by Ryan Michele
“I’m out of here. I didn’t want to come in the first place,” Miller says, standing up.
Pops hands him the money. “Never a word or I find you and put a bullet in your head, your wife’s, and your kids’.”
Miller pales. “Not a word. Ever.” He gives one more look at Griff then takes the moment. “The case was pretty much closed out after the conversation with the fiancée checked out. Griff didn’t want to let it go, said the Sergeant told him to investigate to make sure. I came because he said it was ordered.”
“Go,” Pops says, and Miller shuts the door behind him.
“Now, this problem,” Pops says, turning around while Breaker follows the cop outside to make sure he disappears. “I made a call to your wife who said you are on a fishing trip.”
Griff pales.
“Tell me everything, and I’ll make it fast,” Dagger says. “Or don’t and I’ll beat it out of you. Either way will work.”
I crack my knuckles, placing my fist in the palm of my other hand. I want this fucker to play hardball. How dare he touch Tanner! No one touches her. Ever.
Griff spews his guts, but everything on the case is pretty much washed up. Investigators say it was from the water heater—go figure—and closed it out.
“Tug, GT, Cruz,” Pops calls out, “take this guy fishing. There’s an extra car in the side wing of the garage.”
Griff pales further. “You’re really going to kill me, aren’t you?”
Dagger slams the butt of his gun down on the asshole’s neck, and he passes out.
“Boys, do good,” is all Pops says as the three take Griff out. “Looks like your ladies can leave whenever they want.” My stomach twists. Fuck that. “Do what you gotta do.” With that, he leaves, the others following him out the door. The sound of engines firing and leaving echo through the house.
“Now what?” I look at Dagger.
“We tell them that shit’s getting sorted, and they need to stay.” Dagger smirks as if he’s reading my mind. Sure, I’ll probably get shit later for it, but fuck, having some other guy touch Tanner … I can’t do that shit. I don’t deserve her, but I’m not letting her go, either.
I move down the hallway, dead set on seeing my girl. I knock and open the door.
Tanner lies next to her mother, face to face. It looks like they’re talking. Tanner’s head pops up. Then she scrambles off the bed and heaves herself into my arms, and I catch her with ease. Fuck, I like the fact that she feels safe with me.
I inhale her scent, not even giving a shit that her arms are around my neck. If anything, I like it. Fuck me. I’m screwed.
“I didn’t mean to make you mad,” she says into my neck.
“I’m not. That’s my own shit. We’ll talk.” Even though I don’t want to bring that shit up, she deserves to know that it’s not her. It’s all me.
“Mearna, you all right?”
Concern is all over her mother’s face. I know how much Tanner loves her mother. Fuck me. Do I really have to win over her mother? This is exactly why I don’t do this shit.
“I’m fine.” Her eyes narrow. “What are your intentions with my daughter?”
To fuck her brains out. “Taking it one step at a time.”
“Tanner,” she calls out, and Tanner turns to her mother. “You be careful, sweetheart.” Tanner nods, and then Mearna turns to me. “What’s going on out there?”
“No worries. It’s under control,” I tell her.
“So if everything is under control, can we head home?” Mearna asks, watching my reaction closely. I disguise my irritation at her question.
“Nah, you two need to stay for a while. We’ll know more tomorrow.” I pull Tanner with me. “Come on, Sprite.”
“Sprite?” her mother questions.
“I don’t know where he got it, Mom, but whatever.” Tanner shrugs.
“It fits you.” Mearna smiles. “I like it.”
All right, enough of this touchy-feely shit.
“Come on.” I lead Tanner through the hallway and into the living room. She looks around, finding it empty besides Dagger sitting in the chair.
As soon as we pass, I hear the creak of the chair. He’s no doubt going to talk to Mearna. I kick the door shut to another bedroom, and Tanner sits on the bed.
“Shit’s gonna be wacked for a while. I want you in my bed at the clubhouse.”
“Dagger said we were going back after this was over,” Tanner says, flipping her red hair out of her face. “Rhys, talk to me.”
