I brushed away a tear with the back of my hand and pulled tissue out of my jean pocket to blow my nose. “Tyler? Why did the Shining Ones leave me with such a violent family?
He gave me a sad smile and touched my arm. You were supposed to be raised by June. When her husband was killed unexpectedly she was unable to adopt you. Back in those days it was not possible for a single black woman to adopt a white child. Instead she moved to your neighborhood and cared for you as best she could”.
The tears I had been holding back came with full force. I was always meant to be with gramma June. Somehow I knew it all along. She was the one who loved me to the end.
Tyler rubbed my back until my tears subsided. “Ivy. If you hadn’t been with the family you were with your sister and brother would have suffered even more”.
Tears slid down my face. “How could they have suffered more than they did? They both died terrible deaths and I didn’t help them”.
Tyler moved closer to me and held me close. I cried silently until no more tears would come. When I could cry no more he wiped my face with the sleeve of his shirt and kissed my forehead.
“You brought happiness into their lives and they eventually found the light. If you hadn’t come along they would have gone over to the dark side. They would have been condemned to eternal damnation in this very place. They were born to parents of darkness and it was only a matter of time before they turned. So you see, in a way you did save them. Everything eventually worked out in the end”.
Tyler pulled back from me and touched my cheek. “That night at Fred Meyer’s I decided to pull away from you. I knew that bad things were going to happen and I didn’t want to be involved. That night in the study, when I overheard my parents talking, I learned you were going to be killed”.
I tried to say something but he put a finger up to my lips and continued.“The boys that followed you from school to the woods were supposed to kill you”.
I raised my head slightly and blurted out. “How could you let that happen to me Tyler? I trusted you. I thought you loved me.” My words trailed off. He shook his head slightly and met my gaze. “I told my parents that if the boys assaulted you that would be good enough. I assured them that you would be no danger to us and I agreed to not see you anymore if they would let you live. I know now I should have fought for you that night but I was afraid. Afraid for what would happen to my family and afraid of putting things into motion so soon”.
My face flu shed and I clenched my jaw. “So instead you let them rape me? You figured that would be better than letting them kill me? Do you know I wanted to die after that night? I didn’t care what happened to me and even hoped someone would kill me? Did you know that one night I hitchhiked home from Saltys at 2 am and was picked up by a demon? If it hadn’t been for the light that appeared in the SUV I couldhave been killed.”
Tyler shook his head slowly. He brushed the back of his hand over his eyes to wipe away tears that had formed. “If I could do it all over again I would. Please believe me that I have regretted that decision. Not a day went by that I didn’t wish to be with you again. A part of me died when you went out of my life. At the time it seemed the only way for you to be ableto live”.
I said nothing and rested a hand on Tyler’s shoulder. I couldn’t hate him for what he had done. We have all made bad decisions that have impacted others.
A tear slid down his face. “There is more Ivy. I wouldn’t blame you if you never want to see me again”.
I squeezed him gently with my hand and encouraged him to continue. “I went to the old house to find Jen and Bill. I was supposed to lead them to the lower realm and find a way to get you to come to them. They are in the procession that is passing us now”. Tyler hung his head and said nothing.
My hand flew to my mouth and I gasped. I blinked back tears and peered out to watch the demons that were approaching. Somewhere out there was Jen and Bill. So many thoughts are passing through my mind that I don’t know what to think. If they are being taken to the lower realm then it means they are alive. My heart skipped a beat with the realization that I wasn’t too late. Beside me I felt Tyler push himself backwards to leave the safety of the hiding place.
“Wait Tyler”. Our gazes locked and the anguish I saw in his eyes made me reach for his hand. He stopped and shook his head.
“I’m no good for you or anyone elseIvy. Can’t you see what I am? I let you down when you needed me and have even tricked your friends into looking for you. Now they have been caught and will be tortured and executed”.
“No Tyler. You’re not a bad person. You didn’t have to tell me all of this and could have turned me over to the demons. We all make decisions and do things we regret. It’s what we do in the end that matters”.
“How can you ever trust me again?” He said shaking his head I held his hand tightly in my own. Tyler had given me a peace that I have never known before. The memories I have carried all these years have been only half truths shrouded in lies. Now I am free from their hold. The weight I have carried on my shoulders is gone and the future seems to hold promise. I can finally let the bad memories go and see the truth for what it is.
“What are you thinking Ivy?” Tyler asked quietly.
I gave him a soft smile and moved closer. The warmth of his body next to me felt right. My lip quivered slightly as I spoke. “I feel free Tyler”. Tyler drew back so he could look into my eyes. His hand caressed my face and the years we were apart were stripped away. I can hear his soft intake of breath and the steady pace of his heart. A strange calm came over me and I no longer fear the future.
“We will go and find them together Ivy. It’s the right thing to do and I want to be with you until the end. I love you ivy”.
Tyler drew me close and stroked my hair. I breathe deeply, barely able to believe that we are together again. My entire life has led up to this day and now I won’t have to face it alone. I never feared going into the lower realm but I didn’t savor going in alone. Tom had assured me that I would be safe. His words echo in my mind even now.
