by A. A. Dark
“Try not to worry too much. When I head back into work later, I’ll look him up. I’m glad you told me. Did he mention when he arrived?”
His detective was starting to kick in, and it had my feelings for him surfacing even more. “Not yet, but I can find out. We’re about to leave to pick up Boston’s mother. I can talk to him then.”
“You’re going with them?”
It was my turn to be quiet. “Boston really wants me there.”
“Of course he does,” he bit out, only to calm his tone. “It’s a tad bit odd, I’d say, but whatever. If you come across anything, or need me, call.”
“I will not. You need sleep. Call me when you’re awake. Take care, Braden.”
I hung up, letting out a big breath. I plastered a fake smile on my face and headed back toward them.
“Done. They’ll cover me for the rest of the day.”
“Excellent. How about the night?”
“The night?” I repeated.
Dr. Patron’s brow creased at Boston’s question, but he gestured, and we began walking. Boston didn’t speak again until he and I were both sliding into the back seat of the luxury sedan.
“I’ve been thinking, Anna. You know this place better than anyone. You know the neighborhoods and a good amount of the residents. Hell, you cover the news. You have connections in the police department. I thought while Dr. Patron occupies my mother, we could put together a map. You can show me where the good areas are, and the bad. You can tell me everything there is about this city. Maybe even seeing it laid out in that form will make you think of something you might have possibly overlooked. A recent story, or a conversation concerning a criminal who didn’t seem like a big deal at the time, but actually is. You know, like the stuff you made me think of concerning the pictures.”
Boston turned more in my direction, continuing. “I only said night because I’m not sure how long this will take. I can’t sleep knowing Lucy is out there and possibly…” He closed his eyes, letting time pass before connecting back with me. “I’m not going to pretend I don’t know what happens to people when they get taken. Not all are abused or beaten, but no one has called for ransom and each minute that passes, she may be undergoing something that’s hurting her. I can’t stop looking until she’s found. To even begin, I need insight. Insight only you have.”
“From both sides? The victim and the…”
“Killer. Yes,” Boston said, nodding. “With Dr. Patron’s knowledge, mine, and yours…we can’t fail. There’s no way. We’re smarter than this person, but our time is running out. We’re Lucy’s best hope. I can’t explain it, but I can feel how right this is. You came to me that day for a reason. You wanted to find this person just as much as I did. Now’s our chance. You’re going to figure out where he is, and when you do, that bastard is mine.”
“Yours, how?” Our stares held for what felt like forever. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to with the darkness he harbored. I nodded, bringing my attention to Dr. Patron. He was watching us in the rearview mirror. “What’s your place in this? A distraction to Boston’s mother? Profiling? Both?”
“I once thought about contacting you, Ms. Monroe. But I’ll be blunt. You’re too unstable. You’re beyond help because you don’t want it. If you care what happens with Boston and Lucy, I think it would be best if you made your map and left.”
“What did I say?” Boston moved toward the edge of the seat. “Lucy needs Anna.”
“Lucy…or you?”
Boston reached around the seat and hooked his arm under Dr. Patron’s chin, choking him before the older man could react. With his other hand, Boston pulled against his wrist, tightening the grip. The car swerved through two other lanes on the freeway, nearly clipping a car before the doctor gained control. Despite the situation, he didn’t look panicked. There was no expression at all.
“You push me. Something you’ve never done before. Take it back.”
“Boston. Let him go.”
Hazel eyes shot to me. “Not until he apologizes. Take it back!” Boston pulled against his wrist until the doctor’s face was turning purple.
“F-Fine.”
Boston let go, slamming his fist into the back of the seat while Dr. Patron coughed.
“I can’t believe you fucking said that. You know how much I love Lucy.”
“I also know how obsession works and this is not your fault. Think about it. Who’s the doctor? Me. When I said I needed to ground you, I wasn’t joking. You’re not okay right now. Your condition doesn’t just disappear because the object of your affection is not present. Sure, it follows her. You’re compulsive in trying to locate her, but here, right now, you’re absorbed on something entirely different: Ms. Monroe. Her help is your fix, and for her safety…” Dr. Patron’s eyes flickered to me in the mirror, “she needs to remove herself from you.”
