by Toni Mari
I couldn’t get my mind around this amazing offer. I looked at Cory, dazed and bewildered. Erica’s farm, Erica giving me a lesson every day, living with Erica, I pinched myself. Was I dreaming?
“Jane? I know it’s short notice, so why don’t you think about it and let me know,” she repeated.
I mouthed the words “Oh my God!” to Cory. I’d be stupid to say no to her.
“Erica, wow! Absolutely, I’ll work it all out. I’ll call you.”
“Great. This will be exciting.”
I stared at the phone as I softly pressed the end call button.
“Did you hear that?” I asked Cory. “Erica Flame would be excited if I, Jane Mitchell, came to train with her.”
“Really.”
“Erica just invited me to train with her at her place. And stay with her until the Championships. What an unbelievable offer.” I sighed and threw myself onto the couch, smiling.
Cory was silent. He went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of iced tea.
I hugged myself. “I have to pack and run the plan by my parents and Kate. They won’t argue with me—Erica Flame, for God sakes.”
I rocked back and forth, imagining sitting in Erica’s house, eating dinner at Erica’s table. She would pass me a bowl of mashed potatoes. She would give me a hug like I was her daughter. “I am going to live with Erica Flame! I wonder if Shawn and I will stay in the house?” I said with a dreamy smile.
Bam! Cory slammed his glass down on the counter. I flinched. I stood and turned to the kitchen. “What?”
“You and Shawn?” His tone was threatening.
I drew my eyebrows together. “World-famous Erica Flame training me.” I mirrored his tone.
“Kate is your trainer. One month is not going to change your riding.”
I stood across the counter from him. “Kate will understand.”
“What about not moving your horse, like you said before?”
“Erica is a world-class Olympian. I can’t say no.”
“You said it to me.”
I went around the counter and picked up his hand. “This is the stuff dreams are made of, don’t you see?” I pleaded.
He stared at me for a second. His jaw worked, and he tipped his head down. “I see.” His voice was filled with disappointment and finality.
I swallowed. “Wait. You see what?”
“I see your dream, and it doesn’t include me.” He pulled his hand away and stalked out of the apartment.
After the door closed behind him, I slumped down on the couch. How would I train here, or even get to the Championships from here? He was being unreasonable. My dreams included him, just after the Championships. I picked up the pillow and slammed it back down, punching it for good measure.
After breakfast the next morning, Cory carried my bag to the car. I followed him slowly. Things were tense. I had tried to apologize and explain myself before we went to bed. He just looked at me with stony blue eyes and said, “Whatever you say, Jane.”
I put my arms around his waist. “I don’t know what else to say.”
He pushed his hat back. “It’s not what you say, it’s what you do that matters.” His gaze was unrelenting.
I tugged him closer, blinking back tears. “Cory.”
He put his hands on my jaw, blue eyes burning. He lifted my face and put his lips softly on mine. And then he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me roughly, possessively. He held me close and feathered kisses along my jaw line, whispering in my ear, “Remember this when you’re riding with your Olympian and if that joker teammate puts his hands on you.” He released me and stepped back. I climbed into the driver’s seat, watching his somber face as I closed the door and started my car. I touched my lips, still feeling the pressure of his mouth on mine. He never looked back, never flashed me that cocky grin; he just walked away.
#
Chapter Thirty-Three
My parents didn’t have any protests when I told them about Erica’s offer.
“If you think it will help you, that’s fine,” was my mother’s response.
“Whatever you need, baby,” my dad said.
So, I walked through the barn looking for Kate, trying to figure out how I was going to tell her. Kate was a great trainer, and she had taught me everything I knew, but Erica was world famous. It would be irresponsible to my future if I didn’t take Erica up on her offer. Surely Kate would understand that. This conversation would be easy. No problem.
I scrubbed my hand across my forehead. Kate was sitting at the desk in her office with the phone to her ear. “Sure, Friday is fine, four o’clock. Great. See you then.” She ended her call as I stepped through the door.
