by Toni Mari
“Hey!” A voice echoed down the aisle. A rider and horse’s dark silhouette was outlined against the sunny blue sky. “Let’s go,” Shawn called, pointing at his wrist. I caught up my helmet, stuffed my hair under it, and pulled Windsong out of his stall.
By the time we reached the ring, Shawn and I riding side by side, a small bunch of people had gathered to watch our warm-up. Word had spread that Erica would be working with us, and enthusiasts wanted to observe. We stood at the gate, having a last word with my parents. Kate wasn’t there.
“Are your parents here?” I asked Shawn.
“Nah, they never come. That’s why Erica usually brings me,” he said casually, but the way his lip twitched when he looked past me caused me to wonder. Catching the eye of someone behind me, he nodded.
I turned. The moon princess was arriving. Alison pulled Moon up abruptly, and upon inspecting my appearance, a small smile of triumph grew on her lips. My temperature started to rise. I’d show her angry. I squinted and, positioning my hand in front of me where Shawn couldn’t see it, I lifted my middle finger. Her eyes widened and she sat back. With a slow nod, she leaned over and said something to her father, never taking her eyes from mine.
“Why not? You’re part of the team too,” he said loudly and firmly.
She wheeled Moon around and Mr. McBride had no choice but to turn around too. He threw us one puzzled and annoyed look before he did. They headed toward the gate of a different arena. The show grounds were huge and there were four or five different warm-up areas.
Now she knew that I knew, and she thought I couldn’t do anything about it. But she had better watch it, because as soon as I had proof, she was going down.
Shawn looked at me. “Antisocial today, I guess.”
“I guess,” I agreed, smiling to myself.
Mandy bounced up in her usual happy way. “Hi, Jane. Hi, Shawn.”
Mark was following her, but Erica was waylaid by a few fans and stood chatting with them.
“Short stuff. How are you today?” Shawn held out his hand for a high five. Mandy climbed up on the fence and smacked his palm hard, laughing. She rubbed Donner’s glistening neck.
“I convinced my dad to stay longer so we could watch you guys ride. He wanted to head home this morning.”
“Aww. You are such a great fan.” I was touched. “Thanks, Mark.” I smiled at him as he approached. He kept his distance from the horses but nodded to us.
“Daddy, come pet Donner.” She waved him over. “It’s okay, he’s very well behaved. Just don’t go near Windsong. He can be wild.”
“No, I’m fine here. You pet the horse.”
“Daddy’s not a horse person like me and mommy. We love him anyway.”
I rolled my eyes. The things that came out of that kid’s mouth.
Erica waved us in. She started us off with the exercises she had taught me in our lesson together. I felt silly laying on Windsong’s butt, but Erica gave me a stern look at my hesitation. She took it further, with a few more intricate combinations of movements. The people hanging on the fence were relatively quiet. Once in a while, though, they would burst out with applause when Shawn or I did something well.
She stopped us five minutes before my ride time. “Walk for a minute, then we’ll all head to the show arena.” She went to the fence and talked with people.
I let the reins out and gave Windsong a scratching along the withers. Once again, Erica had kept Windsong and me so engaged that we didn’t have any drama. Shawn positioned Donner next to me. We were all supposed to go to the performance arena in a show of solidarity. I was scheduled first, then Melinda followed by Shawn, and Alison was riding last.
Melinda and Belvedere were already in the open area by the arena. We rode up, and I stopped Windsong. The bleachers lining both long sides of the dressage arena were full. Bleachers—not just moms and dads and trainers leaning on the fence. “Oh, wow.”
“What?” Melinda’s nasally voice cut through the background noise. “Looking a little white there, Jumpy Jane. Are you gonna toss your cookies?” She grinned.
I looked at her. She was flawless in her crisp black tailcoat with her red hair tightly twisted and wrapped into a diamond-studded bun, and her tall black boots were so shiny I could see a tiny reflection of Shawn shrugging into his coat. Belvedere was exquisite in his dark tack, which looked like it had never been worn before.
I swallowed. Maybe I was feeling a little faint. “Maybe,” I rasped.
