“Thirsty?” I teased him.
“I was stocking the wine cellar and thought I’d pick out a couple for dinner. What are we eating?”
“Steak and salad. But you’ll be happy to know I now have an email with that top secret lasagna recipe.”
“Oh, you must’ve been talking to Alex while I talked to Grayson.”
“Yep. She’s all fired up about Christmas, and I have zilch ready for the holiday, so this week is going to be crazy.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his loving arms. There was never a more secure place to be. I felt like I could challenge the world with the strength his hold gave me, but apart from him, I wasn’t whole.
“It’s you and me, kid. We’ve got all week, and I promise you, we’ll get it all done and then some.”
***
While Harrison hung out upstairs watching TV, I quickly made up our new bed. Red sheets! I knew he would love my choice. The challenge was going to be finding the necktie.
I searched through the drawers in the closet to no avail. I found several of his ties on the revolving holder, but the red one was missing. There were two boxes left to unpack.
I sat on the floor and started emptying the contents of the first box. It was strange, most of the items were old files and things that appeared to be his from his childhood, a baseball glove and a couple of autographed baseballs, Chicago Cubs, no doubt. When I opened the second box, it was full of manila envelopes, all addressed to Mr. Harrison Brooks without addresses, like they had been hand delivered. I dug through them just to ensure the red tie wasn’t hidden between them, but honestly, I was no longer focused on the tie. I wanted to know the contents of the packages.
This is none of my business.
I reached over my leg and picked up the remaining stacks of envelopes on the floor to put back into the box when some photos and a note fell out of one of them.
Photos of Harrison and an unfamiliar woman…making love.
The photos appeared to have been taken through a window. My gut clenched. The photos shook as I held them, scanning back and forth through them, trying to figure out what woman was sleeping with my husband and when.
“Sweetheart, are you up here?” Harrison called while heading up the stairs.
Shit.
I threw the contents into the box and put both boxes behind my long coats. I was more than curious at that point and fully intended on seeing the rest of the contents.
“Wow, the princess outdid herself,” he said as he entered the bedroom.
Our closet had a side door, and I slipped into the bathroom and quickly started washing my face. My subconscious move was a good one to conceal the red flush plastered all over my face.
“Hey, there you are. I’ve been looking for you.” He paused to give me a sweet kiss. His sapphire blue eyes peered into mine for several moments, taking a good read. With his razor-sharp perception, it wouldn’t be easy to hide anything from him. “You’re getting ready for bed? It’s early, what’s wrong?”
“Oh, you know. It’s been so crazy lately it all finally caught up with me and I’m beat. I planned on lounging for a bit and doing some Christmas shopping. Speaking of which, I left a list down in the kitchen. I’ll go get it.”
I tried to slide out of his embrace, but he wasn’t having it. He held on tightly to my hand as I tried to change the subject. When he pulled me close to his chest, I felt my body tense.
He stilled. “You’ve never tensed up when I’ve touched you. Wanna tell me what’s up?”
“It’s the holidays and my mental motor is running. Let me get the list and let’s get some things checked off. I’ll feel better.”
“And I’ll feel better when you tell me the truth.” His voice was low and more pronounced with a bit of a tone.
I leaned into his chest and mustered up some fake tears, or maybe they weren’t fake after all. Hell, I didn’t know anything at the moment that made any sense. He wanted an answer, I’d give him one that would buy me some time.
“You give the best presents.” I paused to sniffle with a few more crocodile tears. “You know what I want or what I need more than I do, and I can’t think of a thing to get you for Christmas.”
“Is that all? A life with you is all I’ll ever need.” He ran his hands through my hair. A comforting move that achieved nothing of its intent.
I deserved a fucking Academy Award for my performance.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
My attempt at a romantic night breaking in our new bed was an ultimate failure. I passed on sex, and I knew Harrison read right through me, but he didn’t complain. He held me tight as if to chase away my unspoken demons. When his peaceful breathing signaled a deep slumber, I slipped from his arms and tiptoed to the closet. The cardboard box gripped my heart like an iron chain.
I couldn’t handle not knowing all the answers.
Although I was quiet as a mouse, Max on the other hand, couldn’t have been more noisy, stretching and yawning as loudly as he possibly could and even deciding to do a loud burnout on the carpet to scratch his back.
The laundry room was at the opposite end our home downstairs and would give me the most warning should Harrison wake up.
My hands trembled as I picked up the photos I’d viewed the night before. I studied each one trying to see where and when they were taken and if I possibly knew who she was. The photos gave away nothing.
I let out a gasp when I opened the note card that was with the photos.
An eye for an eye.
I shoved the card back into the envelope along with the photos and proceeded to go through every single one of them. Over the next several hours, I studied the photos. Each package contained a note that only had one hand-written sentence and no signature.
You’ll be sorry.
I’ll never let you forget.
Thief.
How could you?
You destroyed a family.
Betrayal is unforgivable.
Hope your nightmares keep you awake at night.
Death on your hands.
Was it worth it?
Selfish son-of-a-bitch.
You screwed with the wrong person.