“Hi.” I sank onto the rusty folding chair in front of the desk.
She wiggled her eyebrows at me. “So? Was it a great weekend? How’s Cory? What’s the farm like?”
I dodged her eyes. “It was awesome, his place is amazing, and the farm is a showplace. They treat him nice.”
“I’m sure it is. That’s a great setup for Cory. I’m happy for him.”
I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. “I have to tell you something.”
She held up a hand. “Don’t tell me you want to go live there with Cory! You are too young and you have your riding career to worry about and college coming up.”
I shook my head. “No, Cory asked, but he knows I have all that going on.”
“Good, glad to hear you have your head on straight.” She looked at me expectantly. I hesitated. “You can tell me anything, you know that right?”
I nodded, and then blurted it out before I could think about it. “Over the weekend, Erica Flame called me and asked me if I would train with her. Just until the Championships,” I was quick to clarify.
Kate sat motionless. I frowned, looking down. My paddock boots were really looking beat up, I should get new ones before I went to Erica’s.
“She would travel all the way here?” Kate asked quietly.
I tipped my shoe up and inspected the sole; definitely worn out. “No, she wants me to bring Windsong to her farm until the Championships.”
No sound. I looked up. Kate’s lips were pressed tightly together. She was staring at something on her desk. I sat up a little to see what it was, but I couldn’t tell since there was a mess of papers there.
“When will you go?” Kate pushed the words out, barely moving her pinched mouth.
“I don’t know. I haven’t set it up yet. I wanted to talk to you.” I couldn’t bear to see her so upset. I scooted to the edge of the chair. “It’s just for the month.”
Kate’s jaw was working. She closed her eyes and nodded. “It’s a great offer.”
“I’ll let you know the details.” I suppressed my sigh of relief. “Thanks. I’ll go tack up for my lesson.”
Kate waved a hand over her head as she turned her office chair away. “No lesson, I have to . . . umm, run an errand.”
I tried to think of something to say, but when nothing seemed right, I turned and walked slowly back to the barn.
Windsong was glad to see me, not that he ran to me as I entered his paddock, he just didn’t run away. He stood still and nodded. I reached in my pocket. “I know what that means. You missed your treats, not me.” I pushed a few toward his lips and rubbed his neck. His summer coat was so slick and shiny. I ran my hand over his cheeks and tugged on his forelock. He tried to rub his ears on me. “Itchy ears, bud?” I took an ear in each hand and used my thumbs to gently rub the insides. Windsong’s eyelids drooped in pleasure.
After a few moments, I slid his halter on and brought him in.
I groomed and tacked him up, but I couldn’t concentrate once I was mounted. I kept picturing Kate’s face. What else could I say to her? I didn’t doubt that this was the right choice, but why did it seem like no one else thought so? I would never in the world want to hurt Kate, but this was big for me. I texted Cory, “told kate about erica’s.”
Surprisingly, he te
xted right back. “what did she say?”
“not much. not happy.”
The phone sang “Candle in the Wind.” “Hello, Cory.”
“So, Kate wasn’t happy, huh?” No small talk here.
“No, well, she said I should go. That it was a good offer. But then she canceled our lesson.”
“She’s losing her best student. It’s not an easy thing.”
“She’s not losing me. I’ll be back after the Championships.”
“No, once you start with Erica, you won’t come back. New trainer, college, new friends, people move on.”
“Not me. I’ll make sure I come back after the Championships, that’s all.”
“Imagine how Kate feels. One month before the biggest competition you two have ever done, and you’re skipping out to another trainer.”
“It’s not like that!” I was torn. Kate meant the world to me. But going to train with Erica was like going on tour with a famous rock band. It was the right thing to do. “If I am serious about my riding, I have to go.”
“Maybe so,” Cory allowed.
“I hate hurting Kate. I wish she would just understand.”