Shawn leaned closer to me. “It’s like what they say about heights, don’t look. Just think about you and your horse.”
I jerked my head in his direction. “What did you say?”
He whispered, “Or you could think about me.” He let his eyes drop to my lips.
Ignoring the lightning bolt in my stomach, I turned forward. For just a second, Shawn had sounded like Cory. Cory always said, “Just you and Windsong.” But that second was past. I felt Alison’s glare like a slap in the face, and her eyes glittered as she rode past.
“She really has it in for you.” He chuckled.
My heart was banging and I almost didn’t hear Shawn over the whistling in my ears. “Why? Did she like you that much? I’d be happy to tell her there’s nothing between us.” Conversation was good, normal. I could ignore my nerves, focus on talking and making sense.
He frowned. “It’s not me, sweetheart. You did this to yourself.”
I threw my hands up. “What? What did I ever do to her? I never even met her until about a month ago.”
Shawn shook his head. “You are so clueless. Last year, she won the individual gold medal at the championships. As a team, we placed third. She was the star, and everyone wanted to watch her. It’s different this year.”
Different.
“You stole her thunder,” Melinda said.
“Me? You guys are the ones that carry the team. I’m the wildcard.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” Melinda said derisively. “She doesn’t hate me.”
She doesn’t hate me. Stole her thunder. Who was she kidding? I jumped when Kate tapped my leg. “Get in there.”
I grabbed her hand and grinned at her. “I’m glad you’re here.” Someone stable who knew me. “I’m nervous.”
She squeezed my hand, pressing her lips together. “Go dance, Jane.”
I nodded, searching her eyes. She patted my leg again and smiled. “Go. You don’t want to miss your test.”
Panic sliced into my brain and my fingers went numb as I moved Windsong forward.
Erica was waiting beside the gate. “Knock ’em dead, kiddo.” She gave me her show-stopping smile.
I shook my head. “I forgot my whole test,” I whispered.
Erica stepped closer. “Hey, what are these, nerves? This isn’t even a show that counts. Just ride.”
I nodded stiffly. It was the crowd, the huge audience. Windsong skittered past the rustling people. Even more noise rose from the bleachers where people were still finding seats, chatting. They were all here to watch me. I forced myself to breathe.
Mandy perched on the fence with Mark standing next to her with an arm around her waist. “Good boy, Windsong!” Mandy crooned. Windsong swung his head in her direction when he heard his name. She gave me a thumbs-up, and then pushed the corners of her mouth up with her index fingers. “Smile,” she mouthed.
I knitted my eyebrows. What was she, a miniature psychologist? Amusement leaked across my frozen synapses, and I did smile. That kid. I gathered the reins, and Windsong took a half-hearted hop.
The speakers crackled and the announcer said our names. The crowd quieted. As I passed her, Erica swept her hand up her body, straightened her shoulders, lifted her chin, and nodded regally like a princess. I sat taller and took a deep, cleansing breath. A performance, that’s right, this was just a performance. As we turned down the centerline, Windsong’s body swelled and he arched his neck, lifting his feet and bouncing lightly off the ground. My dance partner.
#
Chapter Twenty-Seven
It was exhilarating. The crowd, Windsong’s responses, and Erica’s enthusiastic praise when I exited the ring. My nerve endings still tingled and my heart hadn’t slowed down when Melinda rode past me. “Nice job, Jumpy Jane.” She grinned.
Warmth filled me. “Knock them dead!” I called back. I moved Windsong into a space at the rail beside Shawn.
Alison was in a heated discussion with her father and her trainer. She waved her hands and her pale skin turned scarlet. Finally, she sat up and crossed her arms over her chest.
Melinda did her final halt, and Shawn raised his eyebrows. “Here goes nothing.”
I clucked. “Nothing but the best. Go wow your groupies.” I gave him a thumbs-up.
When Shawn was on, he was magnificent. I grinned and whistled louder than anyone as he finished. I held my hand out for a fist bump as he came back.
