But sometimes a girl couldn’t have what she wanted.
Still, she’d gotten into a dress, so she was going to enjoy herself if it killed her. Granted the weather was complete shit, but she’d done nothing but sit around the house for a week growing bigger and bigger, and more restless.
“It’s not too late to take you home,” Tanner said.
“I’m going,” she said. “I’m sorry if I sound childish, but I just really need to get out and see people.” People being anyone other than her well-meaning but overprotective sisters. They just wanted to be there for her, but if she heard one more horror story of childbirth, she was going to refuse to go into labor altogether.
God. Thinking about it, she suddenly couldn’t breathe, and it had nothing to do with her asthma. She wasn’t ready for this—
“Chloe—” Tanner’s eyes were unusually serious. “The storm is bad and getting worse. Sawyer’s going to kick my ass.”
At the mention of her husband’s name, her heart actually squeezed tight. She missed him so much. Over the week, she’d decided the mysterious presents had to somehow be from him, and she was having a hard time holding onto any mad.
All she wanted for Christmas was him.
Home.
Safe.
In her arms…
But she’d been such a bitch when he’d left, leaving her wondering where his head was at. She had no idea how she’d ever gotten lucky enough to be loved by him. “Don’t be a puss now,” she said to Tanner, pulling up her hood. “I’m doing this.”
She stepped out into the eerily silent but crazy snow and tried to stretch the kink out of her aching back.
Not happening.
Tanner and Callie got out of the car as well, decked in their finery. And Tanner in a suit was fine indeed…
“Look,” he said gently, and playfully tugged on a strand of the long, wavy red hair she’d left down because her damn back had ached too much to stand in front of the mirror and fight it into an updo. “If at any time you change your mind, I’ll take you home. We could watch a movie—”
“You have a date tonight with Callie,” Chloe reminded him.
“I don’t mind,” Callie said. “A movie sounds lovely.”
They were just being kind to the crazy pregnant lady. Chloe shook her head and started up the walk.
Tanner took ahold one of arm and Callie the other, helping Chloe through the already six inches of snow on the ground. A good thing since she couldn’t see her damn feet.
They entered the hall to find the party was in full swing, the noise and heat hitting them in a hot blast. The place was decorated within an inch of its life. Silver balls, huge Christmas trees, boughs of holly, strings of white lights—it was gorgeous and blinding.
Tanner was still at her side, and he shifted closer to murmur in her ear, “Text me and I’ll have you out of here in three minutes.”
“No you won’t,” Sam said. Sam ran Lucky Harbor Charters with Tanner, and he turned from the floor-to-ceiling windows to look at them. “Jack just heard on his radio that they’re getting ready to close the roads.”
“Then let’s get merry,” Chloe said.
Her sisters were at a table with Ford and Jax, and all four jumped up at once when she approached them. “You should all be very afraid,” Chloe said, disgruntled. “I’m not going to be Two-Ton Tilly forever. Someday soon I’ll be able to kick ass again.”
Jax snorted. “I’m pretty sure you could do it right now,” he said. “The only one not afraid of you is your man—who wouldn’t be happy to see you here.”
“Well, good thing then that he’s gone off and can’t see me, isn’t it?” Fine, so she was cranky. But she had a little hand poking in her ribs and something else, possibly a foot, tap-dancing on her bladder.
“Waddle your way over here to this chair,” Jax said, and Chloe considered killing him as Ford pulled out the chair for her and helped her ease down into it.
“I’m not an invalid,” she said.
Maddie hugged her. “Of course not. Invalids stay where they’re put.”
Tara was eyeing Chloe’s dress with suspicion. “Where did you get that?”
Well, crap. “Made it,” Chloe said.
“Yeah? Because it looks an awful lot like the robe I just purchased.”
Chloe affected a wide-eyed sad look and let her voice waver. “Are you saying I look like I’m in a bathrobe?”
“No,” Tara said quickly. “Of course not. You look beautiful.”