“Oh, she understands. It just hurts.”
“Why should it?” I smacked the front of my saddle in frustration.
“It just does,” he said quietly, like he knew what he was talking about. “I gotta go.”
He hung up before I could say anything else. I shoved the phone into my pocket and nudged Windsong into a canter. It just does. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I just wanted to be around someone like Erica for a while. I squeezed Windsong to go faster. I stood a little and leaned forward, guiding him in wide turns around the arena. It just hurts. Why did they have to make it so complicated? We were flying, and I weaved my fingers into Windsong’s mane and whispered, “You understand, boy, this will be good for us.”
I sat up and Windsong stopped as I tightened the reins, and then walked quietly with his head stretched low. His sides were heaving and I could hear the air whooshing out his nostrils. His neck was damp with sweat. I hopped off in a flash of guilt and loosened his girth, walking him by hand to let him catch his breath. I looked at my watch. It had been twenty minutes since I got on, and I was walking while I was on the phone with Cory. I hadn’t run him for that long. But it was pretty hot out. Did I overdo it? I brought him back in the barn, pulled off the tack, and took him over to the hose.
He was still blowing softly as I began to spray him with the cool water. I was careful to concentrate it on his neck and legs so that he wouldn’t cramp up. After his body cooled down, I sprayed him all over. I allowed him to graze as he dried. His breathing was normal, and he nudged me for treats. I handed him a few, sighing in relief. How was I going to know when he had a real problem? That list of symptoms was too vague—shortness of breath, fatigue. Every time I worked him those happened.
I leaned on the gate as Windsong walked peacefully to his hay pile. I blew out a big breath and leaned my head on my arms. Erica Flame’s farm. I thought about the small crowd that watched as Erica worked with Shawn and me in our warm-up at the showcase and how exciting it was to be invited into the inner circle after her ride on Santos. I wondered if she would let me groom and tack up Santos for her. Would I get to watch her ride him or would she keep me busy with chores? She must have some nice horses at her place because she was an amazing trainer. I couldn’t imagine being able to ride a horse like Santos, and to be able to do it with such skill as Erica. I grinned and wiggled my hips, maybe some of that talent will rub off on me. But, Shawn. Every day with Shawn. I looked up at the sky. Why couldn’t Erica train Melinda or even Alison? Why would I have to spend every day with Shawn? I was exhausted just thinking about steeling myself against his delicious caresses, his arms wrapping around me, his stolen kisses. He made me feel lovely and guilty at the same time.
I watched Windsong get down to roll and smiled. His coat was still damp, and dust stuck to his body like sugar on a powdered donut. He rolled onto his side, and then stretched straight out. I waited a moment for him to get up, but he didn’t.
“Windsong, are you okay?” I called.
He lifted his head slowly and eyed me. Then, he laid it gently back down in the grass. I waited a few minutes, but when he quietly lay still, I left him alone for nap time.
#
Chapter Thirty-Four
On Wednesday, Shawn came with Erica’s trailer to pick up Windsong. I had packed my clothes and a few other things in my car. My tack trunk was stuffed full and sitting inside the barn door. Shawn got out of the truck and helped me load it. He dropped the tailgate and I went back in to get Windsong. I loaded Windsong, and Kate appeared and lifted the butt bar into place. I closed the door on Windsong’s head, and we both lifted the ramp, banging the levers home. Shawn climbed into the driver’s seat, leaving us a moment alone.
“Well, you’re off. Good luck.” She gave me a hug, was about to step back, and then pulled me back and hugged me harder. She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand and started for the barn.
“Kate!” I stopped her, my voice cracking. “You’ll come, won’t you?”
She didn’t turn around. “Of course,” she mumbled, and went in.
I stood and watched her back, almost wishing this wasn’t happening. “Bye,” I whispered.