I was completely engrossed in the photos, especially the one with Harrison and the woman walking arm-in-arm down a sidewalk completely covered in snow. How could that be?
We’d had snow already, but not that much. That gave me pause. That would mean they weren’t recent pictures.
“Do you want to talk about them?” A quiet, reverent voice came from behind me.
Oh, my God. I froze. I’d been so engulfed in the photos I hadn’t heard him approach. I slowly turned to him, tears flooding my face. My voice held hostage to anxiety. I nodded.
He approached me, wrapping his strong arms around me, holding me as I cried. Not exactly certain why I was crying, maybe from fear of the unknown, I was certain I wanted answers. Answers only he could give.
We stood there in our tight embrace for quite some time. Finally, I realized he was slowly sliding down the wall, guiding us to the floor while keeping a strong hold on me. He came to rest on the floor, cradling me in his lap.
“First, I’m not having an affair, nor have I ever been unfaithful to you. From the first night we met, you were the last woman for me. I love you and only you.” He kissed the top of my head before lifting my chin to make eye contact with me.
“Six years ago, I was a different man. I was just getting used to my wealth, living a carefree lifestyle. I wasn’t ready to settle down when I flew to London for business and met Victoria who was a flight attendant. We instantly had fun with each other and decided to hang out while she was on a layover. She was beautiful, knew much of the city like me, and we had a good time for a few days. I thought that was the end of our fling.”
I rested my head on his chest, which was rising and falling with deep, jagged sighs. My arms were tightly crossed against my own body, giving support to my labored breaths, my posture defensive
.
“I returned to work in the city when she showed up out of the blue, wanting to hook up again. We continued to see each other on occasion for several weeks, then more and more until we were inseparable. Within three months, she’d moved in to my apartment and said she’d given up the lease on hers. With her flight schedules, she was often gone. I didn’t have reason to suspect she was married or had a family. Victoria never mentioned her husband or son to me.” His voice was inflicted with emotion like the painful cry of a jungle cat.
With his deep breaths beneath me, I sensed his struggle… He was facing the reality once again. I remained quiet, letting him answer my questions without having to ask them.
“I received a package by courier with photos and a note one day at the office. That was my first inclination she had a secret, so I asked our firm’s investigator, Cole Howard, to research her. That’s when I found out about John her husband and Collin her son. When her plane landed from her China trip a few days later, she sent me a text asking me to meet her at our favorite restaurant. I gave her the photos, the letter, and the file from the investigator and left without saying a word. When she left…when she left the restaurant…she, um, she ran off the road. The coroner said she died instantly.”
His body shook vigorously with his emotions out of control. Years of pain and guilt poured from him like a hundred-year flood. Stunned, I couldn’t move, nor did I know what to say. After a long pause, I wrapped my arms around him in comfort. In support. In acceptance.
“When did this happen?” I asked with my head resting on his shoulder.
“Five years ago. Just a couple days before Christmas.”
“And you never told anyone?”
“Only the firm’s partners. We planned for litigation, but nothing came of it.” He covered his face in exasperation. “I had no way of knowing she would get drunk and kill herself.”
“What happened when you contacted the family?”
“I didn’t,” he said as he pushed me to my feet and quickly got up himself. He walked away, leaving me alone to absorb his agonizing confession.
The explanation of the affair and the photographs, I’d begun to process. The part that didn’t even remotely meet his character was his answer about not contacting the family. A fact very much out of place for the Harrison Brooks I knew and loved with all my being.
Hours passed as I made myself useful, actually using the laundry room to wash our clothes, instead of unraveling my husband’s darkest secrets. At times, I sat in the corner like a punished child and tried to count the glass tiles on the backsplash, simply to clear my mind… It didn’t work.
I knew I could let this situation divide us forever, or I could be the glue to hold us together as he worked through his pain. I searched the house for him, but the quietness suggested I was alone. When I called Max, he didn’t come. The cars were in the garage, maybe they went for a walk?
Passing through the kitchen, I noticed smoke outside. When I opened the door, I found Harrison and Max cuddled up in a chair by the fire in the chiminea, staring off into space. My first inclination was he needed peace, my second…to invite him to our bedroom where he communicated the best.
“Come with me,” I said, extending my hand.
“Now that you know my sickest secret, it’s okay if you pack and go. You think I’m a monster.”
“I think no such thing. Come with me.”
I led him to our bedroom, albeit he followed with a look of confusion.
“I love you. I’m not going anywhere. If my words aren’t convincing enough, I’ll show you.”
I saw a completely different side to Harrison that morning. What he couldn’t put into words, he expressed in the way he made love to me. For the first time in our relationship, he let me inside his soul, exposing all of his weaknesses and insecurities.
We became one in every way. There were no more hallows for secrets to hide. He took me through the contours of his heart and showed me the darkness from where the current Harrison had been born.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
The next few days were spent in a feverish rush, meeting furniture deliveries and Christmas shopping. I also had to squeeze in a fitting with Bianca, who had my dress ready for the party at Harrison’s firm.