Don’t worry for your life Ivy. You a re protected and your death can only come from the source that is leading you.
Despite Tom’s words, I sense a sudden panic rise inside me. It’s the first time I have felt the blackness of hell rising and it is taking every ounce of effort inside me not to let my fear show. The evil here can smell my self-doubt like a predator smells fear. Taking a deep breath, I resign myself to embrace the edge of darkness. I can feel the whip of the wind on my cheek, and in the far distance, I hear the sound of a dull explosion.
I squeeze my eyes shut to block out all fear. Inside my chest, I can feel something exploding inside me. My insides burn white hot and power rages through me. I focus with all that I am to control it and slowly it backs off. When I open my eyes I am shining with a translucent light.
Tyler had let go of me the moment the light filled my mind. He stood several feet away looking at me solemnly. I focus on his face and see apprehension and am startled by the empty darkness in his eyes. Something in them is oddly chilling and deep inside I can see dancing tongues of flame. The silhouette of a dark creature merges with the flames and Tyler’s irises dance. I have seen this once before. The tall woman, dressed all in black, with a rope in her hand.
Chapter 14
I flinch slightly as I gaze at Tyler . I could have killed him easily with the raging power. I know that something inside me was triggered when I saw the procession pass by me but I had somehow controlled it. I feel tormented and confused even. The light is woven in the very fiber of my soul, and I feel that should it be released; it will destroy me. I am myself-I know I am myself but I am also something more. Something that is hard to grasp.
I remember the acute awareness of the moment and the fury that I repressed. There seemed to be an indignant rage when I looked in Tyler’s eyes. His face seemed to change for a moment and I felt his own light fade. There was a subtle flash that he was not himself. An alarm
went off in my head but I can’t let my own paranoia take root.
My paranoid thoughts are nothing unusual and given the stress of the day I must be seeing things that are not really there. But what if? What if I did see something in his eyes? The energy of the shift in his persona was like a vortex. He had not been there for a moment but something else came through. But don’t most of us hide or suppress something inside of us? Who we are in private is not the same as the face we show to the world.
Tyler had been my friend when I needed someone. I suspect it had been difficult to befriend a girl that everyone at school thought was sketch. In a way he had saved me. Saved me from myself, and for a few years, I had been accepted. It’s difficult for people to understand how much those looking from the outside in just want to appear normal. There is something pure about someone who takes a risk to accept and make an outcast part of their circle of friends. I had cherished those years and wanted desperately to be something more than who I was back then.
There is absolutely no room for me to doubt him now. I need himand won’t let my paranoia destroy what we have had all along. Jen always told me I deserved good things because inside I was a good person. I almost choked on the thoughts. I wish I could have been there when she needed me.
Tyler looks at me silently and I reflect. He seems to be staring right into my soul. I shivered. How can I ever trust him again? But then again how can I walk away and forget him- My face heats up as I recall his arms around me just hours ago. I have a way of obscuring things that mean something to me. Maybe what he did or rather didn’t do that awful night in the woods wasn’t his fault and I should let it go- I can’t make eye contact with him- not now- with the last chain of events fresh on my mind.
The cover of dark seemed a good time to travel so we slept a few hours and then packed up camp. We walked silently in the direction that the procession had gone. He hadn’t mentioned the events of yesterday and I didn’t want to talk about it. The old Ivy would have pushed the issue in a no-holds-bar interrogation but things are different now. I glance at him but he is his usual polite, distant self. How confusing he can be. He seems to have lost the carefree, fun loving spirit I had loved about him. He is still beautiful and seductive though, without even trying to be. I want to feel his arms around me and brush the untidy hair out of his eyes. Nothing is ever the same as it once was. Things always change no matter how much you want them to say the same. Someday I will probably look back on this moment and wish that I could feel it again. Why is it that we are rarely happy living in the moment and don’t realize what we had until it’s gone? I frown in spite of myself and force myself to think about what I will find up ahead.
All I really need to do is go through the motions and I will find what I am looking for ahead. I have grown accustomed to sensing things that will happen and I don’t make mistakes. Not anymore. If there is one thing I have learned, it’s that the path I am supposed to take is right in front of me but that from each choice there will be life-changing effects. Some effects may turn out to be heartbreaking. When I was younger I craved resolution but I have learned to not be blindsided by the past. Can we really change the past or make the present better by reliving it?
Random details of the past stay with me despite my effort to forget. Small things, like the way Jeff looked after a home-run at his little league game; or the way Jen’s nose wrinkled, when she laughed at my jokes. Or the way Tyler’s hair fell over his eyes, when we met on the golf greens, the day life fell apart in front of me. These are good memories, and despite myself,I can’t let myself forget. In forgetting the good parts of our past we lose ourselves. That to me is more tragic than anything I can imagine. To step outside of time is to lose something precious.
