saw a spare tire hanging over the waist band of my skirt. My expanding stomach was of no concern to me though because every bite had been worth it.
“Got room for dessert?” he’d asked after paying the check and although I didn’t know how I’d fit anything else in my stomach, I was always game for dessert and nodded. “This place has the best ice cream,” he said as he led me across the street to the little shop.
“After that dinner, I won’t even question you.”
“I knew you were a bright women,” he laughed.
“What’re you getting?” I asked as I perused the choices.
“Chocolate, of course. There’s no question.”
“Chocolate’s too boring.”
“No. Chocolate’s dependable. It’ll never disappoint you. It’s a very loyal flavor.”
“Dependable and loyal?” I said, raising a skeptical eyebrow at him.
“You can tell a lot about a person by the ice cream flavor they order.”
“Oh really?”
I turned around, crossing my arms and grinning playfully at him.
“Really.”
He crossed his arms too, meeting my eyes with an equally lighthearted grin.
“Go on,” I encouraged.
“Gladly, Beth,” he said and paused for a moment before continuing. “Like I mentioned before, someone that orders chocolate is typically low-key, a traditionalist you might say. They’re honest and trust-worthy. Loyal and true. They’re not a huge risk taker. They play it safe.”
“And that’s you?”
“Do you have any doubts? I’m the most dependable, loyal person you’ll ever meet.”
He was smirking teasingly at me, but deep in my gut, I had a feeling every word he said was true.
“And I should deem all of that based on the ice cream you order?” I asked and he nodded. “Then you’ll be able to give me a character analysis based on the ice cream I order?”
“I will. Go ahead and order,” he said, gesturing towards the counter as I unfolded my arms and turned to the teenage girl who’d obviously been listening to our conversation by the little smile on her face.
“I’ll take a cup of Maine blueberry, please,” I told her and then she looked at Jeremy.
“And chocolate for you?” she asked him.
“Of course,” he said and I waited for Jeremy’s character analysis to begin when the girl handed us our ice cream.
There were only a
few places to sit and it was a nice night so I wasn’t surprised when Jeremy suggested we walk as we ate.
“Careful on that first bite. Your knees might buckle,” he said as I drew the spoon towards my mouth.
“I’ll be fine,” I assured him, but as I tasted the ice cream, I had to admit it was delicious. “This is so good. You were right,” I said a moment later.
“Just like my ice cream said I would be.”
“I’m still waiting for your analysis based on my choice.”
We’d crossed the street, passed Kevin’s restaurant and made our way onto the rocky beach.
“Maine blueberry, right?” he asked and I nodded. “That tells me you’re sweet and feminine. You won’t find many guys ordering that.”
“That’s a bit sexist, don’t you think?”
“No. Just stating the facts.”
“Please continue then. I don’t want to interrupt this deep psychological conversation, Dr. Freud.”
He laughed at my joke as we started climbing onto the large black boulders. Jeremy walked to the edge of one of the rocks, reaching out his hand, which I took and he encouraged me to sit down and he joined me a second later. The waves were lapping gently below us and the silver moon overhead created a shiny sheen on the rocks and the water as we sat taking a few more quiet bites.
“So, sweet and feminine?” I asked, encouraging him to finish. “What else.”
He took a bite and then looked at me, his eyes traveling over my body innocently.
“You’re on the conservative side. You like to play it safe, but you know how to have fun on occasion too.”
“You get all that from blueberry ice cream?”
“I do,” he said, licking his spoon clean and I thought about his words. I think he’d actually nailed down my personality pretty accurately. “How’d I do?”
“Not bad,” I grinned, not wanting to feed his ego too much. “What would you say about someone who likes vanilla the most?”
“That’s an easy one. They’re not to be trusted.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because vanilla is too plain. It’s able to hide in plain sight. No one suspects vanilla of anything, and because of that, it can get away with anything. Plus, it can transform into lots of other flavors. One squirt of chocolate or strawberry syrup or even butterscotch and it’s a completely different flavor, just like a person who favors vanilla,” he answered with an amused grin.
Every Breaking Wave Page 9