“Okay then,” Chloe said, and sniffed. “Thank you.”
“Let’s toast,” Maddie said, ever the peacemaker. She tapped her champagne glass to Chloe’s water glass. “To the newest addition in our crazy family—the Bean.”
Everyone drank to that, and Chloe found herself having a good time over the next hour. She tried to let the happy soak into her, through her, and wanted the baby to feel it too, but there was no denying that something was missing.
Or someone was missing.
Sawyer should’ve made it back by now, and she realized her cramps were most likely stress. Please be okay… Because he had to be, she would accept nothing less. Restless and uncomfortable, she shifted in her chair for the millionth time, to no avail.
“You okay?” Ford asked.
“Always,” she said.
He smiled at her. “Tough girl to the end.”
When the music sped up, Chloe set down her glass and stood. Time to stop dwelling. “I want to dance.”
Both sisters opened their mouths to protest, but it was Jax who leaned in. “Honey, Dr. Tyler wanted you to stay quiet.”
Chloe snorted. “Dr. Tyler didn’t say that; Sawyer said that. And he’s not here, so who’s going to dance with me?”
When both brothers-in-law stared at her, she tugged on Ford’s hand.
“Why me?” he asked.
“Because you love me the most,” she said.
Sap that he was, Ford smiled and led her to the dance floor. Then he pulled her into his arms, shifting in a natural rhythm with the music. He stroked a hand down her back, rubbing her aches and pains, making her moan.
“Here, darlin’,” he said, pulling her in tighter. “Since you’re wearing sneakers instead of your usual ballbuster heels, you can stand on my feet and let me do all the work.”
She hadn’t realized how utterly exhausted she was until she let her weight go, allowing him to hold her up. “Mmm,” she said, eyes closed, her head on his chest. “Wake me when the New Year comes, okay?”
He laughed softly and hugged her as he danced them slowly around the floor. “The most hardheaded woman I know having a child with the most stubborn man on the planet,” he marveled. “God help the two of you.”
“Don’t you mean the three of us?” Chloe asked. “Me, Sawyer, and the baby?”
“Nah,” he said. “The baby’s going to be fine. You’re going to make a great mama.”
She knew her hormones were in overdrive when her throat tightened. “You think so?”
He squeezed her gently. “I know so.” Then he took her hands in his and looked into her watery eyes. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah.” She let out a shuddery sigh. “It’s just that my back and legs hurt, and I have cramps.”
“Let’s sit down.”
“Not yet,” she said, and didn’t lift her head from his shoulder. She thought maybe she could sleep right here. Ford’s arms were strong and warm.
Not as strong and warm as Sawyer’s, though. No one was as strong as Sawyer, inside and out. From the very beginning, he’d both driven her insane and made her feel protected and safe for the first time in her life.
“He’ll be back soon,” Ford said quietly.
“You a mind reader?”
“No, you’re just not all that good at hiding your feelings.”
“Last week, I couldn’t sleep. At midnight I decided I had to have cran-apple juice. Cran-apple juice, Ford.”
“So you got thirsty.”
“At midnight,” she reminded him. “Sawyer told me he’d go first thing in the morning. The poor guy hadn’t gotten home until ten, and he had to be at work early for a meeting. I knew he wouldn’t have time to go in the morning so I threw on sweats and drove to the store. I stood there in the aisle of the grocery store and burst into tears because there was no cran-apple juice. There was a gallon of cranberry juice and a gallon of apple juice, but no cran-apple. I was going to have to buy the two gallons and mix them together. But the gallon jugs were too heavy for me to lift.”
Ford sighed. “You’re such a nut.”
“I know!”
“What happened?”
“Sawyer had followed me to the store. He bought the two gallons and shepherded me home.”
Ford laughed. “The man’s a sucker.”
“The man’s got to be insane to still want me.”
“Chloe, look at me.”