Tears threaten to spring from my eyes. I push them back. What hope is there for the future if all we love in the past is gone? I suddenly realize, that the past was once the future; and in it, new memories were created to hold onto. It’s this realization that gives me the assurance that all this is leading into something. Maybe I will find what it is that I have always been looking for and find the part of me that I was always meant to be. In my experience, life always has something new to throw at you. I don’t always like what I see but then things are not always obvious or straightforward like they seem. Sometimes something wonderful can come from the most random thing of things.
Tyler remained still a moment, his hands in his pockets. Then he walks over to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. A hint of a smile is on his lips. In a way the smile was reassuring.
“We should keep moving while it’s dark. It will be easier with the backdrop of night”. He said I frowned slightly. I don’t like taking orders from anyone and besides that, it may be better if I go alone. He didn’t seem to notice my hesitation and walked to the horse to get on. A moment later he was swinging up and pushed himself behind the saddle while holding the reins in his hand. Relief washed over my body and I realized I wanted him to be with me.
I took the reins from his hand, mounted and wasted no time pushing forward. The only sound was the squeak of the leather saddle and the sound of horse hooves. The sky had grown blacker and the place seemed to close in on us as we rode in the direction the convoy had gone. My hands clutched the reins and I can’t help but wonder what this night will bring.
In the distance is blue light. I will soon be at the place I had seen David. Fire, burning pain and torture await me. There will be row upon row of bodies strewn everywhere with tangled innards stretching along the ground like ropes. I can almost see the hollow eyes of the demon and the twisted smirk on his face. I suck in the cool air and do my best to hold back the choking fear.
I remind myself that my friend is facing this right now and if I don’t go she and the others have no chance to get away. I shiver involuntarily. Moments later I feel Tyler’s arm tightly around me and his fingers interlacing with mine. Tears fall down my face and I am glad for the darkness. I don’t want him to see me like this. The familiar sound of his breathing calms me and we ride closer to the blue light.
“Ivy?” I am almost shocked by the sound of his voice in my ear. I grip his fingers tighter in my own. We had always had an unspoken love that needed no words. Could he really be himself again?
“I just want you to know that I’m sorry. No matter what happens tonight, I want you to know, that I will always love you”. He said
I leaned closer to him and rested my head on his chest. I circled the reins around the saddle horn and reached my hand to his face. I was surprised to find his cheek wet and my heart skipped a beat. How could everything seem so hopeful and yet so utterly lost? This was the Tyler I had known and if all I have is tonight then it will be enough for me. How many times do people wish for just one more moment with someone they love?
I had often wished for one such moment with him. I had reached out to him in my dreams to feel his arms around me, to caress his face and feel his heart beating next to mine. I had no idea that my longing to be with him had created a surge of energy inside me. When the turmoil was the greatest, I had reached out to him; and for a short time, we had been together in spirit. I had unwittingly drawn upon the energy inside myself and gone to him. I had faint memories of the dreams but hadn’t known that they were not dreams at all. Sorrow filled me for a moment. I blinked rapidly to bring my emotions back in check. Would I be able to finish this journey and make it out alive?
The skyline above us burned blue and just beyond was blackness. We had reached the mountains and now we will make our decent into the lower realm. A faint shimmer came from the trees behind us and then disappeared. The bitter stench of death clung to the air and the tunnels were not far ahead.
I fall silent and gaze at the tunnels thoughtfully in the dark night. Faint sounds come from within the catacombs beneath this mountain. I listen intently and hear the roar of fire coming from far away. The night air is thin and warm and I wonder what waits for us in the belly of the lower realm.
Chapt
er 15
. Time seemed to stand still in the tunnels. We had dismounted when we rode into them and thought about turning Jast loose but then something held me back. If he truly was a Watcher he would be useful. Besides, I may need him to carry Jen if she is injured.
All I can see is darkness and a faint glow far ahead of us. Things are so still. There is no sound save the drip of water from the ceiling onto the cave floor and the distant sound of fire. It was warm inside but I shiver despite myself. The stench of death that lingers in the air makes it difficult to breath and I struggle to keep from retching.
We move as quietly as possible through the long corridors. The floor is covered with sand which muffles the sounds of feet and hooves alike. The walls are roughly hewn out of stone and drips of water trickle down in places and disappear into the sandy floor. I expected to find traces of blood along the corridor but there is nothing of the sort. We had been walking for what seemed hours and must literally be in heart of the tunnels. It is here that they branch out in several directions extending for seemingly miles. These are truly the longest tunnels I have ever encountered and I lose perspective as to how far we have come from the entrance. I point my light down one corridor and it seems to grow impossibly narrow further down.
A large ledge hangs over the place where the tunnel branches off and we stand here a moment trying to decide which way to go. Tyler is beside me and I look up into his face but he is focused on a smaller tunnel to the far right. If we get stuck in that tunnel there will be no escape for it is narrow and we will have to walk single file. There is a faint glow far down that tunnel and I wonder if it opens up into the lower realm. I am too weary to decide and give Tyler a tired smile. He put his arm around me and pulled me close. Over six feet tall, with broadness to match, I don’t resist. I sigh and put my head in the crook of is neck. After a short rest we make our way down the tunnel.
Underworld (Dark Passage) Page 16