Harrison was mellow, but he was also a bit clingy. Every time I left the house, he had to drive me. I allowed him the room he needed to squelch the demons and chose not to mention the photos or Victoria again.
We hosted a party at Logan’s two days before Christmas. To our delight, Nola came with her family and serenaded us with a private concert. Harrison had arranged for a producer from Sony to watch one of her performances, but he could only make it during the time we were away on our honeymoon. He’d contacted Harrison with the news that Sony wanted to sign her for a recording contract. When Harrison made the announcement at the Christmas party, I thought for sure we were about to be in need of some serious CPR. Nola was completely stunned.
Watching Harrison help others reinforced how and why he’d become the man he had.
I looked around the room at the lives enhanced because of good deeds from the loving man who was Harrison Brooks. He’d rescued Kaci from the bar and given her the chance at a life. It was interesting because she had fallen head over heels in love with Luke and was spending all of her time back at the loft, which left Harrison’s penthouse empty. She’d bought her own car and had given Harrison’s car back, so he’d decided Nadia needed it because hers was old and in a constant state of needing repairs. We both thought it wasn’t safe for her to be pregnant and risk being stranded.
Nadia looked beautiful in her red sweater. I found myself envious of the pregnancy glow. My cheeks hurt from smiling as I watched her dance with Harrison.
“She’s glowing,” Kaci whispered in my ear.
“You took the words right out of my brain,” I uttered.
“We need to plan a baby shower for her.”
“She doesn’t want one. She’s determined to go through with the adoption.” Nausea bit at me. I still didn’t agree with her decision. “But we do need to plan a shower for Shae.”
“Shae’s pregnant?”
“Oh, my gosh, no! A bridal shower.”
“We could do it at your new house,” she said while putting her hands together prayerfully under her chin in a sweet attempt to beg.
“Sure, but it’s still ‘under construction’. Let’s get together after New Year’s and plan for around Valentine’s Day. Sound good?”
She nodded and grabbed my hand to yank me in for the line dance Shae and Tate had started.
Great food, best of friends and drinks, well, those were on the house. The most fun came when Harrison and Luke tried to out-do each other with drink concoctions. Some were better hits than others. My husband didn’t leave a dare on the table, but when it came to lighting drinks on fire, I had 911 on speed-dial! We definitely needed that evening to re-energize our spirits.
When we got home, Max and I went to the front yard to grab the mail when I noticed an all-to-familiar envelope tucked under the corner of the mat at the front door. I looked around the drive, but didn’t see a soul. I was curious how they were able to deliver it since our property was gated in both the front and back. The invasion gave me the creeps.
I made a quick decision to protect my husband’s heart. The last thing he needed was another reminder of the sins from his past. Shoving the envelope inside one of the many catalogs that had been in the day’s mail, I quickly hid them under the similar pile by my den chair and proceeded to kick off my boots by the door.
“You wanna pick those up?” His low, raspy voice startled me.
I looked up and met inquiring eyes and no smile. “Those? I haven’t read them yet.”
“Huh? I was talking about your boots.”
“Oh gosh, I thought you were complaining about my magazines. I haven’t read through them yet. You know the rules, hands off my mags. Hey, how about fixing me one of those cranber
ry cocktails you were making at the bar?”
“You didn’t get enough earlier?” He laughed.
“Liquor, probably. Watching you mixin’ ‘n shakin’, never,” I teased.
Joining him in the kitchen, I reached around his waist and hugged him from the back, before letting my hands explore his taut body. He gripped my hands softly and paused my motions. We stood silent and completely still like mannequins.
“We can’t do this,” he said, his voice almost a whisper.
“Do what? I can’t touch you?”
“No, we can’t use sex as a coping mechanism.” He pulled me around to face him and put his hands on my cheeks. His thumb explored my lips while he closed his eyes as though he was memorizing the contours of my face.
“We’re new—”
He put his finger over my lips to shush me before kissing me softly, letting his lips linger…barely connecting flesh with flesh.
My skin prickled with excited tension at the way he was taunting me. I hadn’t been using sex to help him cope, rather helping him communicate, but at that moment, I had needs to communicate as well, after all, we were newlyweds.
***
Grayson and Alexandra’s home was bristling with energy when we arrived. The tree was huge and the gifts surrounding it buried it a third of the way up.
By the time we unloaded the back of our rental car with our contribution to the pile, you couldn’t get within two feet of the tree.
Cooper and his boyfriend Mark were surfing for a football game on the satellite while Alexandra’s parents were kanoodling with the twins. Harrison went to join Grayson outside by the smoker.
“Anything I can do to help you,” I asked Alex.
“She needs a lot of help. She’s already burned the bread pudding,” Cooper yelled from the adjoining den.
“I did not burn the bread pudding. It’s supposed to be crispy around the edges.” She gave him a snarl, but I was more concerned about the can of green beans she was holding and thought it would’ve been helpful to have a wall between them.
The open floor plan could’ve been dangerous to his health should she decide to hit him with it. Trust me, I’d witnessed her throwing things… She had great aim.
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