“Babe, just roll with this shit. I don’t have any answers for you. All I know is I can’t get your taste off my lips, and I haven’t gotten my fill of you.” I sit next to her and place my hand on her thigh. Her hand comes on top of mine.
“Princess says you have your own rules, and I get that.” She squeezes my hand, and I have the sudden urge to kick Princess’s ass. “I have rules of my own. Princess said that you have different women all the time.”
“Fucking Princess,” I mutter. I’m going to get Cruz to tan her fucking hide.
“Well, I’m a one man kind of woman and expect my man to be the same. If you don’t want that, then you need to leave me be.” She pats my hand then removes hers, the warmth gone.
Something inside of me aches. I’ve never been faithful to anyone, never had any type of commitment with anyone except my brothers. I’m not sure I can do this shit.
“Babe, I …” She places her finger on my lips.
“You’re going to tell me that you don’t know if you can do it.” I nod my head, her finger remaining in its spot. “Would you be willing to try?” She removes her finger.
“You know you deserve a fuck of a lot better,” I tell her, which makes her smile softly.
“I’m only going to be here for a short time, so it’s not like I’m asking you to marry me, but while I’m here”—she grabs my dick through my jeans—“this is mine.”
I chuckle. She has yet to say the word dick or cock in front of me, and I think it’s pretty hilarious. She’s going to have to get over that quickly while she stays at the clubhouse.
“All right, Sprite. As long as you know this pussy, tits, and ass are mine to do whatever I want with, whenever I want.” I push her to the bed as her beautiful smile comes across her lips.
“Where did you come up with sprite?” she asks.
“Look at you and look at me. To me, you’re little with spunk.”
She rolls her eyes. “Whatever.” Her face turns serious. “I’m sorry I said my mother would be disappointed. I don’t know what I meant, but it wasn’t—”
“Babe, that’s my shit, not yours. We’ll talk about it later, but not today.” I roll off her and grab my cell, typing out a message to Dagger. “Tonight, we stay here, away from the club. Just you and me.” I tell her. For the first time in my life, I’m actually excited about this shit.
I toss the phone down and smother her with my body. I cup her face, holding it still before I bend down and brush my lips against hers. I love the intake of breath she gives me. Who gives a shit if she’s younger than me and innocent? I’m going to have fun corrupting her.
I kiss her and suck her in.
I KNOCK ON the doorway and enter without waiting for Mearna to say anything. Fuck, this woman has put me in a tailspin. It’s as if she never left.
She lies on the bed, eyes closed. The slight rise and fall of her chest tells me she’s asleep. I sit in the chair in the corner of the room and just watch her with my elbows on my knees as I wipe my face with my hands.
This woman was everything to me. Everything. I would have bent over backward for her. Hell, I did. She stuck with me through the prospect period. Then we went to a party one night, and she decided she was leaving. Boom! Just like that.
I tried talking to her, finding out what the fuck happened in that short amount of time, but she wouldn’t have it. I was a young, dumb kid, getting his heart shattered for the first and only time. I remember that moment when she walked
out the door. “I love you, Cameron. Always remember that.” She kissed me, and then she was gone. Poof. It’s a memory that has dug itself inside me so far there is no way I’ll ever climb out. She’s the one woman I loved, the one woman who changed the course of my life.
After Mearna disappeared, the old me disappeared. I didn’t give a shit and fucked anything with a pussy. Hell, I still do. Even my arrangement with Flash just gives her a place to sleep. Neither one of us gives a shit about the other. I know she fucks everything with a dick, and she knows about me. It’s been working for years, and she’s never asked for more, so I’ve kept her around.
Looking at Mearna, I feel so damn old. I have ten years on Mearna, but she still looks as beautiful as she did back then. Fuck.
I feel like I should grab a pad of paper and make some fucking Hallmark card greeting or something. I can’t fucking help it when it comes to this woman. I’ve loved her all my damn life and thought I was doing her right by not going after her when I wanted to. Fuck, once I got a lock on where she went, I was going for her to bring her back, but it didn’t end up the way I wanted it to.