Alison’s ride was a disaster. Kiss of Moonlight was a coiled ball of tension. And Alison had no patience for her antics. In the lap around the outside of the ring before her test started, there was bucking and head jerking. I didn’t know who was angrier, Alison or Moon. I had never seen Alison so unraveled and riding so badly in the show ring. She yanked Moon into a halt, and the mare jerked back, spinning her hind end out to the side. The test was awful. Alison’s face was like stone, but her eyes were wild. As she charged out the gate, she scowled directly at me, ignoring everyone else. I couldn’t suppress the half-smile that lifted my lip. Shawn mumbled something from next to me, but Alison ignored him too. Moon lurched to a stop, and Alison’s trainer put a hand on her bridle. Mr. McBride yanked the whip out of Alison’s hand and smacked it on his palm, speaking through his clenched jaw and gesticulating wildly. Alison’s shoulders slumped. Poor Alison. I rolled my eyes. More like poor Moon.
We watched as Mr. McBride grabbed a rein and pulled Moon and Alison away. We were supposed to do an award ceremony following the class, and there was going to be a photo shoot.
“She forgot the award ceremony,” Shawn stated.
“I don’t think they care,” Melinda replied.
I moved forward. “I know I don’t care.”
“Just us, then.” Shawn followed me toward the gate.
There had been only eight riders in the whole class since it was by invitation only. The ring stewards lined us up in front of the bleachers. Shawn to my left and Melinda to my right. The other five riders were positioned on the other side of Melinda.
“Congratulations,” I said to Shawn.
“I am sure it was only by the skin of my teeth.”
“Winning is winning, and you deserved it. Your ride was breathtaking.”
His eyes warmed. “You keep saying things like that and I am going to have to forget our little agreement.”
“You were amazing too, Jane,” Melinda chimed in.
I squirmed in the saddle. “I am not used to you being nice to me, Melinda. Sometimes, I still wonder when the ton of bricks is going to fall.”
“Ha!” she laughed. “You never know, it still might if you keep beating me like this.”
They placed ribbons on our bridles, and the flashbulbs started popping. I laid the reins on Windsong’s neck and held out my hands on both sides. Melinda and Shawn held them and we lifted our fists in triumph.
That was one of the pictures that made the front page. The other, the one that caused me the most trouble, was the one where Shawn was kissing me. Technically, it was a congratulatory peck on the cheek, and he gave Melinda one too. But they only published the one of me and Shawn: Winners Share a Triumphant Kiss, the headline said.
When Shawn called me on Tuesday and told me to go online and check it out, I didn’t think much about it. I was excited to see my picture in the paper, front page of the Dressage Times. I printed it out and hung it up in my room. It wasn’t until Thursday when I was trying to call Cory for about the tenth time and he wasn’t answering that I started to suspect something might have been wrong. I called again and left another message. Then, I texted. I repeated this. On the third call he finally picked up.
“Jane, are you crazy? How many times are you going to call me?” Cory’s exasperated voice squawked out of the phone.
I smiled. Cory’s voice in any form was music to my ears. “I was leaving messages all week. You didn’t return them.”
“I’ve been busy.”
I was silent. How busy can a person be that they can’t pick up the phone? “What’s wrong?”
“You tell me.” His tone was unfriendly.
“Nothing, except I miss you.”
“Doesn’t look like it from down here.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“First, I answer the phone and it’s that guy calling you. Then, I see a picture of you kissing him. Doesn’t look like you’re missing me at all.”
“Seriously?” I pressed my lips together. “We haven’t talked for days and that’s what you have to say to me?”
“Well, it doesn’t.”
“If I say I miss you, then I do. And the kiss in the paper was congratulations for the class. Shawn kissed Melinda and Erica too.”
“If you want him, just say so,” Cory demanded.
“Oh, for goodness sakes!”
“I guess that’s my answer.”
“Cory! Aren’t you being a little bit unreasonable? I didn’t get drunk and sleep with him to celebrate our win.”
Complete silence. I could hear only my own breath puffing into the phone.
“Cory, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
“Goodbye, Jane.”