Shawn tapped the horn. I nodded and headed to my car. I threw Windsong’s lead rope onto the floor of the passenger’s side and started it up. It really was a sweet ride. The taillights of the trailer flashed as Shawn shifted into gear. I followed as he rocked down the bumpy drive. I watched the barn shrink in the rearview mirror, and then turned the music up louder to combat my melancholy.
We had about an hour’s ride. The trailer windows and doors were open so Windsong would have good airflow in this heat. It was strange to be following the trailer and seeing Windsong as he traveled. His head bobbed as he pulled hay from the net tied in front of him. He turned to look out the window as he chewed. “Hi, big guy.” I gave him a finger wave, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. I wondered if the passing scenery made sense to him. Trees and houses moving sideways. Did he think they were moving, or did he know it was him going somewhere? At least he stayed quiet.
Once we were on the highway, Shawn drove fast. I grimaced at the speedometer even though the speed didn’t seem to be affecting Windsong. His head continued to bob as he munched his hay. Still, Shawn was hauling my horse, and he should be more careful. I thought about calling him to tell him to slow down, but then talking on the phone while driving was even more dangerous than speeding. I imagined the trailer swerving sharply and tipping over and Windsong being thrown out on the highway. Aahhh! I turned up the radio, again.
Red brake lights started blinking in all three lanes like Christmas tree lights. The trailer lights flared brightly. I pressed hard on my brake pedal. Windsong braced himself as Shawn did the same. I was having trouble slowing down so abruptly, and the truck and trailer were heavier than my car. I prayed Shawn would be able to stop in time.
All three lanes came to a complete standstill. I shoved the car into park, threw off my seat belt, and sprang out onto the highway. I jogged to the truck window and tapped with my knuckle. Shawn jumped, and then the window slid down.
“What are you doing, Jane? Get back in your car.”
“What are you doing? That’s my horse you’re endangering driving like a maniac!”
“I do not drive like a maniac.”
“Regardless, I’d appreciate it if you would drive a little bit slower from now on.”
He stared at me for a moment.
“It’s my horse, Shawn. Please, go slower.”
He blinked slowly and nodded. “Okay.”
“Thank you.” I tore my eyes away from his, willing my breathing to slow down. Nothing was moving as far as I could see. “I wonder what’s going on.”
“Probably an accident. Happens on this highway all the time.”
“I’m
going to check on Windsong.” I opened the escape door next to Windsong’s head and stood on the running board of the trailer so I could reach him. He pushed his head out the door and whinnied.
“We’re stuck in traffic, ding dong. No one here wants to talk to you.” The car next to the trailer started to roll forward. I patted Windsong and shoved his head back in, slamming the door shut.
Shawn’s head was sticking out the window. “Get back in your car, we’re moving,” he called.
I jogged to my car and climbed back in. I shifted into gear as the gap between me and the trailer widened. The traffic was only inching forward. After thirty minutes of stop and go, we started rolling steadily forward.
The trailer started to accelerate, and I pressed the gas pedal to keep up. Shawn kept it way under the speed limit. A little wave of appreciation made me smile.
Shawn knew exactly where he was going and it didn’t seem long before we were turning into Erica’s driveway. He stopped the trailer in front of the barn. I drove past him to the parking area. Erica, with Mandy in front of her, walked toward me on a brick path leading from the house.
Mandy waved, grinning. “Hi, Jane.” She ran right past me to the trailer and opened the door. Windsong pushed his head out and whinnied. Mandy jumped off the running board holding her ears, but she was laughing.
“You didn’t give me a chance to warn you,” I called.
Erica rolled her eyes. “Serves her right for rushing up to a strange horse. The trip go okay?”
“We were stuck for about a half of an hour in traffic, but other than that, it was fine.” I was suddenly nervous, tongue-tied, and flustered. Should I unload Windsong? Or take out my bags? I slammed the car door, but before I took a step, Erica folded me into a hug. Smiling warmly, she said, “You’re here. Yay!”
I melted, put a hand over my heart. She was so great. I followed her to the barn.