“Anna stays,” Boston threatened.
My head shook as I processed their argument. “Obsession? Like, real obsession?”
Boston’s face hardened as he leaned back in the seat. “Yes, but I promise you’re safe. I’ve been obsessed with Lucy since I was twelve. I’ve…done things…to make sure she was mine. I’ve killed for her, and not in self-defense. I love her. I love her more than anything in the world. He says obsession. Whatever. Let him use his labels. All I know is Lucy is my world and to keep it revolving around her, I’ll take out any bastard who gets in my way.”
“Like her mom? Her brother?” I asked cautiously.
“Enough,” Dr. Patron snapped. “You don’t know this woman. She could ruin you. This isn’t you talking, this is your condition allowing you to open up to her. Keep your mouth shut.”
“I already gave you my word, Boston. To the grave, remember?”
His jaw flexed through his paused silence.
“Yes. Like her mother and brother.”
The doctor’s fist hit into the dash. I wasn’t sure what to think of Boston’s confession, or even the doctor’s reaction. I should have been disgusted or terrified, but I felt nothing but surprise. Slowly, I reached for his hand. His breaths increased, but he didn’t move or pull away.
“I know obsession, in a way.” My voice dropped as I moved in closer so the doctor couldn’t hear. Boston was changing in my eyes. Turning into someone I could trust. Someone I could relate to. I couldn’t explain it, but he felt like a friend. Someone I had always known, even though I didn’t. We were similar, and there was solace for the woman who did nothing but bottle her secrets. They devoured me. Taunted me. “I once felt that way. I loved a girl. I loved her like I didn’t think possible. Nothing mattered but her. She was the first thing I thought of when I woke up, and the last before I went to bed. She consumed me. My heartbeats, my breaths, they were all for her.”
Over and over, Boston’s eyes jerked back and forth over mine. “Exactly. That’s how I feel for Lucy. What happened? You mentioned the detective, but nothing about a woman.”
I frowned, pausing. “It was a long time ago. I found her with a boy.”
“Did you kill him? I would have fucking killed him.”
I shook my head. “Not him.”
Surprise lit his face. “You killed her? The one you loved?”
“We shouldn’t talk about this right now.” I glanced back to the doctor.
“He won’t tell a soul. It’s his job. People like us.”
Confliction left me almost inaudible as I continued. I trusted Boston, but not this doctor.
“She hurt me. She betrayed me. I wasn’t in my right mind. I was destroyed to the core. No…destroyed doesn’t seem a strong enough word. My mother once said I would get hurt. That someone would break my heart. Her solution was the only thing I could think of during that time. It kept repeating over and over, feeding my pain. Cut out their heart, Anna. Put it in a box and lock it away. Without a heart, they can’t love another person. What’s better is it’s yours forever. Nobody can take it away from you. All I wanted was her heart. Her love. And she gave it to
someone else. But I got it back. It became mine forever."
Boston’s mouth was parted and the way he was staring had me quickly dropping his hand. Obsession. Yes, I could see it now, lurking in his depths, wrapping around who I was—what we shared.
“You cut out her heart. Wow. That’s…perfect for what she did. Although…” he got quiet, “I could never hurt Lucy. Not like that. Even if she did…she wouldn’t. But…no. It wouldn’t get that far because he’d be dead long before he ever thought of making his first move.”
“We really shouldn’t talk about such things right now.”
“No, Boston shouldn’t,” the doctor bit out. “But I wouldn’t mind hearing more about you. I did say I was curious about you, Ms. Monroe. Why don’t you tell me about those girls Mr. Turner brought you while he had you imprisoned in his home? Was finding that part of yourself again empowering? Fulfilling, even if you did know it was wrong? Or had you secretly killed before that?”
“Not going to happen, Doctor. I’m here to help. Not to confess so you can try to dissect or profile me.”
“There’s no need to do that. I already know enough. What were you whispering to Boston? Something about a heart. Were you telling him about your mother and your work together?”
