by Jade Lee
She looked him in the eye, recalled every moment that they had shared, every touch, every secret. "We are too much alike, Chris. And because of that, I think we have failed each other. I'm so sorry that I didn't understand this earlier. And sorrier too for the way I have hurt you." She pulled her arm free and turned away, relieved to realize that she would never marry him. No matter what happened in the future, Christopher was now in her past. He must have understood as well because she heard him back away.
Which left Jie Ke. Or Jacob. She smiled at him, but her hands shook. He reached for her.
"Does that mean I am your other answer?" he asked.
"No," she said softly. She turned and her chest ached to see the pain and fear fill his eyes. "You have just this hour remembered your past. How can you know what you want?"
"As you have just discovered yourself," he responded. She felt the tremors coursing through his body. "But I know my answers lie with you, Evelyn. The question is: what do you think of me?"
She hesitated. For all that she wanted to commit herself body and soul to this man, she was still terribly afraid. She knew so little of the world outside of England. How would she survive it?
"Do you remember the last time I saw you as a child?" he asked.
She frowned, thrown by his strange question. "When you put sugar down my back."
"No, there was one more time, but perhaps you don't remember. We were both very young."
She shook her head. "No. There was no other time—"
"Do you remember a boy in the rain? A child that threw mud at you and chased you through the thunderstorm? We played tag and laughed when the thunder rumbled down at us."
She gasped, the memory so clear in her mind. "That was you? You were my faery boy?"
Around them, the others listened with rapt attention. Evelyn didn't care. Let them hear it all. He was the boy from that night!
"I never wanted to go to China, you know," he said. "So the night before we left, I ran away. I was going to show my father that I could live on my own without him."
Evelyn pressed a hand to her mouth, but she could not hold back the words. "It was a summer storm and it was so hot in my room. I had to get outside. In just my shift, I ran outside and giggled when I was soaked to the skin." Her whole body lightened at the memory. "I felt so free."
"That is how I remember you. Wild, spinning in the rain, laughing as if you had so much joy—"
"My body couldn't contain it all," she finished for him. "That was you?"
"Whenever it got bad in China, whenever I was lonely or frightened or hurting so bad I could barely breathe—I would remember that night in England and . . ."
"You would think of me?"
"I would hate you, Evelyn. I was stuck in a hot, dry foreign land while you were here in the wet, the wild, and the green. And you were so very free." His eyes looked vulnerable. She could not stop herself from stepping closer to him, from touching his face.
"You. My faery boy was you."
"And you were Miss Evelyn Stanton who was a stuffy priss by day—"
"And a wild child at night." She closed her eyes and remembered how wonderful she'd felt. Cold, wet, covered in mud, and yet so happy that the memory had become her secret delight—a treat she pulled out and held tight whenever she felt too restricted.
"Were you afraid then?" he asked.
"Of course not. The world was so marvelous a place. How could anyone be afraid?" She bit her lip as a fierce longing rushed through her. "But I was a child. I knew nothing."
"All of us know nothing," he said. "We are as vulnerable now as we were as children. It is only the illusion of name and tide—"
"House and servants? They are very real."
He nodded. "They help. But at what cost, Evelyn? Who do you want to be: a countess locked inside her home with servants and people to shield you against the world? Or that child set free in the elements?"
The child. She wanted to be the child again, so ready to embrace the world even when it was wet, cold, and dirty.
"I love you," she said, hearing the weight of those words and the power of saying such things aloud. "But I do not know that I can be so free during the day. I do not know how."
"I will help you," he said. Then he kissed her. One moment they were touching hand to hand, the next, she was in his arms and all else faded away. He stroked her mouth in awe, and she opened her lips to his in offering. And as he plundered and possessed her physically, her soul slipped inside him.
Within seconds, she felt as if the two of them had become one body and soul. It was amazing, frightening, and wholly wonderful. She didn't know it was possible to marry a man with just a kiss, but that was what the moment felt like. And as they separated, she saw the same stunned awe reflected in his eyes.
Into this moment of perfection, Jacob's grandmother abruptly dragged in the Reverend Smythe-Jones. "I told you!" she crowed. "I told you they would end up together. Now marry them right now!"
"But—"
"Legalities be damned," she snapped. "Lady Warhaven!"
"I will make sure all the proper notices and the like are covered, and that the current contract is dissolved," she said with all the force in her frail body—and a stern look at Christopher. "Now do God's will!"
Other voices exploded in the room, a cacophony of objections and complications and noise. Evelyn ignored them all, her eyes still held by Jie Ke's.
"I will have to go back to China," he said softly. "I need to talk to the abbot. There are still things I need to understand."
She nodded, already committed to the travel. But then she sobered. "You cannot become a monk now, can you?"
He shook his head, but his smile grew. He said, "I think the abbot always knew that." They both glanced sideways at Zhi Min, only to discover that the man had already left.
"Where did he go?" Evelyn asked.