He waited until she lifted her head and met his gaze. “He’s taking these jobs because he wants to build the addition to your house for the baby, not because he wants to be away from you.”
“Are you sure?” Chloe asked with what she thought was a perfectly even voice, proud to think she was hiding her fear that it wasn’t true, that Sawyer was taking the DEA jobs because she’d turned into an endlessly pregnant shrew.
“Very sure,” Ford said, and hugged her tight. Or at least as tight as he could given that she was the size of a VW Bug.
“And when this job is finished,” he said, “he says he’s done, no more out-of-town jobs.”
“I don’t want him to give up anything for me,” Chloe said.
Ford laughed. “Have you ever seen Sawyer do anything he doesn’t want to do? We both know that, if he’s walking away from the DEA, he’s doing it because he wants to, because it’s the right thing to do.”
Chloe closed her eyes and sighed, suddenly far too exhausted to hold herself up.
“Help me get her back to her chair,” she heard a few moments later, feeling herself shift from Ford’s arms so that she was between two men.
“Here, babe.” It was Lance, her best friend and—up until getting pregnant—her cohort in crime. Sawyer had taken Lance aside and threatened bodily harm and dismemberment, promising to follow him all the way to hell if Lance got Chloe in trouble even once during her pregnancy. Lance, fighting a very losing battle against cystic fibrosis, hadn’t been in the least concerned, but out of respect for Chloe and her marriage, he’d done his best.
“Drink this,” Lance said, and Chloe opened her eyes.
She was back in her seat and Lance had brought her tea. “I’d rather a hot toddy,” she murmured, and sucked in a breath when the baby kicked her in the ribs again.
“Drink,” Lance said, not cracking his usual wiseass smile, which meant she’d worried him. A mean feat as nothing worried Lance, not even death.
“I’m okay,” she promised him. “We’re both okay.” And then she hoped that was true as another vicious cramp gripped her. She did her best to let herself fall into it, listening with half an ear as conversation went on around her.
“The snow’s coming down like mad,” she heard Maddie say in a soft, concerned whisper. “Soon as there’s a break, we’re taking her to the hospital.”
“Agreed,” Tara said.
“Not until I have cake,” Chloe managed. When the pain broke, Chloe looked up to tell them she was fine, but she stilled in shock. At first she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her so she rubbed them and focused again.
No trick. Her heart couldn’t be that cruel as it squeezed tight because Sawyer was there, right there, crouched in front of her.
He was in weather gear, dusted in snow. His expression was blank to anyone who didn’t know him. But she did know him and had no trouble catching the irritation in those brown eyes.
Before she could say a word, another pain gripped her.
His hands slid to her swollen belly, warm and sure. “The Bean,” he said. “Being rough on her mama.”
Robbed of breath, she could only nod.
“She’s just like you already,” he said. “Impatient to the end.”
Frustrated with her as he undoubtedly was and always would be, his voice remained calm and steady, and everything she’d ever needed.
Chapter 5
Sawyer could feel the tightness of Chloe’s body as the contraction gripped her, her belly rippling beneath his palms. She was panting through it, the strain of it tightening her mouth and shadowing her eyes.
He was as tough as they came, life had made sure of it. But watching the woman he loved more than life itself writhing in pain because of him made him feel as helpless as the newborn trying to make its way into the world. “Keep breathing, babe,” he murmured when Chloe caught her breath and held it. “In and out.”
She stared at him, eyes luminous and wide. Whether that was pain, fear, or just the sight of him, he had no idea. But God, she was a sight for sore eyes. He knew she didn’t consider herself classically beautiful, but to him, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Even eight and a half months pregnant, she had that special something that would have any man turning his head to watch her. It was a combination of looks and attitude and liveliness, and he’d thought about her 24/7 since he’d left.
“Slow,” he said when she tried to suck in too much air and he heard the telltale wheeze of her asthma. If she had an attack now, he’d have to get her to the hospital… “Slow,” he said again, and breathed with her.