“What I told him is between the two of us. Why the interest in who I am, or what I’ve done?”
“Curiosity. Although I know a lot about your life, I, of course, don’t know everything. It might do you some good to get it off your chest. I doubt there’s anyone you’ve been able to be open with.”
“I’m not a very open person, and I like it that way. Why don’t you tell me more about you, Dr. Patron? Why go from working with the FBI to catering to the same type of people you helped imprison? And don’t pretend that’s not what you do. Your protectiveness over Boston is genuine. Not paid for. You know his darkest secrets. You know what he’s capable of. Yet, here he sits, a free man. And with who else by his side? You. A professional, schooled in the ways of the law, not to mention a general doctor who’s mastered in psychology. It makes me wonder. Who is this man who puts himself on the same side as killers, yet walked away from the opportunity to be their downfall? Who is Dr. Patron?”
A smile jerked at his lips, but faded back to nothingness as his stare returned to the road. “You’re very clever Ms. Monroe. Surprisingly so. My work aside, you don’t like me, but it’s not for the reasons you think, and I’ll explain. What you feel is natural. You’ve bonded with Boston on a level you can’t quite understand. It was almost immediate for both of you, and even though the emotions were high on both your parts for Lucy, it has nothing to do with her. The two of you are killers. You both felt it before you ever knew. You subconsciously connected because your interests do not conflict. You think the same. You have the same sort of energy. Overall, you both protect. You have a common goal which was cemented from your first contact with each other. Add me into the picture, and it interferes with the entirety of the situation. It interferes with your motives.”
His eyes cut up to mine in the mirror for only a second as he continued.
“You like routine, Anna. So much so, anything that inhibits it can put a damper on your entire day. The way you look right now: your conservative clothes, your natural makeup—you’ve played the wallflower for so long, even though you don’t feel as though it’s who you are, it’s the perfect mask which puts you at ease. I bet before you got your contacts, you wore big glasses. Not ones that made you look pretty, but ones that hid your face. I also bet if I were to go into your home and look through your closet, everything would be a size too big. The colors bland. The necklines high. Your guilty pleasures, which to normal people would be hung further down the closet, are packed away tight. The temptation they represent is a comfort to have, but you’re not strong enough to stare at them daily. Daring dresses. Bright, tight, low-cut little numbers. Do you crave women, Anna? Do you fantasize about them often? Red lipstick. Dark eyeshadows. Isn’t that what you used to put on your mother’s victims before you cut off their breasts? Before you buried your little girl hands in their chests to remove their hearts? Open your purse, Little Annalise. Show me there’s not a tube of bright red zipped up in the inside pocket.”
My pulse pounded in my ears. I couldn’t think. Could barely speak, but my tone was strong and didn’t waver. “Would you like to borrow it, Doctor? The shade would look great with your deeply tanned skin and the color of your hair. But…no. I’m guessing with how much you work out, you’re not the feminine type. Quite the opposite, with your form-fitting suits, expensive watch, and shoes. Now, it’s my turn.”
I reached into my purse, jerked the zipper to my inside pocket, and took out the lipstick. I didn’t even look at the bright red shade as it rose, and I traced it over my lips. “You turned your back on the law to work with killers because although you crave the violence, you’re too cowardly to commit the act. I bet you get off at their confessions. Perhaps you fantasize about them and how you helped each of your clients get away with what most don’t. I’m going to bet this tube of red lipstick you have an excessive hate for woman. It shows in your overdeveloped biceps and your slip from being reserved. Something I bet you pride yourself on. You’re probably berating yourself on wasting your time having this exchange with me. Why you’re revealing too much when you know you shouldn’t. Yet, here you are, unable to help yourself. Unable to one-up me so you’ll feel superior.” I placed my lipstick back in my purse. “You may be surrounded by bad people, but there’s a difference between them and me. They trust you. They’re blinded by the false sense of fatherly protection you provide. I, on the other hand, see you for exactly what you are.”
“And what is that, Ms. Monroe?”
I smiled, rolling my eyes as I looked out the window. “If you’re so good, there’s no point in me telling you. You already know.”