And because I didn’t go and get her, she ended up with an asshole that beat the shit out of her.
Mearna is the one woman I would give up all the random pussy for. I’d give up Flash in a heartbeat and be with Mearna whole-heartedly. Fucking hell.
Mearna’s eyes flutter open, and she takes me in. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is handled,” I tell her, not moving from the chair.
“Rhys said we needed to stay in town for a while.”
“Yeah. It’s best.” I look down to the floor. What in the fuck am I doing?
“Cam—Dagger?” I close my eyes; my real name causes an ache that only she could give me. “Please look at me.” I look up as she tries to move to sit up. Her face contorts in pain, and I move quickly to her side, lifting her up and moving her to sit up in the bed. “Thank you.” She pats the bed. “Sit. I think we need to talk.”
Talk. Fucking hell.
“Yeah, guess we do.”
Damn those eyes. They are exactly the same, but behind them is so much hurt. All I want to do is scrub every bit of it away.
“You have a daughter,” she says quietly.
I give a soft chuckle. “Yeah, I guess I do.” I run my fingers over my beard. “Why didn’t you tell me, Mear?”
She looks up to the ceiling like it will give her answers or some shit. “I wanted to. God, I wanted to.” Her eyes come back to mine. “So many times, I picked up the phone and dialed then hung up.” Her soft laugh reminds me of better times. Still love that sound. “I wanted to. I wanted to just come back and be with you.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
Her eyes drop to her hands that are laced in front of her. “I saw what this life consisted of. Women were everywhere, wearing nothing but scraps of fabric and hanging on to your every word like it was gold. I didn’t belong here.”
“I never once cheated on you, Mearna. You can’t throw that shit in my face,” I growl, feeling the anger begin to burn.
“I actually trust that.” She bows her head. “I wasn’t pretty like them. I didn’t have the huge boobs or hair out to here.” Her arms come out to her sides of her head, demonstrating. “I didn’t speak the language that you were beginning to take on. I was an outsider. That is why I left.”
“Mear, that’s fucking bullshit, and you damn well know it. You left because you were scared.”
“I …” I hold up my hand, not wanting to hear the words she’s going to say.
“You know you were the only woman for me. None of those bitches meant shit. I didn’t fuck a single one of them, and I had a shit load of opportunities to, Mear—don’t get me wrong. But I fucking kept my dick in my pants and came home to you every night.”
“I know,” she whispers.
“Then why’d you leave?”
She rests her head back on the headboard. “I didn’t think we had a future. You were so enthralled with the club and going on runs or whatever. I felt like I didn’t matter, that you didn’t love me enough to pick me over the club.”
And the truth finally comes out.
“Was that shit so hard to say?”
Her head pops up, and she gives me an icy stare. Fuck, I missed that shit, too.
“It’s true—the club comes first—but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t protect you and keep you safe until my dying breath,” I tell her in all sincerity.
A tear falls from her right eye and travels down her cheek, falling to the sheets. “It would have never worked. I was so young.”
“You were young, but that’s no reason to assume it wouldn’t work,” I fire back.
“I saw one of the ol’ ladies get slapped across the face,” she says quietly. “I didn’t want to end up like that.”
“I don’t know what that situation was, but I never gave you the impression that I’d hit you, Mear. That shit belongs to the asshole that’s dead right now.” Her body shakes as more tears fall. “So why not tell me about the baby?”
“All you would have said to me was ‘Mearna, come back,’ and I would have. I was so lost without you. I wanted you so badly. I was terrified about having a baby on my own. As much as I wanted to come back to you, I knew, after I found out I was pregnant, there was no way. I couldn’t expose a baby to this.” She moves her hand through the air. “I cried all the time. Sometimes I didn’t stop for days, just aching to be with you.”