Jie Ke shrugged. "I don't know. I think he had his own task to complete here in England. He never said for sure, but I think he has gone to complete it." Then Jie Ke's gaze shifted again, this time to where Christopher stood watching, body stiff and angry. If he weren't boxed in on all sides, then Evelyn was sure her ex-fiancé would have left by now. Fortunately he was trapped, so he could hear what Jacob was now saying.
"I renounce my claim to the tide," Jie Ke said. "When you inherit, have it with my blessing."
That silenced the room completely . . . for about ten seconds. And then the objections began—first from his grandmother and then, surprisingly, from Christopher himself.
"Don't be a fool!" they all cried.
Evelyn silenced them with a raised hand. "No, he's right. Christopher, you already told me that it would never go through. And besides . . ." She smiled at Jie Ke. "He doesn't know how to be an earl. Not as you do. Let him choose his own path. Let us choose our own paths." Then she turned to the Reverend Smythe-Jones. "Marry us, please. We will need my dowry for the long trip to China." She looked to Christopher. "Will you be steward of my family's land? It's what our fathers really wanted, anyway, our estates combined."
Christopher's expression shifted, emotions tightening his features so that she couldn't even begin to read them. In the end he spoke, his tone low and dignified just as a future earl's should be. "Our estates won't be combined, and this is not what J wanted." He ground this teeth together as he glared at Jie Ke. He turned back to Evelyn as he sketched her the briefest of bows. "But I will do as you wish. I will look after your people and land."
She had to be content with that. She wanted to apologize to him, she wanted to see the anger and pain fade from his eyes, but that was no longer possible, she knew. She could only thank him as graciously as possible and pray he would eventually forgive her.
Then the Reverend Smythe-Jones cleared his throat so that it echoed in the room. Evelyn nearly laughed. Here, finally, was her wedding. She stood in Lady Warhaven's bedchamber with Christopher and a score of servants in attendance. Not the cerem
ony of a future countess, not really appropriate in any sense of the word. But then Jie Ke spoke, and his voice held such clarity and truth that his words echoed through her soul.
"I love you, Evelyn Stanton," he said. "I will honor you, cherish you, and protect you with everything I am. Thank you, my love, for choosing to stand by my side for the rest of our lives."
It wasn't the traditional vow, but she knew these were words that she would remember forever. The reverend, of course, insisted on the traditional vows, which Jacob dutifully spoke. Then it was her turn, and she spoke from the heart.
"I love you, Jacob Jie Ke Cato. I will follow you to the ends of the earth and will try not to complain too much. Thank you, my heart, for helping me to become better than I was and for staying by my side as I discover so much more."
More usual words came later, as did the kiss and the wedding night. And for the first time in Evelyn's life, the future stretched before her in unexplored majesty. She was terrified, and yet she couldn't wait to begin. With Jacob by her side, she could do anything.
"Are you sure?" she asked late that night. They were lying naked next to one another, their legs still entwined.
"About what?" He was stroking lazy circles across her back that made her toes curl in delight.
"Your tide. Your life here in England." She pushed up to look him in the eye. "You were the earl. Do you really want to give all that up?"
"Do you?"
She nodded, absolutely sure. "I'm afraid, but... I never thought it possible, but there is so much more to the world than being a countess. So much more than England." The very idea seemed amazing, and yet the truth of it rang in her soul.
"I was never trained to be an earl," he said. "My father hated it—all the responsibilities and duties made him cringe."
Evie smiled. She understood that better than anyone. "But you could learn."
"I don't want to learn." He pushed up on his elbow, his expression so open that she was momentarily stunned by the beauty of him. "I don't know what will happen at the temple." He grinned. "And before you ask: Yes, if I must choose between you and a holy path then I will choose you. I have chosen you."
She released a breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding.
"I may simply want to live near the temple or, perhaps, if I can, begin a whole new one closer to home."
"I could still see my family sometimes?"
He grinned and dropped a kiss on her nose. "Of course. I would not cut you off from them completely."
"I would endure it, if you asked. My life is with you."
He shook his head. "Your life is your own. I am simply happy that you share it with me."
"What about your family—your parents and sister? Can you . . ." How to ask this?
"Can I really give up my revenge?"
She stared at him. If her family had been murdered, the anger would run so deep and dark—
"I walked that path a decade ago, Evelyn. The anger only made my soul more empty." He took a deep breath and searched her face. "Christopher will see that justice is done, won't he? I believe he will. He must."
Evie nodded. "Of course. He is the most honorable man I know."
"Then holding on to my hatred will serve no one."
She blinked away the tears in her eyes and wondered how she had found so different and yet so perfect a man. "I think my future is going to be much more than I could ever have imagined. I think you are going to show me . .." She took a deep breath, her imagination fading.
"You are going to be amazing," he breathed. "I cannot wait to see what you choose to become."
She kissed him then. There was such love between them that she could not stop herself from expressing it in the most elemental of ways. He matched her excitement and her joy. And when he thrust himself inside her, their eyes met in a moment of total unity.
"I love you," they said to one another. England was forgotten. The universe lay before them and within their two hearts.
"Everything I want is right here," she said. "You are my world," he replied, his voice filled with awe. "I love you."
Their life and their future of unexplored wonder had begun.