“Cory, wait. What do you mean ‘goodbye’?” He had already hung up. I frantically redialed, tears streaming down my cheeks. He didn’t answer. I texted him: “i’m an idiot. i’m sorry.” Then, I threw the phone down. When Cory had been in France for the World Games, he won a gold medal. He had gotten drunk at the competitor’s party and wound up hooking up with a girl. That wasn’t the whole reason we broke up, but bringing it up was a low blow on my part. I was ashamed of myself.
Did he really mean goodbye?
He wouldn’t talk to me. I went through the weekend mechanically, believing that after he cooled off, he would call me. I made sure to text him each night, but no answer. This utter silence reminded me of when we had broken up. He left for Las Vegas for the rodeo finals and never came back. He didn’t talk to me for months. Months. This was ridiculous. I hadn’t done anything wrong.
#
Chapter Twenty-Eight
I shook my phone at Megan as I slammed my locker closed. “I haven’t heard from him in two weeks. Not one word, even though I have been risking suspension carrying this thing in my pocket just in case he felt like calling.”
“Two weeks is nothing to a guy. Be patient,” Megan soothed.
“You know, Shawn has called me a few times. I’m tempted to go out with him just so Cory has something to complain about.”
Megan patted my back. “Such problems—too many men, not enough time.”
“Does he expect me to sit around for months waiting for him to figure it out? I won’t.” I shook my head the whole way to Calculus.
And that was why I wasn’t expecting it when my phone vibrated. My leg jerked up so hard, slamming into the desk, that I yelped. I rubbed my thigh. I was going to have a permanent bruise at this rate. Mr. Hunt looked at me quizzically, and I couldn’t risk slipping the phone out of my pocket. I hid my hopeful smile and held my stomach, faking cramps. “I think I need the bathroom.”
Mr. Hunt nodded toward the door. I slid out of my seat and hurried out. In the bathroom stall, I looked at the screen. Erica, again. I slumped with disappointment. Stupid to hope it was Cory. I leaned my head on the side of the stall.
Wait a minute. I shook myself. Forget Cory, it was Erica! Famous, amazing, Olympian Erica. I redialed and softly said hello, hoping no teachers walked in.
“Jane, it’s Erica. I need your help. It’s an em
ergency.”
I stood up. “What do you need? I’m in school, but I probably could get my mom to come get me out.”
“Oh, no, no. Not that kind of emergency. We got a call about twenty or twenty-five horses being neglected. I’ve driven down to the farm, and they are in bad, bad shape. I need all the hands I can get to round them up and send them to rescue farms. Can you help tomorrow?”
“Absolutely. Where do I go?”
“I thought you could meet Shawn at my farm and drive down with him. He is going to drive my truck and trailer. I’m at the place trying to sort out some of the paperwork.”
I hesitated. It wasn’t a great idea, being alone with Shawn for hours, but Erica needed me. And besides, Cory hadn’t called or let me explain or anything. “Sure thing. Anything I should bring?”
Erica’s farm was about forty-five minutes away from my house. I stopped for cappuccinos on the way. Shawn had the trailer hitched and hay nets tossed in, ready to go. He greeted me with a kiss and a hug that made me almost spill the coffee on him. “Easy there.” He steadied my hands with his warm ones. “For me?” He took the cup from my hand, looking touched.
“We have a two-hour drive ahead of us. We better get a move on,” I said.
He smoothly maneuvered the rig out the bumpy drive and got us rolling along the highway.
“Have you done this kind of thing with Erica before?” I asked as I adjusted the sun visor.
Shawn slid on a pair of sunglasses, solidifying his surfer dude looks. “Oh yeah, quite a few times. It’s not usually such a big herd of horses though. From the sounds of it, the guy was buying and selling horses. He skipped town for some reason and just left all the horses without getting someone to take care of them.”
“How can someone do that? I’m always worried that I’m not feeding Windsong enough, or if his water bucket is perfectly full. I can’t imagine walking away from horses knowing they were going hungry.”
“Prepare yourself. Some of them are gonna look pretty rough.”