Aw, fuck it. I move to the other side of the bed, kick off my boots, and climb in. I pull Mearna into my arms and hold her as the sobs rake over her.
“You’re right. I would have come and gotten you and brought you back. I would have taken care of you and Tanner.”
“But a baby in the club?” Mearna says through her tears.
“Princess grew up just fine. She’s been around the guys since she was born. Have you seen Casey yet?” She shakes her head. Princess is a badass bitch, and I’m proud of the way she turned out, smartass mouth and all. “That’s Bam’s kid and GT’s ol’ lady. She’s in college, doing well.”
“Ma did a great job with Princess,” she says through a hiccup.
“You would have done a great job here, too, with me.” Fuck, I sound like a fucking pussy. Someone needs to strip my fucking man card. “It’s in the past now. Tell me about Tanner.”
The overwhelming sobs slow as she sniffles into my shirt. “She was born at midnight, not a minute before or after. Even the doctors and nurses said they hadn’t had a baby at straight up midnight in a long time.” She sighs. “She came out screaming bloody murder, and I knew she was my girl. Looks-wise, she was perfect, but she did have a small defect.” Mearna’s head shifts up a bit, and my stomach drops at the word defect. “She was born with a cleft palate. Inside your mouth, you have a roof as they call it. Well, she was born without it. So there was a hole from her mouth to her nose. No one could see it from the outside, but inside, there was no denying it. Feeding her was difficult because everything that went in her mouth came out of her nose.”
Holy shit!
“And you dealt with all that by yourself?”
“For the most part. Tanner had to go under surgery to repair it. Two, actually. Each time, they had to put stilts on her arms at the elbow to make sure she didn’t put her hands in her mouth and mess up the stitches in there.” Mearna settles back into me. “After the second surgery, she was perfect. She was able to eat and drink without anything coming out of her nose. I took pictures, but I’m not sure if I grabbed them when we left.”
I rub my hand up and down the softness of her arm. “How was she as a kid?”
“Trouble.” She chuckles. “She was into everything. We had a small apartment, and I did my best to baby proof it, but she always found a way to get past it. Even locks. I have no idea how she figured them out, but she did and opened them with ease.”
“Sounds like she has some of me in her.”
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br /> “More than you think. Growing up, she had friends, but only certain ones. She liked being alone. She wasn’t a social butterfly and still isn’t. All through school, she got decent grades and ended up learning to do hair after high school. She works at a shop in town and says she loves it.” Pride swarms within Mear’s words, and I can’t help feeling it, too.
“So she’s happy?”
“She never liked James.”
“Smart girl.”
Mearna chuckles. “Yes.” She stops laughing and almost stills. “The first time he hit me, it was bad, but I hid most of it from Tanner. Then it happened a few more times, and I stayed because he scared the ever-loving shit out me. The time that Tanner saw it, she was livid at me, but not as mad as I was at myself for putting up with it.”
“Go on,” I urge.
“Tanner told me that, if it ever happened again, she would get me out, and she did. That kid is the light in my life.”
“I can see that.”
“Sometimes, I worry that she’s so put together because she’s afraid I’ll be disappointed in her or something. Truth is, I just want her happy. I don’t care how it comes, just happy.”
“Even with Rhys?” I ask. He’s my brother and I love him as such, but if he hurts my baby girl, hell will rain.
Mearna lets out a deep sigh. “If that is who makes her happy, then so be it. I will stand by her no matter what she chooses.”
“What about you?” I feel like a fucking idiot as soon as the words leave my mouth, but fuck it. I’ve always been balls to the wall.
“Me what?”
“What makes you happy?”
Mearna rises off me so she is now sitting next to me. “Too much time has passed. We are different people now.”
“True, babe.”
“I’m getting old, Dagger. I’m done with the games and the broken promises. Whoever is going to make me happy is going to be straight forward and get to the point quickly. I’m not into all that courting or dating crap. It’s been too long.” Her arms wrap over her body protectively. “And I don’t look the way I used to anymore.” So that’s what this is really about.