Chapter 10
M
Know? Know? Yeah, I knew what she was getting at. She was suspicious of me. Which I was going to have to correct the moment I had the opportunity. The fact that she read me so clearly ate away at the doctor part I put on a pedestal. I underestimated Anna from the moment I realized who she was, and it was my mistake—one I had to fix before she somehow turned Boston against me. If she eventually discovered more and convinced him I had something to do with this, it wasn’t going to be good. I could try to persuade him of my innocence, even convince him, but his new obsessive crutch to Anna could make my job harder. He’d want to believe her. His mind would try to force him to.
“I can see how you would believe all that, Ms. Monroe. I really can. I’m even impressed by your analysis. I’m sorry to say it’s not true. Not even close. My large build has nothing to do with my hate of women and everything to do with the fact that I’ve heard and seen things over the years that make it impossible to sleep. It’s my way of unwinding and getting rid of the stress that comes with my job. It’s not easy listening to murders or pedophiles. But someone has to help them. I didn’t take this job because I have some secret affection for killers. I took this job because I thought I could make a difference.
“Yes,” I continued. “Some of my patients murder under my care. It’s bound to happen anyway. But, really, how many more would they have killed had it not been for me? Boston was twelve when his mother called. At that time, Lucy was five. Without my expertise, Boston may have done things he shouldn’t have, long before he did. I helped calm him. I redirected his obsessive, homicidal tendencies into theater in high school. To making movies once he graduated. Just like I do with all my patients. I’ve seen what killers do. I know how they think. And I’m here for them, to prolong the inevitable as much as I can. That is all. I’m sorry if we got off on the wrong foot. I really am. Like you saw and stated, I’m extremely protective over Boston. I’ve helped raise him in a way. My real profession is not known to the outside world. You have to understand that.”
Her lips pursed while her brow creased. She was considering my exc
use.
“Say I believe you. Fine. But stop trying to read me. I’m not your patient. You’ll get no therapy session out of me. I’m here for Lucy and Boston. That’s it.”
“I respect your wishes and will stop trying to help you. Again, I’m sorry. To both of you,” I said, glancing at Boston, who was also keeping a close eye on me. “Sometimes I’m more of a doctor and less of a friend. Boston, you know I care for you and Lucy. I never meant to insinuate you felt differently about her. I just want you better so we can find her.”
Silence followed us to the airport, but both Anna and Boston seemed more at ease. It worked. They were calm, and me…I had to tread carefully so I could keep it that way.
I pulled into parking, unable to turn off the car before Anna’s hand came up.
“If you don’t mind, I think I’ll wait here. This is more of a personal meeting. I have things to research for Lucy while I wait, and some of those might consist of making a few phone calls.”
“Things? What things? Who will you call?”
Boston was already moving in as Anna pulled out her phone.
“I used to work at the newspaper before I went to the station. I thought I’d call an old friend there and discuss recent stories. After that, I’ll go to their website. It’s best to double check.”
“I think I’ll stay with Anna,” Boston said, looking up at me. “You can get Joy. She likes you more anyway.”
“You don’t get along with your mother?”
My mouth opened to argue with Boston, but closed as I unbuckled.
“She tries, but she’s afraid of me. It’s probably better Dr. Patron gets her. I don’t feel like repeating everything that’s happened anyway. I want to get back to looking for Lucy. Why don’t you call, and I’ll look up the paper on my phone? What is it called?”
Anger thrummed as I opened the door. “I’ll be back.”
They didn’t even seem to hear as I got out and shut the door. Each step was full of hate. Full of my need to return to my house and take it out on the little bitch whose fault this was. I should have never let Boston and Lucy’s relationship get this far. I figured I had time. Up until Boston’s accident where he’d gone into a coma, I’d had him under my control. Then came the amnesia. It erased all my hard work and put his obsession into overdrive. Now, it was worse than ever, and that wasn’t good for the killer in Boston. All it would take was someone to look at Lucy wrong, and he could slip up and get caught. The years of hard work would be wasted. He’d be wasted. I couldn’t allow that.