She nodded gratefully and stared at his mouth, mimicking his breath.
“You’re back,” she finally managed when the contraction passed, and her voice sounded almost…surprised.
The surprise shocked Sawyer to the core. They’d never had it easy. In fact, their relationship was akin to a porcupine and a cactus trying to make a life together—prickly as hell.
And amazing.
She’d changed his life, for the better. She’d added color to his black-and-white world and was his heart and soul.
But being with Chloe was more like being on a roller coaster than a smooth highway. It was a fast, hard ride, and there were ups. There were downs.
And he wouldn’t change a second of it for the world.
But the pregnancy hormones hadn’t been easy for her. Or him. She’d been on edge nearly the entire time, and he had yet to figure out what to do or how to talk her down. Everything he’d done or said had only seemed to make it worse. So he’d thrown himself into work, thinking if he was out of her hair enough, she might not be tempted to kill him.
But that she’d actually be surprised to see him come for her? Damn. “Did you think I wouldn’t come back?”
She shrugged and tried to turn away. But hell no. He planted a hand on either side of her hips and leaned in close. “Chloe.” He waited until she looked at him. “I’ll always come for you.”
Something in his fierce tone seemed to get through, and she relaxed slightly. But not enough to suit him. He slid the palm of his hand to the back of her neck and stroked her soft, damp skin. “You’re in pain.”
“It’s better now that you’re here,” she said breathlessly. “How did you make it? I heard the roads were closed.”
He considered his response a moment, not sure she needed to hear the difficulties he’d had in breaking away to get here after Tanner had called him to say she’d come to the party. “Got stuck about a mile back,” he said. “Had to walk the rest of the way in.”
She put her hands over his and gasped. “You’re soaked, and your hands are freezing!” Her voice was tense. The pain was getting to her. “Oh, Sawyer. You shouldn’t have come—”
“Could say the same to you,” he said, and slid both Jax and Ford a long, hard stare. They both had the good grace to look a little apologetic.
Good. The fuckers. He’d tasked them with the most important thing in his life, and here she was, in labor, in a snowstorm…
“Don’t start in on t
hem,” Chloe said. “They didn’t know. I sneaked out.”
There was something most definitely in her voice now, and he cupped her face.
Yep. She was ready for battle.
“I wanted to be here with my family and friends.”
He suspected she was going to need that energy for the night ahead. “Then let’s enjoy it,” he told her, and then headed off any reply with a soft hello kiss right on those lips that loved to talk back to him.
Never before had he had someone in his life continuously do that, and at first he hadn’t known what to do with her. It’d taken him a while to clue in, but in the end, he’d had no choice but to love her with his entire heart and soul.
Reaching into his bag, he came up with an inhaler and set it on the table in case she needed it.
She slapped her hand out for it and took a long hit. And then a second. Both a struggle that pinched at his heart. Her debilitating asthma was in better control these days, but stress brought it out. Labor was definitely going to be a trigger.
“You had one of my inhalers on you?” she asked when she could.
Always. “Just in case.”
A little more of the tension around her eyes eased, and seeing that did the same for him. He grabbed a chair and sat, and then shifted her so that she could lean back into him. Once she did, he slid his arms around her, gently kneading her belly, feeling better when she relaxed into him.
He ran a finger over the gold heart locket she wore nestled between her breasts. “You got it.”
“I knew it,” she muttered. “Who was your delivery boy? Not my sisters or Jax or Ford.”
“Are you kidding?” he asked. “None of them can keep a secret. Lance.”
She laughed a little breathlessly. “Makes sense. I especially loved the doughnuts.”
“Thought you might.”
Another cramp hit, and her sisters moved in, fussing over her. And it was a sign of just how much she hurt when she let them. Their conversation went on around him, but he let it, concentrating on the woman in his arms. She was drifting, he thought, resting. And then she sucked in her breath and sat straight up.
Merry Christmas, Baby Page 3